Wanting Casey

by NotAContrivance

What Derek wants, Derek gets, right? So what happens when what he wants the most is Casey, his stepsister? He does what he always does; he goes after her... But what's this? Is Casey wanting Derek? Guess he wasn't kidding when he said he was irresistible.

14. Right Before My Eyes

Grace a Dieu! It finally lets me update!

Just when you were about to give up on me, here I am... ;) With an update! You should know by now that I'm not one of those namby-pamby posts-an-author's-note-chapter-authors. If you wish for an explanation over the rather long hiatus, read the long note below.

Randomly... Isn't it strange that there's a picture of Casey when she was little next to Derek's room? And his chicken pox looked so fake, seriously. I know 'cause I'm an oldtimer who actually had chicken pox. I remember them more as little bumpy dotty things that were red and itchy.

Okay, so to the real important part here. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I really am. I was traveling in July and August, and then school started up, and the Junior Year is really Hell for homework. And then, eventually, when I tried to write this chapter (you see, I wrote out pretty much the whole dialogue at once and interspersing thoughts and actions with dialogue can be incredibly boring and tedious if you're not in the right mood), I became completely uninspired since I hadn't seen a new episode in forever. But as of late I've seen more new episodes, which helped a bit, enough to get me thinking about it. To be honest, that didn't really help me at all.

See, the Casey chapters are ALWAYS the hardest for me. Always. Because Casey is a far more boring and more analytical character than Derek. And frankly, I think closer to Derek than I do Casey, which is rather sad, considering Casey and I have more in common. So that is why they will take forever. Now, I happen to have a remedy for this the next time around with the Casey chapter, since I'm speeding up the story a bit. Something big will happen in the next Casey chapter. This chapter and the next one are pretty much filler chapters to the real action of the story. This chapter exists mainly to show Casey's reaction to Derek's declaration, which is honestly quite complicated and often contradictory. Casey's really all over the place in this chapter. She's about twice as confused as she usually is.

Now, anyways, back to my little story. So I did feel bad about not updating this fic. Terrible, actually, but we'll not go into my guilt issues right now. I asked a trusted friend (whom you will all hate in a moment) what I should do, since I felt obligated to update this story but couldn't write anything for it and honestly was bursting to write my other fic more, despite the fact that that fic is over 300,000 words longer than this one and the chapters are at least 2-3 times longer than the ones for this story. My friend said I should just leave this one until I got inspired again and that I should work on the other one. Naturally, I agreed with her, because I was getting absolutely nothing done. So I wrote another chapter or two for that one, which was pretty long. And then I started to write the next chapter for it and encountered the same problem as I did for this story about four pages in. Except that chapter is actually very important and exciting later on.

Anyways, so then I got this random plot bunny idea, and of course it didn't leave me alone, so I went after it and started writing it and had a marvelously good time being all serious and depressing. And I seriously got out 36 pages of it (not counting the excess dialogue that is yet to be worked in) before it got tiring to be sad and depressing and guilty all the time. So I decided to try something lighter. This fic occurred to me when the other fic I mentioned didn't work. Yeah, that was like, Friday-Thursday night whenever. And in the past two days since I've written 'bout five and ½ pages. Yay! So I decided to stay up just a little bit later to get it done. And here you go.

Now as for the people whom I promised a double update (which I rather did want), I'm sorry, but that promise was only half-kept. After all, I figured everyone would want to see the chapter they've been waiting on for about five months. On the bright side, the chapter is nearly as long as two regular chapters, if that makes you feel any better.

Also, two important milestones to mark here: 1. This story is officially past a year old. 2. With this chapter, said story's word count will have surpassed the big 1-0...0,000. Yep, that's right, over 100,000 words, baby! That will also make it the longest Life With Derek fic in existence by a long-shot, which it actually is already, even though the other two fics even remotely close to its size both have more chapters (but it'll make it the only fic over 100,000 words). Sweet, huh?

I tried to post this REPEATEDLY Sunday morning (at like 3-ish, 4-ish) as well as Monday morning, but the site didn't let me. It kept having errors. In fact, it was still having errors when I tried to update this this afternoon, but I put this in .txt form, so excuse me if you can't see any of the italics and bolds and such stuff. Oh, and then when I tried to go to the support site to login and report the error/ask for help, it wouldn't let me log in. And it's not that I forgot my password or anything. I just got a blank screen, and it wouldn't let me see any of the answers to the questions (hint: something they should maybe fix). And so I was wondering who I complain to about not being able to log into the support site to file a complaint. Can we say Catch-22? Fortunately, however, I read an author's note in a summary that talked about how she used Notepad to update, so I figured I'd give it a shot. And it worked! Anyways, sorry about the delay.

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"Casey's in this totally messed up relationship with Sam, and I just..."

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It was hard to believe that it was just another routine morning in the Venturi-McDonald house. For once, no one was late for their shower or hogging the bathroom (Derek). It was all so surreal. After Derek had said... what he said... It was just unbelieveable to me that life could go on so, so... normally! There was nothing normal about what he told me that night. Derek wasn't a person of many words, but he sure surprised me. How long had he been holding all of that back?

But, you know what, I'm not going to think about that right now. I need to focus on other things. Normally, I'd be thinking about my anniversary with Sam last night, but, continuing the tradition of all of our anniversaries, it went horribly. May I remind you of the Monthaversary fiasco? Yes. Unbelieveably, this almost went worse than that. Sam was two hours late, and I had to pay for the whole dinner since he didn't have any money. As if that wasn't bad enough, he ordered steak.

I think he picked a fight with me too. It might look like Sam and I have the perfect relationship, but we don't... not really. Every couple has their problems. But Sam's a sweet guy most of the time, so it doesn't matter. And there's another problem... We don't have that much in common besides school and, well... Isn't it obvious? Yeah... That would be Derek. Sam made a comment about me being off in some other place, and maybe I would like to be there with another guy... That was stupid, of course.

Yes, I was distracted, but wouldn't you be too if your stepbrother, whom you hate with a passion that rivals the love you feel for your boyfriend, professed his love for you? I can't believe I just... thought that. That's like I'm accepting it. And I'm not! That's just... sickening and wrong! So wrong! My point is that I had a reason. Sam was over two hours late without an excuse, AND he made me pay for the date. But did he hear me complain? No, of course not. But I went through a traumatic experience, and he had no sympathy for me. Then again, maybe I'm shortchanging Sam here. I bet he would've been sympathetic if I told him. He probably would've even beat Derek up or something. Right?

Okay, so things got a bit heated. It wasn't like we were really yelling at each other. Sam and I do not yell, either separately or when we're together. It was a rather hushed fight, not involving a lot of talking. I don't want to think about that either. Sam sort of broke up with me again after I told him that I was distracted because of Derek but could not tell him anything beyond that. I personally thought that was a lousy reason for him to storm out and make a scene like that... Sam really isn't the type to make a scene. It hurt hearing that, but we break up over stupid things like that a lot and then we're back together the next day... no harm done. Sam would eventually come to his senses and apologize. After all, he knew Derek better than anyone, right? Or maybe he didn't... Derek sort of seemed to hate his best friend. That's not healthy whatsoever.

I'll make up with Sam at school. I'm not worried... I love him... and I think he loves me. And... that's all that matters. We'll definitely get back together. Only...

What happens if someday we don't get back together? What happens if one of us goes too far and...

I've never even told Sam I love him. How can I tell Derek that I love Sam, but not Sam? I just don't... What happens, you know? Just... What if?

Well, that's obviously not going to happen. You'll see at school. We'll all see.

I knew this morning was too good to be true. There's Derek, ever the bane of my existence, to go and mess things up royally. Derek breezed through the room, snatching the cereal box out of my hands. It was just so unbelieveable. We were the only two people in the room, so I felt the need to reply. "If you really loved me, you'd let me have the cereal," I retorted irritably. The cereal box promptly fell out of Derek's grip. I stared at the box on the ground, annoyed. "Make the woman you love pick up a cereal box?" I muttered disapprovingly.

Derek finally looked at me, and, though he visibly flinched, managed to shrug. "All the better to admire your ass, my dear," He replied, a canine smile spreading across his features. Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Maybe... me. But don't ever tell Derek I said that. He would never let me live it down, and that would just mean that he wins... again. This is one battle I am not letting him win. I will not lose this war. I groaned and bent down to pick up the cereal box, only to be surprised by Derek grabbing my butt. I jumped about a foot in the air and barely managed to set the cereal box down on the counter.

I immediately spun around, screaming his name, and slapped him hard across the face. Four times. Derek's cheeks were red afterwards and that satisfied me immeasurably. Derek glowered at me and I wisely chose the opportunity to back away. "Jeez, Dere... Always so violent. So angry. With you or not, I have this nasty feeling I'm going to end up filing domestic abuse charges," I jeered, smirking. That was actually a really good insult. Derek's eyes blazed like a bonfire.

Then, naturally, he covered up his anger with a smirk, which I found to be slightly disappointing. It also seemed to prove the contrary of the point I had just made. "You realize that that's like a statement that you've actually considered being with me, much less in a domestic situation... like marriage or living together," Derek pointed out somewhat intelligently. Naturally, I was horrified, partly because he was actually right... and partly because he just brought up marriage... MARRIAGE... so casually. Like maybe he'd actually thought about it... with me... and... That's terrifying. It was a wonder I managed to say anything to that, come to think of it.

I was not considering him! Derek is not an option! He is only an option for the mentally deranged! Derek is a poison that must be eliminated from this earth! Why can no one see that?! Why?!?!! Then I thought of something, realizing what I had actually meant by that previous statement. And it wasn't that I was considering hooking up with him. I suddenly felt much more relieved. "In case you forgot, Bro, we're already living together!" I exclaimed, smacking him upside the head. Let's hope I just smacked some sense into him.

Derek scowled at me, rubbing the spot where I'd just hit him. Guess I might've just shattered some of his pitiful hopes. Well, it's not like I care. He's been a total ass to me since the beginning. I mean, honestly, what was he expecting with me telling him that? Did he think I'd just melt and go running into his arms? Puh-lease. Do I look like one of those Harlequin Romance girls who throws it all away for a roll in the hay with a "dark and mysterious stranger"? No. Obviously I am not like the sluts Derek dates or has sex with. Every. Damn. Night. Bang. Bang. Bang. Oh, yeah! Ooh... Against. The. Wall. That. Faces. My. Bedroom. He knows I can hear him, and he does it on purpose, and it really interferes with my sleep at night, the constant screwing! "Do you caress Sam with that hand?" Derek growled, shooting me a dark look.

I felt my face turn pink. Yes, in fact, I do. But that's none of Derek's business... supposed "best" friend or not. I ought to tell Sam the truth about his so-called friendship with Derek. Then again, maybe I ought not to. It might wreck his little world or something, and as much as I don't want Derek the Cancer in Sam's life... Sam would be so broken up about it. He knows about my legendary hatred for Derek, so he might blame me. That would be just terrible! Or he might not believe me! That would be worse! Oh, I hate Derek! I really do!

