Title: One Month - Chapter Eight
Summary: The days following Andy Darden's death and how it was handled. Mostly Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey, but have all.
Disclaimers: The show is property of Dick Wolfe, and NBC. I don't own anything. Just borrowing the characters to practice my writing. Only thing I own is Season 1 DVDs and they are getting well worn. LOL
A/N: Thank you for reading this and following it. :D Please tell me how you like this? Is it okay? I wasn't liking some of it. Let me know how it is please. Leave a review. Thank you. Do you think this is how a person would feel if they couldn't remember losing a loved one? Thank you so much.
This isn't to sappy or cheesy is it? Also I couldn't post because of and ice storm in my area and I lost my phone and inter-net service for awhile.
Scenes in bold and Italic are from the show.
Matt is in his room after all the tests he had. He is eating his breakfast on his tray. It is pancakes and scrambled eggs. While he is eating everyone is out in the hallway listening to what the doctor has to say. "Go ahead and tell him. He still has some swelling but it isn't significant. So his memory should come back in a few days. He just doesn't remember what happened in the last two weeks. Give him time." Dr. Callen says as he took his leave to check on his other patients.
"I'll tell him." Kelly says to the group. Everyone agrees with him. It should be him telling Matt Casey. Matt pushes his tray away after he is finished with his breakfast and everyone comes into his room. "Where is Andy? Shouldn't he be here?" Matt asks looking around the room. He can tell there is something not being said and he wants to know what it is. Everyone waves goodbye and leaves. Kelly stays along with Leslie Shay.
"Matt I have to tell you something. You do know that you can't remember the last two weeks right?" Kelly asks. "Yes the doctors told me. They say it will come back but it will take time. Just please tell me what is going on. What am I not remembering?" Matt looks at Kelly with a beseeching look.
"Matt you know why Andy isn't here?" Kelly is floundering. Matt just looks at Kelly with his lost puppy dog look on his face waiting. "Matt, Andy died in a fire two weeks ago." Kelly just spits it out. Matt gets a surprised look and color fades from his face. He puts his hands to his head. Why can't I remember? How could I have forgotten that my best friend, my brother died?! Matt thought, feeling a headache come on.
"Matt?" Kelly questions his friend. "NO! YOU'RE LYING!" Matt yells as he pushes his breakfast tray to the floor and jumps up from his bed. "Matt!" Kelly says in surprise. "NO! HE CAN'T BE DEAD!" Matt yells out. Kelly goes up to Matt from behind as Matt starts to sink to the floor, his bad ankle sending him to the floor. Kelly is holding Matt from behind as they sit on the floor. Matt is in full denial mode. "No, it can't be true." Matt whispers shaking as Kelly hugs him. Matt rests' his head on Kelly's chest. "It can't be true. I would remember." Matt is whispering.
Nurse Olivia Bennett steps into the room to see what is going on. She sees Kelly sitting on the floor hugging Matt. Leslie Shay is cleaning up the tray pushed to the floor by Matt. She kneels down on her hunches and looks at the two firefighters hugging one another.
"Is everything okay here?" Nurse Olivia asks. "As okay as it is going to be, finding out that someone you cared about is dead." Kelly says. Matt looks at Nurse Olivia and she sees his deep sadness. "I can't remember. I would remember. How could I have forgotten?" Matt says. Nurse Olivia puts her hand on Matt's shoulder to comfort him.
"Come on Matt. I'm going to help you back in bed." Kelly stood up to help him up. Nurse Olivia stood on the other side of Matt to help. Both of them manage to get Matt back into bed. Matt turns slowly away from everyone as he faces the wall. Matt doesn't want to deal with what he found out.
"Hey Matt are you okay?" Kelly looks at his friend as he covers him up. "Please just leave. I want to be alone. I have a headache." Matt says closing his eyes refusing to let any tears fall. He doesn't want to face the truth it can't be true. How could he forget his own friend's death?
