Hey all – here's a little Spirk to round off your week!
Thanks to StayLikeThat4Now, Chimcha, Dreaming-Of-a-Nightmare, Kelgadis, hpets, Mars-Eclipse, Secret Thought, Jord-El, MeEksiNs, Ashley, Silver-ShadowSpark, wmonica, schan, steph88NYC, Shinigami061, starfire angel, and Dreamwriter613 for their reviews!
naruke3176 – thank you, and be patient! the man's only been awake an hour and he IS a bit groggy! ;)
lovefan81 - *dun dun dun*…..that's all I'm saying :P
Life in the Neutral Zone
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Stardate 2258.114. At the request of the Federation, the starship Enterprise is dispatched to Earth Station 8, located at the edge of the Romulan Neutral Zone. It is suspected that recent distress calls in the area are due to Romulan attacks, and the Enterprise is tasked with defending the colonies and space stations in the area. On the way there, the ship encounters hostile Reman rebels. Striking up a temporary peace agreement, Kirk and Spock are left to pilot the Enterprise out of danger on their own, in return for their crewmates' safe passage to the space station. Along the way, Spock is exposed to the neurotoxin trellium-D.
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"Don't worry Spock," the Captain said, giving him a friendly clap on the shoulder, "I think there's a lot of crazy going around right now."
Automatically, Spock stiffened at the contact. Vulcans were generally not fond of touch. This time, however, the Vulcan felt a shock of heat and flood his body as the Human hand met his shoulder.
Illogical, he had time to think, knowing that Vulcans were as a species far hotter in temperature than Humans. The next moment all thought was washed from his mind as a vivid scene burst before his closed eyes.
Jim was kneeling before him in the mess hall, his eyes pleading even as his posture was defiant. Spock's blood pumped in his veins hotly, irrational rage filling him as his mind brought forward every thing James T. Kirk had ever done to cause him anger. Things that he had long forgiven the man for resurfaced with a vengeance and Spock found himself unable to reason them away again. Almost against his will he felt his leg swing up and collide with the vulnerable captain's stomach and it was only through great force of will that he avoided using enough force to have killed the man. As it was, he reveled in the thought that the Captain would have bruises tomorrow.
"Feeling up to some lunch Spock?" asked a voice from far away, and Spock was pulled from his recollection. Shaken, the Vulcan took a moment to reply. His brain felt sluggish, slower and far less straightforward than usual. Eventually he nodded, rising from the couch and following the Captain to the door. As the light from the hall flooded in, Spock had to repress a moan as a wave of nausea hit him. He saw Kirk grinning out of the corner of his eye.
They walked in silence, friendly on the Captain's end and perplexed on Spock's, to the mess hall. Spock barely saw the hall they were in, as he turned the scene he had remembered over in his mind. Horror and fascination warred in him equally as he realized how close he had come to killing the Captain and then that somehow, even without any of his Vulcan control, he had not.
As they entered the turbolift, Spock decided he should convey to the Captain that he had recalled at least part of the day's events, as embarrassing as they might have been for him. Without looking at the man, Spock said, "I assume you do not require any medical attention for the injuries you sustained to your stomach during the course of events of yesterday?"
He could not bring himself to say 'injuries that I inflicted on you', but Kirk did not seem to notice or dispute is version of events. Instead, the Captain turned to him and exclaimed, "So you do remember!"
Spock took a moment to analyze the man's posture and expression. If he was correct, the Captain seemed to be slightly more on edge than he had been. The Vulcan had a feeling that he was still forgetting something important. A frustration like that which he had not felt since he was very young and had not learned to master himself welled in him unexpectedly.
"I have just recalled my actions in the dining area," Spock said, still studying him hard. "They were….extremely regrettable. I would like to apologize."
Kirk raised his eyebrows and the expression was so similar to Spock's own look of skepticism that the First Officer was nearly surprised into missing what he said next.
"Extremely regrettable?" Kirk smirked. "Well, I guess you could put it that way, though I think my stomach – and most of the rest of my body – would disagree."
He rubbed his stomach absentmindedly for a moment before continuing. "Then again, I suppose I'm just lucky that you didn't kill me. Thanks for that."
"It is highly illogical for you to thank me for not committing murder and to ignore my other obvious indiscretions."
"I think it's illogical for you to have been trying to kill me in the first place," the Captain stretched his arms with a vague air of cockiness. "What can I say, I'm a forgiving guy. Not all of your indiscretions were so bad anyway."
