He had let her go. He watched her walk away, slowly and deliberately, knowing that she would hope he'd stop her, but he didn't. He was used to situations ending like this and normally he'd suck it up and move on, but this time, he wasn't quite sure if he knew how. Harvey was known for fighting till the bitter end when it came to work, or something he believed in, yet when it came to his heart…well, that was anyone's guess. Perhaps he wasn't worthy of love, or maybe he just didn't believe he needed someone to be content with life, how wrong he was.

Three excruciatingly long weeks had passed since she packed up her belongings in a cliché cardboard box and left the confines of Pearson Specter, along with the last decade of her life. She had put that chapter of her life to rest, and where she should have been excited to start the next one, she couldn't help but wonder if she could have just survived being Harvey's dirty little secret.

She had lost a larger chunk of her identity than she thought she would, the day she left Pearson Specter, she wasn't Donna anymore. The exterior still looked as fabulous as always, but the spark, that feisty red head that everyone loved and feared was no more. No one understood her mannerisms, her quirks, her skills, not like Harvey did. Not like Louis, Mike and Jessica did. Smith and Pierce was a great law firm and she was beyond lucky to get a job there, let alone the signing up bonus, but she missed the grey walls of her cubicle, she missed looking up and staring at the perfectly imperfect man who for a decade had only been a stone throw away. She missed the sense of security, the sense of comfort she had always felt, knowing that Harvey was never too far away. She missed having someone look out for her, even If it wasn't in the most conventional sense.

As for Harvey…well, he was just lost. His wins didn't feel as great, and his losses only felt worse, hell, he had even lost the will to throw sarcastic and insulting comments at Louis. He often found himself staying at the office until the early hours, slaving away, even working pro bono cases just to keep his mind off of her, but tonight, he had other plans.

He had spent the entire day staring at her cubicle, now occupied by some mindless graduate who was probably more than capable of doing the job in hand, but to Harvey, was beyond useless. He had just lost a big case, his first big loss in years and all he wanted was to see her. The words he had bravely admitted a couple of years ago when Donna was fired from the firm over the Hardman memo scandal were now painfully true to him.

He needed her.

He had no idea how to be 'the lawyer' without her.

Over the years she had given him so much more than he could ever imagine, or realize for that matter. She was just as responsible for his success as he was, Donna was his lucky charm.

He left the office early, painfully sober with the weight of the world on his shoulders as he walked through the streets of New York, over the Brooklyn Bridge, towards a place he knew all too well. The sidewalks were eerily quiet, the rain pouring as loud claps of thunder erupted through the sky, drenching the man to the core, no doubt causing some irreparable damage to his $12000 suit.

He ran his hands through his sodden hair, looking up at her apartment, noting that the lights were off and that realistically she was probably still at work, trying to make a good impression. Looking around, he mentally weighed up the odds of Donna returning home before he contracted hypothermia and died, deciding that it would all be worth it for the small chance that she would forgive him.

She let out a shaky breath as the taxi reached her road, her body desperate to relax after having an unnecessarily stressful day. That and the fact she was terrified of storms. The cab came to a halt outside her apartment as she searched through her purse for a twenty, dismissing the change as she quickly jumped out of the car, ready to run inside. That's when she saw him.

She sighed, as she rubbed her eyes tiredly, staring at the man sitting on her doorstep. "What are you doing here Harvey?"

She startled him, his head shooting up, meeting her gaze as he let a small smile spread across his lips. "Donna" her name escaped his lips in a whisper as he got to his feet, his body heavy from being drenched in water. His teeth chattered together as shivers racked through his body, his body numb from the cold.

She wanted to be mad but the sight of the man standing in front of her only made her concerned for his wellbeing. "Come on." She ushered him up the steps into her apartment building, mentally cursing herself for being so goddamn soft. She wordlessly let them into her apartment, as she raced in front of him towards the bedroom, grabbing a couple of towels and a blanket. She looked at him with a frown as she placed the pile of towels beside her, slowly walking towards the shivering lawyer as she slid her arms under his saturated jacket, sliding it off his shoulders. If he wasn't already frozen and shivering uncontrollably, he was sure his skin would have erupted in goose bumps under her touch, his mind reeling as she slowly undressed him.

His eyes never once left her face as she grabbed a towel, gently drying off his exposed skin, working her way up his torso before ruffling his hair with the white towel.

"There" she announced quietly as wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, his body slowly adjusting to the temperature change. He sat down on the edge of her sofa as she sat opposite, her gaze burning into him as she tried to figure out what he was doing here. "What are you doing here Harvey? You could have caught your death out there. Then who would be the best closer in New York City?" a small sad smile played on her lips, her mind involuntarily reliving the memory of when he had first called himself that, many years ago.

