"KING DEDEDE DEMANDS AN EXPLANATION FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM!"
The Valkyrie Peach turned to face the source of the irate voice addressing her, her right hand resting upon the tip of her combat umbrella. Even without the introduction, roared at the top of his voice, she knew it was him. Only DeDeDe would try and use a sword as bludgeoning instrument to break down a door. Well, perhaps Ike, but, to the best of her knowledge, Ike wasn't dead. She would have nabbed him for her Einherjar collection if he was. Provided she could tell him apart from the others.
"I'm afraid that I have as little information as you do." she said, "If I did know what was happening, I would be working on a solution, not desperately herding Links."
"They're like chickens but worse!" added Zelda. The other woman was sat at a desk, staring through a one-way glass panel at the enormous chamber that their balcony overlooked, in which endless rows of Links formed some semblance of a large queue, all pushing, bickering and waving swords around. The Einherjar were helping to keep order by beating them with sticks when necessary.
"KING DEDEDE CANNOT REMAIN LIKE THIS!" yelled the fat-penguin-turned-small-sword-wielding-Hylian. He would have sounded more impressive if he still had a loud, booming voice and not one that was suddenly several octaves higher.
"At least you have your personality." said Peach, "Most people took on Link's personality as well. You must be exceptionally strong-willed to remember your previous life."
"We think Sonic mostly retained his personality." added Zelda, pushing a button on a control panel under her hands that caused several of the more rowdy Links to receive strong electric shocks. She could see DeDeDe looking at the buttons longingly. This made a change from him looking at her and Zelda longingly, "However, he does seem to have an unusually strong urge to kill Ganondorf."
"That's because this is so obviously his work!" said Sonic – or, at least, an unusually fast-moving Link – who walked through the door with a tea tray. He looked down slightly forlornly at the wreckage of their once ornately carved door, "Who else would have any motive to do such a thing?"
"Why in sweet Gigyue's name would Ganondorf want to do it?" asked Zelda, "NOBODY would want such a thing to happen! It has to be a malfunction! We should just go to Hyrule and..."
"Don't be stupid!" snapped Peach, "If its this bad here, how bad is it going to be in Hyrule? The Links are naturally all going to flock to Hyrule! It'll be complete pandemonium!"
Privately, Zelda felt a pang of guilt about this. When she originally banished Link permanently from Hyrule, she had hired Samus to guard the gates and kill him if he tried to re-enter the Kingdom. The bounty hunter now had only two choices: to remain at her post and defend the gates to the last against insurmountable odds or to abandon the mission and risk damaging her reputation as the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter forever. She admired the woman and did not want to cause so much trouble for her. She suspected the trouble would be rectified in the same way that most Samus-related trouble was: by paying her vast amounts of money. Money was becoming a problem for her, though, since she became a Valkyrie. Princesses normally had a lot of money, but provided they were still Princesses and remained in their Kingdom. The money wasn't really hers, it was Hyrule's. Outside Hyrule, she had nothing. As a Valkyrie, she needed money about as much a frog needs save points, so it didn't normally bother her, but it made paying Samus difficult.
"You must do something!" ordered King DeDeDe, "King DeDeDe will not live his entire life in this inferior body! I demand you think of something NOW!"
You're lucky I let you live at all, thought Peach. At least you've lost some weight now, you flabby penguiny bastard.
"We could ask Pit." said Zelda.
"Pit? What's he got to do with it?" asked Peach.
"He knows some Gods of his own, remember? His father is Zeus and his mother is Palutena."
"Who?" asked Peach.
"Palutena. Female. Archer. Beautiful beyond comparison. Ring any bells?"
"You mean Lenneth? Didn't she used to work here?"
Zelda shook her head and sighed, "What I'm trying to drive at, is that Pit has some contacts down in the Underworld. It might be a problem at their end."
"Well, its an idea..." said Peach.
"King DeDeDe thinks it is an excellent idea!" said DeDeDe, clapping his hands, "We must go now without delay and talk to our friend Pit! He will be glad to see us!"
Before Zelda could react, DeDeDe had somehow grabbed both Sonic and Peach by their arms and was pulling them out of the doorway with much more force than Link's small frame should logically be able to exert. She looked at them, then back at the chaos being wreaked in the main hall. Two Links were trying to make a break for it in the opposite direction. Someone should stay behind and watch over everything, she decided. As long as Peach didn't try and steal Sonic for her own, Zelda trusted her colleague to sort out the business with Pit. She was a tad psychotic, but you needed to be a psychopath to deal with several thousand Links.