Chapter 38

The deception in the angel's smile:

Some time ago, Severus had prided himself to possess an excellent inner clock upon which he could even wake up on time. Well, that clock had definitely lost its reliability in the meantime. He couldn't even tell if it was night or day now. More often than not, he even found himself wondering who he was and why he was even here. His memories sported bigger and bigger holes, so that it took quite some effort to remember that there had once been a life outside of this hell. Somewhere in an old school, there had once been a life without constant pain.

The two remaining children had been crying for a long time, until they had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Later, they had tried to comfort one another, over and over pleading with him not to hurt them.

Severus didn't know what Malfoy had told them and if he had, perhaps, even used some kind of mind-altering potion to convince them of the things he had said. The man had completely abused the naivety and the belief of such young people, that everything good is beautiful and everything vile must therefore be ugly. That was probably also the reason why the bigger girl had been killed. The older a child got, the more likely it would recognize the true circumstances. The small ones didn't realize yet that he was in no better position than them. They had no understanding of torture. For them, there was only black – the colour of evil - and white – the complete opposite. Lucius had given them a good story, as for why Severus was bleeding and chained to the wall. He heard them whisper. They saw a beautiful angel in Lucius. An angel who wanted to help and protect them.

In Severus, they saw nothing but an ugly demon that controlled everything and anyone around him and the only reason why he didn't try to get all the children on this world was because he was being locked up. Severus had attempted to tell them the truth, that he was not the demon Malfoy told them about. He tried to tell them that Malfoy was the true demon here but apparently, his story was less believable and his words less sensitive than Lucius'. Not that this would really have surprised him. He just couldn't deal well with children, never had. How was he supposed to, anyway? It was not as if he'd learned any of that when he had been a child himself. In the end, he had given up trying to talk to the two children and had done his best to fall into a reverie. Still, their every comment about the children-murdering demon and the blond, beautiful angel who would lead the murdered Sarah and Debby to paradise, hurt.

They were left alone for quite a while this time and Severus fell into a restless sleep as the strengthening quality of the potion slowly faded again.

After a while, the children started to cry again, out of hunger this time. Severus had long since passed the simple stage of hunger and his stomach was plagued by painful cramps most of the time. The blood hadn't helped quench hunger nor thirst, but Severus knew that it had held him alive, which in return sickened him even more. He didn't know what to think anymore. On one side, he was angry and sad that the children saw the monster in him but not in Lucius. Thinking of the blood he had drunk made him feel guilty, knowing that he was exactly what they saw. At the same time, the constant sobbing and pleading scraped on his nerves and he wished them to be gone, which of course, brought back his feelings of guilt, since it wasn't their fault to be here, any more than it was his own.

"Hey, wake up, Snape."

The insistent nudge against his shoulder, and the even more insistent voice, pushed Severus' conscience slowly back towards reality, even if everything seemed kind of muffled. The voice above him sounded muted, as if from a great distance and he'd like to simply tune it out and go back to sleep. But something; a strange, urgent feeling of fearful anticipation told him to wake up, or else something terrible would happen. His body reacted by a violent trembling and his heart begun to beat faster and stronger, but his brain was currently unable to make the connection as to why that happened.

"Nott, give him the potion, or he kicks the bucket before we are finished with him. I'll take care of the children in the mean time." Another, almost whispering voice and the words reinforced the urging feeling in Severus, without him being able to tell why.

Somebody grabbed him painfully by his hair and pulled his head off the ground. Something hard and cool was pressed against his lips and a few drops wetted his tongue and mouth.

In a flash, a picture of a bowl filled with blood shot through Severus and an overwhelming horror and disgust washed over him. He coughed, wanting to spit the fluid out of his mouth but a hand grabbed his chin and pressed his mouth shut, while another pinched his nose closed. For a second he feared to suffocate and swallowed instinctively.

