All For Love

I hesistated a little before answering. "Me? I'd have said to hell with tradition and gone off on my own, planted wheat instead of corn, made some money as a scribe, and married some other girl. Life is what you
choose to make of it, Leif. Opportunities are always there, you simply have to see them, and
then if you wish, you need the courage to act upon them. That way you'll always be happy.
And you'll never end up a grim old sourpuss who needs a switch to keep his students in
line." I finished with a wink. "Now, tell me the truth, am I not a better teacher than those
others you've had?"

"The best," he assured me and grinned.

And I was. Too good, unfortunately. A fact which would later return to haunt me.
Had I known then . . .but it's always easy to look back and say what if. Back then during
those halcyon days of spring and summer, I was content as I'd never been, with an eager
student to teach all my hard won knowledge to, and my daughter beside me, with her witty
comments and spirited grin. Life was good.

I should have known it was too good to last, but I had forgotten the lessons of my
youth. And I had not reckoned with love throwing everything into turmoil.

I had been aware for some time of the infatuation between Leif and Belle. I had
watched the seeds of it sprout and take root that day when Belle had engaged my apprentice
in that conversation about the merits of women versus men. I did not think it would blossom
into a full-fledged romance. I had seen such things before, and I reckoned that it would burn
itself out in time. I noted with amusement the little glances, the smiles, the giggles when
they chanced to meet beside the barn and thought I wasn't looking. But the glances lingered
and grew more heated, and the smiles they exchanged were those secret ones only a lover
may know, and giggles became whispers. One month became three and then six before I
realized that the infatuation had deepened into love. I may be wise in the ways of magic, but
in matters of the heart I'm a babe in the woods.

Soon enough the whispers became cuddles and I knew it had grown serious when I
saw them kissing beneath the oak tree one morning, having chanced to look out of my
window at the thrushes singing. My first impulse was to rush outside and demand to know
what in blazes they were doing. But I checked that instinctive fatherly impulse. It was quite
obvious for one, and for another, I did not truly mind them being in love, if this was what
it was.

I liked Leif, he was intelligent and thoughtful, kind and considerate. He would be
a fine magician once he completed his training. Not quite a master, but a respectable magus.
Even more important, he made Belle happy. She glowed when she was with him, and there
was that indefinable sparkle in her eyes that spoke of a woman who was in love and knows
her love is returned. I had seen that same look in Nanna's eyes when she looked at Baldur
and once or twice in Sigyn's as well.

So I didn't play the overprotective idiot and get hysterical over that kiss. I was
certain that if there were something between them, Belle would let me know. She had
always come to me before with her confidences and this time, I was sure, would be no
different. She was simply waiting for the right moment. I doubted they had gone further
than kissing, for one thing my room was across the hall from Belle's and I would have heard
if anything had been going on. Of course, they could have used the barn or snuck out to the
woods, but Heror and Olga would have known, and they would have lost no time in
gossiping about it to me.

Leif had been raised to the honor of a Vanir noble, and when one of his class finds
the woman he wishes to marry, he proposes first and beds her afterwards, once the alliance
is safely contracted. And I knew my daughter well enough by now to know she was no
lightskirt, and only when she gave her heart would she also give her body. Then again, there
is a certain chemistry between lovers that's very apparent if you know what to look for,
which I did. It was not there between them. So I had no fear that he'd gotten her pregnant.

But I didn't think it would be long before he asked her, and then asked my
permission as well. Still, I kept silent, allowing them to think their little secret was
undiscovered. I played my role so well even Ava was fooled.

I caught her singing one evening over the chicken she was basting. "Gonna be a
wedding round here sure enough! I can always tell." She was muttering to herself and then
she broke into song, something about bluebells and spring and young lovers in a meadow.

"What nonsense are you babbling about?" I inquired, stalking soft-footed up behind
her.

I caught her off guard for once, for she jumped like a scalded cat. "Master Loki! You
gave me a fright," she gasped, and shook her spoon at me in reproof.