Kelly turns away from Matt as he blinks back tears at seeing Matt's pain and not being able to do anything about it. Leslie follows Kelly out the door. She puts her arm around Kelly to give her friend comfort. Nurse Olivia goes to Kelly and also puts her arm around him from the other side. "I'll keep and eye on Matt. I'll call if anything comes up. Go home and get some rest." Nurse Olivia says.
Kelly nods his head unable to speak. He hates to leave Matt but his friend can't handle the truth at the moment and doesn't want to face his friends and see the truth in their eyes. "Come on Kelly. We'll come back later. We can stop at Matt's house and grab some of his clothes and bring them in later. You can get some much needed sleep." Leslie says.
Kelly goes with Leslie and follows her to the elevators. The two get on and the doors close after a few moments and the two head toward home, as Nurse Olivia watches as she turns and heads into Matt's room to check on him.
How could I have forgotten that Andy died? Why did I forget the last two weeks? I pray that the amnesia goes away. I want my memories back, as painful as they can be. This not knowing and not remembering is so hard. Why do I have to go through it twice? Matt thought as he starts to sob into his pillow. He feels a hand on his shoulder and sees that it is Nurse Olivia checking on him.
Nurse Olivia just rubs his back as he continues to sob. "I lost my son awhile back to a drunk driver. My son Marcus was helping someone along side of the road when the drunk driver ran into him. When it happened it was such a shock. I was devastated. He was my only child. I felt such pain that I wished it would go away but I had to feel the grief. I wished at the time that I could have forgotten everything and not feel anything. I see you now and I realize that it is a blessing to have the memories. That it helps a person get through the pain just a little. Not having any memories of the loss is torture." Nurse Olivia says.
Matt sits up and clings to Nurse Olivia. She holds him in his new journey through his former path of grief felt before but no memories of it to hold onto. He is just sobbing as she holds him. Nurse Olivia seems to know how to say what he couldn't put into words at the moment. He is grateful that he isn't alone.
Nurse Olivia sees that Matt has calmed just a little. She grabs a tissue like a mother would and starts to wipe Matt's face with it. Drying his tears. She hands him a new tissue so he can blow his nose. Matt blows his nose and Nurse Olivia throws all the tissues away. She helps him lay back down. She covers him up making sure he stays warm in the cool room.
She runs her hand through his hair as his eyes close in much needed sleep. She leans down and gives him a kiss on his forehead. That is the last thing Matt remembers as sleep claims him.
CF~~~~~~~~~~~CF
Moments earlier, Kelly and Leslie step off of the elevator. Kelly slips on his sunglasses shielding his eyes from the morning sun and to hide his tears running down his face. They get to Kelly's car and get in. Kelly pulls out when it is clear and heads over to Matt's house to pick up some clothes for him.
At the house Kelly gets a bag packed for Matt. It doesn't take long for Kelly to pack a bag and he is out in his car again. Kelly heads to the apartment and he and Leslie get out of the car and go in.
Kelly heads to his bedroom upstairs and gathers some clean clothes and heads to the shower. Leslie feels empathy for Kelly as she hears the water running from Kelly's shower. She starts to make breakfast so it is ready for Kelly. Kelly finishes his shower and gets dressed and he shaves his face.
All done Kelly puts his dirty clothes in the hamper in his room and heads down to see what is for breakfast because the aroma is making him hungry. He sees that Leslie made pancakes. His favorite. He sits at the breakfast bar and digs in. Putting butter and syrup on his pancakes.
After he finishes he puts his dirty plate in the sink. Leslie doesn't say anything to Kelly. He is being quiet, not talking. She just watches her friend as he goes over to the couch after grabbing a pillow and blanket from his room and lays down.
Leslie goes over to Kelly to check on him. Tears are silently falling down his face. She gets onto her knees beside the couch not saying anything just looking at her friend. Kelly sits up with the blanket wrapped around him. He pulls Leslie up so she can sit on the couch. He covers her up. He puts his head on her shoulder as she puts her arm around him. She rubs his back.
Leslie wipes at Kelly's tears that are still falling. Leslie just holds him no words are said between the two. None are needed. A friend just being there for another when needed. Kelly slowly falls asleep. Leslie just holds him.