Just then, the hands ceased their hold on him and his head was again falling back to the ground. He hardly felt the painful impact, still occupied in drawing enough air into his lungs, but slowly the fog in his brain started to lighten, the memories came rushing back as the draught cleared his mind. He groaned loudly. His body couldn't hold on much longer and it was uniquely the potions that still held him conscious now. The potions master within him started instinctively to analyse the taste of the liquid, but the Slytherin part in him told him that it would hardly matter anymore to know what kind of potion it was. It was probably a simple strengthening draught, which would kick-start his metabolism and lessen the life-threatening damage of malnourishment and dehydration enough to stop him dying from it.

Like last time, it would last for a day or two, buying him time only to leave his body back in worse shape as it had been before. He blinked and saw Lucius approach him, holding the little frightened boy by his hand. The boy clung tightly to the Death Eater's robe and Lucius petted his head soothingly. The little one was blond and had huge, grey eyes and Severus absentmindedly thought that he had a distant resemblance to Draco. Alone because of this, Lucius should be unable to harm him, something in Severus protested.

He didn't trust that protest.

There was movement besides him and he looked up to see Nott towering over him. "Get up!" he ordered.

Severus suppressed a sneer. How did that idiot think him to do that? Severus' feet and hands were useless and he would never in life be able to stand up.

"Sit up, Severus," Lucius added a bit friendlier. Still he gave his words reinforcement, by pulling the little boy even closer to himself. Severus recognized the warning and fought himself painfully into a sitting position, which proved to be quite difficult without the use of his feet and hands. But he somehow managed and stayed on his knees, breathing hard, his shoulders slump.

"You are very brave, Frankie," he heard Lucius speak and looked up. The blond Death Eater had taken a kneeing position before the boy, holding him by his shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. "You will be a great hero, when you have conquered the demon once and for all."

Severus narrowed his eyes. What devilish thing did Malfoy plan now? He didn't have to wait for long, and his question was answered. Lucius pulled forth a black, spiked dogs collar, complete with an attached leach and held it up to the boy.

"He can't hurt you, Frankie, I have him under control for now, but only a child can put the magic collar around his neck."

Merlin. What was this about? Lucius should know that he would not harm the kid. So what was the use of this stupid game?

The kid was obviously terrified as he took the collar from Malfoy with trembling hands. Malfoy turned him towards Severus and gave him a gentle nudge. The blonde boy took a tentative step, seeing only the monster of which Malfoy told him about in Severus.

Severus felt a flicker of anger and embarrassment, knowing that he would be getting this degrading thing put around his neck and his mouth formed an angry sneer. The boy stopped at once and looked insecurely back to Malfoy.

"He cannot attack you, my boy. You can do it," Lucius encouraged and Severus glared at the man for a moment. When the kid took another step, however, Severus' gaze was pulled upon him and he did his best to chase his anger from his face. "I will not hurt you, boy. I have never ever killed a child." But as soon as the words left his mouth, he knew that it was a lie. He had killed a child before. The unborn life in Molly McGregor had been extinct the minute he had killed the mother.

"Don't let him confuse you, Frankie," said Malfoy with a smile. "The demon tries to deceive you. You do remember what he forced me to do to Debby and Sarah, don't you?"

The boy nodded, clearly believing Malfoy's words more than Severus'. It was useless. Malfoy had the children convinced to such a point that they would believe everything he told them. Stupid, naïve children….

Since he couldn't reach the boy with words, Severus stayed completely immobile and banished every emotion from his eyes, as the kid took one last step forwards and started to put the collar around his neck, closing the clasp with shaking hands.

Severus suppressed his instinct to jerk away, as the heavy leather touched his skin, but he could not suppress the hot feeling of loathing and humiliation, which was rising in him. Like a bloody mutt.

Black would certainly love this here, he thought fleetingly and at the thought of his arch-rival's theoretical satisfaction, an angry, deep sound formed in his throat and came over his lips. The boy recoiled and bolted backwards, into Malfoy's open arms, letting himself be pulled into a soothing embrace by the Death Eater who held his satisfied eyes unwavering on Snape.

"You did good, my boy. The demon is now trapped like a rabid dog. He will never get out of here anymore."

Malfoy walked over to him, the boy still clutched closely to him, and picked the loose end of the leash from the ground. "Well then, dog. Bow down at my feet. Your face in the dirt, now!"

