Wow!! I got 9 Reviews, just for the prologue!! Thank you! I'm glad I managed to stir some emotion in some of you too =) Ok, so Jakes letter to Bella is in bold. I know they are small chapters but I wanted to keep it short, otherwise I tend to babble on a bit lol. Please keep reviewing it makes me soooooo Happy =D

I took the letter in my shaking hands and opened it; ready for the onslaught of pain I was sure to feel. He's written me a letter. My Jacob. My Jacob, who I will never see again. I unfolded the letter but didn't dare look at it; instead I looked at the back of the page, taking it all in. He cared about me enough to write me a letter, and I was too cowardly to read it. I sniffed the letter, trying to inhale some of Jacob's scent, no matter how potent it was to me now, but it didn't work, I rested my eyes on a large spot on the back of the page, a dark blotch on the white paper. A drop, of water maybe? Or a tear. A tear Jacob had shed for me, but I couldn't shed back. That was something that really cut me up inside, I couldn't shed a tear for his loss, all this sadness is bottled up inside me. I turned the letter over, slowly and began to read…

Hey Bella,
How long has it been? If Leah is doing this Shit like I told her to, it will have been about a month.
How're you holding out? Well, I hope. Remember what I told you, Bella. I meant every word. Here's something to keep you occupied; Smile. Think about it, when was the last time you smiled. Was it recent?
Do you think about me? Does it make you sad? I hope not, Bella. If I remember rightly, I was only really sad when you were sad.
How is your family? Is everyone missing me? Stupid bloodsuckers had better be taking good care of you.
Tell my Pack I love them, tell Leah she will make a perfect Alpha, and I'm watching down on her.
Tell yourself Bella, read this and tell yourself how happy you made me. You are truly amazing; you changed me for the better. I miss you so much, and, from my spot here in the sky, I'm watching you. You may not need me any more, but I need you to know I'm here. You can talk to me, tell me everything, I want to hear it. If you're reading this Bella, I need you to know, for every tear you've shed over the years, each tear you've wanted to cry since I've died, my heart has broken, just a fraction more each time. Keep strong Bella, for my Nessie, if nothing else, don't show her you're breaking, don't show her you're sad. Give her a kiss from me and tell her, her Jacob loves her more than she will ever know. Tell her everyday, that she made me happier than I ever thought possible and tell her, her smile lit my world.
I miss her. I miss you. I miss my girls.

I love you Bella, forever.
Your version of forever, not mine
Jake
x

I smiled, tentatively to myself; despite everything, he was still worrying about me. I turned to Leah and tried to smile, tried to show him I was going to do this, for him. She was knelt by his grave, silently, staring intently at the ground, at the spot where he was buried.
'It's going to be hard, isn't it?' I said, quietly, showing her the letter. She lifted her head to look at me, and smiled. She's doing better than me, anyway, at holding it all together. She, too, held the letter to her heart once she'd finished reading it. A lone tear rolled down her face and she wiped it away angrily.
'He didn't want me to cry.' She said, more to herself than to me. 'Do you...' she held out the letter, not bothering to finish her sentence. I nodded, feeling terrible for taking it off her.
I turned to leave again. Once I reached my car, I was sobbing silently again. I sat on the leather seat, curling my legs up to my chest, re-reading the letter and trying to muster up the energy to smile again. It felt so false.
I drove home in silence, thinking of all the "what ifs".
What if I could have saved him?
What if we found out about it quicker?
What if Nessie doesn't remember him in a couple of years?
His Nessie. Does she even remember him? It's been a month now, enough time to forget. Not that I ever will.
When I pulled into the Cullen driveway, I could see Edward standing at the door, waiting for me. I got out, clutching the letter to my heart again, hopelessly. Edward held his arms out in silence and I ran to him, desperate to feel him close. Closer than my Jacob would ever be now. My body convulsed with silent sobs, shaking me violently, draining me. 'He wrote a letter. 12 letters. For me' I said, reluctantly handing my now crumpled letter to Edward. He scanned through it in silence, only turning to look at me once he'd finished.
'He asked you to do something for him Bella. Smile. That's all he wants, he doesn't want the tears, or the heartbreak. Do you think this is what he pictured when he was writing this letter? You trying to cry? Please Bella, do this for Jacob.' Edward soothed, rubbing his hand up and down my arm lovingly. 'Do it for Jacob....'

******

I lay Nessie down in her small bed and brushed her beautiful long curls out of her eyes. 'Goodnight Nessie, I Love you. Your Jake loves you, as much now as he did then. Sleep, precious girl, sleep and dream.' I gently kissed her on the head before going to turn out the light. I sighed; everyday these past few weeks, I'd been honouring my promise to Jacob. I smiled more, at least I tried anyway, and I told Nessie often all about her Jake. Silly stories about good time's we had spent, I showed her pictures and most importantly I told her how much he adored her. I flicked out the light and whispered into the darkness; 'He loved you more than you'll ever understand Nessie.' I mooched down the stairs, and into the front room and I smiled again, trying not to crack, trying to hold a smile in place despite the fissures in my heart splitting again.
Jasper knew I was trying; yet he chose to keep quiet. I've gotten a lot closer to Jasper over this past month and a half. He knows how much I'm hurting. But he also knows how much my pain affects everyone else. Not long after I received the first letter Jasper and I struck up an agreement. An agreement that I would let myself heal, that I would give myself more of a chance to grieve before I tried smiling again; it was cutting Jasper up just as much as it was me, and it's not fair for me to spread my hurt around. In return for me letting myself grieve a bit more, Jasper wouldn't tell Edward, or Alice or Esme, or anyone else, that I was upset. It works for us both.
Hell, it's not as if I'm never happy, though!! Far from it. Seeing Nessie's smile, spending time with Edward, talking with Alice; all happy things. But it's like that dripping water, the same drip I felt when I "lost" Jake the first time, only this time it's for real.
Jake, Jake, Jake, Gone, Gone, forever...
The littlest thing, like telling Nessie about him, like visiting Billy or even Charlie, little things, yet they are enough to tear me up.

I sat down on the love seat next to Edward, and flashed him a smile, a real, unforced smile. Something I found so natural around Edward. 'How long is it until the next letter?' he said, nuzzling his lips against my jaw line.
I took a sharp intake of breath at the question and Edward pulled away to look at me 'I am so sorry, what an insensitive thing for me to say, I'm-' I held my hand up to silence him, and smiled again, albeit slightly more forced this time,
'Edward, it's Ok, we can't go around not mentioning him, it's about another week if Leah sticks to it properly.' Edward looked at me like I'd gone mad, and then hugged me close with such power all the air came gushing out of my lungs. A hug, which very much reminded me of Jacob...

I was going to make this longer, but decided against it, don't know why, I just liked ending it there =). Please review; every single one makes my day/week/month/year!! And Thank-you to my A-M-A-ZING Beta OhMyEdward472, she's the best =) Emily xxx

Note from OhMyEdward472: Awww! Isn't she awesome? It's easy to be a great Beta when it's such a great story! So go on...review! She deserves it. =D