I've never had a panic attack, never witnessed one, and apologies to those of you who have if I've got anything wrong over the next few chapters.

C

PJ caught her as she slumped to the ground, reacting instinctively, his cry of fear lodged in his throat as he moved. Lying her in the recovery position, once again instinctively, he turned his terrified gaze on Zoe, who was by now struggling to hold two shocked children who wanted nothing more than their mother to wake up and play. Zoe flinched as Joe accidentally kicked her ribs in his struggle to break free, her head whipping backwards as Tom's elbow caught her cheek.

Glancing between them all, Zoe's medical training kicked in.

"PJ, get over here and take the boys" she said, forcing her voice to be calm. The last thing they needed to see was exactly how panicked she herself was. "PJ, come on, get up and come over here and take the boys," she slid down to the ground so that the twins were standing, fighting her to get to Maggie, but standing nonetheless.

PJ hadn't reacted, and Zoe closed her eyes in frustration. He was kneeling beside Maggie, checking her breathing, checking her pulse over and over again. He was whispering in her ear, telling her it was going to be ok, begging her to wake up, terrified beyond belief that his own nightmares were all coming true.

"PJ, please!" Zoe was begging now, desperate to get to the still unconscious Maggie, but afraid to leave the boys who were by now bordering on hysterical.

"Mummy dead, Mummy dead?" Tom screamed, his tiny voice suddenly appearing to be the one thing that could pierce PJ's mind.

Whipping round, his blue eyes honed in on the voice, ready to tear the owner to shreds. MAGGIE WAS NOT DEAD. She was not dead, but PJ was terrified that she was on her way. Breaking all of the medical rules he'd had drummed into him since his days at the Police training Centre, he gathered Maggie up in his arms, tucking her in against his chest, her ear against his racing heart, giving her something to listen to, something to come back to.

"Don't you ever – " he hissed, fury blazing and abating as he realised who it was that had spoken. Pulling Maggie tighter against his chest, PJ forced himself to take a deep breath.

"No mate." To Zoe, PJ's voice still held terror, but both Tom and Joe seemed to be listening to their father. "No, Mummy's not d – " PJ almost couldn't say it, dropping his face to her hair and inhaling deeply, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. "Mummy's not. She's just a bit scared, just a bit sick. She'll be ok in a little while, you'll see."

With the resilience of small children, both tom and Joe seemed to accept what their daddy said, and in an almost complete turn from moments ago, they both turned in Zoe's arms, suddenly pulling her, almost causing her to fall flat on her face.

"Zoe help. Zoe make Mummy better. Go Zoe"

It was difficult to move with the twins still held tightly in each arm, and Zoe wanted nothing more than for PJ to come and take them, but he seemed unable to let Maggie go, and Zoe could quite understand that. It had been horrific to watch him fall apart the last time she'd left him, and to see her collapse in front of him like this – he must be drowning in memories.

PJ held Maggie tight to him, his mind awash with memories - blood cascading down her chest, her face white as she'd died, her gaze locked with his as she left him so alone. He forced his breathing to slow down as that particular memory took hold, repeatedly trying to believe that she was safe, that she was here, alive and well in his arms.

Except that she wasn't. She was alive, but she wasn't well, and he had to let her go, had to let someone who knew what they were doing get to her. He had to step back. Had to let someone else save her.

"PJ!"

"Daddy!!" came the combined voices of Zoe and his sons, begging, pleading tones, and PJ looked down at the woman in his arms, and then back to the scared faces in front of him.

"Zo?"