Gokudera was next to me when I woke up the next morning. He had fallen asleep, but I wasn't mad at him because he stayed with me like I asked him to. True, I only expected him to stay with me until I fell asleep, but he went above and beyond for me, so I couldn't complain.

I stretched, trying to be careful to avoid hitting him in the head but failing, "Oops, sorry,"

He blinked at me a few times to make sure he was awake before responding, "No, it's my fault, I should have left after you fell asleep,"

I blushed, "Well, I'm glad you stayed,"

He sensed the impending but in my voice, "But?"

The blood rushed past my cheeks to my entire face, "Why did you stay?"

He sighed and sat up slowly, "You looked very peaceful, but there was a troubled air about you,"

I studied him for a second, "You didn't want me to wake up in terror again, did you?"

He moved to get up, but I grabbed his arm to stop him and he gave me a look I couldn't quite place, "What does it matter to you why I did what I did?"

I looked down, trying to come up with something myself, "Because, I care about you,"

"Yeah, well, I don't need your sympathy," He snapped.

"Gokudera-"

"Ashura, don't bother with me," He cut me off.

"Why?" I started to cry for no apparent reason.

"Becuase I'm not worth it," He grumbled, "I mean, you have to worry about that cow,"

"Hayato," I was powerless as he pulled away and left, causing my life to crumble and shatter instantly around me.

I curled up into a ball and just cried into my pillow. Stupid Gokudera! Stupid, stupid, stupid, that's what he was. He was a stupid jerk.

Wait, what had he done that was so stupid? A voice in my head asked.

He abandoned me when I was trying to reach out to him! I told myself.

Well what was I trying to reach out to him for in the first place? The voice countered.

He's my friend. I thought honestly.

You have Lambo. You don't need friends. The voice told me shadeily.

I want them. Besides, it's not like Gokudera is my only friend. I defended myself against myself.

Seems like you want more than friendship from him. The voice prodded.

That's ridiculous! It's nothing like that! I told myself sternly.

You can tell that to everyone else, but you can't lie to yourself. The voice vanished suddenly and I found myself back in that ball, crying my eyes out.

A full week had past, and I had only moved from the bed to use the rest room. I don't know why, but my spirit had broken. I refused to eat, I only slept and cried, and I would not talk to the several who tried to cheer me up. No, I doubted that even Mukuro could get me to move at this point. I was hopelessly lost and depressed.

"Ashura, come on, you have to eat. You look horrible," Bianchi sat next to me, offering some of her cooking.

Poison cooking, now that sounded tempting, but still, there was a chance it wouldn't work like I wanted it to, so I turned my head away.

"Ashura, what did he do to you?" Bianchi asked not me, but herself as she stood to leave, "Once I find that boy, heaven help him,"

So, Hayato was MIA? Can't say that I blame him any for leaving, but I couldn't help but wonder why he left. Was it because of what had happened? No, I'm just setting myself up for more pain if I think that. No, more likely he was running away to save his own skin. I wanted to think better of him, and I did, but this is the only thing I can come up with that hurts the least.

"So, how is she?" Chrome asked Bianchi just outside my still open door.

Bianchi just shook her head, "It's not looking good,"

"It's all my fault!" Chrome felt horrible for something that wasn't her fault at all, the poor girl.

"No, I don't know what happened, but I can assure you that it isn't your fault at all," Bianchi then realized that my door was open, so she closed it and I could hear no more of the conversation.

So, even Bianchi blamed him. That poor boy, it wasn't his fault at all. It was mine, but because I stayed and he left, it looked like his. If only I had the strength, no, the will to tell them otherwise....

I woke up again that night, but I wasn't alone. My brother was sitting on the floor next to my bed, waiting for me to wake up. He had done that a lot during all this, so that wasn't the surprising part. No, what shocked me was seeing him with Lambo. It looked like Dino-nii was waiting for me to wake up and to use the ten year bazooka on Lambo.

"Ashura-chan, if anything can help, this is it," He stood up and fired the bazooka at Lambo, causing him to age ten years for five minutes, "I'll leave you two alone,"

"Ashura, I just want you to listen to me," He paused for me to nod in agreement, "Do you remember when we first met? No, I'm sure you don't. Well, the first time when met on that day, I got you hurt,"

My eyes widened. No, that couldn't be right, could it? No, Lambo would never hurt me!

"You doubt me, but it's true. You don't remember a whole about your past, right? Some things just happened suddenly and some events are hazy, right? Well, there's a reason. During your time with Mukuro, you came up with a split personality to cope with everything he put you through. My point is, you, or rather the other you emerged at the same time as I came from the future. Yes, it was really love at first sight, but for both of you. The other you was too much, so I rejected her. She ran off, but by the time I caught up with her, she was you again, and the enemy critically hurt you. If only had had more tact to wait, you wouldn't have gotten hurt,"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I was too deep in this desolence to even pay attention to the implications of what he just said.

"She can talk. Well, My point is, when I found you, I fell in love with you, and only you. You were so kind, but obviously strong. Anyways, I knew it could not and would not work, so this time I used tact. Do you remember what I told you?"

It was coming back to me now, "You told me that you did like me, but it was stupid to fruitlessly devote myself for ten years while I waited for you to grow. You told me that you wanted me to live life and fall in love, and if I still loved you and was single, then you'd happily take me as yours,"

"And I still feel the same. You lying here like this is exactly what I wanted to protect you from. I know from what I was told during this week, you love Gokudera, but I got in the way. I don't want to hurt you anymore, but I know that in the long run, this will be for the best," He looked at me sadly.

"Lambo, you're not breaking up with me, are you?" I started to cry anew.

"I'm sorry," He frowned, truly feeling terrible, and poofed back into his child form.

Just before Lambo could open his mouth, Dino was back in my room to get him. I stared at him harshly, letting him know I was upset.

"Did you ask him to do that?" I yelled at him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked after setting Lambo outside and closing the door so we could talk in private.

"Did you know that he was going to break up with me?" My voice only grew louder with each word.

Dino looked at me blankly. I knew that he wanted to say something to me, but clearly he was having second thoughts about it. I knew it was something big, or at least something I didn't want to hear, but we both knew I had to hear it.

Yeah, this may have come as a total shock and may put off some of you readers, but I have two reasons for doing this. One, an anime that I watched very late one night (For about a week), and it is good to mix things up, which I rarely do in my fics. I wasn't really planning on the whole split personality thing, but I was thinking about it, and because I was watching Mukuro, I really wanted to put him in more, so here's my means. Sorry, but thanks for reading! Get the word out!!

Oh, the reason this is getting updated twice in one day is because of my previously mentioned computer problems. Oh, and part of this fic was also planned! See, I told you I'd go into more detail about her Lambo later.