A/N: A shorter one this time. Thanks for the reviews so far! Keep at it and I'll keep spewing these out. They're fun to write. Also, let me know if you want to see a certain character.

Kokonoe is seriously considering conducting surgery on a certain blond heroine's brain...

...because she's convinced that a chemical imbalance is the only suitable reason to why Noel could possibly think the current situation was acceptable.

At the moment, the scientist was practically shaking with anger in her small bed as the Eye of the Azure had her slim arms tightly wrapped around her waist in a death grip. She seemed perfectly content, not realizing at all how Kokonoe had noticeably stiffened since the girl had latched onto her about an hour ago.

Unless she obliterated her with some truly devastating magic, there was no way the catgirl was escaping the utterly oblivious Noel's clutches. Her damn hold was that strong.

She hadn't the slightest clue why this was happening. Well that wasn't true...she knew why they were in the same bed. It was because for all of his prestige, Kagura Mutsuki apparently still didn't have enough mula to provide enough beds to everyone currently staying at his manor. Which, Kokonoe now realized, was way bigger of a problem then she initially thought.

Especially if you're paired with Cuddly McSnuggles over here.

Humming in satisfaction, Noel shifted slightly so her head lay on Kokonoe's shoulder. Since the scientist was rather short, the sleeping girl managed to get her nose directly adjacent to Kokonoe's ear. This meant that on top of her vice grip, Kokonoe now had to also endure the all too clear sound of Noel's snoring.

...which, as it turns out, was a lot worse than you'd expect by looking at her petite form.

It was truly a horrid sound, like something she'd expect from Tager. Not someone who's literally a third of his size.

Suddenly an idea popped into the genius's head. Smirking, Kokonoe focused all of her willpower to her rear and managed to bring her tails up to Noel's face. Just a little more focus and...

Wack!

Both of the furry appendages smacked the blonde right square in the money-maker. The girl's arms loosened for all of two seconds – way too fast for the professor to do anything before they tightened up again, even more constricting then before. Looking back to scowl at her torturer, Kokonoe noticed that Noel's stupid slumbering face now somehow had an even happier grin plastered on it.

"Mm...I'm never letting you go Mr. Panda..." Noel murmured quietly.

Kokonoe just rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat. She didn't know whether to be insulted or disturbed by Noel's comment, so she settled on being both. Regardless, her efforts to free herself were officially pointless...she would just have to accept that she wasn't getting any sleep tonight. The only thing she could look forward to now was a nice, extra large cup of coffee to get her through tomorrow.

And soon enough, the next morning arrived. Unsurprisingly, for the whole day Kokonoe had been especially irritable, even for her, which had even caused the ever faithful and stoic Iron Tager to become nervous around her. Despite this, the scientist had noticed that her fellow beastkin Makoto Nanaya wasn't scared of her in the slightest and had instead spent most of the day stealing giggles at Kokonoe's expense.

It was only later when Makoto suggested that she sleep with Noel that night instead of her that Kokonoe realized she hadn't been the first person to be mistaken for Mr. Panda.

It almost made her feel better about the whole thing. Almost.

Ragna the Bloodedge took public transit the other day.

And if you thought he'd be immune to any amount of bizarreness from traveling with Taokaka, you'd be wrong. Weird goddamn people use the bus it seems.

Sure, it was a risky option, but Ragna literally goes everywhere on his feet. After a while, it's just so tiring keeping it up. The Hierarchical Cities aren't exactly close to each other, considering the fact that they can only be built by certain elevations where the seithr doesn't poison your sorry ass.

So, with the pitiful amount of change he somehow still had after buying lunch for like three people he didn't even like, the most wanted criminal in the entire world hopped on the 200 express to Ibukido.

...and is really, really regretting that decision.

Ragna is currently hiding in the very back corner of the bus, Blood Scythe sitting comfortably on the seat next to him. All around him are some of the weirdest people he's ever had the displeasure of seeing.

There's a girl who's hands literally have not stopped shaking violently for at least five minutes. She's also breathing heavily and moans in pain sometimes. It's pretty obvious that she's at least a crackhead, but it's still incredibly uncomfortable to watch. Unless of course you're apparently anyone else on this bus, since no one but him seems to be paying her any attention.

