A/N: Thought I'd write a story in Mulder's POV, his thoughts while Scully is gone in season 2 (the abduction arc).
X Files doesn't belong to me.
The office is quiet. When we work together...when we used to, it was quiet then, too, but not like this. Then it was a gentle quiet, I could hear her typing on her keyboard, the rhythmic typing sound. I could feel us thinking, both deeply engrossed in our work. Sometimes I leaned back and looked at her, those glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, sometimes with her chin in her hand, studying something on her laptop. She is...was, so adorable.
One time she caught me looking at her. "What do you want?"
"Nothing," I replied.
"Well, then what are you looking at?"
"A pretty redhead." she rolled her eyes.
"Be quiet, Mulder." she kept her eyes on her computer screen, not even looking over to give me a glare like I expected. I chuckled and returned to my work.
I think of that now, sitting in my office alone. I have things to do, but I don't want to do them. Years ago, before I met her, I did nearly everything alone, and I liked it. But now...she's gone, and I have to do things alone, and I don't like it. Because she's gone.
She's gone, oh God, she's gone and I don't know if I'll ever get her back. I keep telling myself that I will but really I don't know if I will and the chances are so slim. I've had so much faith over the years and I've always had faith in Scully. I've always known she'll make it all turn out alright, because she's Scully. Now, I still have that faith, but it's weaning and that scares me more than I'd like to admit. The fact that I may never see Scully again is too much to bear.
I'm crying now, for the first time since she's left. I've held it in until now and it's become too much and I'm sobbing all over this goddamn paperwork because I just want her back, I want to argue with her and see those beautiful blue eyes and the freckles on her nose, and I want to see her smile and hear her voice. Oh, God.
My tears begin to dry and as I try to compose myself it dawns on me that I love her.
It's been two years now and I guess I should've realized it earlier, but now it's just coming to me, that I really do love her, and not just in a I-wanna-kiss-you-and-maybe-do-some-naughty-things-to-you way (though that may be apart of it. I don't confirm or deny.). No, I really love her, in a I-wanna-snuggle-with-you-and-wake-up-with-you-every-morning way. Did she know that? How much I felt for her?
Wherever she is, and I plan on figuring that out, I hope she knows. Above everything else, I hope she knows. And I hope that maybe just a little, she feels the same way.
A/N: I'm not used to writing these sort of stories, so forgive me. Also, sorry it's short, I'm tired but I wanted to write something tonight. Thanks for reading!
-Lulamae