Chapter 8: Wide Awake

If I could, through myself, set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away, see you break, break away
Into the light, through the day

So let it go and so to fade away
To let it go and so fade away

Wide awake, I'm wide awake
I'm not sleeping, oh no, no, no
I'm not sleeping – Bono

". . . and I may be petty or whatever else you want to call me, but I'm a winner and that's something you'll never be."

She never wanted to hit a person more than she did at that moment. Even when she bashed the kneecaps of Abby's ex, it was more of an intellectual exercise. They needed to get away from the monster so she picked up the tire arm and made short work of his ability to walk. And if Big Jerry wasn't a Senator and former Governor, if she didn't think that would send a sensational round of tabloid news stories about Fitz's campaign manager beating the crap out of his father, she just might do it. Instead, she just glared at him, willing his slow and painful death. Fitz's father abruptly turned and made his escape from the Ohio State University conference center.

His back was facing her and he looked like a little boy watching his father leave. "Fitz, don't listen to him. You did a fantastic job. You won this debate." She hoped he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

He straightened up and turned around. "I know I did. I won this debate," he repeated clearly. "So, what's next? I think we've got some interviews set up, right Cy?" He appeared confident and relaxed and his smile reached his eyes when he looked at Liv. She started to feel a glimmer of hope that they could actually pull this off. Just then, Huck called with more information about Reston's time as District Attorney. He had information that he would email her and she would be going back to the hotel to work on it. "I'm good, Livvie. I'll see you later," he promised with a knowing smile.

She got to the hotel and checked messages at the front desk. "Oh, these flowers just arrived for you." She knotted her brows, a puzzled smile on her face, wondering for a moment if they were from Fitz.

She took the unsigned card.

"Congratulations on the debate, Olivia.

But remember John 2:15."

She looked up the biblical reference on her phone. "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you." They were never a religious family, the only time they went to church was at Christmas or Easter, but she knew exactly who it was from.

Fucking bastard.

"Be in their world, but not a part of it. Don't forget who you are, Olivia," she could hear her father's voice ringing in her ears. She was on the verge of making a President and her father was telling her that it wasn't good enough. Not good enough for him at least. She looked around the lobby and felt a moment's panic. Was he here? She hadn't seen him since he almost had Edison killed. Did he know about Fitz? No, she concluded, or if he did he wasn't doing anything about it. This was just a friendly reminder that he still existed.

She let out a steady breath to calm herself and was just about to get on the phone when she heard Big Jerry's voice. "You know it's not enough. Maybe if he had actually done what we had suggested, he could turn things around. But some sad appeal to patriotism won't be enough to change the outcome of this election."

"Your opinion is not needed or wanted here anymore, Senator Grant." The old man didn't know how close he was to getting physically hurt, but Liv kept her cool. "You can go back to California and relive your glory days and when he wins, maybe we'll find you a seat at the Inauguration if he's feeling generous."

Big Jerry's eyes widened with surprise and he let out a hearty laugh. "Well, you're a feisty thing, aren't you? Oh, I get it now." His eyes wantonly examined her from head to foot. "Yes, it makes sense. You were definitely his type before he met Mellie."

She curled her lips in disgust. "You are sick. He's not you."

Big Jerry just laughed again and shook his head. "You care too much, Ms. Pope. It's a dead giveaway." He became solemn; his cold blue eyes met hers. "He'll disappoint you, you know. He can't help it. It's in his nature." He stuck out his hand for her to shake. She didn't take it. He dropped his hand and suddenly he looked ancient and tired. He gave a polite smile. "Until we meet again."

Be in their world, but not a part of it, Olivia.

She had quite enough of fatherly advice this evening. After the conclusion of the debate, they had a small celebration at the Columbus, Ohio headquarters. Fitz was surrounded by staff telling stories and jokes. She found Cyrus in the corner, his expression tight. He got the latest flash polls; they were good for Fitz, but not good enough. He wanted a late night session with Hollis and Verna. "Not tonight, Cyrus," she firmly stated. "We are not doing this tonight." Cyrus threw up his hands and stalked out of the headquarters.

