Note: The Order of the Golden Dawn did exist, and they were in to some of the stuff mentioned here. As mentioned, Yeats and Bram Stoker were members.

Thanks to my beta Mabel for catching me in the spots where I come across as too "lectury". :0)

NOTE: Lydia's character is mentioned in two episodes, one in S5 and one in S7. Her last name is not mentioned in either ep, nor is it mentioned on the actresses website. If anyone knows where I can confirm a last name, please send me a note with the URL. For now, I'm sticking with Anderson. :0)

And as always, I don't own the Buffy characters and am making no money off of this.

Chapter Thirteen

William came to a halt as the door connecting the garage to the house flew open.

"Jackie, I can explain!" he said, holding up his hands in defense.

She stared at him. "Explain? You're going to explain why you're not in New York meeting with your agent? You're going to explain why Elliot Reynolds was sitting at his usual table at the Four Seasons, waiting for you? William, Reynolds waits for no one!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for me spending the last forty-five minutes on the phone calling the airline and your hotel and your cell phone looking for you? Sorry for me being worried half out of my mind that something terrible had happened to you?"

He was taken aback by her vehemence. "I – listen, I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath and stared at him. "What's going on? This isn't like you. Since Friday and that incident at Beauvais, you haven't been yourself."

He laughed roughly. "You don't know the half of it, love."

An odd look flitted across her face. "What does that mean?"

"Well, some strange things have happened since Friday," he said. He looked at her closely, wondering how much to tell her; wondering how much she could handle. Finally, he made a decision. "Follow me." He turned and led her into the house.

***

"Buffy, Wesley was convinced that the Shanshu was only meant for Angel and I tend to agree with him. What is going on with William is completely different," Giles said. He looked at his limited notes in frustration. "If only I had all the resources of the Council at hand. There was documentation on Spike's life; the Council had been following him closely. It would be a tremendous help if we had that."

"Well, we don't," Buffy said as she cleared away the remnants of their tea. "So what do we do now?"

"Willow gave me a couple of spells that we could try to stir his memories," Giles said. "If I could piece together some specifics around his earlier days as William the Bloody, I might be able to make some stronger connection with the hermetics."

They both looked up as the yelling escalated in the hallway.

"This, Jackie," Giles asked. "You've met her before?"

Buffy shuddered. "Once, very briefly. Cold and stuffy."

The yelling stopped and they heard footsteps walking towards them.

"Brace yourself," Buffy muttered. She turned and forced a smile as William came back into the family room with Jackie in tow.

Jackie caught sight of them and paled.

Expecting some sort of cold, caustic greeting, Buffy was taken aback at the woman's reaction.

Even more shocking, was Giles'.

"Lydia?" He asked, coming around the counter from the kitchen and into the family room. "Lydia Anderson?"
William and Buffy spared one quick, confused glance for each other and then looked over at the budding drama in front of them.

"Rupert?" the woman asked tremulously.

"What are you doing here?" Giles asked. He smiled and hurried to her side. He drew her into his arms for an embrace. "My God, I thought you'd died in the explosion in London! This, this is magnificent!" He pulled back and looked her over, shaking his head. "What happened? How did you survive?"

Jackie – or Lydia rather – pushed her hair back and rubbed her hands down her skirt. "I –I'd forgotten some papers and a book at my flat, so I'd left to go and get them. When I got back, the building had gone up in flames."

Giles pulled her back into his arms for another hug. "My goodness! Lydia, that must have been shocking."

She nodded, clinging to him. "It was awful, Rupert. There was nothing left."

"Well, you weren't the only survivor," Giles said in an attempt to comfort her. "A handful of Watchers escaped the Bringers."

"Who?"

"Stephan was in Lourdes at the time and managed to hide for months, Celeste was in Toronto, and Manuel and Carmen were in Recife. And now, you."

"Where are the-"

"Uh – hello – still standing here," William interjected. "Sorry to break up the lovely little return of the prodigal whatever – but can someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on here?"

Giles turned to them, a puzzled look on his face. "I'm sorry, I just assumed you knew who she was. She appeared to be an acquaintance of yours."

"Well, Ripper, you assumed incorrectly," William said. "As apparently, did I." He turned to 'Jackie'. "Who the hell are you, really?"

Buffy stepped in front of him in a defensive gesture and William looked down at her in bewilderment. He gently pushed her aside.

"Appreciate the gesture and all, pet. But I can defend myself against the likes of these two."

"My real name is Lydia Anderson. I was born in Melbourne and my parents moved to Oxford when I was fifteen. My father was an anthropology professor there and my mother worked in ancient languages. As you can imagine, they traveled in some interesting circles." She glanced over at Giles and he nodded for her to continue. "When I turned twenty, I was approached by members of the Watcher's Council. And from then on, I worked and studied with them."

William frowned. "But how did you end up here as my assistant? And what's with the name change?"

"After the destruction of the Council, I went into hiding. I returned to Melbourne, took on my grandmother's name, changed my hair, and tried to continue my work."

