Okay, so you're probably all mad because I haven't updated in over a month, and I'm sorry but after Spring Break things really went crazy at school. Pair that up with writers block, and well you've got the power to kill a story. Luckily, I've finally got this chapter ready for everyone, though before you start to read I'm going to warn you, this is a dirty chapter. It's full of dirty, immature humor, which might offend some people, so read at risk.
"Alright Georgie what's the plan?" I asked, tripping into a seat as Ringo, Cher and George took their places beside me. George's face grew a sly grin and he narrowed his eyes at me. I frowned and said as seriously as I could,
"George are you going to help set up revenge, or are you going to sit there eye raping me?" We all laughed, not because it was funny, but because the thought of George finding me attractive enough to risk legal action was.
"What are you talkin' about Peg, you eye rape more than anyone I know!" George replied.
"Since when?"
"I can barch for him you know, remember that tall fellow with the wavy hair, you know, the one with the bike and the fancy leather-Teddy I think it was. Well anyway, she kept her eye on the prize the whole time. I don't think she even glanced above his waist for a second." Ringo went on, me blushing wildly the whole time. It was of course true, but I wasn't going to admit it, to do that would be a death sentence, and so would over reacting and insisting otherwise. George's grin grew and Cher looked doubtful.
"Wait, seriously?" Cher looked to me, a flicker of surprise, but mainly amusement on her face.
"Well while I'd love to hear everyone exchange funny Peggy stories, even John doesn't take that long on the john." I said it firmly enough for everyone to turn their attention back to the task at hand.
"She's right, okay so we'll need to split up. Ringo and Peggy, congrats you're now a pair." George ruled, getting to business.
"Hey! That's no fair! I don't want the kid! It should be boys and girls." Ringo objected. "Plus I helped you think of-"
"Shh- Ringo, relax, man. Listen Peggy and Cher need men to show them how to-"
"HEY!" Cher and I both exclaimed at once.
"What? It's true, you're both simply too nice." George said innocently. Before I could elbow George, Cher whipped around and slapped him hard on the cheek, enough to leave a small hand print.
"How dare you say such crap! Too nice huh!" She shouted, clearly upset that George, her George, who usually supported her so much would say such a thing. It was the first time I'd seen them fight.
"Oh come on Cher, he didn't mean it, plus I want to be with Peggy anyway." Ringo was trying to smooth things over and I took the hint.
"Yeah, me and Ringo make a good team honest." I added. I knew George had just blew it with his dumb remark. I couldn't figure out why George would make a stupid move like that. I knew he knew Cher enough to know better than to say such crap. Then it hit me. It was all to be alone with her. He wanted to be partners with Cher, and he'd have said anything to make sure it happened that way.
Cher looked at George and shook her head. "Okay then, fine. I don't know what's gotten in you lately George, if it's about Shelia, then it's stupid. I don't care, I really don't. Go ahead and shag whoever you'd like, but don't be putting me in the same mindless category."
George just sort of sat there all shocked and me and Ringo shared a concerned look. We certainly didn't want to know George's personal stuff, or at least I didn't. Cher seemed to catch how uncomfortable everyone was because she quickly spoke up again.
"Alright everyone, fine, I'm with George, Ring's with Peg. Now what are we doing exactly?"
George's grin returned and his eyes narrowed. "Alright firstly, Peggy eat these peanuts."
"Aw why do I have to be the one who has to eat everything?" I complained taking the bag of peanuts.
"Because you like to eat." George explained.
"So do you."
"Well I hate nuts so there."
"Ha, sure about that Harrison, because that's not what you said the other night." Ringo snorted. I laughed.
"Oh shut up would you." George laughed, hitting Ringo softly. "Like I was saying, Peggy's going to eat those nasty airport peanuts."
"They taste like shoelaces." I muttered.
"See, you would know." George said to shut me up. "And then she's going to spit them out and put 'em back in this bag, and then she's going to give them to John. Got that Peggy?"
"Yep." I nodded, I had been eating them, (because...because well I was hungry so there) but I stopped and resorted to sucking on them and spitting them back into the other empty bag George had given me. I hoped John ate every last one of them.
"Prefect, you're doing a good job Peggy. Alright Ringo, you brought the honey right?" George asked.
Ringo nodded. "You should've seen the look I got at customs." He pulled out a jar of honey.
"Great, now you're going to pour it on Paul. Get him good, especially in his hair. Try to stick him to his chair if you could. Have Peggy help you if you need her to. Oh and I brought a bunch of honey, it's in my bag by my seat if you need more." George instructed.
"Gotcha." Ringo nodded, taking the honey and skipping almost, to Paul who was fast asleep. I tried to hold back a laugh.
"Less giggling more spittin'." George reminded me.
"Bleh." I poked out my tongue at him and he only rolled his eyes. "What are you and Cher gonna do?" I mused.