CF~~~~~~~~CF
Images fill Matt Casey's mind as nightmares haunt him taunting for him to remember what they mean. He is tossing and turning in his hospital bed as Kelly and Leslie walk into his room.
Kelly goes over to Matt and puts his hand on his shoulder to wake him up when, Matt suddenly sits up unexpectedly. "Easy." Kelly says, as Matt gets his bearings. The nightmares fade from Matt's mind since he doesn't remember them.
Matt just sits on the bed for the moment not saying anything just looking at Kelly. He doesn't want to face not remembering Andy's death or at times he also doesn't want to face it period.
Kelly sees Matt's closed off look not wanting to accept the truth of the situation. "Here are your clothes." Kelly says, setting Matt's bag on the chair beside the bed. "Thanks." Matt says adjusting the hospital bed so that he could lay down yet sit up.
"How are you?" Kelly sees that the light is bothering Matt. Kelly goes over and turns off the overhead light. The bedside light still on. "I'm fine." Matt answers with his trade mark saying. Kelly just gives him a look that says "Yeah right."
"I want to take a shower." Matt says. "Your ankle may not hold your weight." Kelly goes to get a nurse and ask if it is okay for Matt to take a shower. Nurse Olivia having gone home after her shift. Matt is given some crutches and he uses them as he looks in his bag and finds some sweat pants and a firehouse t-shirt.
He heads into the bathroom carefully and Kelly stands guard just in case Matt needs help. Everything goes okay and Matt finishes his shower and gets dressed. He sees he is wearing Kelly's St. Florian medallion. He doesn't remember Kelly giving it to him.
"Hey Kelly when did you give me your necklace to wear?" Matt looks at Kelly inquisitively. "We went away for a weekend and I just wanted you to remember that I'm here for you no matter what. Just give it back when you are ready." Kelly says. "Thank you." Matt says making his way to the bed with his crutches. "You're welcome." Kelly looks at Matt. "Hey Kel, I want to do something for Nurse Olivia. You have any ideas?" Matt asks. "I noticed at her house that she needed a few things fixed." Kelly says. "I could do that since I'll be off for awhile." Matt says.
Matt's doctor steps into the room to check on him and Kelly steps out of the room so he could get checked out. He is worried about Matt. He isn't facing Andy's death. He seems to be running away from it.
The doctor checks Matt out and likes what he sees and gets his release papers ready. He gives Kelly a paper with head injury signs to be on the look out for. He also told him that Matt's memory would take time to come back.
Matt is pushed to the main lobby with Leslie as Kelly goes to get his car. Kelly pulls up and Matt and Leslie get in. Kelly has and idea and heads to the cemetery to show Matt where Andy is buried. Leslie shoots Kelly a look from the backseat knowing where they are going.
Matt sees the headstones as Kelly pulls into the cemetery. He is not happy at the moment. He doesn't want to be here. "This is where Andy is buried." Kelly looks over at Matt and sees his closed off look. He can tell he is not happy about being here. Kelly and Leslie get out of the car and go over to Andy's grave which still has some fresh flowers that hadn't died yet and the rest were withering and starting to turn brown.
Matt stubbornly stays in the car. He refuses to get out. He doesn't want to deal with Andy's death yet. He is not ready to face it. His memories are locked away and he can't for the life of him make them come to the surface. He feels lost. He wants to find his way back but it is hard.
Kelly goes over and opens Matt's door. Matt glares at Kelly. He steps out but doesn't move any closer to the gravestone with his friend's name on it. Kelly goes back over to stand by Leslie. Matt has images that go through his mind. Memories that come but don't stay. He doesn't know what they mean. He refuses to ask Kelly. He isn't ready to face this. The sun is bright in the sky for late afternoon and his head is starting to hurt from and on-coming headache.