"Your work?" he asked. "Your work? Your work was managing my work?" He looked over at Buffy and Giles. He didn't know about them, but he was completely baffled. He definitely did not like the smile on the old guy's face. That did not bode well.

"Yes!" Giles said looking from Lydia to William. "This is perfect! Far more perfect than I could have asked for."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Now I'm getting nervous. I haven't seen him this excited since he ate a truck load of band candy and hit on my mom." She shuddered at the memory and glanced at William. "Do something, quick."

He shrugged. "I haven't a clue what they're talking about, love."

"Lydia's work was your work, in a manner of speaking," Giles explained. He squeezed Lydia's shoulder proudly. "She is an expert on Spike's life."

Buffy snorted. "What? There was an expert on his life? He wasn't even an expert on his own life!"

"Precisely, which is why a member of the Watcher's Council was appointed to study him and follow him. He was an anomaly and he was unpredictable. Lydia was his biographer, she wrote her thesis on him." Giles said happily. "Buffy, I'm surprise you didn't recognize her. She came to Sunnydale. You met her briefly at the Magic Box."

Buffy stared at him. "You're kidding me right? I'm supposed to remember someone I met once, years ago?"

William shook his head. "This git had his own biographer? What was it with this bloke?" He glanced at the women. "What was it with the two of you women? Fang bangers," he muttered beneath his breath.

"I was not a fang banger," Lydia bit out defensively. "I was a professional. A researcher and his biographer." She glanced over at Buffy in disdain. "I kept a professional distance. There are lines that should never be crossed."

"I'll cross some lines," Buffy muttered.

Giles turned to Lydia , tossing his folder with all his precious notes onto the coffee table. "Tell me, Lydia, it's not the Shanshu prophecy is it? Tell me I'm right."

She looked over at William shook her head. "No, it's not."

"A hermetic cult?"

She nodded and Giles grinned. "Yes! I knew it!"

Buffy looked nervous. "Hermeta whatsa? That just doesn't sound good."

Lydia looked down at her, eyebrows raised and then shook her head. "I just don't get it," she murmured, and then she turned to Giles. "Yes, Rupert. I noticed the connection between Spike and the hermetics right from the beginning. It was around the same time that he was sired that a small cult in England took hold, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn."

"Dawn? Does this have something to do with Dawn?" Buffy asked in concern.

Lydia sniffed and rolled her eyes. "No, it has nothing to do with Dawn and, interestingly enough, it has nothing to do with you. Imagine that!"

Buffy crossed her arms and glared at her.

William bit his lip and covered his mouth with his hand to hide the smile that threatened.

"Of course," Giles murmured. "The Golden Dawn. This is very interesting." He turned to Buffy and William. "They were a group of gentlemen; some of them well known actually, Yeats and Bram Stoker were members. The order was similar to a Freemasons' group with a hierarchical system. They believed that studying hermetic principles would help them achieve understanding."

Lydia took over. "There were three orders within the organization. The first order were men and women who studied the four classical elements as well as things such as tarot, astrology, and geomancy. The second order looked at scrying, astral travel, and alchemy. The third order, the 'Secret Chiefs', were incarnate spirits who guided and aided the members of the Golden Dawn."

William abruptly sat down. "So what you're saying is that a bunch of blokes went around reading tarot cards and tossing rocks about looking for answers that they believed were coming from spirits that helped them?"

Lydia looked displeased at his flippant summary, but nodded. "At a very rudimentary level, yes."

William rested his head in his hands for a moment, breathing deeply. Then he looked up. "I know I write gothic novels and I've done my research on demons and I know a whole lot about orders. I wrote the bloody book! But really – expecting me to believe that all this," his gestured encompassed Buffy, Giles and Lydia, "is real and not just my imagination, well, I – I'm at a loss."

Buffy sat down next to him. "Remember the other night; you know the vampires are real," she said softly.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around that, and now this?"

Buffy looked up at Lydia and glared. "You still haven't explained what this has to do with Spike and with William."

"I was getting to that," Lydia replied coolly. "The Golden Dawn's main focus was on alchemy: the destruction and creation of new forms of matter, both physical and spiritual."

"The phoenix," Giles exclaimed. He pointed to William's tattoo. "The phoenix was a hermetic symbol of alchemy and a universal symbol of mystical rebirth and immortality. Early initiates to the hermetic path in ancient Greek and Roman times were referred to as phoenixes."

Lydia looked down at William. "I became convinced, quite early on, that Spike was the Golden Dawn's own alchemy project."

William gaped at her. "Project? Like an experiment?"

She nodded. "Yes, you see William Pratt traveled in some of the same circles as members of the Golden Dawn. I hypothesized that members of the Golden Dawn, knowing William had been made into a vampire, followed his progress and his life with the expectation that he would fulfill their beliefs."

A look of dawning awareness showed on Giles' face. "My God, how did I not consider this? Of course, I was so caught up in Shanshu, it never even occurred to me to look elsewhere."

