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Bolin

Bolin never knew Mako to be selfish. Never. And maybe that was because it had always been just the two of them, and Mako felt like he had to be grown up and the parent, but he couldn't remember a single moment when Mako put himself first.

Whenever food was scarce, Bolin always got the bigger portion or, in rare cases when they only had enough for one person, everything.

Whenever they slept, huddled under ratty, thin blankets that were too small for the two of them together, Mako was the one that slept lighter, ready to fight whoever dared to come upon them in the night. And Mako was the one that kept them warm, making his body hotter to fight the cold.

Whenever he had gotten sick, Mako was the one who worked harder, or even did things like steal, to get medicine. And if they were both sick, Bolin was the one who got most of the cough syrup and Mako was the one who had mucus in his chest for longer.

Whenever someone had messed with him, Mako was the one who fought, who made the fire come from his fists and shoot it, or the one who took the licks and cuts and bruises on his behalf. It was only because Bolin insisted that he needed to learn how to fight too, that he had to be able to protect himself better, that Mako had finally broken down and tried to teach him to use his earthbending as best as he could.

Mako was his brother and mother and father. And he was never selfish.

Bolin knew his older brother deserved to have things that made him happy. And if that happened to be a person, a girl, who made him happy, then he had every right to be with that girl.

But he wasn't sure if he was okay with the way his older brother was going about it.

Mako had been worried about Korra—he could understand that. She was safe in her room. She had awaken, but her body still needed rest from all the bloodbending it had suffered from Tarrlock, the fatigue that came from her escape, and the slight cold due to exposure—that was what the doctor that had come to see her had said. Bolin could understand that Mako was willing to help Pema and the kids get her better. Korra was a Fire Ferret and a friend; it had been their fault for making her feel she had to go so far as to confront Tarrlock privately and directly. There was nothing wrong with walking by her room or even sitting in her room as she slept—"to make sure she isn't having nightmares"—or grabbing the bottle of cough medicine or bowl of soup from Meelo en route to her room for her meals or her medicine, or even spending most of the day talking to her.

But what about Asami?

It was bad enough that Bolin had been stupid—really stupid, so stupid!—and opened his big mouth about his brother and teammate kissing. But now that she knew about the two of them, Bolin couldn't really stand watching her act like she didn't. She wouldn't say anything because she didn't want to fight, but the way Mako doted on Korra was bothering her. She was always looking away when Mako walked by their table in the Dining Hall holding a bowl full of whatever Pema had deemed appropriate for Korra to eat. And pressing her ear to the door to better hear their voices on the other side of Korra's door wanting to go in but willing to wait.

"It just feels like everybody knows, like everybody is staring at me," Asami had said to them as they did their chores—feeding the lemurs. She was taking each piece of fruit and placing it in the cafe, distracted with other thoughts. "And I know they're not, but still. ...It's not that I'm not happy that Korra is safe—I am, but I can't underst—I don't like it. I don't like it! I know that Mako is worried, but you're worried too, right?"

"Yeah." He closed the latch.

"But you're not sitting in there, sleeping in a chair beside her bed right now. And even if you wanted to, you can't. The only time they're not in there together is when Councilman Tenzin is there.

"...You would know if they kissed again, right? Or if they were doing more than just kissing in there?"

"Asami, Mako wouldn't—"

She groaned. "I know, Bolin, I know. But out of everything I've lost, Mako really is the only person I have left...I just don't understand...why is Korra acting like she doesn't know that?"

And what about Korra?

Korra liked Mako, and she might have known that she was doing something wrong in having his undivided attention all the time, but she certainly wasn't going to stop. Bolin knew she wasn't lying about the way she felt, nor was she doing this to be malicious. It wasn't as if she was pretending that she was too weak to do anything—she relied on her strength; if she didn't act like she was strong and capable, it would be the same thing as being defeated to her—but she was willing not to force herself out of bed if it meant that his brother was willing to be there most of the time her eyes opened from her naps. She knew that the moment she stepped out of bed without help, she would have to pretend like she didn't want to make him stay with her and interact with her in a way that didn't involve them yelling or screaming at one another.

Bolin knew he couldn't confront Korra about it, at least not when she was still recovering. When he came in to hang out with her and the moments in between them acting stupid and laughing at Pabu's antics or her excitement at connecting with Avatar Aang or the surreal dreams she had, what she believed were moments of Avatar Aang still connecting with her, he wanted to help her not think too much about what was next or what had happened to Tarrlock or facing Amon once and for all. Even though she was in the wrong, Bolin couldn't ask her to think about how she was going to handle bringing peace to the world and what she was going to do about her and his brother.

All roads led to Mako.

He didn't want to be the one to confront his brother about juggling the way he felt about Korra and Asami, but if he didn't, who would?

"You have to make a decision." Bolin had placed Pabu down and faced his brother that night—he was being that serious because it was better to just say it and then go to bed. "It's not fair to either of them and you know it."

Mako looked at him guiltily and then back at his blanket. He face was serious, tight. "I know...But Bolin, I can't."

"Yes, you can—you have to. If you don't, it'll just be bad at the end."

"It's complicated..."

"What else is new?"

Bolin didn't usually use sarcasm on Mako and his brother knew it. "Yeah, I know...What if the choice I make is the wrong one or someone else winds up being hurt? Asami doesn't make any demands on me, but I know she depends on me. And I promised to be with her and for her after we found out about her dad. But Korra...I thought I was gonna go crazy when we were looking for her and we couldn't find her. And when we did, she just looked really...fragile on Naga's back."

"I remember."

"...What if they start to hate each other? What if Asami decides to join her dad because of me?"

"Asami wouldn't do that."

"What if Korra loses against Amon because I decided to be with Asami?"

"Korra wouldn't be like that." Mako gave her brother a look. "She wouldn't. She wouldn't lose to Amon because of that."

Mako ran his hand through his hair. "...Who would you choose?"

"...I don't know."

Selfish Choices