AN: Sorry for the long delay but life didn't give me a chance to actually work on this fic. But I'm back! So I hope you'll have fun with this.

Chapter 11

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now concentrate on your reiatsu and try to push it down. No reiatsu leaking out. Compress it. Form it into a tight ball." Toshiro whispered into her ear in a warm voice that calmed her directly.

She did as he said but nothing happened.

"Tosh.." she started but he interrupted her.

"Shh, concentrate."

She tried but it didn't work. When she was ready to give up two big hands were suddenly on around hers. She would recognize these hands everywhere and when he gave hers a light squeeze she knew she couldn't give up.

He had done so much for her. She wouldn't disappoint him.

With renewed vigor she tried again and this time she felt a change. It was like the two swords in her hands were pulled towards each other. Following her instinct she brought her hands together and it felt like the katana melted together until there was only one left.

"That's my girl." Renji whispered into her ear from behind and she heard the pride in his voice.

Opening her eyes she was greeted with Toshiro's grinning face.

"Told you you could suppress your reiatsu."

She could feel her own lips pulling up in an answering grin when she was brought back to reality.

"Well done. Now hand me your Zanpakuto again." the Head-Captain said from behind Toshiro.

Gods, did she dislike this old man! He frightened her but it was his authoritative manner that she despised. Couldn't he at least give her a moment to breath?

But she knew that defying him would probably get her killed.

So, with no other choice she stepped out of Renji's arms and in front of the imposing Captain where she held out her sword to him.

He took it and this time he didn't let go. After a moment of inspecting the now normal looking katana he handed it back.

"Very well. You are all dismissed." and with that he turned and marched off with his Lieutenant trailing behind him.

She was utterly confused.

Everything had happened so fast. Just now she was sitting here alone with Captain Kuchiki and the next thing she knew she was in this strange dark world all alone until she heard Renji. Then he brought her back here where she was told she had manifested her Zanpakuto and was surrounded by people and then the Head-Captain arrived. And... and... it was all too much to comprehend.

"Come on Sweetheart. I'll take you home." Renji said quietly from behind her and all she could do was nod.

Her mind was in chaos and she followed him without conscious thought.

When they entered the Squad 7 grounds something dawned on her and she came to an abrupt halt.

"What's wrong?" Renji asked confused.

How could she have made such a mistake?

"I didn't apologize to Captain Kuchiki." her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears.

She started to turn to get back to the Captain and give him a proper apology but was stopped by his hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. You can do that tomorrow. Come on, you need to get some rest. Everything else can wait."

She didn't want to wait. Captain Kuchiki had been so nice to help her train and all she did was make a mess of his beautiful garden and getting half of the Gotei 13 there. She needed to apologize. Now.

Shaking off his hand she turned and started to run in the general direction of the Kuchiki manor.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

She was in shock obviously.

When she had turned to look at him and spoken he had seen it in her eyes. They had looked completely empty. Her tone was so hollow he felt his heart ache at the sound.

This was not his Tatsuki. The wild little thing that would kick his ass.

And now she was running through the streets of Seireitei. With one shunpo he was in front of her and caught her in his arms. Her momentum was enough to make him stagger but he didn't loose balance.

He thought she would scream for him to let her go, kick him, punch him. But she didn't.

He felt her arms coming around his waist as she buried her face into his chest, her whole body shaking.

Picking her up, he carried her back to his Division and into his quarters. There was no way he would let her stay alone like this.

He sat her down on the couch and took one of the blankets that were hanging over the back and wrapped it around her small form.

She looked so tiny and frail like this. Her knees drawn to her chest, arms wrapped around them with head buried into her knees and her hair falling around her.

She was still in shock and he had no idea how he could get her out of it. For a moment he contemplated calling Rangiku since she was a pro situations like this but he pushed that idea away. Tatsuki wouldn't want anyone to see her like this especially after everything that had happened this night.

So what should he do? Talk to her? Hold her? Maybe a drink? At least he could use one.

He suddenly had an idea.

"I'll be right back, Sweetheart."

Hurrying into his bathroom he started the hot water and let it fill his big tub. That was one of the things he loved about being a Captain. You had very comfortable quarters with your own bath. And since this was Komamura's former Division and therefor his quarters it came with a really big tub.

