She had to get out of here.
That was the first thought that crossed Bo's mind while she got out of The Morrigan's office after hearing Lauren saying that she didn't want to leave the dark and therefore she would not come back to the clubhouse with her.
Why?
Bo felt betrayed, she was worried for Lauren, she was desperate trying to figure out if she was in danger or worse, if the doctor forgot about her.
But she was here making friends with The Morrigan and going to parties in places Bo never thought she would be.
-What happened?-she asked herself.
-Problems in heaven, succubus?
The Morrigan's voice got her out of her thoughts while Bo let out a breath, she didn't wanted a fight now, she was tired and she didn't wanted anything else than get home and get drunk with Kenzi who will hear her problems and to tell her after that Lauren was stupid for not coming with her.
-Let me alone, Morrigan.-said Bo trying to get out of The Morrigan's building.
-I see...your precious Lauren chose the dark and not you, right?
Bo frowned before trying to attack The Morrigan who only got her hand up stopping Bo's attack and throwing her to the other side of the building.
Just at the same time that Lauren got out of the office.
-Bo!-shouted Lauren running to her.
-Bitch...-said Bo looking at The Morrigan.
-No, Bo, I'm not the bitch here.-said The Morrigan.-...you think that you girlfriend that is not your girlfriend anymore go back to you like nothing happened after the way you treated her like a dirt to put the wolf or the valkyrie before her. Is that the way you treat all your lovers?
-It's not like that.-said Bo.
-And if it's not enough you ask all that from her after months without looking for her, do you know why Dyson is looking for her now?-laughed The Morrigan.-...because he saw Lauren when we were kidnapping her and he did nothing to stop us.
-Shut up!-shouted Bo.-...that's not true, Dyson never would let Lauren behind.
The Morrigan laughed while Lauren looked to the floor and Bo could feel her own need to kill that woman but was fighting against it.
-But he did it...-said The Morrigan.-...I could tell you everything you need to know succubus, but I'm gonna let the doctor her the honor, good luck trying to clean your own mess.
The Morrigan walked away leaving Lauren to help Bo to get comfortable in other office while the succubus looked at her trying to get Lauren to agree with her about what The Morrigan was saying.
-Lauren?-asked Bo locking eyes with her.
-Wait...-said Lauren.-...let me close the door.
She didn't waited for Bo's response while she got up and closed the door getting only a moment to compose herself.
So this is the moment...
She though of many ways to tell Bo everything but nothing compared to this. Bo was still waiting for her and for a moment Lauren allowed herself to think that they were back home, only the two of them and without all this problems.
Away from her own choices and from the pain she had suffered with the Fae.
-Lauren...Dyson would never...-started Bo.
-No?-asked Lauren.-...really?
The next thing Bo saw was a video, a security video from one of the restaurants they passed in their way home. In that video she saw two mens kidnapping Lauren and some girl while she and Dyson passed the with their car and the wolf turned briefly looking at Lauren.
-Its impossible for Dyson, a wolf, couldn't see or smell me, Bo.-said Lauren.-...he saw me getting kidnapped and he let me there.
-No...he...-murmured Bo unable to say anything.-..why?
-For you.-said Lauren.-...he was scared of the possibility that if you saw me, you would rescue me.
And of course she would rescue her, if she knew Lauren was in danger she wouldn't had hesitated to save her without caring about Dyson or wathever that was by her side.
-Lauren I'll...I'll talk to him.-said Bo.-...and he would ask for forgiveness...
-It doesn't matter anymore.-said Lauren.-...this is one of the many reasons for me not going back with you and let me tell you something else, before you said that I could return to my real family...what family, Bo?
-Me and Kenzi...-said Bo without thinking.-...Dyson, Hale, Tamsin, Trick...even Vex.
Lauren laughed at her words making Bo confused, she didn't understood pain filled laugh and the nearly teared eyes.
-That's my family?-asked Lauren.-...then we talk about them.
-Lauren...-said Bo trying to stop her.