I gave Derek a dirty look. "You're just jealous," I snarled, knowing that it would make him mad. Derek saw jealousy of a sign of weakness. It made you pathetic, a thing to be pitied. And that was exactly what Derek did not want to be. Predictably, he was furious. As I said, Derek is usually very predictable. And, yes, he is a force to be reckoned with when he's enraged... a force to be feared, even. But, hey, I figure he loves me, right? So I'm immune. That is also why I am having an inordinately large amount of fun with this. Derek loves me, and this means that I can push him around all I want, and he can't do a damn thing. It's great.

Derek just seethed and said nothing. Therefore, this was just a silent admission that he was actually jealous. I felt so victorious. That is, until he spoke again. "Me, jealous of Sam? Come on, now, Casey. That is seriously weak. I mean, yeah, Sam has you. But, honestly, how long can that really last? Especially when you break up every other day. Face it, Case... You'll succumb to my charms eventually. You might as well give in now," Derek retorted, scoffing. That hated smirk crossed his face again, and he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, opening his arms to me. I glared at Derek, pushing him away violently.

Derek scowled at me, snatching back the cereal box from me. The nerve! Derek grinned crookedly, holding the cereal box out of my reach. He kept making me jump up to grab it and then jerking it out of my way. Grr. Fine, then. I'll just have to play dirty. I punched Derek in the stomach and snatched the box out of his grip. However, unfortunately for me, Derek, being the barnacle that he is, kept holding on to the box, so I lost my balance. I flew backward and hit the floor with Derek falling on top of me.

I was pretty much in Pain City, Population: Casey. Stupid Derek. Well, long story short, I kneed Derek in the groin. We kinda wound up wrestling. On the floor, over the cereal box. I was on top, grabbing for the cereal box. "You know, Case, I really love it when you're on top. And all that wriggling you're doing is really turning me on," Derek growled, lying on his back. Needless to say, I stopped moving. Then I realized that not moving meant that Derek was twice as likely to kiss me or something stupid like that. So maybe I started moving again.

All I know is that we were still on the floor wrestling and that Derek was on top when I think... Was it Lizzie and Edwin... walked in. I guess they must've got Mom and George because next thing I knew, I was sprawled out across Derek's chest, reaching over for the cereal box. And that was when Mom and George walked in and started yelling, of course. So I wound up falling completely against Derek. As if on cue, the box fell out of Derek's hands. Oy vey. "What is the meaning of this?!" My mother exclaimed, horrified.

I glanced at Derek, and, well, neither of us had any ideas. "Um... I wanted the cereal, and Derek wouldn't give it to me. So I tried to grab it and, um, sort of lost my balance... and... uh... fell on top of him... accidentally, of course," I tried to explain somewhat awkwardly. Derek snorted loudly and I pretended to "accidentally" elbow him in the stomach. "Oops, sorry, Derek!" I screeched, batting my eyelashes at him.

Unbelievably, that made him shut up. "We saw you wrestling," George stated in a monotone voice. I shrugged. Okay, so I was screwed. Derek grinned brightly and pushed me off of him none-too-gently. This from the guy that's supposedly in love with me. Love is strange. Especially when it concerns Derek. To be honest, I'm still not sure I believe him. I mean... It's just such an odd concept. Derek, Playboy of the Year, in love. It's crazy. And speaking of which, I have to go to school, which gives me an excuse to get out of here.

I flew to my feet, snatching my backpack along the way, and raced out the door before anyone could stop me. I was taking a leisurely walk to school with Emily, of course, when Derek practically barreled into me. He was actually running. "Casey! Emily!" He said, worming his way in between the two of us and draping his arms around both of our shoulders. I knew he was staring at me, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of looking. That is, until he kissed me sloppily on the cheek. Ew. It was wet and gross, so I pushed him off my shoulder and wiped off my face.

I began to deliberately ignore Derek. That in and of itself is a hard feat to accomplish. Almost impossible. That's what Derek does. He makes it so you can't possibly ignore him... It drives me up the wall. A sudden idea occurred to me, so I turned to Emily. Hopefully, Derek would get the message. "Hey, Emily... Don't you think that if you love someone... you should set them free? You know, free to love other people whom they love?" I phrased somewhat awkwardly. I knew it sounded a bit weird, but I didn't care. I was busy driving the knife into Derek's side.

Derek made a face, frowning. He looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. Just perfect. He gets the point. Derek should stop pursuing me like a dog. I love Sam. Why doesn't he get that? I mean, I know he's stupid, but even Derek can't be that stupid. I've made myself perfectly clear about the whole damn thing. It's not like I've mislead him or led him on or anything. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely noticed Emily's thoughtful response. "Yeah, I guess I do," She agreed, staring off into space, a frown on her face.

I felt like gloating. I shot Derek a victorious look. "Ha! See, Derek, Emily agrees with me!" I proclaimed brightly, grinning at Emily. Even Emily agrees that Derek should lay off of me! That he should let me be with Sam, my boyfriend, whom I love muchly. Thank you, Emily. See, it's not so crazy after all. Maybe Derek will listen to her. Wait a second. This is Derek. He's not gonna listen to Emily.

He'll just convince her of his point. Emily will give in like she always does. Derek just shrugged frostily. "Whatever, Case. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen," Derek responded coolly. He stared me down icily. Well, you raised the challenge, Dere. Live with it.

Emily, who had been peering between the both of us confusedly, spoke. "Are we talking about Derek here?" Emily asked confusedly. My eyes widened in horror. No! How did Emily catch on?! I thought I was being subtle! I saw Derek grin widely, evilly, and I just knew he was going to tell Emily. I couldn't let that happen. She'll hate me! I tried to say something, but once again, Derek beat me to the punch.

He smirked widely, eyes glittering darkly. He briefly caressed Emily's cheek. She relished the contact, of course. I felt so bad for her. He is completely leading her on! It's horrible to have to watch. "Yes, Emily. Yes, we are. We're always talking about Derek, right, Case? And this, of all things, is completely about me, despite what our little princess here says," Derek said, at once so brazenly cocky that I wanted to slap him black and blue. He gestured toward me with his thumb, rolling his eyes at me.

Emily better not believe him! But... she's Emily. So of course she will. Oh well, might as well try and remedy the situation. "Don't believe him! He's a horrible liar!" I screeched vehemently, shooting Derek a truly vicious glare. His eyes narrowed, but he knew Emily would believe him. I knew it too...

She did, too. She slowly shook her head. "No... No... He's right." My heart flew up to my throat. I felt somewhat ill. I mean, Emily knows what's going on and... and Derek's right. And she knows we're talking about him and me and... I am so completely screwed. "Actually, you're both right." I immediately relaxed. Wait... Both right? How does that...

I'm confused. Is that good or bad? "How's that work?" Derek interrupted, crossing his hands over his chest. He looked vaguely irritated. How did he do that? I swear, he just read my mind! Seriously, though... I mean, we can't both be right... can we?

What Emily said next both surprised and relieved me. "I... I need to let you go, Derek. You're like a bird, and you need to be free to pursue your love. I could never tame you," Emily sniffed, almost getting a bit weepy about it. That is quite possibly the most corny faux love speech I've ever heard in my life. Poor Emily. I feel bad for her. It's so embarrassing when your feelings aren't reciprocated. And so poetically tragic. Hm, I think I'll write a poem or two about it later. But she can't possibly be in love with Derek. That's just ridiculous! How could anyone love Derek? The only thing he really loves is himself... despite what he says. Who can trust what Derek says anyways? He's a no good, dirty, rotten liar of the highest order.

She's right about one thing. Derek is not the kind of man any woman can domesticate. But I can take him down a peg or two, and trust me, I fully intend to do so. He thinks he's in love with me from some error in judgment and... I'm going to use that to my advantage. He thinks I'm still too nice to be sneaky. Ha. He doesn't know me one bit. There's a reason I was the most popular girl at Fletcher Academy... and it wasn't because I was nice. Although I am, of course. Derek won't even want to look at me by the time I'm done with him, much less in love with me. A slightly bewildered and almost embarrassed (however, it is impossible to be truly embarrassed when you have no shame, like Derek) look crossed his face. "Uh... okay. Yeah," He began awkwardly, shooting me a mischievous grin, "Hear that, Case? Even Emily thinks I need to pursue my love."

I'm sure he was about to add a 'for you' in there, but I punched him, hard, might I add, in the arm. That shut him up more effectively than my words. Ah, all these years I've argued against violence have been in vain. I had to make him see how stupid he was. "Shut up, Derek. By pursuing your love, you're only making an even bigger idiot of yourself. And trust me, that is a mighty feat," I jeered, crossing my arms over my chest. It was true. I clearly did not feel the same. So what's there to pursue? His best friend's girlfriend? How cruel can he be? If Sam knew... he'd be devastated!

He would, wouldn't he? I wonder if Sam would treat me any differently if he knew how Derek thinks he feels about me... Oh, no. That's a bad train of thought. Derek would most certainly tell Sam about that horrible mistake of a kiss that might've occurred between us... several times. But it didn't mean anything at all to me! And I thought Derek was Sam... I mean, it was dark, and my eyes were closed. And I'd just woken up.

And I'm the real idiot here. There were so many signs, and I just ignored them... like I was some slut who actually wanted to kiss Derek. But I didn't. They weren't signs that he was Derek, after all. They were just signs that he wasn't Sam. That just means that subconsciously I might've maybe wanted to kiss someone who isn't Sam. Well, stupid girl, Derek is most assuredly not Sam. He is Sam's opposite in virtually every conceivable way. Sam is water... and Derek is fire.

Which is why Emily, myself, and all other women should, of course, stay the hell away from him. Like the fire that Derek is so fond of... He burns. And I most certainly do not want a brand of dishonor. Emily shook her head and predictably agreed with Derek. It's people like her that make him think he's a god incarnate. I honestly don't get what they see in him. Maybe that's just it. They don't see the insidious parasite that Derek is. They're blinded to his faults. What is he, the sun? "No, Casey. Derek should. He deserves happiness... What, Derek, are you actually in love with someone?" Emily questioned incredulously, curiosity burning in her eyes, suddenly remembering that Derek had proclaimed love for a woman. Yeah, I know! I can't believe it either! Derek shot me a bemused glance. He deserves happiness? Not when it involves me; he doesn't!

Why did I ever goad him into answering me? I should've known something was wrong when he actually wanted to tell me! Derek smirked and puffed out his chest a bit. Stupid braggart. He popped his collar, a habit of his that personally drives me up the wall. He swaggered forward a bit, turning around to face Emily, pointing a finger at her, and walking backwards. Made me think he was drunk already. "You know, Emily... I am quite glad you asked me that," Derek said, making a grandiose gesture. I rolled my eyes. And he calls me a drama queen. "Yes... In fact... I am," Derek proclaimed boldly, grinning like a madman and throwing his hands in the air. I don't know why, but it felt like the bottom was dropping out from under me. It wasn't like I didn't already know how he supposedly felt. It just sounded so final... and annoyingly true, like he honestly believed that. But it had to be a lie, you see... A clever lie to piss me off in all the right ways as he loves to do... with designs of making me look like a complete and utter fool.

