28
"Nick, you're really beginning to scare me now. What's happened? Is Zoe ok? Listen mate, I can do without you at the station if you want to – " PJ stopped as Nick raised his hand.
"Mate, please, sit down. I need to talk to you about something" he said. PJ looked at Nick, really looked at him, taking in the worry that was written all across his face. Something was very, very wrong. He pulled out a chair and sat down, just as Nick rose to his feet, unable to sit still as he let PJ in on the truth.
"PJ, I – " he stopped, his throat dry. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, he poured himself a glass of water, swallowing it down in one gulp.
By now PJ's mind was working in overdrive, scenario after scenario flashing through his mind, each one worse than the previous one. It was most definitely not helped by Nick's apparent reluctance to talk.
"Nick. Talk to me, please. Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can help you."
Nick took a deep breath, and sat down opposite PJ.
"Zoe and the Boss, there's no baby, and Tom's not off seeing Susan. They're – ah – they found Maggie. She's still alive, mate. Maggie's alive'"
PJ's face went white before darkening in anger. "Not funny mate. Not even the remotest bit funny. You don't use Mags to get out of talking to me. I can't believe you even thought of using her like that. Don't you – if you don't want to tell me what ever it is that's bugging you, then don't, but don't you ever – " by now he was standing, towering over a seated Nick, his blue eyes flashing with fire, "EVER use Maggie like that" he spat out, fury rolling off him in waves. He stared down at Nick for a moment longer, before the need for air drove him out of the room, the kitchen door slamming behind him.
Nick leaned back in his chair, running a hand though his hair. "Well, that went well," he said. "Zoe, sweetheart, how do I do this?" he thought to himself, watching as PJ stood in the garden, hands jammed deep in his pockets, staring up into the night sky, shoulders set in anger, his whole body tense with fury.
'I cannot – I can't – how could he? How – 'PJ was speechless, pain, anger, a whole myriad of emotions chasing each other through his mind. Maggie. His Maggie. She was dead, he told himself – DEAD – and here was Nick, his supposed best mate Nick, saying that Zoe – that they'd – that she was – the urge to punch something, to hit out at something was almost too much, and it was all he could do not to give in to it.
A voice from behind startled him.
"Its true, PJ. She's alive"
It was too much for PJ, and he swung around, his fist connecting with Nick's jaw, causing Nick to stumble backwards against the house. Moving forward, PJ stood over Nick, and for a second there, Nick was afraid, for a second there Nick saw the pain that PJ had gone through, and was still suffering.
"I said, " PJ said, his voice dark with pain. "I said you don't get to say that. You don't get to go there. She's DEAD Nick. It just about killed me to accept that the first time, and now you think you can go and say – and say - " Standing up very carefully, hands outstretched placatingly in front of him, Nick moved around behind PJ, wrapping his arms around him, waiting until the fight went out of him. "You can't say that Nick, please, don't do this to me," he whispered. "I can't go through it again"
Nick led PJ back inside, and they sat down at the table again. PJ drew a deep shuddering breath, rubbing a shaking hand over his face. Nick's words had scared him, had shaken him to the very core. He knew how PJ had felt when Maggie died, how close PJ had come to joining her at his own hand, and how long it had taken PJ to begin to heal. Nick KNEW all of that, so what the hell did he think he was doing by saying what he was? What the hell did he think he was doing, saying all of that? Saying Maggie was alive? How could he be so cruel?
"It's true"
PJ stilled. He was still saying it, Nick was still – PJ's blue eyes finally focused, and Nick felt his breath hitch as PJ looked up at him. The fear, the confusion – the sheer terror that he saw, Nick knew he had to tread carefully if PJ was going to cope.