It's going to be overrrr!! :O Sorry that I haven't updated in A GAZILLION YEARS. School just opened. H1N1! :O

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any other characters associated with the story. Neither do I own Bobby the Kangaroo. Thank you Fuzzylogic! :D

Chapter 18: Meeting Bobby the Kangaroo Disguised as a Cow

"OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR, DUDE!" someone shouted and banged loudly on the door. "OPEN UP! I NEED MY CLOTHES!"

I groaned and turned.

And dropped onto the floor.

"Ow," I muttered, and blearily got up. I realized that the room was empty and sunlight was streaming in. Someone was banging incessantly on the door, shouting for me to get up.

"I'm up!" I shouted. "Coming!"

"Finally," the male voice said. I rolled my eyes. As I passed the mirror on the dresser, I realized that my hair was a mess and I was clad in my pyjamas and in a totally different chalet. Sunlight was streaming through the windows. And today was the very last day!

I could do a happy dance, but I won't.

I opened the door, only to face Ken.

"Sheesh!" he said, and pushed past me to his bags.

"W-what are you doing here?" I yawned. "I thought Lissa and Brigid slept in this unit?"

"And so do I and some other people," he said, and rolled his eyes. "We went out yesterday night as we couldn't stand their stupidity, and when we came back, a particular someone was in my room. Sam and I had to sleep on the couches!"

"I'm sorry," I said, abashed.

He grunted.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Eight. We have to be in the main chalet by half-past eight with our packed bags. There's some last program before we're dismissed."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks," I said. I left the chalet and headed towards 34.

I yawned and wondered what was going to be up on today's menu. Reaching the front porch, I knocked on the door.

"MAAAAAAAAAXXX IIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS BBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!" Iggy screeched when Zoe opened the door, and a group of people attacked me into a hug. So that was how squashed bugs feel.

And guess who wasn't there to hug me?

Right.

Typical.

"Get changed! Iggy and Monsieur Bean have breakfast, and Fang helped you pack your bags," Brandon said. I nodded absently and headed up.

Fang followed.

"Hey," he said, as we both entered the room.

"Hi."

"I packed your stuff."

"Noticed."

"Yeah…"

I sighed.

"I'll go change," I said and walked towards my stuff.

"I missed you," he said quietly, I thought I didn't hear it at all.

Yeah… probably dreaming…

I got my clothes.

"I'm going to change now," I pointed out. "Are you going to stay?"

Fang turned around and left the room. His cheeks were slightly tinged with pink.

"Hey! Look at that cow!" Zoe squealed and pointed.

So after dumping our stuff onto the bus, Mr. Danny told us that our last stop was at a farm. More specifically, a cow farm. Or whatever it was. The first thing that hit me was the freaking smell! Then the noise. Then the cows. We were supposed to explore the farm in groups.

Fang and I turned. Someone was seated on the stool, milking a cow in a rhythmic pattern.

"That's practically molest!" Brandon said in disgust as we watched the people milking the cows. Squeezing the udders. Squish, squish, squish. I snickered. Fang shot a discreet glance my way, thinking that I didn't see. Yeah, things were kind of awkward around us, especially with Iggy and his funny jokes around, but it's getting better though.

"Why do their… udders look so pink? It's like, fake," Alvin commented.

"It looks like some kind of pink plastic over the udder!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Ohmygod! What if it's like condoms, for the udder! Hahaha! And it's pink, so what if it's strawberry flavoured??? Can you imagine – what if you put a strawberry flavoured condom on the cow's udder and squeeze the milk out, and you'll get strawberry milk! HAHAHAHA!"

"EWWWW!!"

"And chocolate flavoured condoms! Then we'll have chocolate milk!" Zoe said.

"I am never ever going to drink milk ever again," Alvin said.

"Who would, after that …interesting theory?" Michelle giggled.

"Condoms have flavor?" Angeline suddenly asked, seemingly interested. Iggy blinked rapidly.

"I don't know!" Carmen said happily. "But what if there is? Ohm – "

"Quick, someone get soap! We need to clean her mouth! And brains!" Michelle yelled, her hand clapped over Carmen's mouth. We laughed and I shot a glance at Fang. Are my eyes deceiving me, or is Fang looking really, really interested?

I threw that thought out of my mind and laughed uneasily.

"Why would condoms have flavor, though?" Fang asked. He had been so quiet, everyone jumped when they heard his voice. I snickered.

"I know…" Angeline said, and smiled in that way. The classic pervert look. My insides lurched.

"They don't," I said.

"And how would you know, my dearest Maxie?" Iggy asked and smiled.

"Because."

"My god, you're acting just like my mum. Why? Because. Geez," Angeline rolled her eyes.

"Maxie's just like Mommy," Zoe sang in a sing-song tone.

"But then who is our Daddy?" Michelle asked and giggled.

"Your Daddy's Maxie's hubby!" Alvin said. Cheesy.

"And Maxie's hubby's Fangy!" Iggy ended. I flushed.

"Does that mean they had sex?" Carmen piped up.

"Mommy, where do babies come from?" Angeline asked in a 'baby' voice. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, dear, you see, when your Mommy and Daddy love each other veeerrryy much, they do something to show their love, and then babies are made!" Fang said, looking at a cow.

The mooing of the cow broke the complete silence.

We were all staring at Fang in shock. Me included. And Iggy staring at his general direction.

"Is he PMSing?" Michelle suggested in an uneasy voice.

"Huh?" Fang said, and turned around to face us, looking genuinely surprised. "I didn't say anything. Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

The cow laughed.

I. Am. Serious.

I mean, it's mouth didn't move, but… it was LAUGHING!

"A-am I dreaming?" Zoe muttered, and started walking backwards away from the cow.

"Pinch me," Brandon said. "Perhaps the Flying Dutchman has set a curse on me! Ouch! I didn't mean pinch me literally!"

"What's going on?"

"I AM BOBBY, A KANGAROO IN DISGUISE AS A COW," the cow said. It continued chewing.

How the heck can it talk and chew at the same time?

"Okay, uh, Bobby… Why can you talk?" Carmen asked.

"The King of Cows has set blessed me with the privilege of speech," the cow said.

Then it farted. Or pooped. Whatever it did, it sounded wet. And disgusting.

"EWWWW!" A little boy's voice exclaimed.

"GAZZY!" Iggy exclaimed, and started laughing. The Gasman emerged from behind the cow, covered in dung.

Ouch.

"Practicing throwing your voice, are you?" Fang asked, annoyed.

Gazzy grinned cheekily.

"You mean you were Bobby the Kangaroo in disguise as a cow?" Brandon asked, interested.

"Uhuh! Hi! I'm The Gasman! Gazzy," he smiled toothily and held out a hand to shake.

"I'd … er… rather not," Michelle said, glancing at his dirty hand.

"What are you doing here?" Iggy asked.

"Enjoying nature," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"What is with you and nature?" I asked and rolled my eyes.

"Well, I have to learn from the experts," he said and looked at me seriously.

Unfortunately, I think I caught on.

"You – you mean – what the heck?!" I exclaimed.

"It's coming," he said and looked at me with serious, wide eyes. "I've learned from the experts. Now, it's time to test my skills."

"EVERYBODY RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Iggy yelled, and we ran out, pulling the others along. They had confused looks on their faces.

We got out just in the nick of time.

I could practically hear a "Boom" as Gazzy let go.

I think I heard the cow moo and thud loudly onto the floor.