"Damn, it feels good to finally tell someone else that. To finally get that off my chest," Derek sighed, closing his eyes contentedly, and patting his chest. He sounded relieved... unlike me. How can he be so... normal about this? This is not normal, you know. It's abnormal, that's what it is. Abnormal and wrong. "I mean, sheesh, I told Casey, and she's being such a bitch about it. A lot of girls would be happy that I told them that. But not Casey." Derek exclaimed irritably, shooting me a vexed look. I can't believe he just called me a bitch. And Emily is going to let him, too! She's going to take his side like the traitor she is! Derek's eyes settled on me with a slightly pained, but still admiring glance. "Never Casey," He murmured mockingly, sneering at me bitterly before looking down at the ground.

Coward. And Emily was just being stupid. It's not like Derek was making any effort to hide that he was talking about me. Anyone could've easily gotten that from his words... as he clearly intended. He wanted Emily to find out! If other girls would be happy to hear it, then why didn't he tell one of them? Why doesn't he go try to make one of them happy? Why does he go after me... I, who want nothing whatsoever to do with him! I have a boyfriend. Sam. And I love Sam very, very much. Why can Derek not see that? Why doesn't he understand real love? Emily frowned at me. Great. See, I was right. She did take his side after all. "Casey! Why aren't you encouraging him? I mean, do you think Derek falls in love with someone every day?" Emily admonished, shooting me a slight glare.

Obviously, Em didn't take Derek's words as they were intended. And being honest is really such a new thing for him. My eyes hardened as I stared at Derek. He just stood there, uncaring and cool, in the middle of the sidewalk. But I knew different. I knew how to make him angry... but more importantly, I knew how to control him. "Give him time, Em, trust me. He'll get over it," I vowed huskily, staring Derek down.

If it's a battle of wits he wants... Oh, who am I kidding? Derek has no wits to battle with. He's messing with the wrong girl. I'm not like the stupid girls at our school. I refuse to fall for that Derek Venturi is God mentality. I've seen all of his faults, and I know better than anyone that he's not as infallible as he likes to make himself out to be. And he is most definitely not perfect. He's about as far from it as you can get.

Derek rolled his eyes, putting his hand to the side of his mouth, talking to Emily in a stage whisper. I could hear him perfectly, and he kept sneaking these annoying sideways glances at me. It just about drove me crazy. "That's what she keeps telling herself, anyways. She thinks if she says that enough, it'll actually become true." Derek's words made my blood boil. He will get over it. He has to. He better. Or... I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty. Derek better watch out. That's all I can really, legally say.

A confused look crossed Emily's face, possibly at the fact that Derek was talking to her. Especially since his words were clearly meant for me. He thinks he's being clever and vague by mouthing off about me to Emily. He knows she'll agree, too. And this way I can't say anything because he's not directly addressing me. Smart, Derek... I'll give him that. But he's not near smart enough, I'm afraid. "Um, Derek, why does Casey have a problem with you being in love?" Emily asked, sensing that something about the whole situation wasn't right. It's about time. She shot me a wary glance like she was afraid I was going to eat her or something. I rolled my eyes in irritation. Why won't this conversation end? I continued walking.

If they want to be left behind, then so be it. I'll turn my backs on the both of them if I have to. Some of us actually have to get to school, you know. Some of us don't skip every other day. I wasn't far enough away from them, though, that I couldn't hear Derek's voice. It was carried over to me by the wind like a personal message from Zephyr. Or in this case, Derek. He had clearly raised his voice, knowing I could hear him. I bet you anything he's got one eye fixed on me, giving me that look. "Because she knows who I'm in love with. She doesn't approve of my feelings in the least," Derek stated summarily, like that was all there was to the matter... some error of judgment on my part. Like I was the wrong one!

But that's him, of course. Always him. I can't ignore Derek to save my life. He makes it utterly impossible. He drives me up the wall and over the moon. I don't know why I even bother. Besides, hadn't Derek already said he told me? How slow is Emily to believe his veiled truths? I spun around to face him, stopping dead in my tracks. Hands on my hips, I turned on him, yelling and screaming, "That's because it's wrong, Derek! Why don't you get that?! It's wrong, and she'll never love you!" Well, it could've been worse, I guess. Derek could've told Emily the reason I had a problem with him being in love was because he was in love with ME... Or worse, because I wanted him. Ha. Me wanting Derek? Yeah right.

My words might've stung. They probably did, come to think of it. But in that moment, I didn't care in the least if Derek was hurt. He deserved it. He did love me, after all. You love someone, and you pay the price. People aren't always going to love you back. Period. Derek needs to learn that. I panted, trying to regain my breath. Derek appeared unaffected for the most part, but his face hardened just a bit. Only I noticed. Emily winced at the harshness of my outburst, but I couldn't bring myself to care. It was, after all, Derek's fault. At least, that's what I kept telling myself, anyways. A deeper part of me thought that perhaps this was God playing a cruel joke on me. Or that I had perhaps done something to start Derek's infatuation and make him think that this... would be a good idea. But I hadn't, had I? "Ouch, Casey. Don't you think that's a bit harsh? I doubt the girl could be that cold-hearted," Emily said concernedly, putting her hand on Derek's shoulder.

Cold-hearted? I'm cold-hearted?! What about Derek? He's worse! It isn't harsh when he deserves it, sick perv that he is! Derek patted her hand, somehow smiling, probably because he knew he was ticking me off more and more by the minute. "Oh, Emily, don't doubt it," He replied cheerily, shooting me a dark look, "Casey is very harsh and cold." Derek would know, wouldn't he? He was making me sick to my stomach.

I glared viciously at Derek, thus proving his point... which was exactly what he wanted in the first place. Derek quickly removed his hand, as well as hers... lest she think it was a romantic gesture. Well, I am impressed. I thought he was more heartless than that. Good for Derek. Just watch, he'll be an ass less than five minutes later. Mark my words. Emily's eyes lit up, and she suddenly realized something. If I squinted, I could almost see a lightbulb over her head. How quaint. She finally realizes something. A cold dread ran through me. Maybe she realized that I was the girl Derek was talking about. He had basically said that I was the girl with his last comment. How could she miss that? "Wait, you said Casey knows the girl... So who is she?" Emily inquired slowly, much like her thought processes, since she could so clearly not see the answer!

It's not that difficult, and he's been dropping hints like social climbers drop names at cocktail parties. He's not exactly Deep Throat, you know. He's really not being very subtle. A monkey could pick it up. Derek grinned, shooting me a brief look. "Well, Emily, that is actually a very simple answer. The girl is actually C..." Derek began brightly. The minute I heard the C sound from his lips, I launched myself at Derek, throwing my hand over his mouth. I couldn't let him tell Emily that it was I.

Have I ever mentioned that I am bad about coming up with lies on the spot? Because I am. I'm completely horrible at lying, period. I think Derek knows that, too. I made sure my hand was clamped tight over his mouth before I spoke. You would think Derek looked angry, but he didn't. In fact, he looked sort of... amused. "Kate. Her name is Vicky-Kate. Vicky. That's her name," I interrupted confusedly, fumbling a bit with my words.

Emily frowned, understandably confused. I had just realized that I'd used my cousin's name. Derek also raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued at the development. The stupidity of that action suddenly occurred to me. I mean, Derek and Vicky being in love... with anyone... in and of itself was a big stretch. Then again, Emily had never met my cousin, now, had she? Vicky was as close as I could get to the truth. "So is her name Vicky or Kate? I'm confused," Emily said, interjecting yet another annoying question. At that precise moment, Derek's tongue darted out to lick my hand, and I immediately recoiled... just like he wanted.

He took the opportunity to interject his two cents. "Actually, Emily, her name is C-" Derek began yet again, grin overcoming his face. As I had before, I pounced on him, clapping my hand over his mouth. I almost tackled him, really. He moved so that I narrowly missed him. Nonetheless, Derek raised his eyebrows at me suggestively. I felt disgusted, but did not remove my hand. I couldn't let him tell Emily that.

I smiled sweetly, pressing my hand tightly against Derek's mouth. Okay, Casey, time to pull a fast one. Did I mention how much I suck at lying? But this is Emily, so she probably won't notice. It's not like I'm doing anything bad. I'm hiding the fact that Derek is in love with me. That's understandable, isn't it? I just want to protect Emily. "Kate. Kate is her first name. But she... She goes by her middle name. Which is Vicky. Vicky, Derek. He went out with her the other day," I lied, albeit half-truthfully. He had gone out with Vicky... about a month ago.

Derek nodded, somewhat impressed by the lie. I hesitantly removed my hand from his mouth, realizing that Emily was looking at me strangely. Derek grinned widely, shooting me a glance. "I made out with her the other day, actually. Before she had a date with her boyfriend. Mmm, I should do that again," Derek replied smoothly, licking his lips. Although addressing Emily, he didn't look away from my face once. I hated the fact that what he said wasn't a lie at all. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Derek's predatory grin widened.

Emily pursed her lips, clearly not trying to be judgmental. She didn't want to ruin it for Derek. Plus, Derek going after a taken girl was not exactly a new phenomenon. "Well, Derek, if you do that again, there won't be any more dates with the boyfriend," Emily pointed out wisely. Her lecture, however, fell on deaf ears. Especially as that was exactly what Derek wanted. My eyes narrowed at the thought. I wasn't going to do that. I'm not letting Derek ruin my relationship with Sam. I'm not falling for him.

Derek smiled wolfishly, raising his eyebrows and picking up the pace a bit. "Very true, Emily. That's actually exactly what I'm going for," Derek said smugly, shooting me a smile. It was the type of smile that said, "you're mine, and you know it." I wasn't going to fall for that crap any time soon. He might kiss well, but he's still an ass. Even if Derek really meant it, I don't think he could ever commit or anything. He'd probably cheat on his girlfriend or dump her or something.

Emily nodded at Derek's sickening summation. Derek would not win. "So, Casey, why is it wrong again?" Emily asked quietly, glancing at Derek. A smirk once again curled on Derek's lips. I felt sick to my stomach. Derek seemed to be asking me the same question with his eyes. I heard him in my head, laughing... saying that I couldn't come up to an answer to the question anyways. But I could, and I would.

I faked a smile, feeling my face hurt from the strain. Why did Emily have to be on Derek's side for this one thing? Why?! There were so many reasons. My loving boyfriend, Sam. The fact that I wasn't remotely interested in him. And, most importantly, the fact that he was my stepbrother. Do I look like Kathryn Merteuil to him? I mean, really... Who does he think I am, that I wouldn't have a problem with this? "Aside from Vicky's boyfriend? And the fact that she's completely not interested in you?! Vicky's also my... I mean, our dear cousin," I replied frostily, glaring at Derek all the while.