When he had first entered this Division he was sure he would fail. The members were still grieving their beloved Captain's death, Tetsuzaemon had left them too and he had no idea what to do.

They were polite and showed him respect but he knew they did it because of his rank and not because they wanted.

It had taken him getting almost killed by a Cero from a Menos to get them. He had taken the direct hit to save 15 of his men which it was aimed for.

He would never forget Kudo's shocked face when his third Seat came to him after killing the giant Hollow.

"Why did you do that, Captain?" he had asked him with sheer disbelieve in his voice.

"Because I won't let anyone of you guys get killed. It's my duty to protect you no matter what." he had crocked before he had lost consciousness thanks to the blood loss.

Pushing these memories away he went back into his living room to find Tatsuki in the exact same position. If he couldn't see her back moving with every breath he would think her dead.

He walked towards her and knelled down before her, stroking her hand.

"How about a hot bath?" he asked her quietly but she gave no reaction.

Sighing he got up and carefully picked her up. She was such a light weight. Zabimaru in his shikai weighted more.

He carried her into his bathroom where he sat her down on the edge of the tube, steam rising up from the hot water.

She just sat there without moving and stared at the floor with an unseeing gaze.

Swallowing hard he knelled down and started to pull her kosode out of the hakama. She didn't protest or do anything else so he undressed her slowly.

It felt so wrong to do this while she was in such a state but he couldn't put her into the water with all her clothes on.

He left her in her bra and panties and was in the process of lifting her into the tub when she finally made a move. Just a small one but it was enough to stop his heart for a second.

She had grabbed his hand and didn't let go of it.

She didn't need to speak for he got the message. Don't leave me alone.

Setting her back down he quickly got out of his shihakusho, leaving him in his boxers before he picked her up and stepped into the hot water.

Her skin was soft against his as he placed her between the V of his thighs. Her back pressed against his chest with her head resting just under his chin he relaxed a little and just wrapped his arms around her to hold her tight.

The water was soothing and he felt himself calming down with every minute that passed. It felt like they were in some kind of bubble, in their own little world where there was nothing else. He closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of her head, inhaling her unique fragrance.

"It was so dark." she suddenly whispered and he had to strain to hear her.

Taking a deep breath he pulled her even tighter against himself.

"I know."

"I couldn't see. Just hear chirping everywhere."

She didn't move a muscle while speaking and he had a feeling she wasn't even aware she was talking aloud.

"I was so afraid I started running but I crashed against trees and stumbled over things. I was screaming for help but no one answered."

He could see her in his mind. Running around in panic, screaming desperately and it broke his heart a little.

"I panicked and collapsed to the ground."

Gods, she must have been scared to death.

"That's when I heard your voice."

She was silent again for a long time and he didn't know what to say. So he just held her.

He tried to imagine what it must have felt like for her to be trapped inside her Inner World in complete darkness without knowing where she was. It was a horrible thought.

He wanted to help her, protect her, to never have her experience this again but he knew he couldn't. If she wanted to use her Zanpakuto's abilities she had to go back into her Inner World.

But her Zanpakuto was a mystery to him. And the old man knew more than he told them.

Why could Ichigo, Rukia and he touch it but everyone else got burned?

And why had it manifested in it's shikai when she was obviously able to seal it?

Usually a Zanpakuto only manifested in it's shikai if the wielder had too much reiatsu that he can't control like Ichigo and Zaraki.

It didn't make any sense.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

His strong arms around her gave her a feeling of safety and she started to relax. When she had started to talk she had concentrated on his heartbeat against her back. The steady rhythm helped her to not get swallowed up by the memories.

Now it was silent again but she didn't want silence. Silence made her think and she didn't want to think any more.

Acting on impulse to dispel the silence she started to quietly sing the first song that came to her mind.

"Standing all alone

and no one has a clue

All she want to know

is what to say and do"

Renji went completely silent behind her, she couldn't even hear his breathing.

"She's standing in the hallway

when others are outside

She's dreaming of a life

where she don't has to hide"

She stopped singing. The rest of the song way too sad for her right now.

Sighing she completely relaxed into him, the water moving around her.

He still didn't say anything and she stared up at the wooden ceiling, trying not to think.