"I came here because I missed you" he stated simply through chattering teeth "because I miss you."

"Harvey-" she shook her head, not wanting to get into this again, not wanting to reopen freshly healed wounds. She just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for a year, she didn't have the energy to be dragged through an emotional assault course right now.

"No Donna, it's my turn to talk, please just let me say what I've got to say, then you can throw me out onto the curb. Please."

She wanted to be strong and say no but Harvey Specter would always be her one true weakness, she nodded. "Fine"

He got up, feeling slightly awkward that he was simply standing in front of her in his boxers and a large blanket, not quite the manly impression he had initially hoped for, but was thankful nevertheless. "You said that your biggest regret in life was getting into bed with me?" he asked as she nodded silently "Well it was mine too." She felt her bottom lip already begin to quiver, of course Harvey wasn't capable of being anything other than a complete asshole. "Because it fucked us up, because I fucked us up."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think that I don't know what I did to us when I left you in bed alone after that night? Or what I put you through for years?" he sighed, rubbing his temples "I was a dick, Donna. All this time I've hurt you because I was too scared."

She starred at the floor, too afraid to look at him "I've known you for years Harvey and you've never been scared, it's not in your vocabulary."

He scoffed out a laugh as he continued to pace the length of the room "Then I'm clearly inline for an Oscar, because this" he pointed at himself "is all an act." He sighed "Do you want to know why I left you that night? Because I was scared, scared that you would wake up and regret it, and scared of what I felt. You must have known how into you I was back when we were working in the DA's office."

"No!" she exclaimed incredulously, eyes widening.

"Oh c'mon Donna, I asked you out at least three times a week."

"Oh" she whispered, "I just thought..."

"You thought that I was trying to get you into bed like every other nameless girl?" he finished her sentence off for him, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. Harvey Specter had a past, he wasn't about to deny that, but he hated how Donna's opinion of him had been lowered because of the promiscuous assumptions she had of him.

"Well yeah" she half shrugged "weren't you?"

"When you put it like that, then yeah. But I didn't just want a one night stand with you, I wanted to give us a go."

She was confused; nothing he was saying made any sense. "If you felt that way why did you run away in the middle of the night? Why did you act like nothing happened for years?"

"Because I came to the conclusion that I couldn't live my life without you." He took a step towards her as she poked her tear ducts with her thumb and index finger trying to keep her emotions at bay. "I fuck things up Donna, everything and every one I've ever cared about leaves me due to a wrong doing on my part of some sorts. I'm selfish, I'm mean and I put work above everything else, I was destined to hurt you, to ruin anything we could potentially have. So I decided that I would rather have you by my side in a professional sense, as a friend, then not in my life at all."

She shook her head; as the anger bubbled towards the surface "No" she stated simply "I don't accept that." It was his turn to look confused "If you really thought that, you wouldn't have initiated this ridiculous arrangement between us, let alone continue it for all this time."

"I made a mistake Donna, but there was two of us in that file room, and there's been the two of us every night since." he let out a shaky breath, his body still ridiculously cold "so don't go and palm all the blame off on me. We used each other for our own selfish reasons, but it doesn't have to be like that anymore. I don't want it to be like that anymore." He took a few steps towards her as he wrapped his hands gently around her wrists, bringing her to her feet. She cursed as an involuntarily shiver ran down her spine at his touch, her body jerking in response. He let his grip loosen as he held her hands by her side. "I've spent years denying my feelings, hoping that if I buried them deep enough, they would disappear, but I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of seeing the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with become more and more like a stranger."

Silence fell between them as she searched his face for anything to give away what he was currently feeling "What are you trying to say Harvey?" she asked as a breath hitched in her throat, her heart racing at a million beats per second.

"I love you." He shook his head and shrugged as if his confession was the most obvious thing in the world. She had always dreamed about what it would feel like to be told those three words by Harvey Specter, the elation she would have felt, but this was nothing like she envisioned.

She wanted to pinch herself, to pinch him, to see if it was real. She wanted to run a lie detector test, have medical confirmation that she wasn't in a coma; she wanted some cold hard facts to prove that this was actually happening. "I love you, I've been in love with you for the last ten years."