-No, come on...-insisted Lauren.-...let's start with Trick.
Bo breathed, something told her that this wont be a easy talk she could see it in Lauren's body language, in her eyes.
It was like she hated them.
-Trick respect your work.-said Bo.
-But he doesn't respect me.-said Lauren.-...how many times I'm only the mere human? How many times he said our relationship wouldn't work? How many times he played with everyone?
-He only tries to protect me.-said Bo
-Well, it seem that protect you always means hurt me.-frowned Lauren.-...next one, Hale.
-He's been your friend for years.-said Bo.
Lauren punched the table frustrated while she pushed herself from Bo unable to understand how Bo could be that stupid.
-Hale started to treat me differently when he learn that I was the other one fighting for your love.-said Lauren.-...and when he became Ash...well, I think everybody knows how that ended.
Bo looked down, she couldn't say anything against what Lauren was saying about Trick and Hale, the two of them didn't treated Lauren well over the years and now she could remember moments when she let them treat the doctor that way.
-And Dyson?-laughed Lauren.-...noble Dyson who let me alone when I needed him for his fear to lose you.
-Lauren I promise I will talk to him about that.-said Bo trying to stop her again.
-Or Tamsin?-said Lauren ignoring her.-..why didn't you tell me about the kiss you shared with her during your invitation to the Dawning?
Bo's face paled while she remembered the moment when Tamsin kissed her and she couldn't do nothing to stop it, she never though that the valkyrie would tell Lauren nothing about that.
And that kiss happened in the same week that Lauren broke up with her.
Wait a moment...
-You broke up with me for that?-asked Bo.-...because Lauren, that was nothing, she kissed me and that's all, I promise that's the only thing that happened between us.
-Oh Bo, believe me when I tell you that this is not the only reason.-said Lauren.-...but now let me continue with my family, who's next? Ah yes...Kenzi.
-Kenzi is Kenzi, Lauren.-said Bo.-...she never thinks what she says...
-Kenzi is the woman I envy in this damned world, Bo and she hates me for loving you.-murmured Lauren.
Bo forced herself to look at the floor trying to put her thoughts in order, Lauren started full of hate but now she was more calm, she looked almost resigned and with more pain reflected in her eyes.
-She doesn't hate you for loving me.-said Bo.-...she doesn't want to be less that you or your brilliant mind.
-If I could I would change with her everything I have and I know for a little of her freedom.-murmured Lauren.
And the way that she said it was enough to break Bo's heart because there was nothing more tragic than see the freedom desire in Lauren's eyes.
A freedom that she couldn't give her.
-Lauren...-said Bo.-...you don't have to change anything, like I said before I could fight for you, claim...
-Claim me...-said Lauren.-...I know Bo and I know you would do it without a doubt but I don't want that.
-Then what do you want?-asked Bo desperated for an answer.
Lauren looked at her then with a smile that she only wear when the answer was obvious.
-Much more than I can ask for, Bo.-said Lauren.-...I wanted to heal Nadia and failed, I wanted to be accepted and failed, I wanted respect and look what that turned out and I...I wanted you, Bo, I love you and I can't have you.
-Why!?-shouted Bo.-...we fighted against The Garuda, against the light and the dark, you love me and I love you!
-We're not ready.-said Lauren.
The doctor had to look other way to stand in the pain of her own answer, she didn't wanted to admit it but the truth was that she and Bo weren't ready for a relationship, no in this moment with everything changing and not when she didn't know her own destiny.
Bo breathed, she didn't wanted that answer, she didn't knew a lot of things but she did know that she loved Lauren like mad, it was like even in the end the only thing that she could see clearly was Lauren and she didn't understand why Lauren was against them now.
-Bo, we love each other yes, but that's not enough.-said Lauren trying to stop the tears.-...I can accept you nature but...but when you mix feelings.
-...Tamsin was a mistake.-reassured Bo walking to Lauren and grabbing her hands.-..and Dyson...Lauren I'm not in love with him.
-Then you use him only for sex?-asked Lauren.