"Well that's for me to know, Cher to find out, and you to be entertained by." George told me, getting up and motioning for Cher to follow.
"What about the stewardess?" Cher wondered.
"Trust me, after all the shit we're doin', her job 'ill be hell." George winked at Cher and she blushed a little.
"Well let's get going then!"
"Right." George agreed. "Keep sucking Peg, suck as hard and good as you-"
A couple walking throws the other compartment of the plane gave George a utterly horrified look and made some comment about "Musician's these days and their kid's for lovers."
"No, it's not that-" George started, but they were gone. I laughed some more.
"Stop laughing, that's gross, you'll get them everywhere." George snapped pointing to the peanuts on the ground. Then he stopped paying attention to me.
"Okay, Cher?" He looked to Cher who'd been watching Ringo pour honey over the sleeping Paul with interest.
"Yeah?" She wondered.
"I've got some idea's, but it's sort of a secret so um, let's go." George motioned for her to follow him, and I watched them walk off into the other compartment of the plane where the roadie's where.
I then continued spitting out peanuts and thinking about Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis's thirteen and fourteen year old girlfriends. I was glad I was British and didn't have to worry about anyone being creepy with me in the band. Then again I honestly might consider sagging Elvis if we where close and all-nah only Buddy, if he was alive. But then again Buddy wouldn't be interested or creepy enough to ask.
Because Buddy was prefect compared to those other two slobs. That's why he was the one dead. When your biggest celebratory crush is a dead man, life sucks. You wouldn't know, but it does.
"Ooo peanuts, gimme some Peg!"
John had finally came out of the toilet, and sure enough, my bag of peanuts were all pre-swallowed and ready for him. I narrowed my eyes to him. He hadn't even noticed Paul, who was now covered in honey, thanks to mainly Ringo(I helped a little), who'd shifted seats to sit next to Cynthia for safety reasons(if you knew Paul, you'd understand this statement). Cher and George still weren't back, and Ringo had a theory that they were screwing each other in the second class bathroom. I didn't believe him, but I was curious as to what they were doing.
"No." I told John shortly. If I just gave them to him, it's be out of character and he'd know something was up.
"Come on, quit being a pig Peggy. Shit we should call you Piggy for now on." John scoffed, taking a seat next to me. This was going perfectly. I scooted away from him.
"You ain't getting any of these peanuts. They're the premium kind, I paid a whole quarter for them." I stated coldly. John chuckled meanly.
"And I technically paid for your fair, so," He grabbed the peanuts from me quickly. "These are mine."
I pretended to be annoyed and sad. "Come on John, don't be such a dick. Give 'em back won't you?"
"Nope." John sighed happily, enjoying my unhappiness and popped one, then two into his mouth. After his fifth, he turned to me grinning from ear to ear.
"These really are premium, I'm impressed. They have some sort of seasoning over them or something, but they are really good. Betcha wished you still had them." John laughed, shoving a handful in his mouth. I played along.
"Don't rub it in Lennon." I grumbled.
"Look who's a saddy waddy iddle piggy Peggy." John laughed. "Here Ringo, Cyn, try these things." He offered them to Cyn and Ringo both knowingly accepted them, and waited until John had turned back to me to toss them on the ground, rather than in their mouths.
"Gee Peggy, it must suck to be you eh? I'd give you some, but that figure of yours doesn't need it, and I don't think they film the interviews in cinema scope. I do wonder what the secret to these puppies are though, I usually don't care for peanuts."
"Oh it's a simple secret Johnny, trust me." I mused. John's eyes instantly narrowed and he stopped eating the peanuts.
"Oh really smart one? What is it then?"
"My spit. My dirty, gross, fat, slobber. And you literally sucked it up like it was cake batter." I said, not missing a beat, and cracking up as he began spitting out any peanuts he'd had in his mouth, muttering cusses.
"Why you little bitch!"
"Ha ha ha, nice one Peggy." Ringo laughed, standing up in his seat. Cynthia joined in.
"You should've saw your face John." She laughed.
"I got you!" I hollered. "I did Lennon. I creamed you!"
John shook his head, mixed up at being the victim of someone else's prank, especially mine.
"It wasn't your idea." He growled. "I know it wasn't. It was George, we were just talking about how I'd rather lick the ground of a public restroom, than touch your spit. Plus he's brilliant like that."
I was a bit disappointed that he knew it was George, but I was interested that they'd talked about me when I wasn't around.
"When did that come up?" I wondered.
"Oh when he was asking who I'd rather make out with, you, or this hobo we saw in France." John said thoughtlessly. "I think I'll have to burn my tongue now." He added.
"Wait until you see Paulie." Cynthia told him. "He's just back there sleeping."
