Seriously, I think you guys will enjoy this. I know I did.
Mad libs, mhmmm! - heart-

A Yummy Occurrence

Ryan paced up and down, jiggling his mouth. His very good friend, Mary Sue Chair, had arranged to meet him here on top of him. "I have something loud to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Chair was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Ryan expected to see her bounce up, her sweaty hair streaming behind her and her round eyes aglow.

Ryan heard footsteps, but they seemed rather fat for a delicate and hot girl like Mary Sue Chair, whose tread was crazy. He turned around and found Sanji staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Sanji said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Ryan had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so victoriously. "Mary Sue Chair asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sanji, his vagina began to throb violently.

"Oh," Sanji said, huskily. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Ryan said and caught Sanji by his eye. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Sanji said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a pile of sharp items falling onto his stomach then having the orgasm of his life.

From behind a boobs, Mary Sue Chair watched with a lovely light in her disgusting eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Ryan/Sanji". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the starfish from extinction.

The Adventure Of The Deer

Jamie and Zoro were out for a badass Valentine's walk on my dead body. As they went, Zoro rested his hand on Jamie's toe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so skinny, Jamie was filled with sick dread.

"Do you suppose it's smelly here?" she asked quickly.

"You smart silly," Zoro said, tickling Jamie with his bed. "It's completely dumb."

Just then, a fat deer leapt out from behind a mushrooms and hit Zoro in the tongue. "Aaargh!" Zoro screamed.

Things looked sexy. But Jamie, although she was shitty, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a remote and, like a dead animal trying to breathe, beat the deer blindly until it ran off. "That will teach you to nap innocent people."

Then she clasped Zoro close. Zoro was bleeding enormously. "My darling," Jamie said, and pressed her lips to Zoro's palm.

"I love you," Zoro said hastily, and expired in Jamie's arms.

Jamie never loved again.

Cooing Lang Syne

Ryan sipped calmly at his drink and stood cooing behind a car. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel huge and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how mysterious his fingernail got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Ryan knew very well why he was at the party: to see Robin.

Ah, Robin. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her slippery leg made Ryan's heart beat like a cat eating dog food.

But tonight everyone was masked. Ryan peered always through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Robin. There, he thought, the woman over by the rainbow, the tame one with the snail mask. It had to be Robin. No one else could look so sticky, even in a snail mask.

She began to walk Ryan's way and Ryan started to panic. What if she actually talked to Ryan?

Robin came right up to Ryan and Ryan thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Robin said loosely. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the dildo," Ryan said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so monthly.

Just then, an old voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Ryan's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Robin might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Robin swept Ryan into her arms, bent him on the bottom of the ocean, and kissed Ryan equally, slipping him the tongue and groping his lung.

Ryan could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out correctly and pulled Robin's mask off her face. It was Robin! "I knew it was you," Ryan said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Robin said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Ryan watched her go. She would be right back, Ryan was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.

I'm Dreaming Of A Jolly Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Jamie sat correctly on your mom, sipping sexy eggnog.

She looked at the lovely rug hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Sanji had hung it there, just before they looked at each other hastily and then fell into each other's arms and sexed each other's ear.

If only I hadn't been so round, Jamie thought, pouring a red amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Sanji might not have got so fat and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a dumb tear and held her nose in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a sweaty voice lifted huskily up in song.

I'm dreaming of a jolly Christmas

Just like a pair of boobs floating down a river

Jamie ran to the door. It was Sanji, looking fast all over with snow.

"I missed you greedily," Sanji said. "And I wanted to hump your ear again."

Jamie hugged Sanji and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Sanji said.

"I think so too," Jamie said and they sexed each other's ear until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted chopper mouth and lived enormously until Jamie got drunk again.

I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THAT I DID NOT CHEAT. I COULDN'T... IT WAS ONLINE.

xD SO YEAH. I HOPED YOU ENJOYED.

I love you! Oh, and guess what! I broke my foot. xD