They stayed like that for so long she couldn't say if it were minutes or hours. But the water was slowly getting cold and despite the warmth he radiated goosebumps started to appear on her arms.

Without a word he moved one of his arms under her knees and picked her up.

She usually didn't like to be babied like this but somehow she didn't mind him doing so. At least not right now.

Her arms came around his neck as he got up and carried her out of the tub. He sat her down on the edge of the tub, took a fluffy towel and wrapped it around her before he took one himself which he slung around his waist.

She just sat there staring after him when he exited the bathroom and went into his bedroom, leaving the door open for her to see him rummaging through his dresser, the tattoos on his back glistering with droplets of water. The moon shining brightly through the windows bathed the room in a warm glow.

He turned back around but stopped and just looked at her. His chocolate eyes burning into her dark blue ones. Gods, he looked breathtaking. His long hair falling down freely, his big strong hands holding some clothes, the towel loosely wrapped around his lean hips. And his tattoos. Did she love them. She had always been a fan of tattooed men but never in her life had she seen someone with so many that still looked like they belonged there. They looked like they were a part of him.

He took a step forward and she had to swallow hard to keep herself from drooling as the black lines moved with each muscle he used.

When he was almost at the bathroom door she shook her head violently.

We are friends. Just friends. Nothing more. We said we were friends and friends don't have thoughts like that about the other.

He was suddenly kneeling in front of her, looking at her with worry.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?"

Oh God, his voice! She had forgotten about his voice. The deep baritone that always sent a tingle down her spine.

Friends! Friends! Friends!

She repeated in her head to remind herself.

"Nothing." she said with a firm voice but didn't look him in the eyes. Better to be save.

"Okay. Here." he handed her a light yellow shirt and some dark blue shorts before he got back up and left her again but this time he closed the door behind himself.

Looking down at the clothes in her hands she remembered the first time he had given her something of his clothing. She remembered him laughing like an idiot at the sight of her swallowed up in his kosode the morning after he had found her. It felt like it had happened years ago instead of just two months.

Sighing she got up and let the towel fall to the floor, leaving her in her wet underwear. She stripped out of them and pulled the shirt over her head. As always with his clothes it was way too big for her, the hem reaching her knees and the sleeves covering her elbows.

The shorts luckily had strings to secure them or otherwise they would have fallen off of her.

She felt like a five year old dressing in her daddy's clothes but it was okay. She looked around in search for a hairband and found some in the cabinet above the sink. Pulling her long hair up into a messy bun she opened the door and stepped into his bedroom.

He wasn't there anymore and she went into the living room where she found him standing in front of one of the windows, his bare back facing her. He only wore some loose black pants, his feet bare and hair still down.

At the sound of her feet on the wooden floor he turned his head slightly to look at her over his shoulder.

"Feeling better?" he said quietly and turned back to look outside.

Did she feel better? Compared to how she had felt after the events a few hours ago, yes. She had banned all thoughts about what had happened in her Inner World.

But now she was struck with thoughts of him stalking over to her, kissing her, scooping her up in his strong arms and pressing her against the wall. His hands gliding over her skin, caressing her, her legs wrapping around his waist as he kissed a trail down her neck.

Shaking her head violently and fighting the deep blush on her cheeks she walked into his kitchen.

"Yeah. I just need a drink." she said and started to rummage through his cabinets in search of the Sake.

There it was! Grabbing the bottle she took a swig straight from it. The liquid burnt slightly on it's way down her throat but she welcomed it. Alcohol would help her keep these inappropriate thoughts at bay.

What was wrong with her? For eight weeks she had had no problem to keep her hands away from him. Okay, it wasn't always easy but she had succeeded.

So why was the sight of him suddenly enough to give her these thoughts?

"You intend to drinking that all alone or do you share it?"

She turned to see him leaned against the kitchen entrance, arms akimbo over his bare chest.

The next round of dirty thoughts tried to creep into her mind but she banned them by taking another swig before she held the bottle out to him.

He walked over to her, took it and drank straight from it as well.

She could feel the alcohol slowly taking effect thanks to her not eating all day and she leaned back against the counter, looking up at him.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

He was in trouble. Very big trouble.

When she had started to quietly sing his heart had stopped. Her voice had been so beautiful even when the words she had sang were sad. He hadn't known she could sing but when he heard her he wanted her to never stop.

