Reaching down, Mel placed a gentle kiss on Tom's soft hair, smiling as he snuffled slightly in his sleep, knowing that once he was asleep, he would stay that way. Both boys had always been good sleepers, she thought, much the same as their Dad had been. She froze, the memory evaporating as fast as it had appeared, frustration taking its place. Sighing, she stood up and made her way into the kitchen, closing the door behind her as quietly as she could. It wasn't fair. This whole thing, all of it, it just wasn't fair, Mel thought as she pulled the cork from the bottle and poured herself half a glass of wine. Sloshing the wine around the glass, she watched as it settled back into lace, wishing it was that easy. Wishing life could settle back into place much as the wine did. Wishing for a miracle.

Settling back into the couch, she turned the television on, mostly as background noise, the thoughts in her mind being far too consuming for any real watching. It wasn't as if she was fighting it any more, she had amnesia, and everything she'd been told and everything she felt – it all led her to the conclusion that it would take time. With time, the memories would come back, with time she would know who she was, and with time it would all make sense. The thing was, she was sick to death of 'with time'. She was sick of waiting. She was sick of it all, and she wanted to know right now. She deserved to know, and the boys, they deserved to know their father. They deserved to know what sort of man he had been, that he had loved them and adored them in the little time he had known about them. She had tracked it back, through everything that the doctors and the police had told her, and if everyone had it right, she had to have become pregnant around the time of the accident. Mel sighed, running a tired hand across her face, taking a deep breath as she struggled to stay afloat. He had to have known he was going to be a Dad, he just had to have done. She didn't think she could cope if he had died without knowing, and so Mel had convinced herself that she had told him and that he had been over the moon.

Leaning back against the couch, Mel took another sip of wine, her thoughts turning to her sons. It had been a miracle that they had survived, but survive they had. They were both growing up so fast, each day brought new progress, new abilities, new ways to make their Mum smile. And each day took them further away from their Dad.

She SHOULD be able to move on. Should be able to move forward, to get on with her life, to look to the future. That was what the boys needed, and what they deserved. But – but doing that was so much harder than thinking that. How could she move forward when she didn't know what she was moving forward from? How the hell could she live for the future when the past was an illusion, when she had no idea of where she had come from? Sure she had been told stuff, her name, her husband's name, how he had died and other such things – but being told and remembering it were two hugely different things.

OOO

Tom sat back in his seat as Zoe drove, following the instructions that the tourism attendant had given them at the airport. Zoe glanced over at him, he had been quiet for the flight up, deep in thought, and it hadn't changed now.

"Tom – "

"Hm?" Tom roused from his memories with a shake of his head. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I know this is hard for you. She was my friend too, but it goes much deeper for you, doesn't it?" Zoe said softly.

"She – I know it sounds like a cliché, but she was like a daughter to me – or at least a niece. She was family, they all are – but if you tell Schultz that I'll deny it" he said, a grin gracing his tired face. "It's just – Zoe, if this IS her, if she is still alive – it's" he tailed off, unable to find the words.

"If it is her then we'll deal with it, Tom. If it isn't, then we'll deal with that too. If Maggie is still alive, then it's going to take a lot of time and love from all of us before we even get anywhere like back to normal. That's if she even wants to." Tom's head shot up at that. "Tom, you need to think about that. She might be happy here. She might not want to know. And if she doesn't, then we can't force her."

Tom sighed. "I know," At Zoe's look, he frowned slightly, "I do. She's built a life up here, this Mel, she's got a job, a home, hell, she's even got a family. Like you say, she might not want to come back, to be Maggie again – but Zoe, we – I – I have to know, I have to find out – and I have to give her that chance. I owe it to myself to do this, and I owe PJ and – and I owe it to Maggie. If it is her, then she deserves to have all the information, and if it isn't, then there's no real harm done. We can cope, you, me and Nick, we can cope with finding out it's not her. But if it is – Zoe, I just have to do this."

Zoe sighed softly, the full impact of it all setting in as she drew the car to the kerb. Turning the engine off, she glanced over at Tom again. Kay's car drew in behind them, and seeing no movement from their car, she got out, telling Luka to stay put for the time being. Kay stood and watched them for a moment, seeing the nerves, tension and hope in Tom's face, emotions mirrored in Zoe. Stepping forward, she tapped softly on the window, wrapping her arms around herself as her own nerves set in. Tom and Zoe got out of the car, hesitantly, both immersed in their own thoughts. Wordlessly, Tom stared at the two of them, before turning and making his way up the path, Zoe following him. Kay moved to follow as well, stopping as Luka's large hand found its way into hers.

"Melly? Melly here? " he asked softly, the emotion of the moment casting its spell over him too. "Mum, what wrong? Why Tom sad?"

"Tom is - he's not sad, sweetie, he's - Luka, listen, I'll explain later" she said as she saw Tom raise his hand to knock. "Right now we need to go and see Melly, and you have to be a good boy for me. You have to stay quiet, and to be good for Melly and Tom and me. Can you promise Mummy that? " she asked with a smile as they came up to the porch. "Even if it looks like Melly is sad, Tom and Zoe aren't making her sad on purpose, they care about Melly and only want what's best for her. And you know that I love Melly as much as you do, and I won't let her be hurt, so you have to promise me that you won't get upset, ok?"

Luka hesitated, his confused eyes sweeping between Tom, Zoe and his Mum. Kay looked back at her son with as much honesty and openness as she could manage in the circumstances.

"You love Melly?" he said, and Kay nodded in confirmation.

"Ok Mum." Luka said, slipping his warm hand back into his mother's, and Kay held his hand to her heart.

"Good boy"

Luka's attention was distracted from Kay, however, as the hall light had flickered to life, and everyone could hear footsteps. A voice rang out, strong but muted.

"Hello? Who's there?"