Thanks to the lovely Helen and Sarah for reviewing. Sarah, I know it was a jump to go from PJ, Maggie and the twins back to Nick and Zoe, but I was trying to show that life in Mt thomas is running parallel to life up wherever it is that PJ and Maggie are ( I've just realised that I never quite said exactly where it was!). Anyway, I wanted to set up the fact that Nick and Zoe would be in Mt Thomas full time when PJ brings Mags and the twins home, hence that last chapter. Sorry if it confuzzled you.
This next chapter is a rather long one, but it all flowed so well that I didn't really want to split it. Happy reading folks, and thanks in advance for feedback.
C
47
"So" Tom said with a voice full of importance, as he, Joe and Luka sat outside later, "Tective PJ isn't 'tective PJ, he's 'tective Daddy, and me and Mummy and Joe are going on a plane to Mutt Thomas to see where Mummy used to live before me and Joe were alive and we're going to see 'tective Daddy's house too. AND we're going to his work and we'll see the policemen, and the jail, and I'm going to ask Mummy if I can be a 'tective too, and wear a badge and drive a fast car and catch the bad guys," and when he ran out of breath, Joe took up the story.
"And look, see my blue eyes? 'Tective Daddy has blue eyes too, just like mine and Tom's, and 'tective Daddy loves lemon cheesecake too, and he likes the Pies and we like pies too, but " Joe frowned in concentration. " 'Tective Daddy says the Pies aren't pies, he says that they're a football team, and that we'll like them too, but I think he's being silly and he means apple pie, cos that makes more sense and me and Tom LOVE apple pie – "
PJ stood in the kitchen, his arms wrapped around Maggie as they watched their sons chatter outside. Resting his chin on her shoulder, PJ placed a gentle kiss on her temple.
"In case it's escaped your notice since I last told you, Maggie Doyle, I love you. You and those chatterbox sons of mine, who, I may add are doing more chattering than they have in the entire time I've known them, but Mags, you and them, you're all I ever want in life." Tightening the hug for a moment, he then released her and came to stand beside her as they watched Tom and Joe waffle on in excitement. "Listen Mags, are – well, are you sure about this? I mean, we can stay up here for longer if you want, there's no rush. We don't have to go back just yet, we can – "
Effectively shutting him up with a kiss, Maggie turned once again wrapping him in a hug so that her face was hidden in the crook of his shoulder. Holding him tightly to her for a few seconds, she placed a gentle kiss on his neck, before moving back slightly and looking up at him.
"They do that, Tom and Joe. They can talk with Luka for hours and hours. He, I don't know, he just 'gets' them. I think he's nearer their level or something, even if he's nearer to us in age and even bigger than you in size. But, you know what I mean though?" Maggie smiled at the sound of her boys, her heart tight with love for them – for them and for the man who stood before her, looking slightly anxious. Standing on tiptoe, she reached up and kissed him.
"And PJ, shut up, you nut. I said we're going to Mount Thomas, so that's where we're going. I want to see it again, I – well, I'm kind of hoping that it might knock a few more bits of my memory into place, and before you get all worried, no I'm not expecting miracles, but it can't hurt, can it? And besides, it'll be nice for the boys to see where their Daddy lives, you heard them, and it'll be nice to see Tom – to see the Boss, I mean, it'll be nice to see him and Nick and Zoe again. I liked them PJ. Even though I don't quite remember them properly, I liked them. They care about me, whoever I am now, and I think they cared about Maggie a lot. No," she put up a finger to silence PJ, "You know what I mean. I know that I'm Maggie, PJ. I know that. I just, well, I just don't quite feel it properly yet."
Maggie sighed and took his hand, leading him over to the kitchen table, content that the boys were safe outside with Luka.
"I know it's weird, PJ. I know it doesn't make sense. I am Maggie Doyle. All the evidence points to that, and there's no doubt it's true. The photo's, the Boss, Nick and Zoe, you – even the snippets of memories I keep getting, they all tell me I'm Maggie Doyle. And it fits, it does, really. I look in the mirror and the feelings that I get when I think about the Boss, or the others, or even the Uniform, for god's sake, it all slots into place. I feel like Maggie Doyle. And the way I feel when I'm around you, like – like it's right, like I'm safe and loved, and wanted, that all feels true too. I know I love you PJ, I know I'm crazy in love with you and I never want to let you go again, but – "
PJ reached over and wove his fingers in amongst hers. "But you still don't see Maggie when you look in the mirror, do you? If someone asked you who you were, Maggie Doyle wouldn't be the first name that came to mind. You're not quite sure who you see, but it's not automatically 'Maggie' just yet,"
Maggie looked at him in surprise, before giving him a small smile. "You really do know me that well, don't you?" she said, smoothing her thumb over the back of his hand. "I – you're right. I feel like Maggie, I react the way she does, I'm in love with the man she's in love with, but – but I just don't see her yet. It's so frustrating, PJ – " she pushed the chair back, sighing as she went over to the window again, staring out at the two little boys. " They don't have that problem. Tom and Joe, they just see Mummy. They won't remember this; it won't make a difference to them, will it? It won't hurt them will it PJ?" she said, worry edging into her voice as she pushed her own confusion to the back of her mind.
