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Stripped Desire – Chapter 14: Minimalism
"Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks."
Samuel Johnson, The Idler; Poems.~
I run my tongue over my lower lip, shocked about what just happened but already addicted.
His eyes are on fire.
He laughs and shakes his head before lowering his hands from my neck down my arms until he intertwines our fingers.
His hold is strong.
I sigh, looking down to our touching feet. My entire body tingles with the familiar feeling his presence entices in me, intensified by his proximity.
Everything is magnified—the noises of the street, the chillness in the air.
My heart is racing.
"Hey," he says, bending his knees a little to search my eyes. "Don't pull away from me."
"I'm here," I say in a low voice, still not meeting his eyes. He steps back.
"I can almost hear your mind turning, over thinking. Please don't." His voice sounds pained.
I can see why he's thinking this, but I wish I could tell him my mind has never been as quiet as it is right now. I don't think I can articulate coherent sentences to explain this to him.
"Let's just enjoy this," he says. I nod and let him pull me into a hug. I breathe in his scent and feel him doing the same.
I don't know how long we stand there holding onto each other, but I know it's not enough, because too soon, Rosalie comes out looking for us. We jump apart at the sound of her voice.
I offer a quick compliment to the dance routine and a flimsy excuse for leaving so soon.
"It's okay. That way you can be surprised the night of the recital," she says, waving my apology away. I don't miss the strange looks she gives us.
"I'll see you then," I say.
Edward tries to grab at me, telling me he'll take me back home. I refuse, walking out of his hold.
Rosalie reminds him about something he needs to do for her and his distraction gives me enough time to make my exit.
Each step feels like victory and defeat all at once. A part of me wants to lock myself in my bedroom and make a list of reasons of why I shouldn't have kissed Edward. The other wants to turn around and run away with him.
As the thought enters my head, I realize how true it is.
I walk faster.
"If you had a boyfriend, I would try to get you an invitation, but I don't think you should come to this wedding while being single. It just wouldn't work," my mom says on the phone.
I stare at the mess of papers on my desk and make a humming noise to alert her I'm still here.
"We could find a date for you. I'm sure one of your dad's associates has a single son."
"Probably," I say, not sure what the right answer is. I'm only half listening to what she's saying.
"I was thinking of going to New York soon," she says after a minute of silence.
"What?"
"So you are listening."
I sigh. I can't believe I fell for that. Renee Swan is never coming to New York to see me.
"I need to go. I can't talk right now," I say as an excuse.
My cell phone vibrates on the desk.
"We talk once a week," she says walking the line between rage and poise.
"And that's too much," I mutter.
"What did you say?"
"I said we'll talk next Sunday. Goodbye Mother." I hang up the phone and stand up to check my cell.
It has a recent missed call from Edward. He has been calling me all weekend while I stare at the blank pages of the list I was determined to make.
My mind is still a mess.
I close my eyes and see him—his smile, his green eyes, his hair.
I touch my lips and feel him.
I touch my skin and crave him.
The kiss replays in my head rendering me unable to do anything but lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I have never felt this lost and consumed by my thoughts, by my desires.
That day, for the first time in a long time, there's no nightly routine.
I fall asleep without warning, and I dream.
"Well, well, well, look who's late," Alice says when I open the door to my office. I contain the urge to glare at her. I declared the entire morning a disaster when I woke up ten minutes late, without having my things sorted out the night before.
"I'm not late," I say, looking at the wall clock. It's 7:55. "You're early."
She snorts.
"I had to see Jasper off. He's away on business," she says.
I nod and move her away from my desk. She pouts but goes along.
"Where's he off to?" I ask, turning my computer on.
"Philadelphia," she says.
I arch an eyebrow, waiting until she elaborates.
She shakes her head. "Art convention or something. He and Edward were driving me nuts about it. It was the only thing they talked about." She shakes her head in annoyance, but I can see the smile in her eyes.
My heart races faster at the mention of his name.
"Edward went with him?" I ask, touching a button on my jacket.
It's her time to arch an eyebrow.
"He did. Didn't he tell you?"
"Why would he?"
My tone must have been harder than I intended because Alice stands up holding her palms up.
"No reason. I'm sure he'll be back in time for your, um, session," she says. I cringe. I haven't even thought about that. I haven't thought about anything. We still have one Friday to go.
I give her a look and she walks out of the office, winking before closing the door.
Monday and Tuesday are spent trying to get some order back into my life. Organizing little things throughout the day, as well as keeping my life on schedule gives me something to focus my mind on.
It relaxes me.
Still, I think of him.
Friday is a spot on my calendar that looms closer, yet I don't know what to do about it.
A knock on my office door distracts me from my thoughts. Lauren opens the door and peeks in. I nod for her to come in.
"You have a visitor," she says. "No appointment, but your agenda's clear right now."
My heart thumps inside my chest. I run my hand through my hair and sit up straighter.
Rosalie Hale comes in, holding a large basket of unidentified goods. She gives me a small smile and places it on the corner of my desk.
"This is from the girls and me," she says. "Our way of saying thanks."
I blink at her in shock, unable to hide my surprise. I don't know what to say.
"Oh God, you didn't have to," I say, touching the pink paper wrapped around it.
"You truly saved us. The girls are calling you Angel Isabella," she says, chuckling.
I smile.
"Um, you're welcome, I guess. It isn't a big deal. The girls are so talented," I say.
Rosalie beams with pride and nods. "They are."
Uncomfortable silence falls over us. I'm too aware of the fact that she's Edward's friend. I fidget. Maybe she saw us kissing. Maybe she disapproves.
"I'm sorry for leaving before the rehearsal was over," I say, remembering how rude that was.
She waves me away. "It's okay. Edward said that you are a busy person."
I nod.
"He told me you used to dance," she adds, easing into a comfortable subject with a smile.
I laugh and shake my head. "My parents sent me to ballet lessons, and they expected me to excel at it. And then I wasn't placed in the final recital that year, they found out I sucked."
I chuckle again, expecting her to laugh. She gives me a sad look instead.
"Didn't one of them go to your lessons with you? To see how you were doing?"
I look away before meeting her eyes again. "They were also busy people."
My tone isn't as harsh as I could've made it, but it still ruins the mood of our conversation.
She nods.
"Well, you handle yourself with a lot of grace," she says. "It's obvious you learned something."
I smile in thanks.
We stand up and shake hands. Rosalie looks at me with a serious expression, her blue eyes piercing. I don't know what she's looking for.
She lets go of my hand and smiles.
"It's never too late to try again," she says. "I'm here if you need me."
Friday is here.
The day drags on, as if the world knows I don't want to face it today.
My head and my body move at a different speed than usual, making me feel disconnected from reality.
I know I probably shouldn't go to his place today, or at the very least I should call and see if he's back. I know I shouldn't face him again until the memory of our kiss stops leaving me breathless.
That could take forever.
I know all of this and yet, when 5:00 pm finally arrive, I find myself standing in front of his house, knocking on his door.
He opens before I have the chance to regret it.
I walk in before he asks me to.
Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, recommending the story and all that. It means so much.
Next chapter is... well, it woke me up and I HAD to write it back when I only had, like, the first 3 chapters written, so...
See you next time.
xox