If he didn't look or go over then this reality could stay the truth for awhile even if it was a lie. Matt looks over at Kelly. He can't take anymore of this. "Please can I go?" Matt pleads. "Kelly don't make him. Lets go." Leslie says stepping over to Matt and rubbing his back with her hand. They all get back in the car. Matt is shaking and looking out the window not looking over at Kelly.
Matt gets out of the car when Kelly parks the car when they get to the apartment. All three go inside. "You're staying here with us so you're not alone." Kelly says looking at Matt who crutched over to the couch and sat down to put his foot up on the coffee table. Matt nods his head just glancing at Kelly not really looking at him.
Leslie grabs a pillow and a blanket for Matt. She sits down next to him. She covers them both up as she gets comfortable. She starts to rub Matt's back. He lays his head on her shoulder closing his eyes. The light is bothering him as his headache intensifies. Like a drum pounding in his skull.
Matt takes slow deep breathes as Leslie rubs his back. The tiredness from the hospital hitting him full force as he yawns. Leslie lays the pillow on her lap as she helps Matt lay down to rest his head on the pillow, still rubbing his back. She stretches the blanket out so it covers Matt.
Kelly watches as Leslie is comforting Matt. It is such a weird situation to be in. Having lost a friend, having felt the emotions and to suddenly not remember anything about it. To experience the pain all over again. He doesn't know if he could have handled it if he were in Matt's place. Then again Matt took Kelly's place when he pushed him from the danger in that fire. He feels for Matt. Kelly can tell He wants to remember but at the same time isn't ready to face it yet. He would be there for his friend and brother. When the need to remember got stronger then the need to push it away, then Kelly guessed that Matt would be ready at that time.
Sleep over takes Matt as his eyes closed and his breathing became even and slow. Kelly opened the refrigerator to make some dinner. He finds what he needs to start, as he begins to cook. About fifteen minutes later Kelly puts a casserole in the oven for twenty minutes. He sets the timer. Kelly sits in the arm chair near the couch and turns the TV on low as not to wake Matt up.
Leslie just keeps rubbing Matt's back, being there for a friend. She can tell Matt is out for awhile. He really must have been tired. Poor guy. Matt even sleeps through dinner. Kelly and Leslie make up a plate for Matt for later when he wakes up. Kelly puts it in the refrigerator. Kelly and Leslie eat at the bar in the kitchen.
CF~~~~~~~~~~~CF
Later that night Kelly forces his eyes open. He groggily sits up on the couch. Something woke him up. He can't figure out what woke him up. He runs his hands up and down his face trying to wake up. He hears something. It is coming from his bedroom. It must be Matt. He let Matt have his bed so he was more comfortable than on the couch.
Kelly stands up and goes up the steps heading for his room to check on Matt. Kelly finds him kneeling in the bathroom in front of the toilet vomiting. Kelly gets a wash cloth and wets it. Matt flushes the toilet and slowly stands up. He splashes water on his face and pats it dry. He rinses his mouth out with water and spits it into the sink. Kelly puts the damp wash cloth on Matt's neck. Matt uses the wash cloth to wipe his face and puts it on the sink.
Matt slowly makes his way toward the bed and sits on the end at the edge. He was dreaming or remembering. One of the two. The images don't make any sense. He doesn't know how to ask Kelly what they mean. The images flashing in his head were giving him a headache and making him sick. That is why he threw up.
"Are you okay?" Kelly looks at Matt with worry. "I have images in my head and I don't know what they mean or in what order they happened or even if they are real. I'm so confused at the moment." Matt answers holding his head in his hands. "Lets go downstairs. I don't want Shay to wake up." Kelly says. Matt nods his head. They both head downstairs. Matt goes slowly since he uses crutches.
"Do you have any ginger ale?" Matt sits on one end of the couch his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands and his eyes are closed. He wishes it would stop. Kelly walks over to the refrigerator and sees some ginger ale and pours a glass for Matt. He puts the bottle back in the refrigerator. He goes over to Matt and sets the glass on the coffee table in front of him.
