A/N: The tension is growing! Oooh. HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT! I'm getting to go to an R5 concert. :') I'm pumped. Enjoy!
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I sit on Austin's bed, and he allows me plenty of space. I sniffle and wipe my nose, deciding not to cry anymore because I didn't really have a reason to cry. I think I'm just feeling guilty. I got to thinking when Austin dropped me off about all the stuff that I've been hiding from him, and it just made me feel really bad... So, I decided I needed to tell him. Tell him about me coming from New York and tell him about Elliot, and tell him that he's going to... You know, die, if he doesn't straighten up. I'm just not going to tell him how he dies. I don't think he really needs the details.
"Well," he sighs, "spit it out."
I take a deep breath. "Please don't be mad at me when I tell you all this... First of all, I'm not going to college here." He raises his eyebrows in surprise, so I continue talking before he has the chance to say something. "I go to college in New York City at Music University of New York. Truthfully I never even had thoughts about going to college here so I think it's odd that I did in my dream, but it's probably because you were here. I have to go back to New York in less than two weeks, because I'm missing college to be here." He blinks and opens his mouth, but I raise my hand to stop him. "Second, I have a boyfriend. I have for a long time now and I feel awful about going on, acting like I didn't have one for this long. I hope you don't hate me for that."
He stares at me with a scowl. "Are you done? Because I've got something to tell you as well."
I bite my lip. "Well... I still have one more thing, but I want to hear what you have to say."
He nods. "This can't continue. You and me hanging out like we're friends or whatever. We're not friends, we never will be. Sure, this whole thing between us is kind of weird, but we just need to stop talking all together. It's better for both of us, this way I can go back to living my life and partying it up and you can go back to your expensive little music university and be the good girl you always have been. We'll forget any of this ever happened in the first place. What do you say?"
I feel my lip beginning to quiver again. How could his possibly think it's okay to just throw all of this out the window like it never even happened? That seemed an impossible task to me. And if I let him continue like this... He would die.
But see, there's the catch. If I let him continue, he will die, but if he falls in love with me, there's also the chance he will get killed. And so, I am torn. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need to let him be, and let him figure it out on his own.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair, standing up. I begin walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" He asks, standing up, and I scoff and turn around.
"You want me out of your life... So okay, I'll go. I think you're right, it'll be better for both of us." I look down at the ground. "There's one more thing I haven't told you, but at this point it wouldn't do you any good to know. So I'm going to go back to New York and do my best to act like this never even happened." Saying the words kill me.
He blinks and sighs, motioning me towards the door. I think I might be sick. I walk out, and as I walk down the hallway, he leans out the door.
"I really wish you'd tell me that one last thing, Sweetheart." He says to me, and I turn around quickly and try my best to smile.
"And I really wish you were who I thought you were, Austin Moon." I turn back around and make it out of the dorm, hurrying the rest of the way to my car. I'm crying at this point, I'm so lost.
It occurs to me that Austin is never going to change without an influence. I planned on being that influence for some time now, but, as it seems, that's no longer possible. So, I find myself getting a napkin and a pen out of the glove box of my car and writing what I think will be best for Austin on it. When I finish, after a few more minutes of my heart breaking, I wipe my nose and get out of the car. I'll leave it wedged in his door.
However, I nearly run into Dez on my way into the building. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Sorry, I-"
"No, it's okay." He insists.
I give him a weak smile and fold up the napkin. "Can you give this to Austin for me, please? It's really important."
He takes the napkin and handles it as if it were a treasures, and nods wholeheartedly. "I will."
"Thanks." I whisper before going back to my car and buckling my seatbelt. I never thought I'd be so unhappy to be going to New York City.
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