Bo didn't knew what to say, she didn't what to tell Lauren that she was luring him for sex because she though about the monster that would make her.
The next time I'll talk to him...I have to end that too...
-Bo you're not ready to make me your priority, not with all this problems or people who need your full attention...-said Lauren.-...and I'm not part of your family, I'm a mere human, a slave.
-Don't say that, Lauren.-said Bo.-...Maybe I have a lot in my mind lately but that means nothing, when the day ends you and Kenzi are my priority besides, I'm sure they will accept you like you are...like the woman I love.
Lauren gave her a sad smile, all in Bo was promises and beautiful words but the truth was another one and she needed to start facing the facts now.
She wasn't the one that Bo needed.
She took Bo's hands with all the love she felt for her and she looked at her eyes letting the tears fall like in that other talk they had when they said "I love you" for the first time.
The first time she knew she would never be enough for Bo.
-You have a life before you, Bo.-said Lauren.-...one life that is full of adventures and where you would realize everything about yourself, your past, present and future were you go from here, you will live fantastic adventure and you will find someone to make you happy.
-You make me happy.-pleaded Bo.-...Lauren, you are...
Lauren kissed her to stop her from saying the words, Bo couldn't say that to her because this wasn't the moment, because even if she said or really felt her words they couldn't have a relationship now.
-You too...said Lauren against her lips.-...and maybe this is not the moment for us, Bo, but someday...someday you will be mine like I want to.
-Lauren...-tried Bo.
-Go, Bo.-said Lauren.-...its the best...for everyone.
Bo looked at her for minutes trying to say something to stop this from being the goodbye she felt that was because she was sure that if she walk away now then she will never see Lauren again.
And her heart couldn't take that
-Is not the best for me.-murmured Bo before looking at Lauren.-...but if this what you want, then I let you go.
She pushed Lauren and walked away from the doctor unable to stand her own pain despise her mind telling her that this is what Lauren wanted and she wouldn't be the one to stand in the middle.
She had more important things to do.
Lauren looked at her while the tears broke her normally calm features and Bo walked away from her and her life forever.
-Doc...
Bruce put his arms around her while Lauren put her head in his chest and cried making the dark fae the only spectator to her pain while he tried his best to console her touching her hair and kissing her head.
-This will go away, Lauren...-murmured Bruce in her hair.
Lauren cried waiting for Bruce's words to be true while the pain made her weak and unprotected.
Naked in front of a unsure future.
-Lost Girl-
Kenzi was waiting for her when she got home and she could tell that the succubus wasn't for a friend talk making the little human to sit down and wait for her bestfriend to tell her what was wrong.
-I found Lauren...-Bo told her.-...she didn't wanted to come back with me.
And for some reason Kenzi couldn't blame the doctor for her choice, she knew that Bo didn't know all of the details but even with that she assumed that her bestie knew that something was wrong in her relationship with the doctor.
-She said that we're not ready for a relationship.-said Bo.-...that she wasn't accepted here, that she can accept my biology but she couldn't accept if I get feelings involved...she thinks that I'm in love with Dyson or Tamsin...or both.
-And is not true?-murmured Kenzi.
Bo looked at her before sit in the couch, she was tired phisically and more mentally, she only wanted to cry and Kenzi wasn't helping.
Did I make her think that?
-I'm not saying you're the worse because I think that Lauren should have told you this long time ago.-said Kenzi.-...but Bo the truth is that we never treated Lauren like one of our own.
-Kenzi...she left us.-Bo said frustrated.-...she left us for Taft...she told me that she loved me! Past tense!
The look in Kenzi's face made Bo stop talking, she could see that Kenzi didn't understand her and chose Lauren's side making the succubus angry.
-Don't gave me that look.-said Bo.-...now you take her side? When you always looked at her like nothing?
That words hurt Kenzi, Bo could see it in her eyes and the succubus wanted to erase them but it was too late they were already told and despise of everything Bo could bring herself to deny that accusations.