Matt opens his eyes and picks up the glass and takes a sip and sets it down again. "How did A-Andy die?" Matt touches on the subject he is most scared of at the moment. Kelly sits next to Matt wondering what to say to that. Matt is shivering slightly. Kelly grabs the blanket he was using and puts it across Matt's back and around him.
"It started out like any other day. It was normal. We were heading to the fire and joking around. You said, "Hey Severide how soon can you take Darden off of my hands?" I replied back, "The day Darden makes squad is the day after I'm no longer in charge." Kelly starts out looking over at Matt.
"We get to the fire and get things ready. Andy and you go up the ladder that is on the truck, to go through the attic window. I'm downstairs doing a search for the brother of the woman outside. At this point we didn't vent yet. Over the radio you ask "Severide, do we have a vent?" Andy must have not waited. You told him; " Darden, wait!" as he breaks the glass. Andy answers with a "We're good."
Kelly looks over at Matt making sure it is okay to continue. Matt wraps the blanket around himself tighter since he is still shivering. He looks over at Kelly and nods his head. "I answer; "Casey, there is no vent!" You yell for him and say, "Darden, back out!" It is to late and Andy is through the window. Downstairs the fire rushes upstairs toward the fresh oxygen. I yell for everyone downstairs; "Get down!" I hear you scream his name. "Darden!" I hear Andy shout as the fire rushes up and out. You saw everything, Matt." Kelly pulls Matt toward himself as his friend sobs.
Matt just buries his head into Kelly's chest and sobs. He wishes he could remember. As Kelly told him the story he did get flashes of that day. Kelly just holds Matt being there for his brother. Not fully understanding the impact of not remembering does to a person but he is witness to how his friend is handling it. Matt closes his eyes tighter as and image of Andy being engulfed in the flames flashes in his mind. The last image he has of his friend.
Matt gasps as he clings to Kelly. It seems he can't get enough air into his lungs. "Matt are you okay?" Kelly's worry is fast turning into concern for his brother. Matt's breathing is getting faster as if he can't get enough air. Matt is on the verge of hyperventilating. Kelly places his hands on the sides of Matt's head. "Matt look at me. Breath with me." Kelly says, looking into Matt eyes, which are wet with tears.
Matt nods his head. Matt breathes when Kelly does. This goes on for awhile. Slow deep breathes. Matt gains control of his breathing. He leans his head on Kelly's chest as his friend supports him. "What did you remember?" Kelly questions only guessing. Matt closes his eyes. He wants to remember but he now also wants to forget. What a dilemma. "I remembered Andy being engulfed in the flames of the fire rushing out of the window toward me as I lean low and away. " Matt whispers.
Kelly tightens his hold on Matt. "I hear Andy shout and he is reaching toward me for help. All I can do is just stare and watch it happen. I-I can't do anything but watch as the flames swallow him. I couldn't help him." Matt whispers. Kelly feels Matt shaking. Kelly tightens his hold on his friend, his brother and starts to rock him back and forth.
Matt is sobbing onto Kelly's chest. He couldn't help Andy his friend, all he could do was watch. He was so close yet so far. "I couldn't reach him Kelly. He was right in front of me. He died right in front of me." Matt sobs out. "It's not your fault. You did all you could do. Andy just was being Andy. He acted first before waiting." Kelly whispers. Tears slip down Kelly's face seeing his little brother in pain and still feeling the loss of his other brother.
Kelly just holds Matt through his pain. He slowly quiets. Matt eyes get heavy with sleep. He is trying to stay awake but it is a losing battle. He feels drained from his emotional meltdown. Kelly feels Matt go limp in his arms. Kelly slowly lays Matt down on the couch. Making sure he is comfortable. Kelly places a pillow under Matt's head and covers him up.
Kelly goes up to his bedroom and heads for his closet. He sees the sleeping bag he has, grabs it out of the closet. He grabs another blanket and pillow for himself as he heads downstairs. He places the sleeping bag on the floor with the pillow and gets down on the floor and gets into the sleeping bag and lays down. He covers himself up with the blanket and gets settled. He wanted to be near just in case Matt needed him again.
