"And up until now I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk, well you are…"
"Do you really think that he is better?" I tossed a piece of popcorn at him and he laughed. We had been watching batman movies and we were in the middle of a debate. He thinks that Jack Nicholson's Joker is better than Heath's.
"He was the first, classic. Of course he is better. Best batman is still Michael Keaton. And you can suck it." He playfully shoves me and I laugh.
"Shut up! Don't even, Christian Bale is so much better. It's darker and deeper. I love it." I shove him back and he turns on the couch and pauses The Dark Knight.
"Don't even begin on that. You just like him better because you think he is hot. You have to judge on talent and not looks. Ok?" He shoves me back and I let him have it.
I lean forward and fall right into his lap. I go to shake it off but my head is tilted up and he hovers over me. He brushes hair away from my face and leans down. The minute his lips hit mine, I lean up. Our mouths melt together in a sweet and loving surprise. I already know how I feel about him. He is worth the risk. Even if I lose him, I will have had him. I pull on his collar and try to get him closer to me. His mouth moves along mine like a beautiful wave in the ocean, the kind you beg for.
He lets my mouth go and his mouth hovers near mine. "Slow down there girl. I would hate to push you further." He pulls me up in his lap and I still have a grip on his collar.
"No, it's ok. I wanted you." I lightly kiss him once more, and I still don't let go of his shirt. I don't want to. His hands rub over my arms and I get goose bumps.
"Are you ok? You feel warm but you have goose bumps. Am I the cause?" He leans his mouth closer to mine and I laugh.
"I want you. Now shut up and kiss me." I pull his face to mine and I let his collar go and hold onto his face instead. His arms wrap around my body and I practically melt into him. His hands wander down my backside and my goose bumps get goose bumps.
This is how he makes me feel. Like I am the world. That this moment and we could never end. He pulls his lips away from mine and grabs my face in his hands.
"Kate, is this too soon to tell you something." The way he is looking at me, I see only good things in his eyes. I am not afraid.
"No. There is something I want to tell you as well." He smiles and drops his hands from my face. And his hands hold my waist instead, which is better, let me tell you.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." It takes me by surprise because he is telling me first. And that just lights me up inside. My face breaks out into a smile and I can't hide the giddy feeling growing in my stomach. "I take it you are happy about that."
"More than you could know. I am falling for you too." And I know I can't hide the growing feeling in my stomach. I push my lips to his and grab his collar. I pull him down on top of me on the couch and let his body move over mine. I know he is feeling it to by the way he is kissing me. I don't want this to go further but for the moment, I am allowing myself to be blissfully happy.
"Kate, wait. You don't want to…" He pushes himself up and off me and scoots to the other side of the couch.
"No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you it's just, around you I can't and don't want to hold back." I bite my lip and remove myself from the couch completely. I can no longer look at him and not wear a foolish grin. I feel like I'm five with him and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
"I'm not mad I just don't want you to feel pressured. It's just we don't have to rush. We have all summer." Pretty soon he is right behind me.
"You want to be with me, the whole summer?" I don't fight nor try to shield the smile forming upon my lips. I get tears in my eyes and I feel pathetic. "Gosh, I'm so pathetic, I'm crying." I wipe my tears hastily but he removes my hand.
"I don't think that's pathetic but more like charming. And why wouldn't I want to? I have to go back the second week in August and I want to spend every moment falling more in love with you." He pulls my face to his once more and I let my tears brush his cheeks as they slide down. He doesn't seemed bothered but instead relishes in it. I feel his tongue licking them off his face.
I push back and laugh. And he holds my hands in his. It feels good to believe in something bigger than I am. I push away because I'm still new to all of this. New to all the feelings he is making me feel.
"How about we finish the movie then I head back home with Jeff and Brant?" He lets go and plops back down on the couch.
"Ok. But let me get changed first." I head into my room and fish around for my cell phone. But then I remember I left it in my car. "Damn." Guess I can't ask Mads to borrow something. I rip open my drawers and try to find something that's not too lame to wear. Like the footies pajamas that I wore the other night. But then again, I think if he wants the real me, he should get it.
I slide into my Betty Boop pjs and scrunch up the arms so I don't get too hot. I come out and strike a pose. He originally laughs but then leans forward and pulls me into an embrace. It would be so easy to take this relationship to the next level right this moment but I have no desire to rush it. With him, every minute matters. He cuddles up to me and before I know it, I fall asleep. My head on his shoulder and his head on mine.
I don't know what time we both fell asleep but I'm not the first one to wake up. I twist in my sleep but I only twist further into him. I pretend I'm still sleeping for a couple of more minutes just to enjoy this moment. I can hear him chuckling and I fight to keep the smile from my face.
"So cute." He kisses my head and I slowly rise from my "deep slumber". "And my little sleepy angel is awake."
I groggily look up at him and his baby blues strike me in my heart. I smile and turn to the TV once I notice that he's watching The Dark Knight again.
"Why?" I point lazily to the TV and focus all my energy on staying cuddled in his arms.
"I didn't want to wake you by moving around too much. This was all ready to go so I just hit replay. That didn't wake you did it?" He is looking at me and I can see stubble on his chin.
"No it didn't. That was very considerate of you. And by the way, I'm totally loving this stubble." I run my finger along his jaw and I can feel him tense up. "What's wrong?"
"I haven't been fair to you Kate." He pulls away and I have to quickly catch myself before face planting into the couch. "Sorry, it's just. I shouldn't have told you how I really felt. I could tell you weren't going to and then we'd be safe." He begins to pace and I don't know where this is going but by the pain its causing him, I know it can't be good.
"What are you talking about?" I kneel on my couch and lean over the back and watch as he can't even look at me. I don't know what's going on but I'm not liking this. I sure hope he isn't breaking up with me. "Wait, are you breaking up with me?"
That gets him to look. "What? God no. That wouldn't be my choice." I can see him struggle with his words but I can't help him out. He looks at me and his lip trembles. "It would be our country's choice. I don't want this to end but they are giving me no choice."
I think I know what he's saying but I need him to say it. "Rick?" Panic in my eyes, pain in my heart, all caused by him.
"I just got a call this morning that they're calling us back for deployment. They're making me leave again." He doesn't bother to pace or look anywhere else but at my face.
"You're leaving me?" And then my tears come like a dripping faucet, the annoying one you can't seem to fix.
"Not by choice." He kneels down by me and grabs my hands in his.
"When are you leaving?" Please don't say tomorrow, please don't say tomorrow.
"One week." And he feels the same. Our summer romance just died.
Please don't be mad at me. And don't say how I didn't put angst or hurt... it will get better, I promise. Just hang in there with me. Ok? I will make it up to you with the next chapter. Get ready for the best week ever!
Love Always, ChelseaMarieC