When he had turned to bring her some clothes their eyes had met and he had seen the desire in them. He wanted to give in and just scoop her up in his arms and kiss her, but he couldn't. They were friends. Just friends. And friends didn't kiss.

Now she stood in his kitchen wearing one of his shirts that swallowed her up completely. It should have looked ridiculous but it didn't. It looked sexy as hell.

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms to keep them from reaching out at her and just watched her as she found a bottle of his Sake and take a big swig.

She was facing away from him and he doubted she knew he was there.

Her neck was showing with her hair piled up in a bun and he fought the urge to step behind her and kiss the soft skin he knew was there.

He needed a drink as well or else he would do something he would regret.

"You intend to drinking that all alone or do you share it?"

She turned around but didn't look him in the face. He couldn't see her eyes and was somehow thankful for it. She took another swig before holding the bottle out to him.

Stepping into his kitchen he stopped in front of her and took the offered bottle. The alcohol tingling his throat as he gulped it down. When he lowered the bottle he saw her leaning against the counter, her hands gripping the edge while she looked up at him.

A slight pink adorned her cheeks and her eyes were hooded, the alcohol already effecting her.

Silence filled the room and he took another drink.

"You know, nobody ever told me how this all started. I mean, Ichigo and Rukia, your friendship with the Carrot-Top." she suddenly said and he looked down at her to see curiosity shining in her eyes along with something else.

He handed her the bottle and hopped onto the counter next to him.

"They never told you?" he asked confused. He had thought Ichigo or Orihime had told her.

"Ichigo just told me a short version. Mostly about how Rukia one day just stood in his room and he turned into a shinigami in order to protect his family and her. Then he went to rescue her here. And after that came Aizen. That's mostly all."

He sighed. That was typical Ichigo to just tell the main facts.

"Okay. But it's a long story."

"I have no other plans for tonight." she grinned and took another drink before leaning forward to give him the now almost empty bottle.

"Well, back at the time I was the Lieutenant of Squad 6 and..."

And so he told her the whole story. How he tried to kill Ichigo, about Rukia's death sentence. Aizen's schemes and his fight against his former Captain. How they went to Hueco Mundo and fight against the Arrancar. How they switched the real Karakura with a fake one and the final fight against Aizen.

Around the part of the destruction of Sokyoku he retrieved another bottle from the cabinet and by the time he was finished six other empty ones were lined up between them.

He was completely wasted by now and when he looked over at the spot where she had sat the whole time it was empty.

"Tatsuki?" he slurred and looked around.

"Down here." she slurred back and when he looked down he saw her sitting on the floor with her back against the cabinet. Her long legs were stretched out in front of her and her head leaned back.

"What are you doing there?" he asked confused as his brain had stopped producing coherent thoughts about two bottles ago.

"It was too high up there. You know, for a giant like you it's easy to cope with heights but when you're only half as tall as the rest of humanity it isn't easy. You have no idea how degri...degro...degra...how humiliating it is if you have to ask for help while grocery shopping because you can't reach half the shelves." she ranted and he couldn't stop laughing at the mental image of her standing on her tiptoes trying to reach up a shelf.

"Don't laugh. That isn't funny. Did you ever try to look at your surroundings from the perspective of someone way smaller? The world looks much bigger that way."

He thought about that for a moment before he slid down from the counter and got down on his knees in front of her.

"What are you doing, baka?"

"Looking at the world from your perspective." he grinned when she tried to give him an evil look which failed and just looked adorable.

"I'm not that small!" she protested and got up to stand before him on unsteady feet with her hands stemmed into her sides.

He just grinned at her when they came face to face. She looked so cute with that pout on her face.

"Now, let's see what it looks like."

He looked around and had to admit that everything really did look much bigger from down here.

She smiled when she obviously saw his shocked face and an I've-told-you-so look had entered her eyes.

Never admitting defeat he quickly got up and flash-stepped behind her. His arms wrapped around her small waist he lifted her up so she was eye level with him.

"How about you look at the world from my perspective?" he laughed when all she did was giggle and squirm.

"Wow! Be glad you don't suffer from vertigo or your life would be a real pain in the ass." she laughed and he couldn't help but join in.

"While you're up there, how about you grab us some of the chocolate?"