Emily's eyes widened a little as she looked at Derek in surprise. Derek wasn't ashamed. In order to be ashamed, you actually have to possess shame. He made no apologies for his behavior. He had to know incest was wrong, but... He either didn't admit it was incest or, just, well... didn't care. "Oh, so it's kind of like incest," Emily exclaimed, pursing her lips. Yes, Emily, it is. Actually, it's even worse since it's not really Vicky. It's me.

Derek pouted, and I wanted to punch those pouty lips right off his face. His eyes would look so good black and blue, I thought violently, remembering the spiderweb of finger-shaped bruises around his neck. Why does he always have to talk? Can't he shut up for five minutes and stop trying to convince everyone else that this is okay? It's not okay! "I find that quite offensive. It would be incest if I fell in love with Marti or, I dunno, Nora," Derek remarked intelligently. That's true. It would be incest in the illegal sense that way. It sickened me just hearing him say that. And I was Nora's daughter. How is that any different?

Just because I'm not my mother... that makes it okay? Emily looked from Derek to me, but I wasn't going to give in. "He has a point, though, Casey. I mean, they're not actually related by blood, right?" Emily interjected, fixing me with a look. Marriage is just as good, Emily, I assure you. You try having a stepbrother all over you like Derek... all the time.

Derek nodded coolly. He gave me a knowing look, and I knew what he said next would be in direct relation to me. "Nope. We're only related by marriage. Isn't that right, Casey?" He replied smugly, smirk so apparent on his face. Derek just loves to point that out as if what I think, what our parents would think... what anyone with a shred of common sense would think! He is such a moron!

I was about to make an irritated remark, but I forced myself to swallow it down. I didn't want to give Derek that satisfaction. I glared at him instead, and was surprised when Emily made a comment. Her eyes were darting around, and she looked very nervous. Probably wanting to escape another epic Casey vs. Derek brawl. Not that I blame her. Sometimes all this fighting wears me out too. "Um, you know what... I need to get to school really early. So I'm gonna run. I have to talk to Mr... Uh, Evansenson! Gotta go!" Emily muttered a second before she turned around and started to run to school. Within seconds, she had disappeared completely from my sight.

"Oh... kay. That was strange," Derek said slowly, glancing out in the direction Emily had fled.

For once, I actually agreed with him. That was very strange. Sounded especially like a lie. I'll tell you exactly why it's a lie, too. She's actually Miss Evansenson. "Yeah, you're telling me. There is no Mister Evansenson. He's really a she," I explained half-under my breath. I glanced over at Derek, who looked vaguely confused. I realize that he's stupid, and I was a bit vague... but seriously! Derek ought to know who she is. I mean, he has her for homeroom. And if the stories are true, Derek regularly hits on her every class.

"Wow. Then I think he has a lot of problems... like the reason why he got that sex change surgery," Derek remarked casually, stupid annoying grin lighting up his face. Oh, yeah. He knows exactly who Miss Evansenson is. I've heard that they're on a first-name basis. And I've heard that he... well... Let's just say I sure wouldn't put that past him, given his promiscuous ways. I wouldn't even blame her. If it's really true, then it was entirely instigated by Derek, and she probably wound up more psychologically scarred than him.

Man, I feel sorry for her. George ought to send girls flowers to make up for Derek dumping them. He's left a trail of broken hearts in his wake, let me tell you. Like Sandra, for instance! She started eating meat again after they broke up! It's completely horrible, really... But that was actually the longest relationship Derek's had since I've been here. He has serious commitment problems. I clucked my tongue, shaking my head. He's so stupid. "Not half as many as you, Derek," I replied easily.

Derek glowered at me, crossing his arms over his chest. "I resent that. My only problem is that I fell in love with you," He said, letting the words flow out like water. He shot me a meaningful look. How can he say that so easily? I was surprised that he would just readily admit it like that. I glanced around nervously, afraid someone had heard. But no one had. There was no one on the street at all... except Derek and me.

Dangerous things happen when we're left alone. I'd better get to school. My eyes narrowed at him. Yeah, Derek, that is a problem. For the both of us. But he doesn't really love me. He's just deluded himself into believing it's true. He'll realize that sooner or later and go out and screw a few more bimbos. Ugh. He'd love Toronto. There's so much diversity there. Girls of every kind imaginable. Why doesn't he pick one of them? Why does it have to be me? "Exactly. Funny, though... I thought that was my problem," I retorted irritatedly.

Derek smirked. Again. "I knew you felt the same way about me," He drawled cockily. He actually batted his eyelashes at me. Oh, the nerve of Derek! I can't believe the crap he gets away with. It's unbelievable.

We'd both started walking by now. "Where do you get this stuff? You're crazy!" I exclaimed furiously, feeling the blood rush to my face. I was so mad. I couldn't believe I was even seeing straight. He was crazy, too. A complete raving lunatic.

Derek rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah... crazy in love with you!" He retorted, throwing his hands in the air insanely, just as he had when he'd screamed at me at Aunt Fiona's wedding. I can't believe he thinks that.

I mean, I've heard some delusional thinking in my day... from Derek himself, nonetheless. But this has to take the cake. "Not the kind of crazy I meant, Derek. I meant the kind where you need to see a psychiatrist. Because you have some serious problems," I muttered, more annoyed with Derek's act by the second. Then again, I'm the one who goes to see Paul every week, so maybe this is really my problem after all.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest, shooting me a meaningful look. "You know, if anyone has deep-rooted psychological issues here, it'd be you. I mean, you're the one who's in denial," Derek said casually, walking a little ahead of me. At this rate we were never going to get to school on time. I stopped walking to gape at his back for a minute or two.

Then I realized that I was kind of staring at Derek's back... i.e. His butt. Ugh, what is my problem? Oh, right. Derek. Duh. I ran after him. "I am not in denial! I'm telling the truth! I have no feelings for you whatsoever!" I shrieked furiously. This is so frustrating! He's not supposed to be acting like this.

How do I always wind up in these situations? Derek whirled around, looking pissed off. I backed away reflexively. Life with Derek is not a pleasant existence when he's angry. Never. He glared at me with a somewhat questioning look in his eyes. "What, do you think if you keep saying that I'll get the message and stop pursuing you? Or are you purposely trying to hurt me? But no, it's not just that... You still don't believe that I even can love you," Derek accused, anger etched into his features. He was kind of right too.

Not that I was telling him that. Yes, I was saying it in the hopes that he'd get the message and give up like a sane person. I'm not interested, and I have a boyfriend. I've told him that repetitively, and he still doesn't get it. I don't want Derek. This time... This time he doesn't get what he wants. I charged on ahead flippantly, muttering sarcastically over my shoulder, "Gee, I wonder why, Derek. Everyone knows you're such a sincere guy."

Derek puffed up, sticking out his chest proudly, grinning like the cat who'd eaten the canary. "Thank you for noticing, Casey," He replied pompously, a grin stretched widely across his face. He then shot me a sideways glance. "Now, come on... I want to hear you say it," He urged, stopping in his tracks. For some reason, I turned around to stare at him in confusion.

"Say what?" I asked, perplexed. I don't want to be having this conversation. I really don't. Nor do I want to talk to Derek. I hate this... talking. When did he become such a talker? I mean, don't you have to have a brain to talk?

Derek rolled his eyes at me. "That I'm in love with you. Are you slow or what?" He quipped as if I was an idiot. As if I was the idiot. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. I glanced around, feeling paranoid. Please tell me that no one heard that. I mean, who does he think that he is? He can't just go around saying things like that! Especially if they're not true.

Now I know he keeps saying that it is, but it all has to be a huge trick. It just has to be. Doesn't it? I don't know how, but apparently he's so good at lying that he believes his own lies. Which makes him delusional. Delusional or very, very persuasive... uh... maybe it's a little of both.

A sudden chill came over me, and I trudged forward. The bite of autumn was already in the air. Great, just great. Just what I need. I ought to wear more layers as if that's possible. There's nothing like a cold day and Derek to make my life complete.

Completely full of misery, that is.

I sighed, feeling my teeth start to chatter. Damn. Why did I have to wear the miniskirt today? What am I, showing off? Am I... Am I trying to show Sam just what he's missing... or am I trying to entice Derek by parading myself around the school like a piece of meat? No, no. No. That can't be it. No. Bad Casey. That was a clearly delusional thought. Probably got it from Derek. Ew, he's rubbing off on you. Ew.

I knew Derek would say something about it, so I kept my mouth shut, pursing my lips into a thin, white line. Hey, it also helped that I was pretty pissed off already. I forced myself to put one leaden foot in front of the other, bringing down my deadweight legs, keeping my knobbly knees firm. I couldn't break. Not in front of him, of all people. I had a headache already, and it was all Derek's fault... then again, so is everything. Because of him I was up half the night thinking... I couldn't get to sleep. "No," I barely managed to snap out. I felt weak. Maybe I'm coming down with something?

Derek looked at me somewhat curiously, but I just glowered at him. He frowned, roughly grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me to a stop. I'm afraid that if I do stop, I won't be able to start again... And... if I fall, I might not be able to get back up. I'm scared. Especially of Derek. But don't tell him I said that. I'll only inflate his already oversized ego even more. Derek gave me a look, pulling me closer, despite me inching away, pouting at me. What, was that supposed to be cute? 'Cause it wasn't. I shot him a vicious glare. "Come on, Case... If you don't, that's just lying. You know I do," Derek growled frustratedly, advancing on me. I flinched, but he didn't notice. He never notices when he oversteps his boundaries.

Then Derek's eyes took on an eerily predatory gleam. His eyes narrowed, and he took a step closer, casually putting a hand on my shoulder. "I can't possibly make myself more clear unless I..." He trailed off. His hand slid down my arm slowly. His eyes took on an almost threatening, menacing look. Derek pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Well, you wouldn't want that to happen, now would you?" He asked, removing his hand carefully. Let's just say I got the message, vaguely threatening as it was, in its entirety.

I didn't really have a choice in the matter. But saying it meant that I was facing it. I mean, really, really, actually... facing it. And I'm not ready to do that. Because admitting it is like accepting it. It's like a way of saying it's okay... okay when it isn't at ALL. "Okay!" I screeched, throwing my hands in the air, not caring about how senselessly dramatic it was, chest heaving. Then I realized that we were out in public, so I deliberately slowed my breathing and tried to calm down. However, Derek is an automatic rise in blood pressure, so it was a hard battle. Calm, mellow, relaxing... "Okay... okay," I mumbled, trying to catch my breath.

I steeled myself to say it. To say it and not absorb the words. I have to be firm, even robotic about this. They're just words. I can't let Derek have control over me, and if I freak over this, that's exactly what I'm doing! "Fine. I'll say it," I snapped irritably. Gah. I don't want to do this. I really, really, really don't want to do this. I glanced around, looking to see if anyone could see or hear us. No one could. "You're in love with me," I whispered somewhat weakly. Damn, it wasn't working. "There. You happy?" I spat disgustedly, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

I had to turn around and look away. Oh, no, Casey, you are NOT crying, especially not over Derek and some lousy reason. Why am I on the verge of tears, anyways? Is my period coming up or something? Surely, that must be it, right? Not that I find this too much to handle or that... or that I actually feel sorry for Derek because it's just all too heartbreaking to be in love with someone you can't have. I mean... He isn't even in love with me in the first place! That's ridiculous!