What did the man expect from him? Never would Severus Snape sink so low as to humiliate himself this way. He looked at Malfoy a bit perplexed, unable to comprehend everything that was happening here. His hesitation, however, was instantly answered by the blond Death Eater, as the man pulled the little boy a step away from himself, laid his arm around the kid's neck, and with a casual, fast movement and a sickening crack, broke the boy's neck.

"NO!" Severus screamed, frozen in shock. It was not fair. He had only hesitated. How could Malfoy do this? He should have warned him at least.…

Malfoy turned around to Nott, who, in the meantime had gone to stand besides the girl, who had started to cry again.

"No!" Severus shouted once more, this time more urgently. Before he even was aware of what he was doing, only out of a reflex, he bent his upper body towards the ground until his forehead touched the stony ground in front of Lucius' feet. He felt utterly humiliated, betrayed and as he saw the chubby, lifeless hand of the boy on the ground in his line of sight, the tears started to burn in his eyes again.

Someone approvingly petted his hair. "That's much better, doggie."

The back of the collar was given a forceful tug. "Look at me." This time, Severus didn't hesitate and straightened his upper body as fast and well as it was possible without the use of his hands.

Malfoy crouched down in front of him. "That wasn't so hard, now was it? As long as you obey, nothing bad will happen. You can, this way, save the children," he whispered, while Nott approached with the last child. "Will you obey me from now on?" Malfoy asked very gently.

Severus nodded. It was senseless to resist. He had no more strength left to struggle. If it would save the last child...

Again, Malfoy smiled. "Good boy. You will even get a recompense for your obedience. Are you hungry?"

Severus' head snapped up in terror and he looked from Lucius over to the child. Last time, Malfoy had asked him if he was thirsty….

However, the blond Death Eater only laughed. "No, no. Don't fret, Severus."

He called for Goyle, who instantly entered the cell. The big Death Eater's face was contorted in disgust as he was carrying a bowl – that looked suspiciously like the one that held the blood – toward the prisoner.

He placed it on the ground in front of Severus, who lowered his gaze at its content with mistrust. To his uttermost relief, there was no blood or suchlike in the bowl. He had already counted on another devilish plan Malfoy's. There was only some old bread in the bowl now, which admittedly didn't look very appetising, as it was partly covered by mould and some twenty or so twitching, white maggots had taken residence in and on the bread.

Severus somehow knew that he would have recoiled in disgust under normal circumstances, but now it didn't affect him at all. If only it wasn't blood again, then he would be happy enough. Malfoy would probably force him to eat this but to his own revulsion, he didn't care at this moment. He would probably feel disgust about it later, if ever he lived that long to worry about such unimportant things. For the moment, reason was by far outweighed by his hunger and his relief that it was simply bread instead of blood. He felt only indifference and the clamping hunger, which was more painful to feel now, at the sight of food, even if that food was spoiled.

"I want you to eat the bread."

Of course. What else, Severus thought.

But even that part of him was clouded over by a leaden apathy. The eventual disgust existed somewhere in the back of his consciousness but was too far away to be reachable.

Almost on automatic, Severus wanted to reach for the bowl, but he had moved his hands for no more than a few millimetres, before a newly flaming pain in them reminded him of their uselessness. Again, he had forgotten that. It felt as if his future and past, even if it was only a few minutes away, were packed into thick cotton wool, and he could only access it with great effort. His existence consisted on the immediate present and the most fundamental and simplest thoughts. The rest run on automatic. Only saving the child was still deeply burned into his brain.

There was some warning voice inside of his head, which tried to reach him, saying something about being without food for too long and that his stomach couldn't handle it, but it would take too much energy to make sense of it, so Severus let it be.

A bit helpless, he looked from the bowl to his hands, not knowing how to eat with them and too exhausted to think about a solution to the problem.

"You are already wearing a collar like a dog," said Malfoy. "Then eat like one too."

