What a loveable character Patch was. She was, for example, kind enough to give some ponies compliments when they really impressed her. VERY heroic, not fearing sacrifice, and not to mention brave. The epitome of chivalry if there was one. She also brightened up every single room she walked in to, and to top it all off, she was very attractive. An eligible bachelor if there ever was one.

Those things should have been obvious. Especially to Bon Bon. Why WEREN'T they, then? That was the question that had plagued Patch all week, while she isolated herself from her friend a bit to get things straightened up in her mind.

That was what the little pony thought to herself as she trotted into the Rainbow Beauty Salon that morning, greeted by the sight of six little ponies seated in front of the mirrors.

She should have figured the group was doing hair. Why else would she be called away from her perfectly pleasant search for buried treasure by Paradise Lake? Patch suppressed a sigh and trotted past the group, trying her best to ignore them (especially a certain yellow pony).

"Sorry, Patch, it looks like you'll have to do your own hair. And we don't have any more chairs, so…"

Patch trotted up to the mirror and, meanwhile, rolled her eyes, though covertly so. No need to start conflict. Her eyes scanned the counter in front of her, and she raised an eyebrow at the lack of visible brushes. "Uh…"

"We only have four brushes," Starlight replied while hiding a grin.

"In a salon of five chairs?" Patch wanted to say, but she kept her muzzle sealed. No, it wasn't worth it. She didn't even care about her appearance that much anyway, so she just looked into the nearest mirror and studied her own facial features.

Her appearance was perfect just the way it was. The gold eyes, the thickish eyebrows (she couldn't tell whether they were indeed thicker than most, they looked pretty much the same as anyone else's) the little ears that gave a little wiggle… And… the best part… Patch made a funny face in the mirror and tried her best to keep from chuckling to herself. Yeah, my face is pretty cool.

She turned around and frowned as she noted Bon Bon, who was doing busy work on Melody's mane whilst concentrating.. I'm so… obsessive, she thought on an off-hoof note. While Bon Bon wasn't always on her mind, even away from her, she still thought sometimes. Normally she was just fine hanging around her as a friend, but...

She loves Ace, she thought, gloomy and just a bit bitter. He isn't even nice. He's a jerk. Patch was aware that it was jealousy speaking to her, but it didn't make it any less frustrating. Ace didn't even care about Bon Bon… He only cared about himself. Not Melody either; he just wanted a pretty girl on his arm. And Patch would be remiss (and in the hospital) if she said Melody wasn't pretty.

As she stared at her friend's reflection, she adjusted her hair in the back a bit. Why doesn't she love me? Is she just into jerks?

"So, girls, heard any… INTRESTING gossip lately?"

The word 'gossip' leapt out at Patch, and it occurred to her somewhere that that was the reason Starlight didn't even bother with the brushes.

And, she appreciated a good laugh from a bit of gossip, so she slid right up to Clover like everyone else when she said that she had a juicy story. "Madame Percheron would have a bow! Count Appleoosa was his name, she has his picture in a frame… I think that they were engaged once years ago!"

Patch climbed up on her hindlegs, and told the group the first thing that came to mind, copying off of Clover's beat, which tapped itself out to a cowbell in her head. "So here's my juicy story, my neighbor dyed her hair. Instead of turning blonde it turned an awful green!"

As she finished, Bon Bon's hoof ran up her side and rested on her shoulder. "I heard her hair fell out in clumps because she came down with the mumps! Now her family's under quarantine!"

It wasn't until Bon Bon removed herself from Patch's side that she realized that their muzzles had been only about an inch apart, and that she'd told a story that Bon Bon was around for. And she's excellent at rapping too… what the heck are you saying?!

Patch shook her mane out as Melody told her story."I heard a rumor that Dazzle has a boyfriend. He sings with the Cleveland Bays or so I heard."

Boyfriend… engagement… mumps… jeez. My mind is in the gutter today.

"Hey, Sweetheart, you didn't tell any stories about anyone…" Patch said emphatically.

Sweetheart was quick to reply. "Gee, I don't usually tell stories about people." Clover opened her jaws to speak, but the white pony continued, putting a hoof on her chin and looking up. "There is one about my baby sister, Sugar."

Patch wasn't alone when everyone said, "Yes?"

Sweetheart put her forehooves together. "Well, when she's sleeping, she looks ever so sweet, sucking on her hoof…"

The boringness of the story was tangible. Patch was clearly the only one who was amused by it. Hey, maybe she could spend the day teaching Sweetheart a thing or two about telling a good story…

Melody puffed, obviously not amused. "Sweetheart, is that the juicieststory you got?"

Sweetheart frowned, and put a hoof to her chin. "Well… she's only a baby…"

Bright Eyes raised her hoof. "Never mind your sister, Sweetheart. What about Teddy, hm?"

And, with that, the funniest, most devious plan of all came to mind. Making fun of a certain jerk with a Mohawk sounded like a great idea right then, too…

Melody nodded her approval. "Yeah, you know him better than the rest of us, you must have something on that bully. She closed her eyes with satisfaction, leaving the perfect entrance to strike.

Patch adjusted her position a bit, so she was facing everyone minus Sweetheart. "Huh, Teddy may be a bully, but he's not really so tough."

Bon Bon frowned and put a hoof on her chin thoughtfully. "He isn't?" she echoed, confusion evident in her tone.

Oh my gosh, I can so use this. "No way!" Patch responded emphatically, pointing. "In fact, I'll bet he's such a scaredy cat that, whenever he gets upset or frightened, he has to go home to cuddle with his, ummmm…"

Patch had grabbed the dark blue wig from behind herself and was cuddling it and rocking it like a baby. "Mmm… With his teddy bear." She continued rocking it, and all of her friends shared a hearty laugh.