I took a deep breath and forced myself to turn back around again. When I did, Derek was, as usual, smirking. "Very," He grinned smugly. He walked over to me and leaned in real close. I reflexively moved backwards as fast as I could, but Derek put his finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. "And, babe, that's not going to change anytime soon, so you'd best get used to it... me being in love with you," He replied cockily, smirking widely. Then he winked at me, bringing his hand up to rub my cheek. He grinned widely, leaning in a bit more as if he was seeing how far he could push it. "It's not something I experience often, so consider yourself lucky," He continued even more obnoxiously.

I pulled away as far as I could, feeling the desperate need to put some distance between the two of us- and fast! Derek's eyes narrowed irritably, and his lips formed a stiff line. "You're the first..." He began passionately, tight lips suddenly forming into a scowl. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "...and the last," He finished bitterly. He stared me down, a repressed rage burning in his eyes. I felt an unpleasant shiver run up my spine from that look. "Got it?" I gulped, fearing for my life, and nodded fervently.

Then I hardened a bit, adjusting my posture. A sneer crossed my features, and I crossed my arms over my chest. He has to get this. I've been nothing but straight with him. Except for when I kissed him... but temporary insanity strikes back. Is that why he thinks I have feelings for him, because I've kissed him back? It's not like I've ever really initiating anything! With Derek. "I might be used to it. Doesn't mean I have to accept it as being true," I stated harshly, unwilling to give in.

Derek shook his head, crossing my arms over his chest. His dark, feverish eyes burned into my skin. He was so intent and intensely focused. "Look, Casey, you still don't get it, do you?" He asked somewhat quietly, letting the question hang in the air. I didn't get what he meant, so I didn't dignify his comment with a response. Derek smiled, but it was more like he was angrily baring his teeth at me. "I told you a long time ago..." He murmured, slowly approaching me. He placed his hand softly on my shoulder, uninvited. "In my house, I always get what I want," He said, echoing what he'd told me upon our moving in. His eyes hardened and got steely.

He made sure to stress certain words to get his point across. He was being so... unpleasant. "You live in my house... on my turf. Your room is right next to mine," He stated bluntly as if daring me to do something. If this little "conversation" went on much longer, I was going to do something. Something that sounded a lot like punching him in the face. "You can't escape me," Derek sneered, leaning in so close to my face that I could smell his minty-fresh breath on my face. "And," He replied smoothly, shooting me a lascivious look that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, "Casey... I want you." His eyes took on a determined cast, shining with a dark, evil energy. The smile dropped right off of his face only to be replaced by a sinister smirk. "So I will get what I want. I always do, Case. And there's nothing you can do to stop that. You can only make it easier for yourself," He drawled smugly, approaching me further, licking his lips.

I almost spat in his face, feeling disgusted by this whole conversation. I hated how overly confident he was. He actually thought that I was going to come around. I can't believe he thinks that. I love Sam. Sam, not Derek, Sam. I decided, however, that Derek wasn't worth the trouble. So I just shook my head instead, rolling my eyes. "In your dreams, Derek," I hissed irritably, abruptly turning away from him and walking in the direction of the school.

Unfortunately, Derek followed me. He ran to catch up with me, grabbing my arm, and forcibly making me stop speedwalking. He stared me straight in the eyes, getting too close, invading my personal space like the insidious creature he was. "You have no idea how right you are, my love," Derek proclaimed brilliantly, eyes dancing with a dangerous fire. Then his eyes narrowed slightly, flashing that determined look once again. "But I like to make my dreams a reality," He declared darkly. He leaned in a little towards my face, making me uncomfortable. "More than anything, Casey, I like a challenge. And you're the best challenge I've ever encountered," He murmured in a low, husky voice, further advancing upon me.

As they say, one step forward, two steps back. Which was exactly what I did. I stepped backwards, getting away from him. I couldn't stand him! This time, I stared him down with steely resolve, addressing him in a cold, clipped tone. "Well, prepare yourself for the battle of your life. Because, Derek, I will never fall for you. I will never be even remotely interested in you. So you'd better get over it, Derek... because if you don't, you'll be in for a world of pain," I vowed vehemently, meaning each and every word. Each word was a solemn promise to myself. Each a promise I was determined not to break. He will be in for a world of pain.

Right after I said that, the stale smile dropped right off of Derek's face. I grinned victoriously, thinking I'd won. Of course, I hadn't. Derek always had to have the last word. Always grating on my last nerve. He seemed thoughtful and intent for a moment... In fact, for so long that I thought he wasn't going to say anything at all. I'd half turned around when he spoke. "Didn't I already show you that I could deal with pain?" He exclaimed sneakily, making me whirl around to face him in a rage. Those words hit me just like a punch in the stomach. He knew I'd remember. Derek smirked again, looking so self-important that I wanted to slap that smile right off his face. "Just like you showed me that you'd help me heal," He stated calmly.

That really set me off. He made it sound so... so... so wrong. So not like it really was. He made it sound like I actually gave a damn about him. Like I cared about him in that way. "I did no such thing," I snapped frostily, fixing the full force of my withering death glare on him.

However, it didn't seem to affect him whatsoever. Derek's eyes narrowed coolly. "Really?" He asked sharply. I could tell he was about to lay down his points because he started talking faster and walking towards me. I couldn't move. I just stood there, frozen to the spot and let him get it all out. "Then who was it who ripped the cigarette off my arm? Who wiped away the ashes? Who grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into the bathroom? Who ran my arm under cool water? Who put a band-aid on my wound? Who took care of me, huh, Case?" Derek growled confrontational, suddenly all up in my face, angry and expecting an answer.

I knew the answer, too. I just didn't want to say it. To actually admit it out loud. But I had to. I ripped the cigarette off his arm. I stomped on it with my shoe and put it out. I wiped those red-hot ashes away carefully. I grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him up the stairs, and dragged him into the bathroom. I put his arm under cool water. I put the band-aid on his wound. So... I took care of him. It doesn't mean I love him. It means I maybe care about him. Maybe. I am, after all, a nice person.

But Derek wanted an answer, and I couldn't lie to him. "Me. I did it," I volunteered reluctantly, feeling suddenly ashamed that I'd done that.

He rolled up his sleeve, showing me the arm he'd previously injured. Surprisingly the somewhat battered band-aid was still on it. He held his arm out, motioning with his eyes for me to remove the band-aid. I didn't want to do it, but it briefly occurred to me that it would hurt Derek. So I leaned over a little, and I ripped that band-aid off, carelessly tossing it to the ground. However, it was no fun. Derek didn't even make a face. He just stood there, staring at me blankly. My eyes went down to his wound, which didn't look infected. It was a small, angry red cigarette burn... a welt. And somehow, I knew that it'd make a scar. And then I suddenly wondered... what scar would I have left from this ordeal? What scar would Derek leave me with? He smiled bittersweetly. "Exactly my point, Casey. You care about me a lot more than you'd like to admit," He breathed mysteriously, shooting me a dark look.

His tone actually wasn't that cocky, but I was so mad it didn't even matter. I don't really know what I was mad at. Maybe I was feeling guilty. "Not because I love you, you idiot! Because you're my brother," I retorted harshly, rudely. I didn't care if it hurt him. Besides, it's not like he's got feelings anyways.

Derek looked a bit stung, and I relished the feeling that aroused in me. "Please, Casey," Derek snorted disbelievingly. "If it was because you actually thought of me like a brother, you wouldn't have touched me with a ten-foot pole. If you actually thought of me as a brother, you wouldn't ever kiss me back. You would've pushed me away immediately," Derek pointed out plainly. Then his eyes narrowed craftily as he grinned wickedly. "But you've never done that, have you, Casey?" Derek prodded, knowing exactly how best to push my buttons.

I was so pissed there aren't even words. I raged; I saw red. "Shut up, Derek!" I screamed furiously, striking out at him. I pushed him away from me violently, so frustrated that I wanted to get away from him. I just wanted to walk back home and leave.

Derek's eyes narrowed. His voice took on a frustrated tone. The first true frustration I'd heard in a while coming from his lips. He'd been so damn optimistic even after I'd told him no time and time again. "What, Casey... can't think up another excuse? Just face it, Case... You feel the same way about me that I feel about you. You love me," Derek stated bluntly. He shrugged, and I gaped at him, completely floored. I don't believe it. "Maybe I'm overstepping myself a bit, but I know that you care... and you obviously want me. And in my head, that adds up to love," Derek exclaimed crazily.

He was so cocky and so stupid and so... obviously lacking a brain... that at first I could only stare at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. It was unfrickingbelievable. Derek had finally snapped. He'd finally lost his mind... And... I'd driven him to it. It just didn't add up. I couldn't believe it! And then the wrath leaked back into me, slowly surging up and forming a red wave. "Let's get a few things straight, then... For one, I have no feelings towards you. For another, you're my brother... I have to care because blood is thicker than water. And I most assuredly do not love you or anything about you in any way. Finally, I could not want you any less if I tried," I snarled viciously. "So I've decided that... in my head... your so-called logic adds up to crazy hogwash. Got it, Derek?" I proclaimed mockingly.

Derek rolled his eyes at me. Ugh, I can't believe the nerve of him! "Like I said... You want me. You know it. I know it. So why don't you just get it over with and kiss me?" Derek asked, pouting only slightly and holding out his arms, presumably to catch me after I threw myself at him. Ha. In his dreams. I rolled my eyes at him, wondering when this argument would ever end.

Ugh. The mere thought was disgusting. I am never, ever kissing him again. I would rather die. I glowered at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, I'll get it over with all right!" I snapped irritably. I forced an obviously fake smile. "And I'll seal it with a slap across the face," I quipped venomously. My fingers were, in fact, just itching to do that very thing.

And why shouldn't I? Good manners, good breeding, a sense of social decency? None of which Derek, who claims he loves me, has ever shown me. If anything, he has it coming. So, naturally, he had absolutely no right to protest. Then again, just because Derek has no right to do something does not mean that he will not do it. In fact, he is actually MORE likely to do it. You tell him to do one thing and that boy does the opposite. Derek frowned at me, pretending to look scandalized. Frankly, all of his acts were wearing more than a little thin. "Well, that's not very nice!" He exclaimed, scolding me.

Again, he has absolutely no right! I glowered at him, crossing my arms over my chest and determinedly ignoring him. Wow, I'm really getting better at that. "When have I ever claimed to be nice? Especially towards a toad like you, of all people?" I sniped over my shoulder, focusing on getting to school. That's it. I should start asking Sam for rides in the mornings. I don't even care if we fight. It's got to be better than going tête-à-tête with Derek all the time, especially now that he thinks he's in looove with me. Derek isn't, of course. He's just an idiot, and he's trying to freak me out by saying he has feelings for me.