Spock raised an eyebrow, noticing that Kirk was looking surprised even at himself. He had stopped mid-stretch and Spock thought he recognized the puzzled expression on the man's face. "Captain?" he asked as they left the turbolift, desiring clarification.
After a brief moment the Captain's face settled back into a comfortable and confident smile and he replied, "It was kind of fun to see you lose control for once. Reminds me that you're only Human."
Spock raised his eyebrows again, this time in amusement at the Captain's assertion. Kirk laughed good naturedly at his own slipup and amended, "Well, that you are partly Human anyway."
"Indeed Captain," Spock said, feeling an irrational desire to smile back at the man. Illogical, he bereted himself again. Kirk had not said anything clever or kind enough to merit a display of emotion. Spock felt out of control, unfocused. He resolved to meditate at his earliest possible opportunity.
The mess hall was as how he had recalled it – the area in the furthest corner was completely destroyed. Tables were overturned and a dish was shattered under one of them. It had been shattered so violently that Spock's perceptive eyes could pick out pieces of it scattered over much of the room. The back wall, he saw with an unexpected pang of guilt and shame, was missing a few tiles at knee height where he knew that the Captain had collided with it.
He turned to see the Captain was staring at the same spot, rubbing one of his shoulders with the other hand. When he realized that Spock was looking at him, Kirk turned to give him a smile that clearly conveyed his relief at his continued good health. Grabbing a plate, the Captain ordered what Spock knew to be his Terran favorite, a hamburger, from the replicator and then went to sit at the nearest intact table. Spock did the same, under the Captain's watchful eye. He soon discovered that the replicator had not been fixed completely – every dish he ordered seemed to end up containing some derivative of ground beef.
Kirk gave him a sheepish smile, "I guess I had hamburgers on the brain when I did the repairs."
"Indeed," Spock said, very slightly amused.
It was not until he was sitting across from Kirk picking ground beef out of his garden salad that the Captain asked, "So, any idea how you ended up dousing yourself in Vulcan LSD then?"
"Trellium-D is hardly equivalent to the recreational ergoline drug to which you are referring Captain," Spock replied seriously. "Though it does have a similar addictive effect on Vulcans. I would suspect that once I was in contact with a small amount it is likely that I would have then endeavored to increase my exposure and thus, the effects."
"Still, I'm guessing you weren't down there because you fancied a high," Kirk said, his expression making it clear he was not in any way accusing Spock of drug abuse.
"Your assumption is accurate," Spock said, nodding. "Shortly after you left, I set myself to the task. I recall it being oddly calming. I then received a brief transmission from the Remans and then decided that it would be prudent to re-insulate the warp cores so that they might better maintain an operational temperature."
The Captain sat up suddenly, "The Remans? What did they want?"
"I believe," Spock said slowly. "That they called to request the co-ordinates of the Space Station."
"Huh," Kirk said, sinking back into his chair. "That was it?"
"As far as I recall Captain, though the entire memory is unclear, as is much of the day that followed."
"Hmm, we'll have to send them a message and ask then. So, have you remembered anything else yet?"
"Indeed not," Spock said quietly. "I would inform you if I had."
"Would you?" Kirk said, betraying surprise.
"Yes," Spock answered simply. Then, casting his eyes around the room, he said, "I must admit that I am curious about the events following our encounter here. I am perplexed as to how you managed to evade me long enough to conduct research on the compound to which I was exposed."
Kirk smiled, "I tricked you into going to the bridge and then I locked you in."
Spock was impressed, though he did not show it, saying, "And yet I did not wake up in the bridge."
As he said it, Spock felt the world around him dissolve again. He was standing at the door of the bridge, pounding on it with his fists and raising dents like angry bull. He unleashed all of his rage of the reinforced doors, pouring all of his drug-induced anger into his arms as he felt his rage slowly slip away. Soon he was sitting in Jim's chair on the bridge, running his fingers up and down the arms in despair. He was ruined and he knew it, but more important he had ruined any relationship he might have had with Jim. He was worthless, a shame to his whole race….
"Spock," the Captain was saying empathetically, waving a hand very close to his face.
Slowly the Vulcan regained his awareness, flushing slightly. "I apologize Captain, I was experiencing a new recognition of my time on the bridge."
"Oh?" Kirk was plainly intrigued. "Did you learn anything interesting?"
Spock took a moment to collect his thoughts before replying. "I believe I have, yes."
The Captain simply looked at him encouragingly and so Spock continued, "I believe I have gained insight into how I managed to avoid causing you mortal injury during out confrontation."
"Oh yeah?"
