Peggy was suffering from Alzheimer's, and, no matter how much her family and friends loved her, it was almost as hard on them as it was on her. Sam first met her with Steve on one of her good days, and the three of them talked over where it might be best to look for Bucky; combining Steve's knowledge of his friend with Peggy's of all of SHIELD's inner workings. When they left, Steve had pressed a kiss to her hand. Back in the car Sam felt he had to address the pain that lingered in Steve's eyes.
"Want to talk about it?" he offered, in as neutral a tone as he could.
"You wouldn't understand." Steve did not say thing in a mean tone but a defeated one. Like maybe someone else had offered already, but it hadn't solved anything.
"No, I guess I wouldn't," Sam conceded, and let the subject drop into a melancholy silence that dominated their ride home.
...
Sam found himself drawn back to Peggy whenever he and Steve found themselves back in D.C. Her stories were the impossible seeming truth, fueled by her amazing life, passion, and dry British wit. He saw relief some days in the eyes of her family members. And sometimes in Peggy's too, when she was fading in and out of the present. It was good to have a face that she wasn't supposed to know.
There were days she was too tired to talk, so Sam talked instead. He told her all about his family and about his work at the VA,then gradually found himself moving on to more painful things. He told her about Riley, before his death, all the good memories until his voice was horse and it seemed she had drifted off to sleep. But when he stood to go, she reached out a hand and looked at him with eyes as damp with tears as his own.
"War is a terribly thing to take such people from our world," Peggy told him. "I lost more friends than I can even remember these days and each time I forget I feel I have betrayed them. Hold on to the good memories, Sam." And here she gave a weak smile. "We just have to live enough for all of them. Riley would be proud of all you've done."
Somehow, coming from her, with her voice filled with understanding, seemed to finally heal something in Sam that he hadn't realized was still raw. He smiled down at her, and gave her hand a gentle press. "Thank you." Looking at the time, he placed her hand back on her bed. "I should let you rest now."
Turning off the lights as he left, Sam made sure to turn and say, "I know whoever you lost is more than proud of you. Steve sure as hell is."
As he made his way down the hall, he was sure he heard an equally honest thank you as the one he had given her.
...
As he and Steve were using Sam's apartment as home base for the search for Bucky, he continued his visits. Sam would ask if Steve wanted to join from time to time, but he usually got a negative. This time though, the visit was once more for business. Sam sat at Steve's side and listened, typing notes from time to time on his phone as Peggy and Steve talked.
"You know, Sam," Peggy addressed him for the first time since their initial greeting. She was feeling good today, sitting up and smirking over at him. "Steve owes me a dance."
"Still, man?" Sam said in a teasingly scolding tone.
Steve turned pink at their combined attention and just stuttered trying to come up with a response. "We need to focus," he tried instead, holding up some maps.
"We're just talking history, it can wait," Peggy admonished him. "Now I can't dance, but Sam can. I think you at least owe me seeing how bad you really are."
Sam was unsure where this was going, but he wasn't going to back down from Peggy's side. "What, America's big hero never danced?" He nudged Steve in the side with his elbow.
"There is a record player around here somewhere," Peggy tried to sit up a bit straighter to look, but Sam was ahead of her. Leaping up and pressing a gentle hand on her shoulder, he spotted a cloth that seemed to be covering the right shape.
"But-" Steve tried.
"You hush," Peggy chuckled at him. "You at least owe me this."
Sam set up the record player as best he could, Steve reluctantly standing to find records as Peggy told him. She had Steve hold them up and she chose which would be used. "Okay boys, come over here." Steve placed the pin on the record and swing music filled the room, little crackles interrupting it as a piece of dust got in the way of the needle's track. He joined Sam in the clear portion of the room.
"Sam, you will need to lead," Peggy ordered, grinning wickedly over at them as though she was implementing a grand plan.
Sam placed his right hand on Steve's hip, while Steve's right rested shakily on his shoulder. "Is this a bad time to admit I haven't danced much myself?" Sam asked Peggy over his shoulder, making her chuckle even more.
It ended up being a half hour lesson on dancing, with Peggy gleefully coaching from her bed. At least Sam caught on first, but that was at the cost of his own toes.
He had to leave first, going to so a session at the VA, so he released a thankful Steve and bid Peggy farewell. She gave him a pat on the cheek and thanked him for the most entertaining afternoon she had it ages. Leaving her and Steve to get back to work, he caught part of a conversation he was sure he wasn't suppose to as he put on his coat in the hall.