Unfortunately for me, it's working. Have I mentioned lately just how very much I hate Derek? Because I do, you know. I loathe him, despise him, wish he'd die, want him to drop off the face of the planet... You name it, I feel it. On top of everything, he's so impossible to ignore. I hate to say it, but he is like an attention magnet. He's just... ugh. He's COMPLETELY impossible, that's what he is! I sped up my pace a little, hoping to get out of our neighborhood faster. Jeez, has the street always been this long?

Annoyingly enough, Derek managed to catch up to me. Even my finest speedwalking was not near fast enough to evade the unstoppable Derek Venturi. Derek smirked at me. "It's that goody-two-shoes reputation you have, Sis. It really misleads a guy," He pointed out somewhat sarcastically. I wanted to take a swing at him just to prove him wrong. I am not always a nice girl. Besides, nice girls finish last... which is how I always finish around Derek. Needless to say, I took that swing at him. He didn't even bat an eyelash or look surprised. He just ducked away, and I wound up hitting air and looking like an idiot. Derek, the smug jerk that he is, snickered at me.

Naturally. He claims to love me yet still mocks me. Yeah, Derek, that'll really bring me around! I swear, I just can't catch a break! Then he put his slimy, disgusting hand (really, who knows where that's been?) on my arm, smiling at me flirtatiously. "But if you think being nasty's a turn-off, you'll find yourself sorely mistaken. Remember, I dated Vicky. I can deal with unpleasant," He replied smugly, beaming like the cat who'd just eaten the canary. He always grinned like that, too. It really bugged me, especially as I was increasingly beginning to feel like I was that very canary. I didn't realize I'd stopped moving until Derek was in front of me. Once again, he was invading my personal space.

Derek caressed my cheek just then, skimming his fingers over my lips, leaning in so close that his cologne wrapped around me like a suffocating scarf. Did he take a bath in it or something? I coughed, but Derek didn't move away. In fact, I wondered how I'd even let him get so close to me. I tried to shake him off, but he held fast like the barnacle he was. "In fact, I like that I'm corrupting you," Derek drawled amusedly. His fingers came down to my chin, and, fancying that he had all the power, Derek turned my head from side to side. "Do continue down the road to darkness, Case... you're just letting me win in other, less satisfying ways," He ordered indulgently, a dark grin curling on his lips. His eyes raked me over blatantly. "Less fun ways too," He muttered suggestively, shooting me a disgusting look.

I felt sick to my stomach. It was a combination of things. That horrid look he gave me... That stupid suggestive inflection in his voice that insinuated things I didn't want to think about... The way he practically undressed me with his eyes. That slick, silky wheedling voice of his. But most of all, it was his touch that really set me off. His filthy, practically diseased touch, and the way he treated me like I was his plaything. I was certainly no whore... least of all Derek's. "I will never let you win, Derek," I vowed in a vehement whisper, whirling around and looking him straight in the eyes to be sure that he knew that I meant business.

Derek took a step back, but other than that he was pretty unaffected by the whole comment. The smile, however, did fall off his face. He merely shrugged and looked oddly serious. I can handle Derek in almost any mood... with two exceptions. One is the lusty/lovesick mood he's been using as of late- it freaks me out, and I completely lose my cool. Another is Derek being serious, partly because he is many things but never serious. "Whatever you say, Case," Derek said coolly, actually acquiescing to my will. His shallow appeasement, something I had always craved, tasted bitter. "Either way, I'll win in the end," He finished cockily, shrugging again and looking as cool as human being can.

There it was, the one-two punch. I glared at him frostily. I was so determined that he wouldn't win that it was eating me up inside. So I shed a little more of my Goody-Two-Shoes reputation and flicked him off. The rebellious gesture felt so good. It was... a rush. "Cram it, Derek," I retorted caustically, feeling a smile rise up on my face. It felt so good to defy him. So what if I had sunk down to his level of vulgarities?

I finally felt like I had actually gotten even with the guy in some little way. Not that Derek did as I asked. When did that boy ever do as I asked? I walked on and Derek strolled alongside me. No matter how fast I walked, he kept up effortlessly. I cursed his long legs and hockey muscles. He smiled at me coquettishly. "Well, actually, I think I'd require your assistance for that," He remarked offhandedly, winking at me. Derek made a vague hand gesture seconds later, eyes glittering with a vile lust. "But, if you would oblige me, I would be most glad to cram it," He continued politely, adopting a fake British accent for that air of sophistication Derek never could quite possess. "I warn you, though... They say that it always hurts the first time," Derek declared authoritatively, grinning wickedly.

I could see every single dirty, perverted, smutty thing he wanted to do to me reflected in his eyes. I grimaced and even winced at his oh-so crude language. Derek basically just asked me to have sex with him. The asshole propositioned me! The bastard practically solicited me... I am not here for his little gratification, thank you very much! I am not here to satisfy his every fantasy. We aren't that kind of family, no matter what Derek wants. He's horny, and I'm right here in his face. I get it. But he has a thousand other bimbos for this sort of thing who would be happy to screw him again. So he's not gonna be cramming anything in me today. I am simply not that kind of girl. I am not his girl. And, God... How'd he know I'm a virgin? I could feel the nervousness fluttering up in my chest, and I fought to push it back down. "You are one sick, twisted individual, Derek," I spat fiercely, fully disgusted with my so-called "brother".

Stepbrother... dressing it up in its proper colors doesn't make it look any better. It still sounds the same. Jeez, my idiot stepbrother's in love with me! What the hell is wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me, so that I can't get normal guys? I mean, really! Derek smiled widely, clutching a hand to his chest, once again putting on airs. He grated on my last nerve. "Thank you, Casey. My, it's been so long since you've paid me a compliment," Derek exclaimed graciously. Sarcasm is a cowardly punk's best friend, isn't it? Other than his guitar, of course. Then seconds later his eyes narrowed, and he seemed to almost look through me. "Sam must really be spoiling you," He murmured bitterly. I could've sworn his eyes flashed green. Someone's jealous. I smirked at the thought, hoping that Derek was suffering- as he deserved.

That wicked smile reappeared on Derek's face. His posture stiffened as he circled me like a predator. He was a wolf. "But tell me, dear sister, is he satisfying you?" Derek asked coolly, so smoothly that his voice slid down me like water. He stopped walking around me, standing too close to me, and Derek leaned in a little so that I could feel his warm breath on my face. "Because I've heard things from his ex-girlfriends, and they say that he kisses like a fish. And that he's horrible in the sack," Derek proclaimed loudly and cheerfully. Naturally, I was outraged! Sam is supposed to be Derek's best friend, yet here Derek is, selling him out to... to what, exactly? To attempt to win my affections? Am I supposed to be impressed? 'Cause I'm not. I haven't slept with Sam, so I don't know how he is bed, and to be perfectly honest, I could care less about his sexual prowess, as I don't intend to have sex with him in the first place.

However, Derek's sources were right on one thing. Sam kisses like a fish. It's completely disgusting. He just sits there, puckering and unpuckering his lips, which he never moves, opening and closing his mouth repetitively. Like a fish. Plus, it's all wet and slobbery because Sam always licks his lips and thinks I actually like his drool and that I literally want to swap saliva with him. It's about as despicable as the worst thing Derek's ever done. Only even he wouldn't be that cruel. As much as I really and truly do hate to admit this... Derek is about a million times better in the kissing department. Off the charts good. Of course, physicality is all Derek's good for. That, getting drunk, being cool, hooking people up with drugs, and hockey/fighting (they're sort of the same thing). But he had raised a good point... Was Sam really satisfying me? I love him, but there's something missing... Something's not right with us, and lately we've just been fighting so much. Maybe my mistaken, overly amorous step-bother was right in his assumption (that one, not the one about me being secretly in love with him). "How crude and profane! You disgust me," I gasped overdramatically, trying to mask my doubt with shock. "And, by the way, Sam's a virgin!" I shouted irritably.

After all, he had no right to insult my boyfriend's honor. Sam, unlike his best friend, is a nice boy. No, he's a nice man. Derek is just a silly boy who thinks he's in love with me. Honestly, what does Derek, of all people, know about love? And not the kind that people confuse with sex... we all know Derek can make it and create it just fine. But he can't feel it. He'd need a heart for that, and he's certainly lacking one of those. Sam would never lie to me. That's what he told me, and I'm sticking to it. He'd lie to Derek to impress him. Derek raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh, really? Is that what he told you?" He questioned almost incredulously, as if he couldn't believe Sam had the nerve to do something so outrageous as tell the truth.

I rolled my eyes at him. Man, what a stupid question! He'd really walked right into that one. "Who else do you think told me? The school nurse?" I muttered sarcastically, not really expecting a remark. Of course, I was currently arguing Derek, so I should've been expecting it. He always loves to get in the last word. And unfortunately, he is gifted with an unusual cleverness in insults.

Derek clucked his tongue disapprovingly, mumbling things under his breath. He sped up a bit, walking ahead of me. I wanted to hear what slander was coming from his mouth, so I pushed myself, near-running, closer to him. Finally, I was close enough to hear. Derek spoke as if I was his audience. It was almost like he knew I was listening. Since Derek is omniscient, he probably did, too. "If anyone would know... Let me tell you, I wouldn't put it past her. I heard some nasty rumors about the two of them..." He said quietly, shooting me a meaningful look. I didn't like that tone of his, insinuating things about Sam and the nurse.

That's just plain wrong. Almost as bad as the idea of Derek loving me, but not quite because that's incest. I shoved him away annoyedly, picking up the pace a fair bit. I didn't need to hear these lies anymore! Derek had no basis for all these hideous false accusations of his. No basis except over ten years of friendship and a mountain-sized helping of jealousy. But still, I hated that I was starting to doubt my beloved, even if it was only a little bit. "Please, more like you started them!" I scoffed accusingly.

Derek merely shrugged and made no moves to deny it. Derek starts tons of rumors. As the most popular guy in school, he has a ridiculous amount of power. And sometimes, like in Cruel Intentions, Derek likes to wield it in mean ways. "It was a dull week, and they were a little too buddy-buddy," He said as if it was an excuse. How was Sam buddy-buddy with the nurse? It's not like Derek would actually notice. Derek pursed his lips, looking thoughtful as if there really was a logical basis for his accusations. "Besides, he went to the nurse twelve times that week," Derek pointed out, shooting me a look that seemed to challenge me to deny it. Okay, yeah... I can see how that might look suspicious. But Sam's a hockey player, and he's prone to injury and illness, especially during flu season. Derek shrugged again. "It made sense at the time..." He grunted, "... and I heard the most bizarre noises coming from the room when I was waiting for him." He shook his head, tsking. Yeah, right. He's stupid if he thinks I'm going to believe him.

It's just all a little too convenient for me. Sam wouldn't have sex with the school nurse. She's practically a teacher and old and... he just wouldn't. I knew which kind of noises he was talking about, too. I shot Derek a dirty look, shifting the books in my arms. "You would be an expert on the noises a woman makes when she's in the moment..." I muttered half under my breath. Derek beamed at me, nodding widely.

