45
PJ sighed. "Your Mum couldn't remember me at all mate, and down in Mount Thomas, the doctors had told me that your Mummy was really badly hurt and well, they told me that she had gone to Heaven because she'd been hurt so much when the bad men came. I was really, really sad, and I cried and cried for a very long time. Your Mummy had lots of friends in Mount Thomas, and we all cried for days and days, and they had to look after me because I was so sad. I never thought I'd see your Mummy again." PJ said, his voice breaking slightly.
Joe leaned forward, giving PJ the patented Hasham smile. "S Ok, tective PJ, Mummy's here, and she loves you lots and lots."
"I know she is, and you will never know how happy that makes me," PJ said, returning the Hasham charm, giving both his sons and their mother a look that spoke volumes. "I love your Mummy, and you two so much."
"We love you too," Tom said reassuringly. "Love you lots 'tective PJ"
PJ's heart soared at his son's words, and it was his turn to have to bite back tears.
"So what happened next?" Joe asked, wanting to hear more of the story. "Tective PJ all sad in Mutt Thomas, and Mummy all sad here. What happened next?"
"Well, I had to try to get on with my life without your Mummy, but it was very hard to do, and I didn't really want to." PJ said softly. "My friends, well, mine and Mummy's friends from Mount Thomas, we cried for a long time, and we missed Mummy so much, but after a long time, we had to start to get on with our lives, and we had to go out and start to catch the bag guys again." PJ explained.
"Did you catch the bag guys who hurt Mummy? Tom asked curiously, and Maggie was curious too. That was something that they hadn't really talked about, who had actually shot her. Realisation dawned in PJ, and it was all he could do not to let his true feeling show as he thought about exactly whom it was who had shot Maggie. Feeling her eyes bore into him, PJ did his best to hide it, turning to his sons and simplifying things once again.
"Yes, we did, and he's in jail now, and you don't have to worry, he won't be getting out." Hanging his head slightly, he glanced over at Maggie. "Later sweetheart. I'll tell you later, I promise" and he looked so worried, so distraught that Maggie let it go, storing his reactions away, worry beginning to gnaw at her. PJ sighed, he'd not wanted to get into this, he'd not wanted her to know, because it was going to hurt her so much. But he couldn't hide it, not really. She was bound to want to know, and he was going to have to tell her. "Mags, please, just leave it for now. Trust me sweetheart, I know what I'm doing"
Looking deep into his eyes, Maggie saw the love that he held for her, and also saw that whatever it was he wasn't saying was upsetting enough to hide from their sons. And so, with their sons in mind, she relented, kissing him quickly before turning back to the twins.
"Tective PJ? What about me and Joe?" Tom asked into the silence.
"What about you two?" PJ asked, his grin returning to his face. "You mean why didn't I come and find you?" Tom nodded.
"Well, you see, you know how Mummy said she didn't remember anything about me and Mount Thomas? Well it worked both ways. I didn't know anything abut you two either. I had no idea that you two were up here, being born, and growing up like you have. I didn't know there was a Tom, or a Joe," he turned to each twin as he spoke. "If I had known about you, I would have been up here like a shot, being with Mummy when she was pregnant, being at the hospital when you were born, and watching you grow up every single day. You have to believe that." PJ said, reaching out and running a finger down each of their small faces. "I am so sorry that I missed that, and I will do everything I can to make it up to you."
"And – " he looked over at Maggie. "You have to forgive your Mummy too. She didn't lie to you, she really did think that your Daddy was in Heaven, because that's what the doctors and the policemen told her."
"Mummy?" Joe said, his blue eyes alight with questions again
"It's true. I thought that your Daddy was in Heaven, because the doctors told me that, and I believed them. They told me that I had been in a car crash, and that your Daddy had gone to Heaven after that crash. They didn't tell me about 'tective PJ, and I couldn't remember him. Peej, I'm – "
"I know sweetheart. I know" PJ said.
Taking a deep breath, he continued. "So. Mummy was up here, pregnant with you two, and I was down in Mount Thomas, missing her like crazy and with no idea that you two were on your way. And that's how it continued. Mummy had you two and you all lived up here, thinking your Daddy was in Heaven, and there I was, alive and well in Mount Thomas with no idea that you two even existed. It wasn't Mummy's fault, she didn't know about me, and it wasn't my fault, because I thought that your Mummy was in Heaven. If you want to blame anyone, blame the doctors and policemen that lied to Mummy and me for so long." PJ said, with a touch of venom in his voice.
Maggie sighed, bowing her head and controlling the anger that she too felt at those who had deceived her. Shaking it away, she sat up, giving PJ's hand a supportive squeeze. He smiled at her, knowing that they would talk it out later, but for mow, the boys were more important, knowing he had to get them to understand that he was their Daddy, and that he loved them just like a father should.
"So, I know it's a lot to take in, but can you understand it? Can you see that I'm your Daddy? Can you see that your Mummy's telling the truth, and I am your Daddy, and that I love you so much?"