PJ stood as well, knowing exactly what she was doing. Maggie always had put everyone before herself, worrying about how everyone else was coping first and then eventually thinking about herself almost as an afterthought. It had driven PJ crazy, still did, but he would let her get away with it for the moment.
"It won't hurt them Mags. You heard them; they can't wait to have a look around the Station. Our Tom loves the fact that the Boss has the same name, and I have a feeling that 'Grampa Tom' is going to spoil them rotten." PJ grinned.
"Grampa Tom?" Maggie said, grateful for the opportunity PJ was giving her, loving him all the more for it.
"Might work. The Boss'd love it, but – "
"Boss Tom? Mummy, me and Joe, we go and see Boss Tom? Now Mummy? "Tective Daddy now?" Tom said, pushing the kitchen door open and coming into the kitchen, followed by his twin and their best friend.
PJ grinned, scooping a twin up into each arm. "Not right now, but tomorrow." Tom gave him a look, and PJ translated. "One more sleep"
Tom frowned over at his brother. "Tective Daddy! Me and Joe and Luka want to go see Boss Tom NOW"
PJ glanced over at Maggie, who took Tom from him and sat him on her hip, waiting until he stopped wriggling. "Tom."
The wriggling continued.
"Tom!"
Joe watched his twin, wisely keeping quiet. Mummy didn't like it when Tom got cross. He didn't do it that often, but when Tom got cross, he really got cross.
Placing Tom down on the ground, Maggie knelt down next to her son and waited.
"Go NOW!!" Tom said crossly, stamping a small foot.
Still Maggie waited, as PJ looked on, his heart bursting with a mixture of love, pride and a small smattering of fear. It seemed that Tom really was rather good at getting mad. Glancing down at the twin in his arms, he found Joe staring at him with a slightly worried look.
"Love you Joe." PJ whispered. "I love Tom too, you know. He's cross though isn't he!"
Joe nodded at his Dad, relieved that even though Tom was being naughty, 'tective Daddy still loved them.
Taking a deep breath, PJ gently placed Joe on a chair, before kneeling down beside Maggie. Glancing over at her, "Crash course in parenting then?" he whispered out of the side of his mouth, his smile only for her. Maggie nodded, her smile hidden from her son.
"Tom" PJ said, turning the full force of his blue eyes on his son." Stop."
Tom stared up at his Dad, his little mouth falling open in surprise.
"Daddy?"
PJ blinked hard at the name, before regaining control.
"Tom, we can't go and see Boss Tom and the others today, and you know that. We've told you why. Can you remember why?"
Tom frowned, his previously stamping foot now scuffing the ground in front of him, and both Maggie and PJ knew that Tom knew full well why they couldn't go today.
"Tom?" Maggie said gently, smiling as Tom moved forward and laid his head on Maggie's shoulder. Turning slightly, she scooped him up in her arms, before standing and sitting down at the table with Tom on her lap. PJ stood too, lifting Joe onto his lap and giving him a hug as he did so.
"Pardon Tom?"
Tom eventually took his head out of the safety of his Mum's hug. " Cos the airplane is all full and it's too long to walk," he said in a small voice.
"That's right," Maggie said with a smile and a kiss. "So there's no use getting all cross, is there?" Tom shook his head. "So what do you say to me and Daddy for getting all cross like that?" Maggie prompted.
Tom glanced over at his Dad and his brother, before looking up at Maggie. "I sorry Mummy. " he whispered, reaching up to plant a huge sloppy kiss on her cheek, before scrambling off Maggie's lap and climbing up over Joe to place an identical sloppy kiss on PJ. "I sorry Daddy"
"Ouch!!" yelped Joe, and Tom knelt on his brother as he climbed back down, moving over to Maggie, "Tom!! Hurt!"
Tom sighed, before going over and placing a sloppy kiss on his brother's face (aiming for his cheek, but both PJ and Maggie had to bite back laughter when Joe shuddered and wiped his eye), "I sorry Joe"
Maggie smiled and stood up. "How about we have some lemon cheesecake and then we'll give Boss Tom a ring and tell him all about our plans for tomorrow? How's that sound?" and she had to grab the side of the table for support when she was tackled by two very happy little boys and their equally happy Dad, who caught her in his arms and drew her into a hug. A hug that was extended by a kiss, a kiss that became quite distracting for both Maggie and PJ, until a yell came from knee height beside them.
"Mummy!! Daddy, stop!! Cheesecake!"
"Please Tom" came a whisper from Joe. "Have to say please"
"Mummy, Daddy, please. No kiss, cheesecake! Please?"
And there was just enough cheesecake for everyone.