I gave her a guilty little smile, then repeated my earlier question.

"Tisn't nonsense at all," she declared, sniffing haughtily as if I'd just compared her
cooking to a troll-wife's. "It's as plain as day to those whose eyes are open enough to see,
Master. And not being blinded by tricks."

"Meaning me, I suppose?"

"And who else would I mean, seeing as you and me are the only ones in this kitchen
that ain't in love with each other?" she asked, tapping the spoon against the side of the oven.

"Ah. You're speaking of Belle and Leif. You think they're in love then?"

"I surely do, sir. And I can't believe you didn't notice it before, and you supposedly
this all-powerful magician," she snickered.

I let her laugh, then I punctured her inflated sense of pride with one sentence. "Of
course I knew! Do you think I'm stupid? A blind man could see they were in love."

Ava's tiny mouth fell open. "Then—then it's not a surprise to you? But-But if you
knew, then why didn't you say anything?"

"To whom? You or them? They already know and now so do you, little Nis." I said,
grinning archly.

"Master Loki, you are so bad!" she said, stamping her tiny foot. "Knowing a thing
like that and never telling me! What's the world coming to, I'd like to know, when the Nis
is the last person in the house to know 'bout a wedding? You ought to be ashamed of
yourself, keeping me in the dark, so you should!" Then she crossed her arms and gave me
a very severe look, rather like an indignant cat.

"Does this mean I don't get any dessert tonight?" I asked, pretending to be chastened.
I had to bite my lip to keep from howling with laughter.

"Humph! For that you ought to go without dessert the whole week."

"If I promise to be a good boy and never to do it again will you forgive me?" I asked
humbly. "Or do I have to stand in the corner too?"

She eyed me askance, then snorted. "Oh, you—you silver-tongued rogue! Just get
out of my kitchen. You're making me forget what herbs I need. Go on, scat!" she made as
if to whack me with her spoon.

I ducked, laughing. "Do I still get dessert, O Most Wonderful and Incomparable of
Nisses?"

"Yes, yes. Here!" and she snapped her fingers and an entire cherry pie materialized
in her hands. "Now get, before I serve you liver and onions for supper stead of chicken . .
. sir."

I took the pie, thanked her, and got out. No sense in pushing Ava too far. Nisses can
be temperamental little creatures. I heard her singing an old wedding tune as I left. I smiled.
It'd been a long time since I'd tricked a pie out of Ava. Then I took the pie to my study and
ate two slices of it. No sense in letting good food go to waste, now is there? It was delicious,
bursting with cherries and the crust was crumbly and buttery.

One afternoon, Leif said he was going up to Valhalla to trade the butter and cheese,
since that day was market day in the capital, and he needed to pick up a few things. I waved
him off, he knew he didn't need to ask permission to leave, he was free to come and go as
he pleased. He whistled as he saddled Briar, the strawberry roan gelding I'd bought for him
five months ago, and loaded the cheese and butter into the saddlebags. Bella and he
exchanged significant glances. Then he was off, and Belle was smiling and humming to
herself.

It was a beautiful day, mild and sunny, and the robins had built their nest right under
the eaves of the house and had just had three eggs hatch. I watched the parents feeding the
babies, smiling fondly as I recalled my own days of running back and forth with bottles.
And now my baby girl was all grown-up and considering her first proposal of marriage.
Damn, but my eyes are watering! Must be the pollen from the sunflowers.

I went inside and found Belle standing at the window that faced the road, a dreamy
smile on her face. I could hardly fail to notice the way she was dressed—in her best aqua
silk with the white lace edging on the cuffs and hem, her silvery-gold hair put up and the
pearl earrings I'd given her for her birthday last year in her ears. Dainty Moroccan leather
slippers of the same hue as the dress were on her feet. The runestone I'd fashioned for her
long ago was still on her neck, worn proudly.