Kelly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His mind is in a whirl. He prays Matt gets better quickly and that all of his memories return. So much turmoil to go through the grief a second time. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and that is the last thing he remembers before he falls into a deep sleep.
CF~~~~~~~~~CF
The next morning Leslie Shay wakes up to the sun streaming through her window. She stretches and finally gets up. She heads to the shower and gets ready for the day. She dresses into and awesome outfit she bought the other day. She pulls her hair into a ponytail and heads downstairs.
She finds Matt asleep on the couch and Kelly sleeping in his sleeping bag. Leslie goes over to the coffee pot and fills it with coffee and water and turns it on so it brews. She makes sure not to be to loud so she doesn't wake up the boys. They both looked like they needed to sleep a little bit longer.
Leslie get the ingredients to make pancakes. Soon the aroma of coffee and pancakes fills the air and Kelly begins to stir. He stretches and yawns. He sits up and looks over at Leslie who is cooking. "Good morning sleepy head." Leslie says, smiling at Kelly. He just gives Leslie a look that says talk to me later. "Okay shutting up now." Leslie says going back to cooking.
Kelly checks on Matt who still hasn't woken up. Kelly feels his forehead and he feels cool so he covers him with the blanket that he was using. Matt is still out. Kelly stands up, stretching and then bends down to fold up the sleeping bag and tie it up. He takes it back to his closet in his room along with his pillow.
Kelly throws his pillow back onto his bed. He picks out some clothes and heads to the shower. He shaves after he gets out. He feels much better. He heads back downstairs and finds a plate of pancakes waiting for him on the breakfast bar. He puts butter and syrup on his pancakes and digs in.
He looks over at Matt who now has the covers over his head. Sluggishly Matt sits up. He is not quite awake. His hair is sticking up in all directions. He has a very bad case of bed head. Matt yawns and stretches his arms out in front of himself. His eyes are gritty with sleep as he runs his hands over his face to help wake up. He stands up and sees the glass with the ginger ale from the night before and picks it up to take to the kitchen. He grabs his crutches and gets situated. He seems to amble over on his crutches, to where Kelly and Leslie are and puts the glass by the sink.
Leslie hands him a cup of coffee as he sits down next to Kelly who is still enjoying his pancakes. Kelly raises his eyebrows at Matt and replies; "Good morning sunshine." Matt just takes a sip of his coffee without pause, not saying a word after he leans his crutches next to him. He raises his cup with coffee in it at Kelly and smiles. Leslie sets a plate of pancakes in front of Matt. "Thank you." Matt smiles at Leslie and puts butter and syrup on his pancakes and takes a forkful and puts them in his mouth. Matt finishes the food and his coffee and gets his crutches and heads upstairs to get ready for the day.
CF~~~~~~~~~CF
Later Matt is downstairs as, Leslie leaves for shift at Fifty-One. Matt turns and looks at Kelly with a questioning look on his face. "I took off to spend the day with you." Kelly shrugs his shoulders, pain shooting up and down his right arm. "You alright?" Matt is concerned as he sees his friend flinch. "Yeah. It's all good." Kelly has a look on his face that says, Prove me wrong.
"You have Nurse Olivia Bennett's phone number? I want to help fix some of her things. I just need my tool box that is at the house." Matt says. "Yeah I have it. I'll call now." Kelly pushes in her number and it rings. "Hello?" Olivia Bennett asks into her phone. "Hey good morning. Matt is wondering if you would be so kind to let him fix up some things that I noticed that need fixing when you let me stay with you." Kelly says. "Yeah I'm here. Come on over." Olivia says hanging up her phone.
Kelly follows Matt as he crutches his way out to Kelly's car. Kelly jumps into the driver's side as Matt slowly gets in the passenger and buckles up. Kelly heads to Matt's house so Matt can get his tool box.
Kelly stops at the curb as Matt gets out and slowly makes his way to his front door with his crutches. Matt steps into the house and sees the new sofa, matching chair and two end tables with lights on them and the picture of, Andy, Kelly and himself in their dress blues sitting on the end of one of the fire trucks, smoking cigars and laughing. Matt sees the tool box and picks it up and places it on the table to make sure he has everything.
