"She wouldn't want this, PJ." Nick finally said. "She wouldn't want you to do this. She would want you alive, mate. Living. Moving – going on for her."

"I can't go on. Nick, I - " PJ stopped, leaning back against the rocks, one hand against the warm stone, the other leaning on the gun, his grip loosened slightly. Closing his eyes against the dying evening sun, he sighed. "I dream about her. I dream about our wedding. I dream about her being pregnant. I dream – " Nick looked over at him as PJ's voice shuddered to a halt, having to listen very carefully to hear his final words. "Last night I dreamt she had our son. She gave birth to our son, and I – I cut the cord, and I kissed her, and she kissed me back, and our baby, he smiled, he looked up at us, and he smiled – and I had never, ever loved her more than I did at that moment. And then….." PJ's voice broke as he pulled himself to his feet, pacing back and forth. "Then I wake up, I wake up today, and it's like it's happening all over again. She's dead, and I can't - I can't cope with that. I, Nick, I tried. I really did. I get up each morning, I get dressed, I go to work, I catch the bad guys and then I go home. I go home to my empty house, and get into my empty bed and I drink myself to sleep, and then I dream about her. And then this morning – today Nick, TODAY – I go to work because I can't be home, and – and that man, he – he touched her photograph Nick. He picked up the picture and he held it with his dirty hands, and he – do you know what he said? Do you have any idea what he said Nick?"

Nick stayed silent, knowing that PJ had to get it out, that PJ needed to talk, because the pain was doing so much damage and the words needed to be said.

"That man asked me what I would do if 'Blondie' was shot. If the woman in my picture was shot, like his girlfriend was shot at. He accused me of not caring. Of it not mattering. Of – he touched the picture, Nick. He – Maggie – no-one touches the picture, Nick. Mags, she was the last one, apart from me. She held the picture and she teased me, she asked me why I needed the picture when I had the real thing. She shut the office door, and she kissed me, and held me, and we…we," PJ's voice broke on a sob, "We made love Nick, right there, in my office, and after, afterwards she picked up the picture, and she grinned, and she said I'd have something to remember now, and then that night – she – they shot her. That man, he touched the picture – and he was right Nick. I didn't care enough. If I had cared enough she wouldn't have been dead. She wouldn't have gone to that railway, she wouldn't, I wouldn't have let her go – but I didn't, I didn't care enough – "

Nick moved before PJ knew quite what he was doing, and PJ stood looking towards his friend as Nick put the safety catch back on the gun, moving over and locking it in his car.

"Shut up."

PJ just stared, his mind hovering between rage and complete emotional exhaustion.

"Shut up PJ. Maggie loved you. You know that. And you loved her. You loved her so much, and we all knew that. You two were like the other half of each other. Of course you cared enough. Hell, you cared more than enough. But it was something she had to do, and you have to know that nothing stopped Doyle doing what she had to do. She would have gone out there that night whatever you did or said. And as for now, PJ, if she could see you know she would be spitting chips." Nick glared at PJ, finally saying it. Finally saying what PJ needed to hear.

"She would be furious. She loved you Patrick. That woman adored you, and the thought of you giving up, of you taking that gun and putting a bullet in your brain? You think she'd want you if you did that? You think she's up there, or wherever she is, watching you, waiting for you to kill yourself so you can be with her? You're stupider than I thought if you think she'd go for that. You're an idiot if you think she would want that. She loved you PJ, and she would want you to go out there and get the bastards that started this, and to then get the next lot, and the next lot – PJ, Maggie was a fighter. She wanted to take on the world and put it to rights, and she would want you to continue that, to do it for her. PJ, she – don't. Don't give it up, don't let her down, mate. You have to do it for her, to live your life for her. You know that's what she would have wanted."

"Nick, you don't know - " PJ managed, Nick's words slicing his heart wide open as they sank in.

"If you're going to say that I can't possibly understand, then I am going to beat the crap out of you. I can't understand? I can't understand? PJ, you know I know. You know I went through hell when Jennifer died. When my daughter died. I know, mate, believe me, I know. I know how it hurts so much you don't understand, you don't know where to turn, you don't even know how to breathe – and you don't want to. But PJ, you have to. You have to honour them by going on. You have to believe in them, to live for them in their place. To move forward, and to do what they would have done given the chance. You have to live for them, because they had that chance taken away, and you have to do it for them. And you can. You do it because to not do it would be wrong. It would dishonour their memories. You have to keep going because Maggie can't. You have to do it for her, so don't you dare give up on her! Do you hear me, you bastard? Don't you dare give up on her, because she sure as hell wouldn't give up on you!" Nick yelled, pulling him into a hug and holding him as PJ wept. "Don't give up on her" he whispered.

And PJ broke.

His misery, repressed and enslaved, crystallised into scythe like shards and broke free, released into the night air as PJ wept. His sobs broke the gentle evening, howling into the air and making Nick's heart ache with sadness for his friend. Holding PJ close, he waited out the storm, letting PJ work through it, and eventually PJ pulled back, rubbing a tired hand over his eyes, not quite able to catch Nick's eye. Wrapping his arms around himself, he turned and looked out into the starry night sky.

"Thank-you."

"'S ok" Nick murmured. "It's ok."

The sound of a car approaching behind them made Nick look around and he smiled to himself as he saw Zoe arrive. Tom must have told him where they would be headed. Tom Croydon was a good man, and he knew the people in his team, in his family. He had known PJ would head to the outcrop, and he had known that Nick would have caught up with him by now. Leaving PJ to his memories, Nick moved over to his wife as she shut the engine off and got out.

"I love you, Zoe Schultz," he said, wrapping her in a hug. "You have no idea how much I love you"

Zoe held him to her, letting him relax, letting him breathe – letting him know that she loved him just as much. Turning her head slightly, she placed a kiss on his forehead as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Everything ok?" she asked softly, referring both to the man in her arms, and them man standing against the nightline, his lonely figure breaking her heart.

"He'll be ok. He misses her so much, but he'll be ok." Nick smiled tiredly, kissing Zoe as she moved out of his arms, glancing over to PJ before moving over and standing close beside him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He whispered back, still staring out into the shadows. After a moment he raised an arm, and she moved in, wrapping her arm around him as he had her. They stood silently for a while, before Zoe gently turned him, and led PJ back to her car, driving him back to his house, with Nick following behind. Someone could collect PJ's car tomorrow, that didn't matter now. All that mattered to Zoe was getting the two men she loved back to safety. Nick had looked exhausted but relieved when she had held him, and as for PJ, he – she didn't know how he looked. All Zoe knew was that PJ needed his friends right now, and that they were going to be there for him.