He seemed flattered by my off-hand comment. I hadn't meant it as a compliment. I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm so glad you recognize my expertise, Casey," He purred, grabbing my hand. Naturally, I jerked my hand away and out of that manbeast's filthy grip. He raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer to me. I swear, it's like he deliberately tries to make me uncomfortable. It's like his goal in life is to make me jump out of my skin. "I could make you make those noises too... if you wanted to. All you'd have to do is ask. I would be very excited to tutor you in the sexual arts," Derek offered brightly, rubbing his hands together in enthusiasm. Grrreat. Who would want a guy like this for a sex tutor? Not me.

I rolled my eyes at him, pushing him away from me powerfully. "I'll bet you would," I said, knowing how true the words were. I pulled a disgusted face, only I actually was as disgusted as the face suggested. "And as much as I thank you for the great offer... really, thanks a lot..." I remarked sarcastically. I pretended to think it over for a minute, which was stupid. I shouldn't have even pretended to think it over. "I'm going to have to say no because you're my stepbrother... I have a boyfriend... and I happen to find you completely repulsive, nasty, and probably disease-ridden," I replied nastily, scowling at Derek. I didn't stop to think about how that would affect Derek because, frankly, I didn't care. He deserved it for trying to make me think he was actually in love with me. After all, I'm not the narcissist here. "So I wouldn't want to, but Derek... if I ever want to catch an STD... I promise I'll let you know," I finished viciously, pinching Derek's cheek.

Derek scowled at me, rubbing his cheek and looking annoyed. He took my comments as the personal affront they were. I know the STD comment was rather low, but I know better than anyone how often Derek's been having sex as of late. And the more you do it, the more likely you are to catch... something. He narrowed his eyes at me. "For the record, I practice safe sex. And I'm clean..." He hissed stiffly. Then he smirked again. "But don't knock me until you've tried me. After all, you certainly know I'm not a bad kisser... And just when has Sam ever kissed you like I have?" He replied smoothly, looking at me with dark eyes.

My breath kind of caught in my throat... against my will of course. Despite the corniness of Derek's first proposition, the rest of them had some merit. As much as I was loathe to admit it, he wasn't a bad kisser at all. In fact, he was the sort of guy whose kisses kept you up late at night. And Sam had never, never, never kissed me like that. But passion isn't everything. Sam's a very good boyfriend. I shot Derek a dark glare. "I don't want to try, Derek. I'd rather shoot myself than do that," I growled furiously, clenching my fists. I meant it, too. If I had the option of either sleeping with Derek or killing myself, I'd choose the latter.

Hands down. Derek looked mildly offended this time. He scowled at me, shrugging aloofly. "I haven't gotten any complaints," He rejoined crossly. Then his face broke out into a wide, overconfident smile. His pause was deliberate and annoying. "They all seemed rather... content... fulfilled... satisfied... almost in a state of... ecstasy, you could say," He said breathily, fluttering his eyelashes at me. Okay, Derek, I get the message. You're a self-proclaimed sex god, and if I want to, you'll show me the time of my life and give me some humanly impossible number of orgasms. Never mind how he would get everyone out of the house or what I would do about Sam or how he would get out of his pre-scheduled date. And, of course, never mind the utter exhaustion he'd be feeling. I mean, who knows? I haven't had sex with the guy. Maybe it's so boring I'd fall asleep. I mean, it's Derek, so it's bound to be repugnant and wrong and full of STD action.

I shot him a vexed look, sick and tired of his sexual references. Really, thinking about sex and Derek, much less sex with Derek, turns my stomach. I'm just so sick of him right now. "Enough with the crude remarks," I snapped sharply, trying to keep my breakfast from coming back up. I trudged on like a battle-weary soldier. For the first time ever, I was sick and tired of fighting with Derek. I just didn't have the kind of energy required for it anymore. Not that I'm giving up or anything. That would be stupid. And I am not that kind of girl. Not the kind to quit and not the kind to let Derek win. I know he always gets what he wants, but I don't want him. And in the civilized world, what the lady says goes.

In the animal world, Derek would just carry me over his soldier, kicking and screaming, anyways. And, well... Yeah. Not pretty, that animal desire. Derek pursed his lips, then his eyes lit up as if he was remembering something. "Oh, right. That reminds me... we were discussing whether Sam's cherry had been popped or not," He recalled oddly excitedly. I groaned loudly, and Derek's beaming smile widened even more.

"I don't want to hear this," I said, shaking my head, and really, I didn't. I'd already heard it before, remember? I was about two steps away from reverting to childhood, putting my hands in my ears and singing loudly and off-key to drown him out. Derek never would've allowed this, of course, mainly because he's an annoying jerk, but also because he's damn pushy, that one.

Derek placed his hands in his pockets, swaggering forward confidently. He flashed me a smirk that would've easily been at place in his favorite movie. "And I insinuated that he'd been had by the school nurse, and you proclaimed that he was a virgin," He recapped with a chuckle, sounding very amused. He rolled his eyes at me irreverently. "Of course... Optimistic and naïve as ever," He retorted harshly. I am not naïve. I honestly don't know what he's talking about. Derek snorted, looking disgusted. "Then again, if I'd lost it to the school nurse, I think I would be quite ashamed. I would never mention it either. Such low standards one would have to do such a horrible, disgusting thing... by which I mean the nurse, not the actual deed. Ew. I'm getting sick just thinking about her naked," He muttered with a grimace, trying very hard to keep a straight face. He did, however, look a bit green.

That's understandable, though, as the school nurse is far from a beauty. For starters, she's like 76 with the worst peroxide blonde, fried hair I've ever seen. Not to mention that she's grossly obese and has to way at least 250, maybe 300-something... and that's in pounds. She's really gross too... all wrinkly and fat. Oh, yeah, and she doesn't brush her teeth. Seriously, they're all rotten and gross... It's a wonder she hasn't gotten dentures yet. Emily and I speculate that she's a meth addict. Makes sense with those sores and how her hair's always greasy and sort of balding... Ew-fest. Imagining my sweet, innocent Sam with that ugly, liver-spotted, wrinkled, flesh-flashing (seriously, she hits on the students and wears outfits that are waaaay too revealing for any woman, much less one of her weight and age. I'm talking thongs... when she wears underwear. Eew) nurse made me wanna throw up. Derek had the images planted firmly in my head, though. Naked, writing bodies... Ew! Holding my head and trying my hardest to block out the gross pornographic images, I shouted at my very own evil stepbrother, "Derek, for the love of God, please shut up!"

Derek, like me (there's a phrase I never thought I'd say), pretended to think it over for a moment. Not that Derek ever thinks, so of course I knew he wasn't actually considering it. Then, predictably, Derek shook his head slowly. "No, Case, I don't think I will. I'm having too much fun," He replied with that stupid grin again.

"You're sick!" I shouted virulently, suddenly noticing that we were actually at the school. Ironic choice of words, really, if you think about it. Aha! I saw my opening, and I went for it. I flew at the door, throwing it open with fierce abandon and entering quicker than a winter breeze. I thought I was leaving Derek behind and headed straight towards my locker. I somehow managed to do this without running into anybody, which was a miracle in and of itself. If I just got to class, I wouldn't have to see Derek until English. And French. And Science. Damn, how'd he get in so many classes with me? I opened my locker, the locker that Derek had obtained for me, and I started shoving things inside and pulling the things out that I needed.

I underestimated Derek again. I forgot that he's practically a hockey god and has the muscles and speed to match. Sam talks a lot, and I've been to a few of their practices illegally, so I can say with some certainty that Derek is the fastest member on that team. Which shouldn't be surprising, considering the fast way he lives. So, naturally, Derek appeared at my side just as I thought I was rid of him. He spoke, and I jumped about a half a foot in the air and almost fell over. "Yes, and if I was Sammy, I'd go see the nurse... have her fix my little problem... scratch my itch," He whispered in a low, seductive voice. I felt his hot breath against my neck and felt shivers run up my side. Ew. He wants me to scratch his itch. He can scratch his own itch until it's raw for all I care! "But I'm not Sammy," He snapped coolly, pulling away to my relief. I exhaled, catching my breath and once again attempting to finish putting away my books. I could hear the smirk in his voice before I even turned around. "I'm perfectly satisfied by banging nameless girls against your bedroom wall," He declared smugly, sounding very satisfied.

He's getting so much sex that I really don't suppose he could be anything else. I mean, like Derek's going to have sex with ugly girls who don't get him off. Psh. I whirled around irritably, throwing my bag in my locker and slamming it shut violently. The diplomacy was wearing thin. "Yeah, could you stop that?" I asked shortly.

Derek looked a bit taken aback and slightly surprised by my outburst at first. Then an all-too familiar, enterprising smile popped up on his face. He was so insufferably cocky. It will be a cold day in Hell before I take him up on one of his lousy offers. "I will... if you stop rejecting me and dump Sam," He promised sincerely, though I was disinclined to believe him and disinclined to do as he said anyways. I'm not dumping Sam, least of all so Derek will stop banging oth... Holy crap. Derek just said that he would stop banging girls against my wall if I dump Sam and stop rejecting Derek. Which basically means that if I dump Sam and jump Derek, Derek won't have sex with other girls. Which means that if I get with Derek, he's just promised that he will be faithful. Not that I believe this sham of a promise anyways, but coming from a sex maniac like Derek, that's a pretty big step of commitment.

Only he never said he'd forsake all others. I mean, that wasn't a wedding vow or anything. He just said he'd stop having sex with people against my wall. See, nothing to worry about. He's not really serious about me at all. I was getting sick of telling him over and over again, though. Maybe that's why he's persistent. He thinks that I'll get so sick of saying no that I'll give and say yes or just say yes by accident. Well, newsflash, no one's as stubborn as I am. I can be persistent too. "No. As I've already told you numerous times, I love him... I'll just have to deal with your sexual appetite," I resolved firmly, wincing as I realized how that sounded. After all, since he can't have me, a great deal of Derek's sexual appetite revolves around yours truly. It makes it sound like I actually, you know, wanna do the deed with the guy. Ew.

Derek smirked, taking my innocent phrase just as I'd feared he'd take it. "I thought you would say something like that.. Ahem," He replied, sounding incredibly self-satisfied. I, on the other hand, was incredibly disgusted. I rolled my eyes at him and attempted to push past him. Naturally, Derek blocked my way. He leaned in closer to practically whisper the message to me. "Anyways, as I was saying..." He continued self-importantly with an authority he didn't have, "All guys who are lousy in the sack say they're virgins. It buys them brownie points if the sex is horrible, or if there's some mistake in it... like they go at it like a jackrabbit... or, what else... if the girl has to fake it... or if they can't get it up." I hate to admit it, but that actually does sound logical. I frowned, remembering episodes of Sex and the City. Wow, those girls had some real sex nightmares with guys. Ew. Derek must've seen the appalled look on my face, because he continued victoriously. "Funny, I've heard all three to be true of Sam. But what do you think, Case?" He replied craftily, turning it on me.