"Indeed. I believe it was because I did not….want…to," Spock said slowly, feeling his face burn at the admission. Kirk was considerate enough to act as if he had not noticed.
"I thought that trellium-D stuff got rid of all your logic though?" he asked through a mouthful of cow. "If it makes you really angry for no reason, why would it matter what you wanted?"
Cringing a bit at the Captain's eating, Spock explained, "I think you have misunderstood me Captain. It is my theory that I felt an emotion other than rage and that it kept me from damaging you irreparably."
"But, the trellium –"
"Trellium-D has an enraging effect on Vulcans," Spock said patiently. "However, as you pointed out earlier this afternoon, I am not a Vulcan."
It took a moment, but then Kirk understood. "You're Human as well," he said with dawning comprehension.
"Indeed. It would appear that while the parts of my mind that are Vulcan were incapacitated, my Human reasoning and emotion remained intact. They are both inherently weaker than their Vulcan equivalents, however, so I still was not in control."
The Captain whistled and leant back in his chair and said, grinning, "Sounds like your human side is a cool guy."
The corners of Spock's mouth tilted in the smallest of smiles, an event that did not go unnoticed by Kirk. Still smiling cockily, the Captain said, "Jesus Spock, what's gotten into you today? That hangover has addled your mind."
"To what are you referring Captain?"
"Oh come on Spock, for you you've been downright emotional all day. Blushing, smiling, you're acting strange, don't deny it."
Spock's eyebrows traveled up to his hairline, "I am impressed with your perceptiveness Captain."
"Hardly," Kirk said, pushing his chair back and getting to his feet. Spock followed. "Even Bones would have said you were off today Spock."
"Indeed Captain," Spock replied calmly as they left the hall. "Trellium-D often has long term effects. I shall need to look it up in the ship's medical database to be sure, but I believe that these episodic memories I have been experiencing are another side effect."
"You don't say," Kirk said, looking thoughtful.
They walked in amicable silence to the turbolift. As Spock pressed the button that would send them back towards their quarters, Kirk turned to him with the air of somebody who had a secret they were bursting to tell. Spock thought that perhaps he was about to discover the source of the Captain's earlier agitation.
"So you don't remember anything after the bridge though?" he asked. Judging by the speed of his voice, Spock correctly guessed that the man was nervous.
"If you are referring to how I ended up spending the night in your quarters in only my undergarments," Spock actually had to fight to keep the amusement out of his voice at the look on the Captain's face, "I have not yet been able to recall, no."
There was a pause as the elevator swished into action. Spock broke it with the charitable, "I am assuming that the purpose of my disrobement was due to their contamination with the neurotoxin?"
"Obviously," Kirk said quickly. There was another awkward pause, which Spock finally broke again, reflecting as he did so that Kirk was right, he was acting very peculiarly today.
"Captain, your heart rate is elevated and you are flushed," Spock pointed out. "Forgive my presumption, but is there additional information you wished to share with me?"
Kirk gave him a look of incredulity, "How would you know that my heart rate is elevated."
"I can hear it," Spock explained easily.
"I don't believe it," the Captain muttered, looking vaguely distressed. For the first time Spock began to feel apprehensive – what had happened to make the normally confident Captain so unnerved?
His human emotions taking control again, Spock reached out to grab the other man's bruised wrist. Kirk's eyes flew to his face as Spock felt the same shock of heat spread over him as he had earlier that day. Embarrassed, Spock masked the gesture by turning the man's palm over and pressing his own thumb to Kirk's wrist.
The Captain's pulse was rapid, as he knew it would be. "I can assure you," Spock said as calmly as he could considering that with each beat of the Captain's heart he felt his own racing slightly quicker. He flushed. "I am not mistaken. Your heart is beating at an unusually high rate."
Kirk gave a long, appraising look and then suddenly spun his hand in Spock's so that the Vulcan's grip loosened and he could entwine their fingers. Spock gasped.
"Now to do you remember?" Kirk asked him, looking him defiantly in the eye. And in that instant he did.
Cool skin pressed against his chest, his forehead, his hands and arms. That familiar beating pulse under his lips, those blue eyes locked on his own and then, then the intoxicating taste of the Human's mouth as his tongue claimed the weaker man's mouth forcefully. Different, better, so much better than Nyota. Both his Vulcan and Human emotions, in conflict all day, swelled in triumph. Their combined effect was too much. Cool hands on his burning skin sent him over the edge. The shards of reason he had left told him that it was unwise to betray so much emotion to his Captain, his Jim, but he could not care. Especially not when the pleasure seemed to be mutual. Half a year's worth of building affection for the man welled up as their eyes locked again and he wound their fingers together, both of them panting.
