AN: Passion Beneath The Cherry Blossoms is a FMA fanfic told only from the point of view of Roy Mustang. This is a primarily Roy/Ed fic. That means there is Yaoi in here. Possible sex scenes at a later date. Thanks for the single review we got.

The nurse left me outside of Edward's room, to give us more privacy. I would be the only one to venture inside.

I turned the door handle and pulled it open as quietly as I could. I wasn't sure if Edward would be sleeping, or… Then I pulled the door shut behind me.

The room was bright. The walls were largely undecorated and a sea-foam green color. I frowned as I crossed the room. Hospitals were such uncomfortable places, always smelling of bleach and other sanitizers.

Then I saw him. Edward slept in the bed furthest to the corner. Someone had left the screen open that was supposed to shield him from any passerby.

I walked over. It seemed to me like an awful nightmare. Edward was paler than I'd ever seen him. His skin was almost translucent, whiter than parchment. He looked so fragile… so small.

I sat at his bedside, pulling up a chair of sterile plastic, and worrying over my unconscious lover.

How I longed to kiss him and tell him everything was alright. But I couldn't do that. That would feel so much like a lie. Everything was wrong. Everything was so wrong.

I took his hand in mine, the human one, and gave it a little squeeze. It was at that moment that Edward opened his eyes. I watched the emotions flicker through his face: Realization of where he was, what had happened, and some sad emotion I couldn't discern. He looked so helpless then, it just about killed me.

I inhaled sharply and Edward noticed me for the first time. His hand jerked out of my grasp. I didn't try to hide my disappointment. I wanted to hold him more than anything. But if things were how I'd assumed in the waiting room, maybe Edward didn't feel the same.

I tried to calm myself before I asked him, but I couldn't. "Edward, it's…" He glanced at me, appearing so miserable; I just threw the words out there. "It's me, isn't it?" I asked, afraid for his answer.

"What?" First he looked genuinely shocked. He quickly became appalled, "No! Of course, not!"

Something in the way he said it made me think it was a lie. "Edward," I said, choking out the words. "If you don't love me… If that's what's upsetting you, you have to tell me. You have to."

"Roy—"

Edward went to argue, but I cut him off. I was pleading with him now. "Edward, we can't go on like this." I realized that I was closer to him now; holding his hand again, my words a whispered plea. "I can't… Edward," I looked at him through watery eyes, trying to contain myself. "I can't watch you hurt yourself like this. Not again… I… I just can't."

"Roy, it's not—"

"They… the doctors told me…They think it was a suicide attempt." I let the concept hang in the air. Edward was quiet now. He only looked sad to me. I sighed and leaned closer, resting my head on his shoulder. This was all too much. Why couldn't he have just stayed happy…?

"It's not you," Edward whispered. He didn't say anything else. I finally believed him.

I closed my eyes, still leaning against him. "Does it hurt?" I asked.

"No," he murmured.

I took this as my cue to wrap my arms around him. He felt cold. I shivered. "What if you'd died?" I asked. "Do you understand how I feel?"

He turned to me. I gazed up at him from his shoulder. He said, "Yes."

"No, you don't," I said quietly, closing my eyes again. "You have no idea…"

He kissed me then, as innocently as I'd ever been kissed. His lips were like butterfly's wings. I held him tighter, promising myself that I'd never leave his side, never sleep again, if that's what it took to protect him.

"I'm sorry."

When he apologized, I was reminded of that morning, when I'd found him on the kitchen floor, half-exsanguinated. I held him tighter.

He coughed. "Roy!"

"Sorry." I loosened my arms just a bit. Only enough so he could breathe properly.

Edward sighed. "It's not you," he said carefully. "It's me."

A mixture of anxiety and curiosity settled in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean?" I asked, my fingers hardening against his back.

He inhaled deeply, allowing the breath to linger in his throat for a moment before setting it free. "Roy, I... I had an affair."

My heart skipped a beat.

Unable to fathom the words that had escaped his lips, I murmured, "You… what?"

