This idea was inspired by 2wingo, who reminded me of the power of the panda lily. If you have any ideas, I'll gladly steal them and morph them into something completely unrecognizable.

Flowers for Katara

"Flowers," Iroh loudly declared, "are the singular most thoughtful gift you can give a woman…especially if she is mad at you about something."

Zuko followed his uncle through the palace's massive conservatory, touring the vast array of exotic blossoms and botanical wonders cultivated from around the globe. A rainbow sea of silky-soft petals and dark, hearty succulents undulated in the carefully climate-controlled room. Scents ranging from sharp, spicy, tangy, sweet, sultry and more tickled his nose and lingered in his olfactory senses.

"Every bloom, every shrub and piece of greenery, every weed and wildflower, has its own special meaning, its own unique personality. Much in the same way as people do. What you choose to give your wife will reflect not only your personal choice, but also the way you see her, and how you wish to complement her attributes."

They strolled through the aisles, casually inspecting the inventory. Each section was marked with a sign indicating the types of plants in that area, and each plant sported an identifying tag. Families and dignitaries who had curried favor with the Fire Lord often received space within the greenhouse as a gift, and various signs indicated this, as well.

"Choose wisely, Zuko," Iroh intoned sagely. "Your crown is depending on it."

"Okaaay…" Zuko drawled a little skeptically. "So I'll just…er, take a bunch of those." He gestured at a group of vivid fiery-orange orchids.

The Dragon of the West glanced over and shrieked. "Are you joking? Do you want her to divorce you?"

The Fire Lord scowled. "What? They're…" Zuko didn't want to say pretty, because that would be admitting to some decidedly unmanly tastes, and he'd received enough jibing about his sexuality from Sokka "…serviceable."

"Those are wild lava orchids! People on the outlying Fire Nation islands leave them on the graves of their families. If you give them to Katara, it'll mean you want to see her family dead!"

Zuko thought of Sokka again, but shook that shiny thought away with only the tiniest hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"Really, Zuko, try a little harder," Iroh huffed.

"If you know so much, why don't you pick?"

"Because this is your torture—I mean, trial," he replied. "Now, choose."

Zuko heaved a sigh and studied the rows of flower pots lined up on the worktables. An ethereal glow around a tufty white flower caught his eye. "How about those?"

"Ghost carnations? You can't be serious." Iroh furrowed a brow. "They're given to the terminally ill—the strong scent drives their souls away from the mortal realm and into the Spirit Realm. Absolutely not."

His mouth thinned. "Fine." The gold glint that drew his attention toward the far table made him tug his uncle's sleeve. "What about those yellow ones?"

"Golden-leaf daffodils," Iroh remarked, then slowly shook his head in pity. "No. They bring bad luck. Pick another."

Zuko scooped up the nearest flower pot. "These?"

"Puce-striped posies? They're used for treating gas. Katara will think you have a problem with fart—"

"Okay, I get it." Zuko interrupted tetchily. After all, lovely, perfect Katara never, ever farted. Annoyed now, he randomly pointed. "How about those?"

"Indigo heart ivy? Well, it's nice as foliage, but it's poisonous, and it's a parasite."

…And on and on they went, around and around the flowerbeds. Zuko was unable to exhaust his uncle's knowledge about the morbid properties of each specimen he picked.

"Blue lilies? Choking hazard."

"Dragon-scale chrysanthemums? They signify ever-lasting itchiness."

"Silver-backed morning glories give you eye strain."

"Brown-spotted toad slippers? Zuko, those are just plain ugly."

"Enough!" The Fire Lord blasted, thoroughly fed up. "What is this gardener thinking? Why on earth do we have all these…these depressing plants in our conservatory?"

Iroh rolled his eyes at the heavens in search of an answer.

And the heavens actually came through this time.

"I think I just figured that out."

Zuko looked up. Above the section they stood in was a sign in dour black script.

Mai's garden. Enter at your own risk.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Zuko uttered in disgust. "I'll get Katara a puppy instead."