First of all, I don't know! And Derek knows that! Secondly, ew. What girls tell Derek these things? And more importantly, why does he ask? And thirdly, even if I don't actually know from experience, as if I'm gonna just let him get away with saying my boyfriend's lousy in the sack! It's not like he knows! He hasn't had sex with Sam. Not that I would put it past him, since Derek would screw anything with a hole to plug it into. Wait. Ew. No, no, no... Sam and Derek would never... Derek isn't that kind of guy. I mean, he's wholly heterosexual. That much is obvious. Even though he could be overcompensating for something... like latent homosexuality or a sm... No, he's not small, 'cause if he was, I'd know. Everyone would. Hey, wait, did you just sort of suggest that your own boyfriend might not be as straight as you think? NO! No, no, I did not! Sam is straight as an arrow. Of course he is. Okay, breathe, Case. Derek calls me Case... Ew, Derek. Right. "I wouldn't know... but I'd like to know who all these girls are who've told you this. I don't want you defaming my boyfriend's well-earned good name," I proclaimed, full of self-righteous pride.

I was standing by my man, after all. Derek snorted loudly. "Good name. Ha. He just plays it innocent. If you knew Sam like I do, you would never have gone out with him in the first place," Derek said bitterly, laughing hollowly. I rolled my eyes. He's so jealous. Seriously, could he be any more green? I know he looks good in the color, but seriously, if the guy turns any more green he's gonna be The Hulk or the Jolly Green Giant. Which would be bad because then he'd rip Sam to shreds and forcibly have his way with me. His eyes were dark and charged, and they seemed almost to look right through me. He pursed his lips thoughtfully, forehead wrinkling, and the smile fell right off his face and turned into a frown. "Just remember that I warned you, okay?" He warned in a foreboding tone that majorly creeped me out.

Okay, I promised silently, beginning to wonder if, in fact, all of Derek's ghost stories did amount to something. Was there something important about Sam that I didn't know? However, I felt guilty for thinking such thoughts, so I quickly brushed them away. I thought for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to make him go away. Then the idea occurred to me, and a sudden grin crossed my face. Use Derek's "supposed" love against him. It's a low-down, dirty thing to do, but Derek would appreciate that, wouldn't he? Plus, he's done so many low, despicable things, he's not one to talk. He's the King of Manipulating and Using People. And besides, desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides, it's not like Derek has a heart to break. It's the price for his lies, and if he gets hurt, so what! "If you love me as much as you say you do, Derek, you'll shut your mouth for once and let me get to class," I hissed almost threateningly.

A strange look passed over Derek's features, and he immediately shut his mouth. He looked down at the floor respectably, tilting his head in a sort of bow. Then he stepped aside to allow me passage, looking me straight in the eyes. My safe passage, of course, was not without parting words. I was surprised at the flash of pain I saw in those sable depths, but Derek held himself with pride, chin up, nose in the air. It was if he knew I was beating him down into submission and using his own feelings against him, but he let me do it. I felt lousy, but I didn't show it. Maybe he did actually care, after all. "Fine," He said with an almost icy politeness, kowtowing to my will. He pantomimed zipping his lips shut. "My lips are sealed," He murmured in a sort of a whisper, like he was locking his shameful secret away. An ironic, almost bitter grin affixed itself to his lips as he waved at me. "Love you too, Case! We always do have the most wonderful chats," He drawled charmingly in a faux-posh tone, though his voice was literally dripping with sarcasm.

I flinched at his repeated declaration of affections. Derek noticed and stiffened just a bit more. If we didn't hurry things up here, I was going to be late for class. I just can't get a tardy! But I couldn't just leave him there, looking so sad. I had to say something after the cruel trick I'd just pulled, toying with his emotions like that. I'm not Derek's plaything, but he isn't mine either. After all, I am no better than Derek if I take pleasure from his suffering. I've already sunken to his level enough... That's exactly what he wants. If I'm not careful, the next thing I know, I'll be having sex with him too, just to play some sick, twisted game. Derek loves games; he thrives on games. And I am not Derek. I hate games, and I suck at playing them. I exhaled softly, inhaling a shaky breath. The words somehow managed to get past my lips, although they came out in a near croak. "Goodbye, Derek," I murmured weakly, throwing him a weak half-wave before I passed him. I sped up my footwork so I'd get past him quicker.

I didn't look over my shoulder, and I wasn't nostalgic or anything stupid like that. Not like in the movies, where the heroine says goodbye but doesn't mean it and then the hero goes after her, and they kiss, and it's all one lovely happy ending. Derek is no hero in any way shape or form. Sam is the prince of this fairytale. Derek and Edwin are my ugly stepbrothers, and my mother and George, though well intentioned, are well... the parents (only one step) of the story. It's not so much that they're evil, just that they're... Clueless and Careless. Guess which is which? They just... leave me with a lot of work and allow Derek to torment me.

So, in essence, that's about as much parenting as poor Cindy gets, only I have to raise my little sister and try and bring up Marti to be a little girl, not a little Derek. And sometimes Caseyrella gets a bit tired from doing all the cleaning, organizing, child-rearing, complaining, half the cooking, and managing to stay on top of her schoolwork.

All of a sudden, I felt a hand, Derek's hand, of course, come down on my shoulder. Derek whirled me around to face him, and suddenly he was all up in my face, closer than even before. The hallway was completely empty, with not even a janitor in sight. Which meant A. I was alone with Derek, so of course he'd put a move on me, and B. It was almost time for class to start. Where did all the lonely people go? In class, with their lonely friends, of course, leaving Derek and me all alone together in the hallway. He was so close I got caught up in the heady scent of his cologne and almost choked on its thick fragrance. As I'd predicted, Derek came closer, and I backed up towards the lockers as fast as I could. Derek, however, chased after me. He chased after me until my back hit a locker, his locker, in fact.

And then his body was pressing against mine uncomfortably and his lips crashed into mine. The second his lips touched mine; every thought flew out of my head except that of trying to escape. And I tried so hard, oh, believe me, I tried to break free! But Derek had me pinned up firmly against the locker and refused to let me go free until he had gotten what he wanted from me... like he always does. Yes, Derek was a good kisser, but that didn't mean I was enjoying it. We were in school, and this wasn't the place for any strange show of creepy stepsibling PDA. I fought him with everything I had in me, but to no avail.

Derek kissed me until there wasn't an ounce of breath left in his lungs, and then he tore his moist, swollen lips away from mine. His lips were smeared with my lipstick (which was of a rather obvious, noticeable shade), and for a second, that thought satisfied me as a punishment. But then I began to wonder if anyone would notice. Sam definitely knew my shade of lip gloss... but he was a boy, and guys didn't remember names of make-up brands (unless they're gay). They did, however, remember colors. But, come on, seriously, I bet tons of girls at our school wear that particular color. I can't be the only one. Plus, it's Derek. The guy could be wearing any shade, and no one would connect it to me.

I suddenly realized why he had backed me up against his locker. It wasn't just so I couldn't escape, although that was most of it. Derek's locker also happened to be out of the range of sight of any classroom window. We could be having sex (not that I ever would with Derek!), and as long as no one was in the hallway, no one could see it. The thought raised the hair on the back of my neck. It was a chilling reminder of how much power Derek, the guy, had. Not over me, but over women in general. He was like a sorcerer, and women became utterly powerless under his spell. I shuddered at the thought of Derek having any control over me. Not likely unless he exerted physical force as he just had. Disturbing.

Derek smirked at me, not even remotely resembling a clown. I hated him so much. I pushed him away, but he took some coaxing. Finally, he winked at me, and I felt my stomach protest. I can't believe Derek just... Having stolen the kiss he wanted, Derek backed away and strutted merrily across the hall, a bounce in his step. Hand poised on the door, Derek turned to me, flashing me a white, winning smile. "See you in French class, Case," He proclaimed dramatically, saluting me. I rolled my eyes at the gesture. He just kissed me again and now I have to sit next to him in French class all day... knowing that he loves me, he actually, really does... Damn, and I thought it was awkward after I mistakenly made out with him and he was banging girls against my wall every night... Then Derek smiled, a real, genuine smile this time. It even met his eyes, and that's when I got it. Derek really did... love me, or feel as close as a creature like him could come to love towards me, anyways. "Au revoir, mon amour," He declared boldly with that absolutely dreadful French accent of his, blowing me a kiss.

Then he threw the door open dramatically and walked inside his classroom jauntily, leaving me leaning against his locker, chest heaving. I was catching my breath and still recovering from that hell of a kiss he'd just stolen from me. Damn, I thought, touching my lips, how I wanted that kiss back! I don't mean that in the sense that it was so absolutely stunning that I wanted him to do it again. I just mean it in the sense that he had stolen it after all, and like any other stolen thing, I wanted it returned. My knees felt weak, so I leaned heavier against the locker. My back slid down it a little as my knees nearly gave out on me. I wiped off the lipstick vehemently, even painfully, determined not to be Derek's twin in any way, shape, or form, even if it was only through make-up. And I was still there, wondering what the hell had just transpired, when the bell rung loudly.

Crap!

Derek had just made me late to class. Just like he wanted.

And it really pisses me off, because after all this, it still seems like Derek's doing what he wants to do, what he wants to do best. He's corrupting me, the bastard. He really and truly is. But even if he does corrupt me, even if I sink as low as a girl can thanks to his help, I will never, ever, ever love him.

And that's a promise.

Because as long as my heart's still beating, and as long as I still have an ounce of pride and self-worth left it me...

I will never, ever sink that low.

And, of course, as I walked by Derek's classroom to get to my own (after scrambling to my feet and racing to collect my books in a hurry), I noticed he was sitting there in the front row, cheap pink lipstick painting him like a whore, smirking. And as I flew by, I could've sworn he was looking at me, and that that stupid sardonic smirk of his actually widened when he laid eyes on me.

Oh, he wanted me all right. Which was wholly wrong, as you're not supposed to want your sister. Derek and I are polar opposites. We're supposed to fight and scheme and hate each other... not make-out in deserted hallways.

Derek is not supposed to want Casey, and he is definitely not supposed to love her.

Of all the girls in the world to want... why in Hell's bells did it have to be me?

– Loren ;

Reviews are highly appreciated. They help make up for the lack of sleep. Now help reward a poor girl who just typed seven and a half pages in two days. She's tired, you know, but she stayed up because she thought you, her loyal readers deserved it.

Lol, see, I can do the guilt thing too. ;) But, really, thanks to all of you many reviewers/fans for sticking with me through these long months and increasingly longer gaps between updating. I still honestly don't get why this story's so damn popular. It just really blows my mind. Is there some strangely miraculous word of mouth about it or something?... Oh well. Anyways, again, thanks for all the great reviews, guys. I don't know where I'd be without you.

And 'cause you had to wait so long for this chapter, here's a little spoiler for the next chapter (normally I'd give you a clip, but I haven't written any of it yet): We're skipping ahead to December. And guess what, it just happens to be Casey's birthday. What's Derek going to get her? No, seriously, give me your guesses and suggestions. I had an idea, but I might've forgotten. ;)

As I said, I love reviews! Tell me what you think.