His eyes fell as he turned, facing downward, unable to meet my piercing gaze. "Roy, I'm so sorry..."

I released him and stood up off the bed.

"Please, Roy! I can explain—"

"Explain, Edward? What is there to explain?" I growled. "You cheated on me, and worse, you lied to me. You've turned our love into a complete lie, Edward, a false charade."

"NO!" he cried, bisque hair swaying as he jerked towards me, "Please, Roy, just let me—"

"Let you what?" I interrupted, raising an eyebrow, "Hurt me again? Lie to me again?"

Tears formed at the rims of his amber orbs, "Roy... I love you..."

I turned, facing the doorway. "Apparently, not as much as you love somebody else."

With his mechanical arm, he grasped my sleeve, "It was a mistake. Please… listen to me, Roy," he begged.

Reluctantly, I gave in. I turned to face him. Brushing lemon-wafer strands from his pale-cream facial skin, I murmured, "Well go ahead, then. I'm listening."

Edward bit his lip. "Please just… don't judge me until you've heard me out. I know I did a terrible thing. Can't you see… the guilt alone…" I watched his eyes flash to the cuts on his arm and I instantly understood. "After what I'd done… I could barely look at you anymore. I felt like I had betrayed you. I still feel that way." He fidgeted nervously. "You deserve better than someone like me."

I sat down on the bed again. When Edward looked at me, I took his human hand and held it to my lips, kissing it tenderly. Edward had never been with anyone besides me. I realized that perhaps he had just wanted to test the waters, and be sure I was the only one for him. I didn't look at him as I asked, "So who was it with?"

Edward inhaled, and held it. After a long moment, he exhaled. "It was almost a week ago. I had taken everything I would need into the depths of a military building in Central."

I raised my eyebrows. "A government building?"

"I knew no one would find me there," he amended, "so it was the perfect place. I had it all mapped out in my head. It…" he paused then. "It was so much easier than I'd expected. On the floor, I'd lain out the ingredients, drawn the alchemical circles that would be necessary—"

"Alchemical…?" I frowned. "Edward, what does this have to do with the affair?"

Edward swallowed. "I'm getting to that," he mumbled.

"Go on."

"Everything was ready," Edward continued. "I kept telling myself that that night would be the one in which my brother would breathe again, eat again, sleep again, feel again… But I never could have guessed what would happen."

I knew Alphonse was a touchy subject for Edward. I pitied his childhood mistakes. He had lost his left leg in a miscalculation of human transmutation. But more importantly to Edward, his little brother Alphonse had lost his entire body. Edward sacrificed his right arm to retrieve Al's soul from beyond the gates.

I thought it was an amazingly selfless gesture when I first learned of it. The loss of his limbs was so hard for him to endure.

"… And when I clapped my hands, he was there."

I realized I'd been drifting into thought and losing track of what Edward was saying. My attention focused again.

"Alphonse was THERE," Edward whispered. "In flesh and blood. I was so relieved… so happy. All the years searching for answers… All the times we'd tried and failed. I was able to make up for what I'd done."

Something fell into place for me. I asked, "What happened?" because I knew something had. Something terrible must have gone wrong.

Edward didn't look at me. I sensed he couldn't. Even as he spoke, he sounded as if he was choking, trying to force out words he didn't want to say. Events he didn't want to admit to. "He was… different." He gasped for air in what I quickly realized was a sob. I couldn't stand not comforting him like this. I wrapped my arms around him once more, albeit not as tight this time.

"He… Alphonse wasn't Alphonse," Edward cried. "It was like the gates took… a part of him." He sobbed again. "The gates took the part of him that I loved. They took his innocence!"

"Edward…" I held his face in my hands, then, searching his eyes. Edward quickly looked away. Tears had streamed down his face completely. Then, at that moment, things started to make sense. This whole story he was telling me… His brother… "Oh, Edward… You didn't! Please tell me it wasn't Alphonse…"

Suddenly Edward was very quiet.

AN: R&R! Read and REVIEW, if you would be so kind! Tell us what you think! What will happen next chapter? How will Roy react to Edward's affair?