The vision faded, leaving Spock gasping for breath. Slowly Jim Kirk swam into focus in front of him, looking very much as if he expected to be thrown into a wall any second. "Welcome back," he said with a brave attempt at cockiness.
Spock stared at him, and then his eyes fell on their still-entwined hands. He went to pull away, but Jim held his grip firm. "I – I do not understand," Spock muttered, betraying more fear than he had intended to.
"Me neither," Jim said, far more at easy. Spock supposed that Humans in general, and James T. Kirk in particular, were much more at ease with a lack of comprehension than Vulcans.
"I apologize, Captain," Spock said finally, hanging his head and this time succeeding in parting their hands. "It would appear that I exhibited a great lack of discretion."
"Not all of your indiscretions were bad Spock," Jim repeated, sending him a puzzled, indecisive look. Then, with a cavalier look that Spock associated with the Enterprise's imminent involvement in some impossible and dangerous undertaking, he stepped forward.
Spock stepped back against the wall of the turbolift, everything in his Vulcan upbringing telling him to end this illogical situation. The doors of the lift opened as Jim stepped toward him again, blocking his progress out. Spock briefly considered using his superior strength to escape, but when Jim's hand came up to push gently on his shoulder he found that he long longer wanted to leave. His own heart was racing as fast as his Captain's as the Human took his wrist in his hand and gently pressed their foreheads together.
Jim did not kiss him, however. Slowly, as their eyes locked in a searing gaze of illogical intensity he raised Spock's hand to the side of his face. Spock's eyes widened.
"Do it," Jim whispered, and the words were almost a dare, a reckless command.
The Vulcan gave him a searching look. It would be so easy to do it, to abandon logic, reason, and to give into the feelings he had not even known he had been denying himself all these months. He took in the defiant set of the man's shoulders, his nervous pursed lips and his blazing eyes. Then, with just the slightest rearrangement of his fingers, he gave Jim's mind a little push.
It was not a true meld, there was no need for that. A simple rush of emotion flooded his mind. Affection warred with confusion, lust with apprehension. Jim was as confused as he himself was, but also more confident. Excitement tinted all of his feelings that flowed into Spock. Through the haze created by this rush in his mind, he saw that Jim had closed his eyes and that his moth had fallen slightly open, one corner curved up in a smile. Spock knew that he was feeling the same emotions from him as he felt from Jim.
The elevator pinged, reminding them to disembark.
Suddenly the Human opened his eyes again, locking them on Spock's. A blaze of lust shot through Spock and he could not tell where his feeling ended and Jim's began, but it did not matter. The Human's eyes widened as he stared, waiting for Spock to act. Spock's willpower faltered for an instant, and that was all it took.
The hand that was not already on Jim's face came up to tangle in the man's hair and pulled his face closer. Their lips met softly, but with intensity that Spock could not have imagined from his limited experience with Human affections. He suddenly wondered if this was how Jim felt with each of the Starfleet cadets he had bedded in his days in training. Illogically, he found himself hoping it was not.
Cool hands were pushing him into the wall and Spock could not help it, he surrendered to their pressure. Cool hands roamed his body, finding their way under his uniform and through his hair with bewildering speed as Jim kissed along his neck, sucking and biting gently in a way that the Vulcan had never experienced. Spock reciprocated by hooking his leg around the back of the Captain's calf, pulling their bodies flush against each other. Kirk gasped, "Spock."
The elevator pinged again. Spock gave a soft growl of frustration and then, reaching behind Jim's slightly twisted leg, lifted his partner off his feet and lifted him bodily from the elevator. Jim's eyes widened and he wrapped his legs around the Vulcan instinctively. Spock's hand fell from his face, finally breaking their emotional connection. Spock held him up with one powerful arm as Jim crashed their lips together, immediately gaining entry to Spock's mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance as Spock took the few short steps to the Captain's quarters. Jim began to struggle to regain his footing without breaking their kiss and it was not until they had nearly reached the couch that he managed to free himself from the Vulcan's arms.
Jim broke the kiss suddenly, his roaming hand coming to rest on Spock's shoulder and pushing him back. The push was not strong enough to have toppled the Vulcan, but he fell back just the same, lying obediently out on the couch.
The Remans could wait, he decided. The ship could wait too. As Jim climbed on top of him, his hips pushing Spock deeper into the furniture as he tugged off his golden uniform, the Vulcan began to think that, at this rate, it might just take them all ten days to do the repairs after all.