Starlight still had laughter in her voice as she added, "Yeah, but he can't tell anyone."

"Because it would totally trash his reputation as a tough guy!" Melody finished.

Patch tossed the wig back into its exact location. "Pretty good joke, ah Sweetheart?"

Sweetheart was a deer stuck in headlights at that comment. Patch grinned at the discomfort on her friend's face. She just had to invite her to go further, didn't she? "Sweetheart… you mean Teddy really does have a teddy bear?!" Patch exclaimed, wanting to cackle at the hilarity of the situation.

The white pony's cheeks were the same color as the owner's mane. She shook her head and looked bashful. "I… I promised not to… say anything…"

"Woo-hoo, Teddy really DOES have a teddy bear!" Patch exclaimed with a showy jump in the direction of her friends. It wasn't getting a jab at Teddy that amused her most, it was the fact she looked so cool doing it, and just the irony of the whole thing with Sweetheart.

Sweetheart was nearly hyperventilating. "I-I didn't say that!"

Then Patch gripped Starlight's hoof and smirked as she linked hooves with Bright Eyes, who linked hooves with Bon Bon. "Teddy has a teddy bear! Teddy has a teddy bear!" everyone chanted, doing the weird dancey walk Patch had started up.

Aw man, it was great to be a jokester.

"He DOES?!" Patch almost cackled out loud as the irony train accelerated. "UNREAL! Wait'll Lance hears about this!"

"NO, Ace, you CAN'T! This isn't what you think it is, they're only kidding, oh please oh please!"

Ace chuckled. "Later, ladies. The starting gun as sounded, and I'm history!" Ace ran out of the room before Sweetheart could do anything.

And it was then that Patch flopped over in the middle of the floor and released her laughter, kicking her legs out blindly as she did so. It was difficult to breathe and tears escaped her closed eyelids. The only thing she could think about was getting enough oxygen in her system. When she finally managed to stop, the first thing she saw was Sweetheart's anxious features.

"C'mon Sweets," Patch replied, standing on twos and putting her arm around her friend's back. "It was only a joke. I bet Teddy'll get a good laugh out of it."

Sweetheart just buried her face in her hooves and let out a sorry groan.

"Hey, I thought that was really cool earlier."

Patch stopped her trot away from the ice cream shop and looked over in slight shock to see Bon Bon standing behind her, a smile on her face. "Oh!" Patch replied. "Um, thanks."

"I had no idea Teddy had a teddy bear," Bon Bon continued as she moved up next to her. "You're so animated when you tell stories, you know that?"

Patch glanced around a bit. "Oh, thanks." Tell the truth, she hardly noticed. It'd come naturally.

Bon Bon smiled a bit nervously. "You're welcome. I'm a bit nervous right now, to be honest."

Patch couldn't help but show her perfectly-brushed teeth as she replied, "Yuh-huh? Why?" Because I'm here, and you want to impress… me, like I impressed you? Or, better yet, you wanted to say that I was the hottest prince ever? …Maybe because you want me to kiss you?

"Well, Ace just showed up when I didn't expect it," Bon Bon replied softly, effectively crushing Patch's soul and hopes. "I was so embarrassed, and I thought, because you really looked cool earlier, knowing all that about Teddy, maybe you could give me a bit of advice on how? I think I want to tell him how I feel. OH! And maybe, just possibly, you could help me find a new dress to wear when we go on our date? I'd really appreciate it."

Patch blinked. "So you want me to help confess to Ace."

Bon Bon bowed her head. "Well, if you don't mind, that is…"

"You look adorable as-is," Patch sighed. Then she caught her problem as Bon Bon raised her eyebrow. "Platonically, that is," she added quickly. She didn't even know whether she'd used the word properly, but she seemed to get the point.

"You're sweet," Bon Bon replied with a small smile. "But no. I want Ace to think so. He's handsome."

"Wait, Bon Bon."

The yellow pony blinked at the peach one. "Huh?"

Patch bit her lip. She was gonna do it. She was gonna tell Bon Bon the truth… or chicken out. The latter option had its perks, but the former, she was sure, would be better in the long run. Just… maybe not right in the middle of the road. Her Bon would never appreciate that.

"I-I was thinkin', why don't we g-go, uh, to my clubhouse?" she asked, rocking on her hooves. "We could talk."

"But you always say that action is better than words," Bon Bon asked, doubt in her voice.

There was a brief pause in which Patch tried not to look at her friend's skeptical face. An awkward silence unfolded, only broken by the cars that occasionally passed through. Okay, this is too weird… "Yeah, you're right," Patch responded, aware of her voice cracking once. "I guess… let's go to the thrift store."

"For a dress Ace will see?" Bon Bon questioned.

"Oh. Then… off to the trendy clothes store, I guess."

Bon Bon nodded, finally satisfied. "Thanks."

And, you know, Patch spent the next four hours dealing with Bon Bon's shopping store rituals and finding a dress that actually fit Bon Bon, because if there were sizes eight and ten, Bon Bon was a nine. "Will Ace like this?" Bon Bon had asked at the end, sporting the sparkly, cute green dress.

"I love it," Patch admitted at the end, not mentioning Ace's reaction. Maybe green was his favorite color, but if it wasn't Melody in the dress, it wouldn't matter.

At the end, Patch got paid with a hug, but at the expense of forking seventy two hard-earned jangles over the counter to pay the cashier for the article of clothing.

Seventy jangles hard-earned jangles that were spent trying to help Bon Bon get in Ace's league.

Which she wasn't going to do anyway unless she mutated into Melody.