Lydia frowned. "The Shanshu prophecy is Angel's destiny, not Spike's. If my notes and most of my final thesis hadn't been destroyed in the bombing, you'd know all this." She took a deep breath and continued. "Spike's destiny was foretold in the hermetic writings. It's not a prophecy so much as a belief. The hermetics believed that under the right circumstances, the right human could be transformed through the alchemic process: nigredo, albedo, and citrinitas rebedo. I had predicted that Spike would go through this process."

William looked at Buffy and shook his head. "And I thought I had an imagination. You realize that I couldn't have come up with this even if I'd tried."

She sighed and sat down next to him and took his hand. "I've sort of picked up over the years that there will always be something more unbelievable around the corner. Just when I think I've seen and heard it all…"

Giles was nodding and writing frantically. "Lydia , it's brilliant." He held up a piece of paper with a series of three symbols on it. "Spike went through stage one, nigredo when he became a vampire – it was the putrefaction and the dissolution of his blood. Then, when he died in the fire at Sunnydale, he went through albedo, whitening, which is why he returned as a ghost. And finally," his voice rose in excitement as he pointed to the last symbol, "after he was staked in Los Angeles, he went through citrinitas rebedo, enlightenment and the unification of man with God. He became, literally, the phoenix who rose from the ashes."

Lydia nodded. "Exactly, if the writings of the Golden Order are to be believed then Spike was transformed into what they saw as their highest order of 'Secret Chiefs'."

William, his face pale, tried to make a joke. "See, Buffy, I'm a God," he said weakly.

Buffy was ashen too. She glanced over at William, and then back to Lydia and Giles. "But, he's not a God, he's not even immortal, he lost that in the transformation."

Lydia nodded. "The Golden Order was not so much obsessed with immortality as they were with transmutation. In their eyes, Spike has been transformed. He went from life, to death, and back to another, completely different life. The order, if they were still around, would be extremely pleased. He has lived for well over a hundred years, as far as they are concerned, he's found a certain immortality without giving up his humanity."

"Why me?" William asked softly. He stared down at his hands, not looking up. "I don't understand why this is happening to me. Apparently, the world is full of vampires, so why did this happen to me?"

Lydia's face, looking down at William, softened with sympathy.

"I truly believe that Spike was special. I always have," she murmured. "As a human, his soul was bright and his humanity unquestionable. When he became a vampire, he managed to do something that no other vampire had ever done, he kept a part of his soul and his humanity. A tiny spark of it remained." She looked over at Buffy. "He was able to love deeply."

Giles shook his head. "But the atrocities he committed!"

Lydia nodded. "He was still a demon, a killer. He was capable of committing horror as well as feeling the deepest love. He was the perfect combination of black and white."

"Nigredo and albedo," Giles said.

They both looked over at William and Buffy.

Buffy couldn't hold back anymore. "So the transformation is final? There's no going back?"

Lydia shook her head. "Not that I know of. The only thing I have observed is that some of his memories have slipped through the transmutation. The soul, with all its experiences deeply embedded in it, is very strong and quite resilient."

William glanced over at Buffy. "But for all intents and purposes, Spike is dead." William murmured.

"Yes," Lydia said, her tone final. "He is gone."

Buffy stood up and not looking at either of them, she left the room.

William got to his feet and eyed Lydia. "You've lied to me all this time."

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

Her eyes gleamed with tears. She had lost all her customary haughtiness. "This was my life's work. I had nothing else."

"How did you find me?"

"The Internet," she explained. "After the incident in Los Angeles, I knew what to expect and I kept looking. Then there was small picture and article of a missing man who had been returned to his family. There was a photo and I recognized you."

"And my family?" he asked angrily. "How are they involved in this?"

"You are a genetic match to them," she said. "As far as they are concerned, you are and have always been their son. In reality, you 'became' their son in 2004. They believe that you had gone missing for several months and were found beaten and unconscious in an alley in London."

William thought back to that conversation with his mum. "Were you ever in contact with them?"

Lydia sighed. "Yes, I inferred that certain people had been responsible for your condition and that should they ever show up asking questions, she was to deny any knowledge of them and contact me."

William rubbed the back of his neck. "And who are these 'certain people'."

Lydia glanced apologetically at Giles. "Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Rupert Giles and a man going simply by the name Angel."

"You recognized Buffy the other night," he stated. "The whole bit about looking for her wallet was a farce."

Lydia nodded. "That's – that's why I tried to get you to New York. I called your agent and rescheduled your meeting. Tuesday was the earliest. I had to hope that was enough. It was integral that you not come into contact with her again."

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

She gestured to the room. "Because of this! I couldn't allow this to happen. It ruined everything."

"Ruined everything? Everything?" He leaned forward, glaring at her. "Ruined what? Your little experiment?"

"William-"

He held up his hand. "Let me ask you one more question."

She bowed her head.

"Did you ever, EVER, consider telling me all this?"

She looked up at him, entreating him. "I did."

"Then why the hell did you not say something?"

Giles stepped up and placed his hand on Lydia's shoulder. "Because she was taught not too," he said. "It is what Watchers do. We watch and we observe and we record. We do not interfere."

"Bollocks," William yelled. "I'm not some specimen to study. I'm not some, some new species or experiment to observe. I am a human being!" He turned on his heels and stormed from the house.

TBC