"Hhpmpt." John walked right through me in a thug like fashion and went to Paul's row. I followed. Ringo and Cynthia turned around to face behind them so we where all admiring Ringo's handy work.
Paul had spread himself lazily and selfishly across the entire row of seats, and he wasn't all curled up, but just out their, in the open, arms dangling out , and his feet in some weird angle, that made him look more like he'd fallen from a building than fallen asleep. Well fallen into a puddle of gooy piss.
Ringo had covered Paul in honey, so much of it, that I figured he was stuck to the seat. His prized hair, which he'd jacked up in his sleep was sticking out every which way, only now thick globs of honey were plastered in it. George was right when he said we'd get the stewardess back just by playing the pranks we'd had, it's be hard to get that seat back to normal.
"Ringo, you are my new best Beatle. You my friend are a genius." John whispered impressed.
Ringo shrugged. "It was mostly George." He admitted. "It was his idea."
John smiled. "I've taught the little boy well." He studied Paul a little more, before dumping the rest of the peanuts on him.
"There, that's how you do it, now it's prefect." John said looking to the rest of us. We nodded and giggled in agreement. "Where is George anyway?"
"Fucking"
"Pranking Neil with Cher."
Ringo and I both looked shocked at each others different answers, and John looked amused. Cynthia was frowning and before John could ask her what the big deal was, a loud scream came from the middle class compartment. It was followed by more commotion, and sure enough George and Cher, grinning and laughing burst back into our compartment, in the same fashion as the girls mauled us after concerts.
But before they could reach us, Paul woke up, I guess he must've heard the scream to.
"Mut the gell?! Eh but's if the oney. Uh luck is bis?! Lime han't oove! Lime huck! Kelp! Kelp tea!"
(Translation I think: What the Hell?! Hey what's with the Honey? The fuck is this? I can't move! I'm stuck! Help! Help me!)
Paul couldn't talk right with his mouth almost stuck together, and it was a sad, but hilarious sight to see him well up with pain and struggle to move. Well at least it was all fun, until the stewardess came out and yanked us away and took us to sit in some crappy seats near the front of the plain were everyone else could watch us.
So cruddy ending, I know, I just got impatient and really wanted to post this baby before everyone thinks I'm dead. I hope you like it a little because, well it is chapter number nine and, number nine, number nine, number nine. (Sorry I had too, and please never listen to Revolution Nine backwards at night, you'll never sleep again. Also don't look up teenage car crashes of the 1950's because car crashes were brutal and gory back then.) I'm writing a novel this month and am trying to focus on that, so if I don't post, I'm writing something else. (And just so you all know I'm not planning on killing everyone in a car crash, at least not in this story, that's saved for my poor novel victims who decided it's be nice to drag race at a sharp curve while it was raining going about 80kph)
Crash Solar: Your the best BFM ever and I loved your latest chapter of Reasons to Smile. If for some reason you guys haven't read that, go over and read it right now, because it's wayyy better than this silly little story. I'm glad you enjoy the fact I included Julia in the flash back, because I was iffy about it. But it goes with the story, and the fact that Peggy and Julia liked and knew each other, is a bit of why John treats her like he does. George definitely knew how to pull some pranks, and I wanted to make sure someone pulled something on John at least once, and George would know just how to do it. And the boys were jerks sometimes, which is part of why I'm always making them harsh. I don't want anyone to feel bad for Peggy, and I know the boys wouldn't give her any breaks, she's too tease-able.
Somewhere Girl: You can't have the sixties without the Twlight Zone! Lol. They did have somewhat good T.V shows back then, and I thought I ought to include that. I'm glade that you like Peggy and that she's like a real person, I love realism, and am always doubting my characters are realistic.
George Is Mine: Glad you liked the chapter and "I'm Gonna Set My Foot Down" is a favorite of mine too(and Peggy's, though she's never meant a Holly record she didn't like). I thought it'd fit with the threat of revenge in the chapter, though it might have worked better as a title for this chapter.
Princess Paulie:(If you're a Paul fan like me, then reading this chapter probably stung a little, because writing it stung a lot) I'm glad Peggy's becoming more confident, I don't want her morphing into a woe is me character, though I can't write her without her being teased. I'm glad you liked the guitar scene too, I honestly thought it was a bit over the top, but wanted to add it.
Anyways thanks for reading all of you who've dared, and please review if you would.(Pretty Please with a honey covered young Paul McCartney on the top.)
Today's sixties references off the top of my head where Mods and Rockers(Teddy's a rocker if you knew to notice) which we'll get into more soon, and Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis. Elvis fell in love with Priscilla Wagner who was Peggy's age at the time(14) and Jerry married his young 13 year old cousin(talk about creepy!). So no, Peggy being fourteen and hanging around with the Beatles wasn't too scandalous, though if it were true, I'm sure the press would write it in the same category.