Intelligence

Zuko paused in the doorway, taking a deep breath. He really didn't have a choice. Who else knew his wife better?

"Sokka?"

The Water Tribesman looked up from the book he was studying. It seemed he was always in the palace library these days…probably because it was the one place Azula, Ty Lee, and the bevy of other eligible girls seeking a husband (or arm candy) refused to seek him in.

Not that they hated books or were adverse to education or any other reason so utterly inane. Sokka just happened to be a master at tucking himself away behind the tall stacks, building book forts and driving the royal librarians to distraction.

"Whaddup?" he asked distractedly, still reading his book.

"Hey. So…um," The Fire Lord did not know how he was going to talk about Katara's sex life with her brother.

Not her sex life with her brother. Zuko carefully reworded that in his already discombobulated head.

"What are you reading?" he asked, stalling for time.

"This? Oh, it…uh…" Sokka closed the book. "Nothing important."

But the Firebender caught a glimpse of the title on the cover. "You're reading about Fire Nation military campaigns? Why?"

"Oh, well, you know…I have an interest in…uh…history…and stuff…"

Zuko scrutinized the high color rushing into his brother-in-law's cheeks. "You're gathering intelligence, aren't you?"

Sokka's color deepened.

"Why on earth…I mean, the war's over! We made sure it was. Do you really think you need to study battlefield plans and war tactics? You think we're going to have another war within our lifetimes?"

"Hey, you never know," Sokka said defensively. "And the Spirit Library beneath the desert wasn't exactly well stocked with information about the Fire Nation." He huffed, accusation sharp in his eyes. He added, "I just need to feel prepared in case…" His sentence trailed off.

Zuko let the matter go. Sokka was only being Sokka, after all: cautious, pessimistic and ultra-paranoid.

"So what did you come in here to talk to me about?"

"Oh." The reason for the Fire Lord's visit rushed back to the embarrassing forefront of his mind. "See, I was wondering…about Katara…"

"We all wonder about Katara sometimes," Sokka bemoaned.

"Yeah, well, the thing is…" he cleared his throat "…she's been…uh…kinda cold lately."

The scholarly warrior looked unimpressed. "She's a Waterbender. Get used to it."

"I mean, she's been frigid. Standoffish. Not receptive."

Sokka raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh…?"

"Shewonthavesexwithme," Zuko blurted on a rush of breath, and for a moment, he didn't think Sokka had heard or understood him.

He had.

Katara's older brother eased slowly back into his chair, crossed one ankle over his knee, and folded his arms over his chest. Zuko realized just how much the young man had grown in his time here—he was broad and angular, his bulging muscles actually pose-worthy now. Yes, this was a man who, despite having no bending abilities, could kick Zuko's lily-white ass up and down the palace halls if need be.

Sokka's face was unreadable, his normally keen eyes dulled to impassivity. "Sex." He stated it flatly. "You came here to talk to me—the brother of your wife, my little sister—about sex?"

"You know her best! I didn't want to ask, but we have to start having babies and lots of them before Azula starts producing her own brood of hellions and showing me up and making me lose face and the crown and—"

Sokka held up a hand to cut off Zuko's panicked tirade. "Stop. Right there."

Even though he looked relaxed and settled, the Firebender knew the young warrior could be on his feet and tearing him a new one in the blink of an eye. He held his breath, waiting for the inevitable blow.

A painfully long pause was followed by Sokka asking, "It's always about sex with you, isn't it?"

"What? No. Absolutely not. I love Katara."

"Do you? Really?" The Water Tribe man sent him a hard look. He reminded Zuko instantly of the old headmaster at the Firebending Academy. "Then why is this such a big deal to you?"

"I told you. Azula is currently second in line for the throne. Without an heir, the title of Fire Lord will fall to her if something were to happen to me. And with her living in the palace, something could definitely happen to me. Plus, if she has children before I do…"

"It'll make you look impotent. Yeah, I get that." Sokka scowled. "So I say again, it's always about sex with you, isn't it?"

"It's not about the sex!" Zuko repeated. "Have you been listening to me? This is a crisis of…of national security!"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't, but it sounded more important that way.

But Katara's brother simply pinched his lips together and stared him down.

Zuko frowned. "You're not going to help me with this, are you?"

"You're the only one who can help you. And this is something you need to be talking to your wife about, not me."

"But she hates me right now," Zuko lamented.

"And you're wondering why?"

He balked. "I don't see what I've done wrong."

"That," Sokka said, turning back to his book, "is more than half of your problem. Now go away."

At a loss, Zuko left the library. Obviously Sokka had been hanging out with his uncle too much. Just like all those times Iroh had tried to impart wisdom to his nephew, he got the sense Sokka was saying more than he was actually saying; but what, Zuko could not decipher.

Damn wise people and their unhelpful knowledge. Why didn't they ever just come out and say what they meant? Why did they insist on cloaking all their so-called helpful knowledge in riddles and roundabout proverbs?

Well, obviously there would be no help from Katara's brother. The Fire Lord decided he'd have to start getting advice from more…unorthodox sources.