I gazed at her and thought how beautiful she was, such a girl as to make any father
proud. Pride warred with sadness in my breast then, for once she married, she would leave
me and go to live with her new husband. Perhaps I could build them a small cottage beyond
the pasture near the woods, far enough to give them privacy, but not too far. After all, Leif
was still my apprentice, married or not, and he would continue to study with me until I
pronounced him graduated. Belle would do the same with Ran, so in that regard things
wouldn't change.

I decided then to break my silence. I had a feeling that Leif had gone to Valhalla for
more than just selling cheese and when he returned in a day or two, it would be with a
betrothal ring. He probably needed some time alone to think about what he was doing,
especially since he was doing it without the approval of his lord father. That in itself was
a huge step, never mind the betrothal.

I think Belle suspected this as well, thus the dress and the longing looks out the
window. I came to stand beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Is there something
you'd like to tell me? You seem unusually . . .happy today."

She turned to face me, and her jade eyes sparkled brilliantly, glowing with
excitement and delight. "I am happy today, Father. You see, Leif and I . . .we're in love and
I think that today he's gone off to buy me a ring." She was grinning, obviously rapturous
over the coming proposal. "D'you think he might return tonight?"

"He may, if he finds what he's looking for," I said, smiling back at her. "Has he
asked you to marry him then?"

"Uh, not officially, but I know he means to as soon as he has the ring. Are you glad,
Father?"

"Does he make you happy, Belle?"

"Oh, yes! He makes me want to sing and dance all the time and he says I make him
feel the same. I love him, Father, and it feels wonderful."

"Then that's all that matters." I hugged her then, kissing her gently on the cheek.
"Congratulations, my darling girl. I wish you and him every happiness."

"Thank you, Father," she whispered, tears of joy glinting in her eyes. "I only hope
his will prove as understanding."

"And if not?" I asked cautiously. "What will you do then?"

"We'll marry anyhow, and his lord father be damned," she declared fiercely. "Leif
says he won't approve of me no matter what, since he likes to choose his sons' wives for
them. And I say it's not his place to choose for us and I'll make him a better wife than any
blue-blooded Vanir lady, no matter what ancestors she has. And if his lord father doesn't
like it, he can bloody well stay home and miss the wedding."

"And what does Leif say to that?"

"Leif says his father doesn't own him and he can get on quite well without him. And
if the old man decides to cut him off, well, he can make his own way as a magician and so
can I."

"That's the spirit. I'm glad that young man has finally got up the guts to tell his
father to go to hell. Maybe now he'll stop living in his father's shadow and start being his
own person. All that nonsense about marrying another pedigreed Vanir lady always made
my stomach turn. They treat their children like purebred dogs or horses instead of people
with minds of their own."

"Well, Leif certainly doesn't believe any of that nonsense. He said just yesterday that
he'd marry me or no one at all. Do you think we should have the wedding here or maybe
at Ran's palace?"

"Uh, wherever you like, I guess. Though Ran's palace will be more able to
accommodate a lot of guests."

"Yes, I hadn't thought of that. I must ask Ran if she wouldn't mind playing hostess.
But I have to wait till he gets back here with the ring." She began to tap her foot impatiently.

"Stop that," I ordered. "You're making me crazy. I suppose we may as well
celebrate early. Come on, let's go to my study. I'll have Ava bring us some champagne."

"You have champagne?"

"Yeah, just a few bottles though. Because you never know who's going to get
married." I said, and twirled her around. Then I set her down and bellowed, "Ava!
Champagne in my study, if you don't mind. We're celebrating a betrothal here. Or we will
be as soon as the groom gets back."

We retired to the study, which had suddenly sported a table with a white tablecloth
and a large bouquet of fresh flowers. We sat down and soon enough Ava appeared with the
champagne, iced and poured into two crystal flutes. I lifted my glass. "Here's to my
daughter, may she have the marriage I never did and may it be joyful."

We touched glasses and drank. "That's so sweet, Father." Belle said. "Only now I
feel bad, because once I marry you'll be alone again."

