"Though I had not been born at all, he'd never have looked at you." -Christina Georgina Rossetti

Those seven words mocked me as I gaped sleepily at my phone.

All of a sudden various scenarios were invading my brain as I felt Jacob stir beside me.

How on earth had this happened?

I tried to recall a moment where I might have sent him a friend request, but came up blank. Had someone hacked into my account? Surely if anyone were to hack into my account, they'd probably be sending nudes; not sending a friend request to Edward Cullen.

I let out a worried sigh and stared at the screen a little longer, before setting my phone on the dresser and walking into the bathroom.

Staring in the bathroom mirror, the guilt I felt from last night was apparent in my eyes. It was wrong for me to think of another man when I was with my fiancé; me and Jake had been together for five years, it held absolutely no comparison to the five minutes I spent on some guy's Facebook account.

I knew I had to do something about the whole bad sex thing; if we want a successful marriage we have to trust each other.

I stared at the bathroom door, thinking of how I could approach such a subject:

"Hey, no offense, but some guy I don't even know is better in bed than you."

I groaned inwardly at my morning stupidity, deciding instead to get in the shower before trying to make any coherent conversation.

As I let the warm water beat down on my skin, I took a moment to think about Edward Cullen.

I thought briefly about whether it was my clumsy fingers that had accidently pressed the 'friend' button. It had happened before, but that was only an accidental like on a high school friend's status.

I mentally cursed the phone screen's sensitivity while massaging the fruity shampoo into my hair.

As I stepped out the shower, I told myself that a new friend on Facebook was the least of my worries, and absolutely nothing would come of it.

Bigger problems were waiting outside the bathroom in the form of my fiancé, Jake.

My, loving, attractive…oblivious fiancé… a fiancé that was currently begging for me to open the door so he could use the toilet.

It was a Saturday. This meant I had a chance to get some serious grocery shopping to last us the week.

I'd missed breakfast this morning to try and avoid the impending conversation Jacob, and the simmering guilt wasn't mixing well with my empty stomach as I drove to the grocery store.

Doing my day to day tasks felt different today and I was uncomfortable with the little niggling in the back of my mind; almost as though someone was knocking on the locked door into my brain and reminding me about my misconduct.

I finished my shopping quickly and took an outside seat at the Coffee Bean, ordering a muffin before calling the person I needed reassurance from most.

"Bella?"

"Hey Mom."

"How are you sweetie? It's been a long time!" Her laugh eased the incoming headache I could feel.

"I'm okay, how are you?"

"Oh I'm fine, can't complain. How's Jake?"

I sighed, "Oh Mom, I'm a terrible person."

"What, why? Are you okay Bella? Has he hurt you?"

"What? No Mom of course not. It's just-" I closed my eyes and let out a long breath, " last night, me and Jake-well, uhm, I thought about someone else."

"What?"

"I thought about someone else, when we were…you know."

"Oh! Is that it? Really!"

I picked at my muffin, "Is that it? Mom-" I glanced around at the other customers and lowered my voice, "I thought about another man when I had sex with my fiancé! What more do you want?"

"Oh honey it's not like you cheated on him, is he cute?"

"Mom! I don't want to think about him!"

"Well that didn't stop you last night," she laughed.

I sighed, I should have gone to Angela.

"I feel really bad about it Mom."

"Bella, women do it all the time, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't think about Ryan Gosling a few times when I'm with Phil!"

"Oh god Mom…however awkward that is to think about that, that's Ryan Gosling! This is some guy from Facebook!"

There was silence as I ate my muffin.

"… Is he attainable?"

"He lives in Seattle and I've never met him, so no not really."

"Oh well that's fine! Listen Bells, I need to go soon but please don't worry about this honey, it's not as bad as you think. Women do it all the time and certainly won't cause a divorce; you haven't cheated on Jacob, Bella."

"Okay. Thanks Mom."

I paid the bill and drove home, thinking about the conversation.