It's like someone on the verge of a complete mental breakdown is just a normal occurrence on this godforsaken bus.

There's also two of the ugliest people Ragna's ever seen making out so hard right beside his sword. He has every right to clock them both for the disturbing display of PDA, but quite frankly Ragna is pretty sure they both have contracted something he doesn't want to risk getting.

And let's not forget about the schizophrenic guy in front of the criminal who is having a rather in-depth conversation about Mexican cuisine with himself. Seriously, if the criminal has to hear about why the right amount of salsa and sour cream literally makes or breaks the taco one more time, he might lose control of his Grimoire.

Sidenote: Everyone here also smells like cat piss. Ragna would know, he trained with Jubei after all.

Ragna honestly thinks getting anyone from the NOL to go on this bus even once would be enough to reduce his bounty by at least a couple billion. Sure he's killed a lot of people, but at least he's mentally stable. How could upholders of the law let these deranged half-wits roam free?

A tap on his shoulder jerks Ragna from his thoughts. His hand shoots up to the handle of Blood Scythe as he glares at the source. It's the crackhead. Her hands are still shaking beyond control, obviously.

"H-hey man," she stutters. "You, uh, h-holding?"

Ragna directs the most murderous glare he can muster up straight at this mess of a human being's scabby face. "No, I don't have any meth for your pathetic ass. Fuck off."

The girl just stares at him for a moment before turning around slowly and returning to her seat. Her moans have increased in volume and frequency, again to the complete obliviousness of all the other freaks here. Ragna can't take it anymore, so he hits the stop button despite being on here for all of ten minutes.

As he gets off, he suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of freedom, while also wondering if there's a taco place nearby...

Noel Vermillion bought a bust enhancer online.

To be honest, it's probably one of the more understandable things for a girl to buy online. In fact, Noel's pretty sure you can only buy something like that online. If a shop does exist for it though, she'd be way too terrified to go anyway.

The package came in the mail today and Noel would be lying if she said she wasn't excited. The miracle product was called Buxom Beverly's Bust Boomer 3000, and if the name was anything to go by, this fine commodity was legit.

The ad was gold too. Even though it was an online advertisement, it had a little commercial attached to it that showed a down and out girl (like Noel herself) becoming a woman that could even put Miss Litchi to shame. This broad literally went from zero to hero! From geek to sheek! Literally all of the hottest guys Noel had ever seen wanted a piece of this bust-enhanced beauty, and she knew that with Beverly's help that could be her too.

And so, it was time to begin.

Swiftly unwrapping the package, Noel burrowed through tons of bubble wrap (she'd play with it later) to claim her prize. Her eyes lit up when she felt cool, sleek metal against her fingertips.

The machine was rather simple. It was basically a big metal rectangle with a power chord on one end, and two big suction cups on the other. For such an important contraption, at least in Noel's eyes, the product only had like three buttons. One of which was the power switch. There was also no instruction manual, but it seemed easy enough.

Plug it in, cup the boobs, press the power switch, get the guys.

It was the most simple, yet satisfying four-step plan that had ever entered Noel's head. So without further ado, the incredibly misguided girl went about becoming a woman...

...except there was one problem. The cups were too big. The suction cups that were made specifically to attach to a small pair of breasts were still too big for her!

"No no no no no!" a topless Noel exclaimed in a panic. "This can't be right!"

Frantic, the poor girl kept trying to keep the oversized contraptions on her chest while she attempted to start the power, but every time she lifted her hand even a little they would immediately fall off.

Thank god she was alone, because it was a truly pathetic display.

Tears welled up in the blonde girl's eyes as she slowly came to the conclusion that this wasn't happening. The one thing she wanted more than anything in the world was still out of her grasp.

Shaking slightly with her sobs, Noel headed solemnly towards the bubble wrap and popped it alone in her living room. Depression crushed her like an anvil, but every pop made her feel just the slightest bit better.

Eventually she fell asleep there, dreaming of incredibly murderous ways to utterly annihilate this stupid machine tomorrow, and maybe even Beverly herself.

A/N: I take the bus all the time. My description, believe it or not, was pretty accurate.