Matt closes it and locks it so the tools don't fall out. Matt gets a headache as he steps outside and closes his front door and locks it. He makes his way to Kelly's car and gets in. He sets the tool box on the floor of the car. Kelly notices Matt is squinting his eyes as if he has a headache.
"Hey Kelly where did my new furniture come from?" Matt asks looking over at Kelly. "Chris Herrmann, Otis, Joe Cruz, and Jose Vargas dropped it off and everyone chipped in." Kelly says, as he stops at a red light. "What about the picture of us in the picture frame?" Matt asks. "Your picture but I got the frame." Kelly says, as the light changes.
Half and hour later Kelly pulls into the driveway of Nurse Olivia Bennett's house and turns off the car. Both lieutenants step out of the car and Kelly knocks on the front door. Olivia opens the door and invites them in.
Matt sets his tool box on the kitchen table and turns to look toward Olivia. "What needs to be fixed?" Matt asks. Olivia goes outside to the back porch and points out a loose step. Matt gets to work. Both Olivia and Kelly sit at the table. Kelly isn't to good with tools, so he stays out of Matt's way.
"How is he?" Olivia asks looking at Kelly. "Well Matt is getting his rest. Last night he asked me about how Andy died. He remembered the last image he had of Andy and it isn't pretty. He saw Andy engulfed in the flames that took his life." Kelly says. "Oh how sad." Olivia says as she stands up to get three glasses and fills them with iced tea.
She hands one to Kelly and goes outside to give Matt his and comes back in to sit down across from Kelly. Matt finishes fixing the loose step and steps inside with the help of his crutches and with his empty glass. "What else needs fixed?" Matt asks Olivia. Olivia gets up and shows him all that needs fixed. Matt gets to work. Olivia goes back to the kitchen and sits down.
"Hey Kelly are you and Matt doing anything later? Do you want to stay for dinner? You can invite Leslie Shay." Olivia says. "No we're not doing anything later and thank you. Leslie is on shift at the firehouse. So she can't come." Kelly says. By Mid-afternoon Matt is finished fixing everything that Olivia showed him.
"Anything else?" Matt asks stepping into the kitchen. His headache is killing him. "No there isn't anything else. Thank you very much, Matt. Now come sit down. You have a headache don't you?" Olivia asks. Matt nods his head and he sits down and leans his crutches on the table next to where he is sitting. Olivia gets busy preparing dinner.
Matt lays his head on the table in his folded arms and closes his eyes. Kelly looks at him with worry. "Kelly have Matt lay down in the guest bedroom. If he wants to take a nap he can." Olivia says. Matt sits up and grabs his crutches and stands up as Kelly shows him where to lay down.
Matt lays down and Kelly covers him with a throw blanket that is on the rocking chair in the room. Matt closes his eyes and falls asleep. Kelly draws the blinds that is on the windows to block any light from coming in. Kelly heads to the kitchen and sits at the table. Olivia is busy making dinner. "Need any help?" Kelly asks. "Sure." Olivia says pointing out the vegetables that need chopped and washed. Kelly gets busy helping.
CF~~~~~~~~~CF
A few hours later the food is still cooking on the stove top and there is lamb in the oven baking. Kelly and Olivia are in the living room watching some TV. In the guest bedroom Matt slowly wakes up from his nap and sits up. His headache isn't as intense as before but he still has it. He grabs his crutches and stands up. He folds the throw blanket he used and puts it back on the rocking chair.
Matt heads to where the living room is and finds Kelly and Olivia watching some TV. Matt sits on the sofa next to Kelly. "Feel better?" Kelly asks. "Yeah. I still have it though but not as intense as before." Matt says. Kelly looks at Matt and can tell his head isn't aching as much. Olivia gets up to check on the food for dinner.