I held up a hand. "Whoa there, princess. Don't you worry about me. It won't kill
me to be alone, I've lived alone longer than you've been alive. I'll miss you, sure, but all
children grow up and leave home eventually. You just did it quicker than most, that's all.
Guess that shouldn't surprise me, you always were quicker than average."

"Are you sure? Because we could wait . . ."

"Positive. You do what feels right to you, sweetheart. If you want to marry him by
the end of summer, you can. Or wait, as you choose. But don't you dare put anything off
on my account, you hear me?" I pretended to frown dreadfully at her.

"Yes, sir," she said, and pretended to touch her forelock, the way commoners did
when Odin went by on parade. Then she lost her air of mock servility and giggled. "I can't
tell you how excited I am about this. It's just too bad you don't have someone too. You're
alone too much, Father."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on. You're in love so the whole world has to be, is that
it? Belle, love, like time and tide, waits for no man. If it's meant to happen it'll come and
find me. Just the way Leif did you. Until then I'm content to play the solitary magician.
You're my family, girl, I don't need a wife. I'd probably drive her crazy anyhow. Soon
enough I'll have grandchildren running about the place, and then I'll long for that peace and
quiet." I poured myself another glass of champagne.

"As you say, Father," Belle said meekly, but there was a speculative gleam
in her eye that I didn't like.

"Hey. Don't get any ideas about fixing me up with some woman at the wedding
either. Otherwise I might forget how old you are and take you over my knee." I warned.

"I wasn't thinking anything like that!" she protested, but with a half-guilty look on
her face, and I knew I'd been dead on target.

"Forget it, Belle. I don't need a fifteen-year-old playing matchmaker."

"I'm sixteen. Not fifteen," she corrected. "And that's much too old to spank." She was right, she'd had a birthday this past month.

"I know. I was kidding about that. But not about the matchmaking."

"Oh, very well. If you want to stay here and brood all by yourself in your tower, go
ahead."

"I'd hardly call it brooding. And I'm not really alone. There's Ava and Heror and
Olga."

"A Nis, a horse, and a goat are hardly substitutes for a wife."

"If I wanted a wife, young lady, I'd have gone out and gotten one when I took you
in. But I didn't need one then and I don't now. Now quit worrying your head about me, you
stubborn snip, and just concentrate on planning your wedding, huh?"

"I love you, Father," she said.

"Love you too, Bright Spark. Now, what kind of cake do you want? How about double
chocolate with strawberries and buttercream frosting? You always liked that on your
birthday. You've got to pick the cake first, since Ava needs time to make it."

"And you need time to test taste it," my brilliant daughter pointed out knowingly.

"That goes without saying."

"I like chocolate, but Leif doesn't. How about a yellow cake with peach filling and
buttercream frosting?"

"Bananas. Peaches aren't in season. How about we make it half and half?"

We discussed cakes and menus and guest lists till Ava called us in for dinner. Leif
still wasn't back yet. We ate without him, arguing good naturedly over details. If that seems
strange, please remember this was my only daughter's wedding, and she had no mother to
help plan it. Nanna and Sigyn were going to have to help with the bridal gown though. I
draw the line at clothes. Meals and guests I can handle, clothes are a woman's mystery and
best left to them.

When she went to bed, Belle was still walking on air. I was mentally calculating
costs in my head and wishing I had time to rob a bank down in Midgard. Do you have any
idea how expensive a wedding is? Even with my magic defraying some of the expenses, it
was going to chop a huge hole in my savings. I wished Odin would hurry up and get home.
He was always good for a loan, and Bella was his niece. Oh well, your daughter only gets
married once, right? Thank the stars I didn't have to go through this with another one.
Maybe we could serve tuna at the feast, that was easy enough to catch, and Ran's people
would make sure everyone had enough. But was tuna suitable for a wedding feast?

I fell asleep still pondering the merits of fish versus wild boar.