I don't own Gintama, Bleach, and whatever other parody characters that are abused by this fanfic, as their creators are already gods over them. OOCness and disaster will now continue in this fanfic, so if you have a feeling that it will be utterly distasteful or horrible in any way, please grab a nearby paper bag or hit the back button. This fanfic may contain spoilers to Gintama episodes. Pairings may start as soon as the next chapter.

Chapter 2

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As continued from the previous story, we now place a board saying "A Few Days Later..." in front of a nonexistent screen.

"SHE STILL DIDN'T F***ING REVIVE ME YET!" Gintoki screamed to no one in particular. We now see him sitting in midair while donning a stark white kimono and a headband with a triangle on the front (imagine Yusuke Urameshi right after he "died"). "And what's with the stupid narration. It won't make sense to a person who's at least 20% less crazier than you."

"Sakata-san," Rukia said while drinking a can of tea, in midair, "you've used the first word in this fanfiction that has to be censored. I congratulate you for breaking the difficult profanity barrier."

"Where did you get the tea, Kuchiki-san?" Gintoki turned to Rukia.

"I ran off to buy a sketch board to illustrate your situation to you, then I saw that the convenience store is having a 50% off sale on canned tea." Rukia took another sip. "But they only had "black tea". What's black tea? Is it the same as oolong? Do you have markers?"

" N-n-n-o-oooo," Gintoki's Jump-reading knowledge narrowly saved him from the terror of Rukia's pictures.

"Oh, I can use this piece of charcoal given by the author just now."

The bullet came back to hit him.

"We only have a few more minutes before his funeral, Rukia. Put the sketch pad away." Rukia glowered and quietly obeyed to Ichigo's suggestion.

"Sakata-san, let's go down to your shop."

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In the Yorozuya...

An assembly of people who knew Gintoki had begun to sit down as the ceremony started. The twin priestess sisters started the funeral as soon as everyone had settled down.

Kagura and Shinpachi sat in the very front row, followed by the snack shop and Otae, part of the Shinsengumi, and finally miscellaneous characters like Kato Ken. Zura couldn't come into the actual building, so he sat on the roof.

Vanilla-saruto de-vanilla amaii- Hijikata's phone suddenly rang in the middle of the ceremony.

"Hello? Matsudaira-dono? Yeah, I'm busy right now. I'll call back in about fifteen minutes. I'm sorry, sir. No, this guy isn't that important. No, I can't save your daughter from a weirdo right now-"

"Oi, you bastaardd," Gintoki muttered as he took a seat behind the vice-captain. "Show some respect, you stupid mayo-filled dumbass." Since Hijikata couldn't hear the dead, he continued to talk on his phone. Okita, who sat next to him, was reading a book titled Sadism 101: How to Torture Your Friends in the Most Bloody Ways Imaginable.

"Hmmm," Sougo said silently so that no one but Gintoki could hear him. "I should try this on China and Hijikata as soon as I get out of here."

"Stop reading in funeral ceremonies, dammit! Is this a repeat of the Jimi's funeral? Is this another parody? Oi, Oogushi-kun, stop talking on your cellphone!" Gintoki said with an annoyed voice.

"Sakata-san, I don't mean to disrespect you, but why do you lack enthusiasm in everyday subjects, yet is so touchy in funerals?" Rukia asked after seeing Gintoki hyperventilate for a few minutes.

"I have no idea," Gintoki said after thinking for a second. He turned back to the front row, to Kagura and Shinpachi, who look as if they are going to boil over. Gintoki could've sworn he heard something pop.

"GIN-SAN/CHAN YOU BASTARD!!!" the 16-year-old otaku and the Yato clans member screamed all of a sudden.

"WHY, OF ALL DEATHS, DO YOU HAVE TO GET RUN OVER WHILE BUYING JUMP?!"

Shinpachi shouted at Gin's funeral photo, which showed him downing a parfait.