There was a short flicker of defiance but it disappeared in a split-second. The child had to be saved; everything else was unimportant. He leaned forwards to follow the order, when a sharp tug at the collar stopped him. Malfoy's face appeared just in front of his own. "If you don't keep the bread down, then the girl will die. If you obey, then I'll let her go unharmed," he whispered in his ear.

This time it was panic that flickered up, pulling his muffled consciousness a bit back into reality and he stared at the blond Death Eater in disbelief. Somehow, he knew that his body would not comply without the help of a potion or a hex and that Lucius was asking something impossible from him.

Malfoy rose again and Severus saw as he put an arm around the girl's shoulders. Outside her field of vision, but clear for him to see, he pulled a knife from his robe.

Everything inside of him knotted together, as he leaned forwards to obey Malfoy's orders. A crushing fear filled him and his stomach began to hurt, as soon as he swallowed the first bite. He concentrated as much as possible to relax and fought the physical reactions of his stomach but the second bite was too much and his stomach cramped in hot pain and everything that he had just swallowed, came up again. Severus' desperate attempt to fight it ended with inhaling bits of it the wrong way and nearly suffocating. He coughed instinctively and he lost the fight at last and between coughing and choking, vomited the undigested bread onto the ground. His throat and his stomach hurt like hell and felt as if he'd swallowed a burning torch and he sank to the ground with a pitiful moan, pressing his arms against his belly's cramping muscles.

Malfoy waited for the cramps to subside until they were bearable again and Severus stopped to groan loudly and lay still, tears freely flowing over its face. He had failed and now Lucius would kill the child.

Even the last one he had not been able to save.

"Open your eyes!" Malfoy instructed. Severus had not even realized that he had pressed his eyes shut, but he instinctively obeyed without realizing that Malfoy, if he killed the child anyway, had no longer any leverage over him. He was too tired and the reflex to obey without hesitating, which Malfoy had hammered into him, too great.

Malfoy still held the girl close and the kid pressed her teddy against her chest, as if it were her only hold to sanity. The only mercy in the situation was that she didn't really understand what was happening here, but she instinctively seemed to feel that something bad was about to happen and she looked at him with pleading, tear-filled eyes.

"Please, mean man, don't hurt me."

The naiveté of her words, the childlike sense that replaced the missing understanding of the situation's danger and her conviction that this danger came from him, cramped Severus' heart. He saw as Lucius lifted the knife and a tide of despair broke over him. He shook his head in denial, knowing that he couldn't prevent the murder. 'No, no, no...' his brain repeated over and over again. He knew what would happen and his whole being urged him to do something, but his body stayed paralysed.

When Malfoy brought the blade to the neck of the child and with a rapid movement cut her throat; when the blood squirted from the wound and splashed Severus with warm crimson and the teddy fell from her lifeless grasp, something broke in Severus.

It was as if his heart were shattering into one million pieces and the hopelessness, pain, exhaustion and mourning washed completely over Severus. He curled in on himself and began quietly to sob.

"Again, you have failed, Severus," Malfoy reproached. "Nott, I think we have to go find new children. Severus still hasn't learned his lesson."

Somehow, behind its suffocating feeling of hopelessness, Severus realized Malfoy's words and he shook his head desperately.

Malfoy's voice was suddenly very close again. "You don't want that?"

There was nothing more in Severus, which still held enough will to revolt against the friendly voice and again he shook his head.

A hand nearly affectionately stroked over his tear streaked cheek and Severus felt a tiny bit of comfort in the gentle contact and he longed for more, like a man stranded in a desert longed for water.

"Will you submit now?"

Severus nodded. Everything. He would do everything to escape this hopelessness, to receive only the shadow of a friendly gesture but the hand brusquely disappeared again. "You really are pathetic, Severus. Not one thing you swore to do did you accomplish. Not one single thing. You couldn't even save the children. No wonder that Dumbledore has instantly forgotten about you."

Malfoy was right. Because if he wasn't then his words couldn't possibly hurt so much. The hopelessness in Severus grew even stronger.

He heard Lucius' next words but their meaning was no longer reachable for him. "Nott, send word to our Lord. It is time."

T.B.C.

Betaed by Slytherin's silver snake and Sadistra.