"How do I know that you're serious Harvey? How do I know that this is not some ploy to get me back to Pearson Specter, or to get me back into your bed?" She pursed her lips as his expression fell, that was not the sort of reaction he was expecting, but then again, this was Donna.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair "Because Donna" he started, squeezing the bridge of his nose "You're the first person I've ever muttered those three words to." It was true, he had never told anyone in his life that he loved them. At times, he thinks it's one of his biggest regrets in life, never telling his Dad that he loved him to his face, even though he knew he did, but the words had always felt so forced, until now.

She opened and closed her mouth, her mind working harder than it ever had, trying to process his statement, unable to wrap her head around it "What?"

"You know I don't do emotions Donna. I am emotionally stunted. When God created this perfect specimen" he said referring to himself, a small smirk playing on his lips "He obviously favored my devilishly handsome looks and outrageous ability to close a case over having the capability to express emotion."

She tried to hide the smile that was creeping onto her face, determined to keep a stern expression.

"I have wasted so much time, caused you to cry so many unnecessary tears because I was too goddamn stubborn to put everything on the line and tell you how I felt."

She felt herself relax slightly, even if inside she was still on full blown 'freak out' mode "What is it you always tell people about taking risks?" she reminded him lightly.

Harvey rolled his eyes "You will live a dull and boring life if you never take risks"

"And?"

"You will never win big if you only look to minimize your losses" he sighed as he let go of her hands "can we save the lecture on how much of a hypocrite I am for later?" he asked promisingly, seeing the resistance in her expression beginning to crumble.

Her smile faltered as the weight of everything fell on her shoulders "What if this" she signaled between the two of them "doesn't work, what if you realize, this isn't what you want?"

"I have spent the last ten plus years realizing that this is what i want, Donna. Life has no guarantees but I know that when I think about my future, the only constant, is you." Her chest tightened as she let the charade drop, unable to pretend to be angry at the lawyer any longer, her face breaking into a grin "You know... this is the part where you tell me you love me too"

"Hmmm" she pondered, letting her hands trail up his arms before finding their way to his neck "I don't know, there's something a lot more exciting about the chase"

"Donna" he warned, arching his eyebrow, too impatient for an answer to be teased, letting the blanket that was draped around his shoulders fall to the ground. He smirked as her eyes distinctively found their way to his exposed chest, her eyes narrowing as they glanced back up at the man.

"Cheap move, Specter." she tutted "we're having a serious and potentially life changing conversation and here you are playing dirty, using your abs as ammunition."

"Is it working?" he asked, leaning towards her, their noses practically touching.

She brushed her lips against his "I think you need to go to the gym a little more, you're loosing your touch." she lied running her fingers over the skin "It's a good thing i love you"

He didn't waste anymore time, as he pressed his lips against hers in a chaste but passionate kiss, unable to stop a smile from erupting on his face. "Really?" he had to ask, just in case he was in the early stages of multiple organ failure and he was going delusional.

"Really."

"So does this mean you'll come back to work?" he asked her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled.

She half shrugged in his embrace "Can I fire the temp? Oh and can I have my own office?" Secretly, none of it truly mattered to her, in her eyes; she had just won the lottery, although it would be a nice bonus.

He rolled his eyes "Yes and how about you just share my office, I'll put in a desk and whatever"

She fought the urge to exclaim 'really?!', surprised that Harvey would even consider allowing her into his personal space "I don't know, I don't think the office is big enough for you, me and your balls."

"What have I told you about talking about my balls?" he scrunched his face up

"Oops" she pursed her lips together, feigning innocence "I forgot how self conscious you get about your balls"

"Any other time I would call you a damn right liar, but I'm afraid of what the cold has done to me" he frowned feeling slightly worried, but mostly embarrassed.

"And here I was thinking that you were going to throw me over your shoulder, take me through that door" she pointed towards her bedroom "and prove me wrong."

Harvey Specter loved a challenge, but what he loved more was winning a challenge. He grabbed her by the waist, throwing her effortlessly over his shoulder, her long auburn hair tickling the skin on his exposed back. "Challenge accepted"

That night may as well have been their first time, all past encounters with one another impossible to compare to the way they felt now. Through the cries of pleasure and countless declarations of their love for one another they fell asleep in each others arms with the reassuring knowledge that after ten years of catching up with one another lies and secrets, that they were finally where they belong.

So there you go, that was my one shot turned 3 part fic. Hope you liked it. Didn't really know how to end it, but whatever! show me the love.

Now for all of you who are cursing me out, wanting to see the final chapter of CTBOP and the next chapter of Maps, your wait is almost over. Both stories will be updated by tomorrow (Wednesday) evening, if you guys show me some love/check out my latest one shots/other stories. Mainly because i have no laptop and I'm writing all my updates on my Iphone and it's taking me ages/killing my soul hah.