"DIDN'T WE TELL YOU THAT JUMP WOULD KILL YA, DAMN IT?" Kagura shoved Shinpachi's face onto the floor and proceeded to yell at the photo. "NOT ONLY DID YOU DIE BEFORE GETTING THE MAGAZINE, YOU HAD TO ANGER NAR**O TOO DIDN'T YOU? NOW SAS**E'S FILING A LAWSUIT AFTER NAR**O CAME CRYING TO HIM LIKE AN UKE!"

Gintoki decided to finally yell at the two that Nar**o was the one who started the short fight, but his voice was caught in his throat when he heard sniffling emitting from Kagura and Shinpachi.

"Why did you have to leave us alone?" Kagura said as wet marks began to appear on the tatami mat right beneath her face.

"You bastard, you didn't even bother saying good bye, didn't you?" Shinpachi said as he took a punch at Gintoki' s photo, at the same time while staring at the floor.

"WE' LL CHASE YOU TO HELL ONCE WE FIND YOU, YOU BASTARD, SO YOU BETTER REST IN PEACE FIRST SO WE CAN KNOCK YOU OUTTA YOUR NAP, DAMMIT!"

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"Ah, Sakata-san, I have some information from Rukia for you," Ichigo said as he took a seat next to the gloomy Gintoki, who sat on a bench in the nearby park. "Otose-san 's getting the second floor reserved for your memory. Kagura is staying at the Shinsengumi household until the Umibouzu returns, and Shimura Shinpachi is going back to live with his sister."

Gintoki gave no reply or any form of response to this information.

"Sakata-san," Rukia walked over with three cans of tea, "Genryuusai- dono just informed me to tell you that you are just temporarily dead."

"What?" Gintoki and Ichigo said at the same time with a look of bewilderment on their faces.

Wow, they act more alike than Renji and Hisagi-san. Rukia thought as she cleared her throat. "Sakata Gintoki-san is to stay in the Soul Society for a few months. Since he has the most spiritual energy in the entire anime world except Bleach, even Nar**o, Mayuri-taicho proposed to study Sakata-san's biology and find the reason to his high level of spiritual power. Yamamoto-genryuusai complied to this proposal, and will send Hitsugaya-taicho to help us open the sekaimon."

"Why the midget?" Ichigo asked.

"Ichigo, he may be lesser in height, but at least he's smarter than you (for some reason, Ichigo didn't shout remarks on the comment)," Rukia said while calmly finishing the tea. " Hitsugaya-taicho is the only person in his squad who can function well, but since he is the only captain without a mission for now, he will guide us. You are following my use of terms, aren't you, Sakata-san, since you've read every chapter of Bleach until the most recent issue?"

"Just one question. How did you guys get into this time plane?"

"The TV Tokyo staff gave us a time machine," Ichigo said simply.

"WHAT? So after all this time, after all the pleas from me they receive for a time machine, they gave you guys a time machine?"

"Well, they only had two, and Sugita-san is using one to try to make the station better. We told them we need to break the fifth wall, so the staff gave one to us."

"So they had a history-changing time machine, yet they didn't bother to sell one to make the station more famous?"

"Well," Rukia said as she crunched the tea can in her fist, "they would have to submit where they found it, how they found it, and fill reports and stuff. The staff is already so busy, so they kept it a secret. Oh, the author decided to cut the story here."

"Why? So you aren't going to kill me off, right? Do I get a zanpakuto-"The END

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A/N: Ryoki Sugita is the publisher of The Nihon Keizai Shimbun Inc., which owns TV Tokyo (Wikipedia). Lots of possible loophole and OOCness in this chapter, and it is the longest I have written. Flame me, boil me, stir fry me all you want, or you can be nicer and just give me constructive criticism and maybe a rating. Lots of parodies in this chapter, but I don't own them. Hijikata's ringtone is the ending of ToraDora, Vanilla Salt. Sougo's book doesn't exist from what I've checked. Ginnoji really can see ghosts, or Stands, or whatever they're called.