He turned so she faced the large shelf that stood right next to the entrance, lifting her a little higher.

"Chocolate? You've got chocolate here and didn't tell me earlier?" she chided and stretched in his arms to search for it.

"Forgot about it. To your right. The blue box."

She found it and he walked over to the counter where she took another bottle of Sake with her free hand.

Having everything they needed he walked into his living room and sat her back down, taking a hold of her shoulders when she swayed momentarily.

How he was still mostly steady on his feet was mystery to him.

When she regained her balance or what was left of it he let go of her and lay down on the couch.

She placed both items on the table and turned around, one brow raising as she looked down at his sprawled out form.

"Oi, move it."

"Nope. My home, my couch. Take the other one." he grinned up at her.

"You know I don't like that one. And I'm a guest."

"I know and you're not a guest. You're wearing my clothes, drinking my Sake and using my tub. Sorry, but you're inventory."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Inventory?

Well, he had asked for this.

Smiling sweetly she sat down and made herself comfortable. On his stomach.

He didn't even protest instead he reached for the bottle and took a swig.

She was already completely drunk and her mind was fuzzy. But she didn't care. She had fun and that was all she cared for right now.

So she took the bottle from him and drank.

She leaned against the back of the couch and closed her eyes to stop the slight spinning of the room.

"When do you think Ichigo and Rukia will finally realize that they love each other?" she suddenly asked without really knowing where that thought came from.

He moved slightly under her before answering.

"At the rate they are going right now, never. They can't live without the other but don't realize that."

"Yeah. You should have seen Ichigo when he had lost his power after Aizen and he couldn't see her anymore. He was a mess for over a year."

"Tell me about it. Rukia was like a zombie. Doing her duty but nothing else. Even her brother came to me because he was worried."

She sighed and took another sip.

"We should do something about that."

"Already tried. They are just too dumb." he said while grabbing the bottle from her.

"What did you try?"

"Getting them into awkward situations, telling them straight on to go and get a room. Okay, everyone tells them that."

"Hm, how about we get them wasted and put them into a closet and lock it?" she grinned.

He laughed and the movement made her jump up and down on his stomach.

"That is so crazy it might actually work. But how do we get them to drink? They both rarely do it."

She thought about it for a while.

"How about we tell Ichigo about Karin and Toshiro and get him to drink to forget about it?"

"How do you know about Toshiro and her?"

"I'm not blind. Everyone with two working brain cells can see it."

It had been five years ago when she had found Karin crying on a bench near the football field.

At first she had thought the girl was crying because of Ichigo leaving for Soul Society. But than she had seen the star-like clip the girl had held and it had dawned her.

On her 17th birthday last year that the girl finally told her some details in her drunken state.

Toshiro and her had known each other for years and had developed a deep friendship. She had told her that she had slowly started to fall for him with every visit. But she had never acted on her feelings, knowing he only saw her as friend. And then the day came he left. He had told her he wouldn't be able to see her again with no threat around but he would never forget her. And then he had given her his clip, kissed her forehead and vanished.

Karin hadn't cried but she had seen the girl fighting the tears. Even years later she had still loved him.

And then she had seen Toshiro not once looking away from her when he had brought her and Orihime here.

"Well, luckily for Toshiro it seems that Ichigo has less working brain cells." Renji laughed and she joined in.

Ichigo really was dense. And blind.

"So we will tell him and get him drunk so he makes a move on Rukia." she summarized and opened her eyes to look down at him.

He was still lying on his back but his arms were crossed behind his head and his eyes were closed.

"No telling him about these two. I don't want to have to go between them when both go Bankai on each other. " he yawned.

"You think they would do that?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Absolutely. Ichigo is still overprotective and Toshiro has a bad temper even though he rarely shows it. But I can't even say I wouldn't understand Ichigo. I mean, she's his baby sister."

"Yeah, but that baby sister is grown up now." she argued.

"I know. But that doesn't change the fact that she will always be his baby sister."

She couldn't argue that.

AN: For everyone who wants to know what song Tatsuki sings: It's "Chasing Ghosts" by Nomy. I don't know why but every time I listen to that song I see Tatsuki staying behind as everyone else heads out or she is sitting on her bed crying. Crazy, I know but I never said I wasn't.