It wasn't cheating was it?

No, it was one time and will never, ever happen again, I'll make sure of that.

I sighed, it was pretty good though…No!

I felt my guilt dissipate as I drove into the empty driveway; Jake was out.

It wasn't till I was sat watching Real Housewives of Atlanta that I felt a buzz in my pocket.

Message from Edward Cullen on Facebook.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, no!

The saying 'out of sight, out of mind' sprang to mind as I sat on my phone and stared at the TV screen, all of a sudden NeNe slating Kim wasn't as interesting anymore, but the much smaller screen currently under my butt was much more interesting.

I couldn't help it as I unlocked my phone; just to take a peek.

E: Hello, are you the Bella that my sister won't stop talking about?:)

Okay a smiley face is platonic, right?

B: Haha, I think so. I hope they're all good things?:)

E: Of course! I don't think I've heard one bad word about you, I was actually pretty glad when you added me so I could see if it was all true. :)

B: Of course it's true! Where should I start? When I'm not head of the UN, I'm dedicating my free time to charity and I'm obviously pro-green!;)

Winky face. Platonic.

E: Haha sounds exhausting! I guess I owe Alice $20, you are perfect ;)

I left an eight agonizing minutes before replying, I could feel the guilt headache starting again.

B: I'm a true advocate for independent women.

That was it, the smiley faces were gone. I was an engaged woman for goodness sake!

I saw a pair of headlights turning up the drive and considered talking to Jake about the incident last night, but decided against it when I saw who was getting out of the passenger side.

Leah Clearwater.

Seriously?!

I watched from my spot on the couch as Jacob and his high school girlfriend laughed their way up the porch steps.

"Hey, Bella! Look who came into town!" He shouted loudly, obviously thinking I was upstairs.

I planted a smile on my face and rounded the corner into the hallway.

"Oh wow! Leah, it's been so long!" I did my best to sound cheery.

"Yeah, I know. I was so surprised when Jake told me you two were still together."

"Yep, we're engaged!" Jake stated happily, oblivious to the tension in Leah's voice.

Me and Leah didn't have the…brightest past. Me and Jacob started dating about two months after he broke up with Leah. Within the first three weeks of our relationship she did the best to make my life a living hell; since she was a family friend of the Black's she would come over for BBQ's and such, bragging about the many adventures her and Jake got up to when they were together while telling me how I did nothing to compare to her when I was alone.

Then she moved away and I hadn't seen her since.

I felt sick as I watched Jake ask her to stay for dinner.

"Oh, I was just going to get a takeout, I'm sure she doesn't want to stay for that Jake," I was trying to do my best not to let her stay without seeming like a bitch.

"Well of course I prefer home cooking, but I'm happy to have a cheat night," she sneered.

"Great! I'll go order it!" Jake was still oblivious to the awkward feel in the air.

Leah sat down in the arm chair diagonally opposite mine, her dark eyes were filled with spite.

"So Leah, what brings you into town?" I was making polite conversation.

"Seth told me my father's condition was getting worse so I took a week off work to come visit him."

I wanted to tell her that her father's condition had been getting worse all year, that every Sunday either me or Jake would do his grocery shopping; just to take some of the weight off poor Seth's shoulders.

But I didn't.

"That was nice of you, where do you work?"

"I work in a garage, for now."

I wanted to tell her that there were plenty of jobs going for the local garage that was only up the road from her dad's house.

But I didn't.

"Cool, sounds interesting." I lied.

She made no more effort to keep up conversation; not asking what I did or how my family was. I didn't care.

Jake came back in and started talking to Leah about cars or something else as uninteresting.

With no desire to chip in, I pulled out my phone.

E: How does that song go again? My sister used to be obsessed with that group, knew all the dance moves and everything. Sometimes my brother can get her to show them at New Year's Eve. Do you have any siblings?

I smiled, deciding this would be my conversation for the evening.