It is ready. She puts the mixed vegetables in a serving dish and puts it on the table. The rice pilaf is put into a serving dish and set on the table. Olivia pulls the lamb out of the oven and cuts it and puts it on a serving dish. Matt and Kelly come into the kitchen and sit at the table. Olivia sets and apple pie out that she made the other day from the fridge and puts it in the oven to take the chill off. She turns the oven lower and sets the timer as she sits down at the table.
Olivia says the grace for the meal and everyone digs in. "Thank you." Matt says enjoying the meal. "You're welcome. I don't get to cook like this much if ever. So it is a treat." Olivia says. Kelly enjoys the meal also. There isn't much talking getting done since everyone is eating.
Olivia pulls the pie from the oven and set it on the stove. Matt and Kelly wash the dishes and the pots and pans since Olivia is kind enough to cook the meal. Matt and Kelly enjoy their apple pie in the living room as they all watch a movie.
Kelly notices that Matt keeps looking over his way. He wonders what is going on. Kelly takes the dessert dishes out to the kitchen after both he and Matt finish and washes them up. Kelly and Matt get ready to leave. Matt gets his tool box and takes it out to the car. Both lieutenants give Olivia a hug and kiss. Kelly gets into the driver's side as Matt gets in the other side. They wave goodbye as Kelly backs out of the driveway and heads back to the apartment.
CF~~~~~~~~~CF
Matt sets his tool box in Kelly's room and goes back downstairs. The two were going to watch a movie. Kelly keeps seeing Matt looking at him. "What is it?" Kelly looks over at Matt. "Nothing." Matt answers afraid to ask about what the images and the scenes mean that he might be remembering.
They both finish watching the movie. "Hey Kelly is Andy's badge hanging up at the academy?" Matt looks over at Kelly. "Yeah it is." Kelly stands looking over at Matt. "May I go see it?" Matt expression isn't sure at all. "Sure. Come on." Kelly grabs his car keys and he and Matt leave to go to the academy. Kelly parks his car. He and Matt get out to go inside. Matt crutches his way inside.
Kelly walks to where Andy's badge is hanging. Matt slowly makes his way over. He turns to look in the case. Matt sees the grim reminder that Andy isn't with them anymore. No words are said. Emotions are close to the surface for both of them. Silent tears run down both their faces. Matt slowly makes his way outside to the car on his crutches. He places his arms on the roof of the car and pillows his head in them.
Kelly goes to check on Matt. Matt looks up as he hears Kelly approach the car. Both men get into the car. "You want to go see his grave?" Kelly looks over at Matt. He nods his head. Kelly heads to where Andy is buried. Kelly stops his car in the cemetery by where Andy is buried.
Both of them get out of the car. Kelly heads over first. He stands with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He doesn't rush Matt. Kelly lets him take his time in coming over. He can tell that his little brother is angry at the situation.
Matt slowly crutches his way over to the grave. He feels so angry and the grief is undeniably hard to deal with. Also hard to deal with is not having all of his memories of what he felt and went through. Why did you have to act first and not listen?! Matt thought as he wipes tears of anger and grief from his eyes.
Kelly just stands and waits for Matt seeing that he is having a hard time. Matt throws his crutches to the ground in anger and sinks to the ground on his knees his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
Kelly goes over as the sobs begin to echo in the quiet cemetery. He holds Matt in his arms being their for him. Matt lets all his pent up emotion out. He is shaking. He buries his head in Kelly's chest. Kelly just holds him.
Finally the storm of emotion as passed. Kelly stands up and gives a hand to Matt. Kelly picks up the crutches for Matt and hands them to him. Both head to the car and get in. Kelly heads to the firehouse for both himself and Matt. To be with others who understand a little bit about the pain of loosing someone.
CF~~~~~~~~CF
Kelly pulls to a stop at the firehouse. Matt looks over at Kelly as he gets out. Both of them head inside Firehouse fifty-one. Over the loud speaker someone says, "Fellow firefighter in the house." "Hey Casey!" Herrmann says seeing his lieutenant. Kelly is behind Matt. Both sit down at the beloved squad table as Soot the cat runs toward Matt.