Fitz came up to her. He had alcohol on his breath, but he wasn't the angry drunk he was a couple of weeks ago. He seemed happy. "You know, it's going to be ok, Livvie. However the chips fall, we know that we ran a clean campaign." A part of her wanted to shake him, to say that they were losing, and that a clean campaign meant nothing if they lost. That was the fixer in her, but the lover. Ah yes, the lover just wanted to support him, to let him be happy. Tonight she would be the lover.

He bent down and whispered in her ear, "I want you right now. Let's get out of here." She chatted with a few staffers as she made her way out of the room. About five minutes later, Fitz thanked everyone for their help and support and then left the headquarters as well.

All she was wearing a Grant for President t-shirt when she answered his knock in her hotel room. He slipped inside and closed the door. "I like your shirt," he smirked.

"It seems like it's the only thing in my wardrobe these days." She quickly lifted her shirt and flashed him. She turned and ran away from him, but he grabbed her by the waist and threw her on the bed as she laughed vigorously. He laughed as well, but then grew serious as he interlaced his fingers with hers and held her hands over her head; his tongue plunging the depths of her mouth. He then moved to the side of her neck and nibbled on her ear which made her purr like a kitten. He took one of his hands and held both of hers while his other one slowly outlined the right side of her body from the tips of her fingers to the indention of her hips. His hand cupped her bare ass, pulling her towards him so she could feel his erection. He groaned as she grinded her hips against him.

She slipped her hands away from his and sat up. He was kneeling in front of her. She caressed the side of his face and gazed into his eyes before kissing him again. She started to unbuckle his belt while he unbuttoned and removed his shirt. She pushed down his pants and underwear, exposing his already hard cock and firm buttocks. She gave his tip a playful kiss while she stroked his shaft repeatedly. She then sucked him hard, tasting his pre-cum and squeezing his butt cheek, her eyes never leaving his. He ran his fingers through her hair as she bobbed up and down on him. She released him and he reached down to kiss her, tasting himself on her tongue.

He then flipped her on her stomach, entering her from behind. He twisted her clit between his fingers while his other hand rubbed the length of her back as they found their rhythm. When they reached their climax, he lay spent on top of her for a moment before rolling them both to the side. He pulled her tighter in his embrace, kissing the side of her neck and cupping her breast.

She heard him eventually doze off, but she was too wired.

She was wide awake.

They got Fitz out of his wet clothes and bundled him up so he didn't go into hypothermia. He switched places with Twitchy in the rover for the day to get out of the cold for a bit. This suited Liv fine, she needed to put a little distance between herself and Fitz after that kiss. Still, she made sure that he was tucked in with the blankets on the passenger side before she mounted her horse. She was about to shut the door, when he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. His week old beard tickled her skin and his eyes shone brightly in the midday sun. "Thanks for saving my life, Livvie." He gave her a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

She felt flustered, but she didn't pull her hand away. "I guess we're even now," was all that she could get out.

"I guess so," he sighed. He wanted to be her hero, but perhaps they could be each others.

Liv slowly retracted her hand and closed the door. Twitchy stood by the horse and gave Liv a strange stare. She ignored it as she climbed the horse and helped the young woman get on it as well. The rover took off and they followed in its wake. Twitchy started talking about anything that crossed her mind, which was her habit. She told stories of her childhood, most of which Liv had already heard a thousand times before. Liv listened absently, still thinking back on the kiss and how she thought Fitz was dead for a moment. "I think you should have sex with him," Twitchy said out of the blue.

Liviana's mouth hung agape for a moment before she quipped, "Thank you for your opinion, Twi, I'll take it under advisement."

Twitchy missed the sarcasm. "Good! He seems he would be a nice person to have sex with and it's been far too long for you." She gave Liv a bewildered look and continued, "I think the last time was Lewis and that was long before he died!" Liv didn't need to be reminded about that awkward one night stand. Lewis was fine, if a little boring but for some reason he concluded one night meant that they should get married or something. Liviana put an end to any notion of that fast.

"We're not having this conversation." Liv's tone made it abundantly clear that she would entertain no more talk of her potential lovers.

Twitchy made a disappointed sound before moving on to another topic. "So, why do you think this General person is after you? Maybe he wants you for a special task," the young lady speculated.

"I doubt that. You don't send a bounty hunter after a bounty hunter just for a mission." She couldn't help but conclude that the General only wanted her for an ominous purpose.

"Spin thinks it might have something to do with Texas." Twitchy gave her a surreptitious glance.

