Hey all! sorry it has been awhile, but hopefully you all are still with me! Thank you all for the encouragement! you all are the best=)
After her confession, she had cried herself to sleep on his chest. He stared down at her sleeping form an could see that even in sleep she wore a guarded expression. He tightened his hold on her thinking of how he could help her heal.
His heart had broken at her confession of not knowing how to love, anyone else or herself. The fact that her own mother had sent her to this point outraged him. How could a mother do that? His own mother had been the most caring and supportive woman he knew. The fact that she was gone still stung at times, and none more so knowing that Elsie's mother, the damnable woman she was, was still alive. He had always wondered why she never went home, but now it was perfectly clear to him why.
He knew he needed to court her. Woo her. But all he really wanted to do was dig out the ring that had been his mothers, and propose to her at that very moment. He could picture her in a white gown, walking down the aisle. He guessed he would meet her sister then. He would also have to meet her mother. It would take all his strength not to strangle the woman, or for that matter, Elsie's father. But, once he married her, she wouldn't have to live in fear any longer. He would ensure that no one laid a hand on his wife ever again.
The thought of her being his wife thrilled him. The thought of being able to wake up beside her watch her get ready every morning, was almost more than he could handle. He could picture the way she would look carrying their child. He smiled. She was the one person he could picture like that. He wanted that, but only with her. A little girl that looked like her. A little boy with her eyes and his hair. He could see them now at Christmas time, and Easter. Birthdays. He could see it all.
He would have to speak to Lord Grantham in the morning first thing. And he hoped for the best. But for now he had to content himself with the imaginings of the life he would have regardless of how that discussion went.
She awoke before he did. She looked at his face, remembering the look of utter devotion he had given yesterday after her emotional outburst. She felt a little embarrassed but, more than that she felt safe. For the first time in forever, she knew what it was like to not have to do it on her own. And what's more, she liked the feeling. She hoped he had meant what he said. She didn't know if she could handle him leaving.
But she didn't think he would. The thought warmed her soul. She could picture their lives together. In a cottage, with a cat. A black cat with a white nose and four white paws. She could imagine having a little girl with his eyes and her hair. But then she stopped at that. Her a mother? What if she turned into her mother? What if it was passed down? She couldn't do that to them.
She felt him stir and he kissed her forehead.
"Good morning, love." He murmured, in a voice thick with sleep.
"Good morning, my man" she said back.
His face lit up in a grin, and she thought that maybe, just maybe that with Charles by her side, she could be the mother she had always wanted.
Thank you for reading! Let know what you think=)
Much love-
Samantha
ps- the characters are not mine! they belong to fellowes