-You're right, I always seen her like someone who wasn't part of this family.-said Kenzi.-..but, do you know that she saved Dyson from Taft? Do you know that she said she loved you to try and save you from that monster? Do you know what he had planned for you and Tamsin if she didn't do what she did? Without her you would be death now or worse and maybe that's what was made me change my thoughts about her with the fact that she was being chased by the Fae only for being human but despite of that she was phoning me and Dyson everyday worried sick about you.
Kenzi's words made Bo think about what the two humans had to endure without her here to protect them and she walked to Kenzi trying to hug her only to be stopped by her friend.
-Sometimes you forget that we're not like you, Bo Bo.-said Kenzi.-...we've been chased, sentenced to death by the Fae and now by the Una Mens and despite of that we're here, for you.
Bo looked her walk to her room without waiting for her answer making her think about everything that had happened, the truth about Kenzi's rudeness and the pain in Lauren's soul.
A soul she really wanted to heal.
-I have one more chance to do it.-said Bo to herself while she got to her room.-..one more chance.
She only hoped that Lauren was strong enough to hear her for the last time.
-Lost Girl-
It was late when Lauren heard someone knocking at her door so she opened with caution revealing the last person she would think of being here.
-Bo?
In front of her, Bo was looking at her with some insecurity and fear, something that Lauren recognized very well and the reason for her to smile and encourage Bo to get inside.
-Can I...?-murmured Bo.
-Of course.-said Lauren.
Lauren let Bo in while the succubus got in the house trying to say everything she wanted to tell the doctor but not being able to do anything but fight the desire that was consuming her.
-Well?-asked Lauren.
-I wanted to...talk.-murmured Bo.-...but I never thought I would be that nervous.
-You're not good in talking, Bo...no with me anyways.-smiled Lauren.
The doctor took her hand and sat with her in the couch looking at her eyes with the trust that Bo nearly forgot.
And just like that, Bo saw the truth in Kenzi's words.
I failed them...
-I'm sorry, so sorry for not being here when you needed me the most.-said Bo.-...I'm sorry for not being what you wanted, for not fight harder for you, for not make the others see what you mean to me.
-Bo...-murmured Lauren.
-I love you, Lauren.-said Bo.-...and maybe that words coming from me are nothing to you now and I don't know when I will be strong or mature enough for you but this love...I would never deny this love.
-I know...-said Lauren.
-And I know that right now I'm not what you need...but someday I will be, when this ends and I get all my life back.-said Bo.-...when I turn back to be the same woman you love.
Lauren smiled stroking her cheek getting rid of a lonely tear running down her face while she understood the succubus making the bond between them stronger.
Just like the passion and the atraccion were.
-I be here for you, you know that, right?-said Lauren.-...whatever it is, Bo, I'll be there for you.
Bo smiled, she understood what Lauren said but the pain of not having her like she wanted was stronger and worse.
-I...I say the same, Lauren.-said Bo.-...whatever it is o whenever you are, if you need me I'll be there, I promise.
Lauren smiled, she knew about Bo's promises but she loved her only for trying because she knew that Bo had a good heart and losing her in this way was killing her like it was killing Bo.
-I think...is better if I go.-said Bo getting rid of the tears.-...I only wanted you to know that I accept what you do and I understand you have to do it.
-Thank you.-said Lauren closing her eyes.-...really thanks, Bo.
Bo smiled kissing the doctor one more time while her heart screamed at her for not let go of this feeling even when she was trying to hard to let her go.
It was time to separate because this wasn't their moment and she had to accept that.
But someday it will be...
-Till next time, Lauren.-said Bo.
-Till next time, Bo.-said Lauren.
And just like that their story ended for now, with Bo walking away from Lauren Lewis to focus at her new life without her and with Lauren walking to her nigthstand to grab a little box, the same one that had a pendant that she bought for Bo long time ago.
Thank you for givin me the freedom to love...
And I do...forever..
Yours,
Lauren
-Someday, Bo, this will be forever...-murmured Lauren.
In the meantime, they would have to wait.