"Maybe," was all Liviana would say. She never discussed Texas. Not with Twitchy. Not with anyone. Spin was the only one who knew the whole story.

It was slow progress that day; a light snow shower made Liv worry about the Eastern pass even more. It was still very early in the season and she had no doubt it would warm up soon to free the pass at least one more time.

Fitz was more than ready to escape the confines of the rover when they finally set up camp for the night. Spin was a terse companion. Fitz couldn't really get any more information about Liv from him. Spin tried half-heartedly to gain more knowledge about the General, but overall lacked basic communication skills to ask the right questions. Spin made vague machismo threats that if Fitz hurt Liv he would pay for it. Fitz wasn't too impressed although a part of him appreciated that Spin was looking out after Liv.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face after seeing her again. He didn't think he ever tasted anything sweeter than the kiss she gave him. She smiled back, but then quickly busied herself with making dinner which consisted of two rabbits she and Twitchy caught. It was no deer, but it kept the hunger at bay. He wanted to talk to her about earlier that day. Actually, he didn't really want to talk, he just wanted to jump back to where they left off. She handed him flat bread that they had from their supplies. He thanked her and the tips of his fingers lingered on the palm of her hand.

His touch felt like a firebrand and made her tingle right to her very core. This has got to stop. "Look, about this morning . . . I was really happy that you turned out to be alive and I just got caught in a moment."

He gave a rueful smile; he knew she'd try to back out of it. "I'm really happy to be alive too, but it was more than a moment for me. I like you, Livvie and I think you like me." His eyes returned to her lips, the memory of them burned into his flesh. She subconsciously licked them and he could immediately feel the rush of blood to his groin.

A part of her just wanted to throw caution to the wind and reach over to him and give him another kiss. But how much did she really know about him? And if it did lead to something more, what then? Life was hard, fleeting and brutal and it was easier if she remembered that. "I think it's best if we just kept strictly professional."

Fitz sighed. Professional? What the hell did that even mean? "I don't think it's for the best," he said honestly. "I want you and I'm pretty sure you want me. Why not give it a go?"

His eyes seemed to pierce her very soul. Dangerous. Very dangerous. "There are plenty of reasons why not, let's just not go there, ok?"

"Fine," he said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. He was too old to be playing games. "Your call." He started to set up his area for sleeping. He could hear Spin and Twitchy already moaning. Oh brother, it was going to be a long night.

He didn't put up much of a protest, which was a good thing, Liv supposed. But there was a part of her that was a little sad he didn't push harder. She was being ridiculous, she knew. She made her own bedding arrangements, but she wasn't tired at all. She could hear him breathing steadily. He was wide awake as well. She watched as the fires started to burn low. Her eyes turned to the stars, the Milky Way splashed across the heavens. She caught a bright light steadily moving across the sky.

Fitz finally broke the silence. "Do you see that light?"

"Yes." She said after a moment, not pretending she was asleep.

"It's called a satellite. Before the Collapse, they used to shoot those things into space. They were able to take pictures from high above. That's how they used to make maps and stuff. They used to be able to talk to each other instantly over thousands of miles because of those satellites too."

Liv watched the monument to days long past in fascination. "I wonder how long it will stay up there."

"Forever, I guess." It was a tombstone to an age he wasn't sure would ever be repeated. Some talked about the good old days, even though they never saw a moment of it. The General filled his head with stories about the way things used to be and how he had plans to restore that order. When he was young, he would enthusiastically listen to those plans. Now . . . he wasn't so sure it would be a good thing. "I talked to Spin earlier about the fact we are close to an old hot spring resort. We can probably get to it with another day of travel. It would be a good place to hold up until the pass clears."

"That would be nice." The idea of taking a warm bath was certainly appealing. She finally started getting sleepy as she started imagining swimming in the springs . . . maybe with some company.

A/N: I thought I'd start giving a cheat sheet on which present character corresponds with their past life. There are a few that might remain a mystery until the right time.

Olivia Pope = Liviana Bishop
Fitzgerald Grant III = Fitz Grant
Quinn Perkins = Twitchy
Huck = Spin
Stephen Finch = Fincher (already left story)
Harrison Wright = Harry Walker
Abby Whelan = Amber
Lewis = Edison Davis (died in Tombstone)