"Steve, you better ask that boy out," Peggy tutted, and Sam almost revealed himself choking in surprise.
"Peggy," Steve scolded right back. "Is that was that was all about?"
"I'm old enough to be your grandmother, Rogers, I feel I have the right to play matchmaker." Peggy's smirk could be heard in her tone. Sam hurried out after this, cheeks warm.
...
The update was Steve didn't ask him out, and Sam pretended he had not heard any such thing about Captain America asking out him. Or that he found himself thinking how nice it would be to be asked out. Nor how said date might go. No, Sam wasn't a teenager and wasn't thinking about any of those things. 'I'm so doomed,' he conceded to himself, as he walked down the hall to Peggy's room after a two week trip out searching for Bucky.
She was more in the past today, talking to him sometimes as if he was a soldier or agent under her command. He listened and got her water, and she seemed relieved to have someone to talk to. She got worried when he left to get the water.
Near the end, before he had to leave, she remembered who he was, at least some what. "Have I ever told about when Steve informed me he liked men as well as women?" she smiled in memory, but Sam was surprised. Though really he shouldn't be, considering the conversation he overheard a couple weeks back that was causing his mind such trouble. "He didn't want such a secret to be between him and someone he... cared so much about."
Sam couldn't help but ask, because he was curious, "What did you say to that?"
"I just accepted it," she told him. "Took me maybe an hour or day or so to get my head wrapped around it, but I realized it didn't matter. Well it mattered to Steve, but it didn't matter with our own relationship." Peggy gave her one of her chuckles. Sam had been informed by one of Peggy's sons he was the only one able to get her to laugh so much. He thus treasured them. "It was actually fun to have someone to talk about the attractive soldiers with. I'd mention "have you seen that new lieutenant" and if Steve went beet red I knew he had. Funny I didn't feel jealous except when it came to girls." She gave a little frown now. "Probably some internalized sexism or something."
Sam left soon after, as Peggy had drifted to sleep to Sam telling stories about his sister. He had to smile thinking about Steve and Peggy giggling about their attractive brothers in arms. 'If only the history books knew about that,' Sam thought, shaking his head.
...
It was nearly a month since Sam had seen Peggy. "She's missed you," her son tells him as he passed through. "She hasn't been doing well. She hasn't recognized me in days."
Sam pressed a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
The smile he received was forced and broken, but grateful, and Sam appreciated the effort. "Head on up, I have some medical paperwork to fill out."
Sam found Peggy gazing out the window. He passed around her bed to sit in the chair at her side. "Hey, how are you doing?"
She squinted at him, and Sam found himself holding his breath as he waited to see if she could recall who he was. Maybe this was the reason Steve found it so hard to bring himself here. To see the two people that he cared about the most forgetting not only him, but themselves, would be heart breaking. Peggy did finally smiled and say, "Sam. I'm good dear."
Sam patted her hand and was going to tell her about what he and Steve had been up too, how they had actually seen Bucky this time, when a serious look formed on Peggy's face. "Has he asked you out yet?"
Sam blinked in confusion, before remembering what he had taken to calling The Conversation. Shaking his head, "No he hasn't." At Peggy's look of distress, he assured, "It's no big deal. We have a lot of things on our hands, from finding Bucky, to his Avenger work and my stuff at the VA."
This didn't console Peggy though. She gripped Sam's hand and looked him straight in the eye. "Steve and I waited for the world to give us a break. It never does and it never will. Just look what happened to us."
Sam was surprised by her intensity, and before he could speak, to assure her, she continued.
"Don't make our mistake, Sam," she told him. "Promise me you will ask him. Go get coffee or whatever you kids do these days."
Not wanting to cause her distress, Sam did as she asked. "I promise." He just hoped it was a promise he could make himself keep.
...
It turned it out he could and he did, taking motivation from the memory Peggy's distressed face.
Turns out Steve said yes to coffee. And then asked Sam on the next date. Turns out they were already living together, so it was easy to transfer Steve's stuff over to Sam's bedroom as a month passed by in growing domestic bliss. Turns out Peggy took great joy in their happiness. She opened up even more to Sam, gushing to him about her family life, something she had skirted around before. Turned out even without Steve she found great happiness in work and at home.
...
Sam and Steve were discussing getting a dog when the call came. She had passed away in her sleep.
Her funeral was a full as her life. Peggy had changed a lot of lives, and had done a lot of good. "Thank you," was all Sam could find to say. It was no where near enough.
...
Years later, would Steve and Sam named their daughter after her.