Thank you SO much for the amazing response to the first chapter!
You guys are amazing! The end. X
He was hard. He was sat on her sofa, waiting for her to put clothes on and he was fucking hard. He had been fine, he had been in shock and he had been fine. But shock wears off and as soon as the reality of what he had seen had hit him he nearly lost it.
He'd seen her fucking naked, literally, fucking whilst naked. He'd seen her having sex and he was torn between wanting to rip the guys head off and wanting to rip her clothes off. He hated himself, he couldn't stop the constant onslaught of thoughts. He wanted her, he hadn't even realised until that very moment, that moment where he'd seen her being intimate with somebody else.
Kathy had accused him and he'd been disgusted, but she was right, he just hadn't known. At that moment, struggling with the haze of alcohol and arousal he couldn't think of much else other than how much he wanted her, how he wanted to slide into her...slowly...
"Hey," she walked out of her bedroom in a tank top and pair of sweatpants. He missed the red silk robe. "Can I get you anything?" she asked, praying that she wasn't blushing. As soon as the shock had worn off she realised just how much Elliot must have seen. Her cheeks still felt as though they were on fire. She had gone into the bedroom and it had taken every ounce of strength that she had not to use her fingers to get herself off, just quickly, just to ease the ache... She felt as though she was a kid at Christmas, waiting for her present, the present she had been hoping for all year round, and then she got it and it was amazing...and then Elliot walked in and fucked it all up. She was torn between embarrassment, frustration and anger.
"Uh, water would be...I'm not gonna stay long..." just long enough for my dick to calm itself down.
"Elliot...tonight...this can't ever happen again," she told him softly.
"I'm sorry-" He couldn't look her in the eye.
"I know, and I know you didn't know but...that moment is going to haunt me for the rest of my life..." she wasn't smiling, she was mortified. He had seen her, in a way that she had never imagined...with another man.
"Me too, I never wanna walk through a closed door again-"
"Yeah, well I never wanna have sex again-"
"Really?" his eyes (and dick) shot up. He watched as a small smile appeared across her face and she rolled her eyes.
"No, not really." She sat across from him on the sofa unable to hide the blush that had crept across her cheeks. "Did you see everything?" she asked slowly, more than aware that her cheeks were reminiscent of a tomato.
"No, no I didn't-" he lied, shaking his dead.
"-Elliot-"
"-I saw everything." He brought his hands up to his head, not realising that her actions mirrored his. "I'm... I'm so sorry Liv, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I was...drunk and I...I wish I was more drunk cause this is...the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me...us," he corrected himself. He waited, she said nothing so he asked the question he'd wanted to ask from the moment he'd seen her. "Who...who was he?"
"Mark? Uh, he is a guy I've been dating for...we've met up a few times."
"You like him?" he asked, his heart sinking as he waited for the answer. Why did he care? He was sexually attracted to her, he had just seen her in a very compromising situation and it was completely normal for him to be aroused by that. It wasn't completely normal to have a physical pain in his chest as he thought of his partner liking someone else.
"Yeah, I...I mean he's nice..." She had no idea why they were doing this, they were supposed to be talking about him, not her and Mark. She liked Mark, of course she did but was she supposed to pretend she felt more for him than she did? To protect her own reputation? Elliot didn't do casual sex, he wouldn't understand.
"Good, good, he seems...nice."
The silence was almost painful.
"So-"
"What's-"
They both stopped and simply looked at each other. "Can we just...forget it ever happened?" she asked, hoping that her flushed cheeks weren't giving too much away. She was annoyed, of course she was, but there was a tiny part of her, the tiniest part possible that was slightly aroused. Knowing that he had seen her, knowing that he had witnessed her doing with someone else what she had dreamt of doing with him...
She didn't dream of him often, two or three years ago she was dreaming about him every night. Her heart had physically ached for him then. But after forcing herself to really think about what she was doing she had managed to pull herself out of her childish crush, the dreams had been less frequent since then. But now, as he sat across from her she couldn't help but wonder what he thought, what he was thinking about what he had seen. She closed her eyes for a moment, the aching between her legs becoming almost unbearable. Dammit she wanted him, she would be dreaming of him tonight instead of Mark. It didn't matter, there was nothing she could do, he didn't want her. He didn't see her in that way, she just knew. He'd never once looked at her with lust in his eyes, she was just his partner.
"Yeah, sure, I can forget if you can." Of course he couldn't forget. He would never, ever forget. He wouldn't let himself forget, ever. He had thought about it often, what she would look like naked and now he knew. He had barely had the chance to take it in, he'd looked away almost right away but he would never forget it. He hated himself for being such a...man. He had always prided himself on having a female partner and not being a prick about it.
When Kathy was around he hadn't had a reason to try. He knew how attractive Olivia was an he enjoyed the odd glance but that was it. As soon as Kathy had left him the first time it was as though the flood gates had opened. Her every look and touch became almost like a trigger to his arousal. He'd dreamt about her night after night, about what she would feel like, how she would sound as she came... Jesus, he'd thought that he'd managed to forget about those feelings but all he had done was hidden them, pushed them into the back of his mind. He wanted her. He wished that he could have believed that she would want him, that she would see him as anything other than her partner but he knew it would never happen. He sighed.
"You wanna tell me what's been going on?" she asked, sipping the wine that she had poured earlier. She knew that he was about to confess how much he loved and missed his wife, and that she'd have to sit there and encourage him to go back, to try one last time. She gave him an encouraging smile and silently thanked God for creating wine.
"I'm just trying to get my head together. Since...Kathy. I just don't know how to act like a single man. I miss my kids, I miss...my home. I don't know how to make the transition into single life knowing that I'm not going back." As he spoke she sipped her wine, frowning slightly. Of course he was going to go back. She looked up as he cleared his throat. "I'm thinking about dating and-" he stopped as she inhaled whilst drinking and began to cough.
"I'm..I'm sorry..." she caught her breath. "Dating?" She asked, trying not to appear to surprised.
"Yeah, I... I was asked out tonight at a bar...but she was about 12 so I decided to give it a miss." He teased, completely unaware of her discomfort. "But eventually, I'm going to want to date and...I have no idea how to do that-"
"So you've been...you've been angry and miserable because...you want to date someone?" she asked, silently chastising herself for not buying more wine.
"No," he laughed softly. "I just don't know how to do this long term and...you know I'm not good with adjusting to things but I am sorry," his smiled faded. "I am really sorry Liv, I don't know how you put up with me sometimes..." he really didn't. He'd often lay awake at night wondering if the next morning would be the one where he walked into the station to find her gone, again. He knew that he was being an asshole but he just couldn't help it. "I'm gonna try, and I'll talk to you," he promised, he knew that she liked it when he spoke to him, confided in her.
She didn't want him to talk to her. Not about this, not about dating. She wasn't ready. "Sure," she showed her best fake smile.
"Listen, I have to go. I should...let you sleep or...yeah." The sexual tension was like a cloud of smoke around them.
"You gonna be okay?" she asked, fully aware that he was still drunk. "You can stay on the sofa?"
"Uh, no I've intruded enough already..." he sighed, he wanted to stay. He wanted to talk to her some more, to try to make her understand that he really didn't mean to hurt her but he couldn't sit there and tell her these things knowing that in a weeks time when he was stressed, or angry he would do the same thing all over again. He was an asshole.
"Uh, okay..." she wanted to ask him to stay, to talk to her some more. She knew that no matter what he said there would be other instances where he would let temper get the better of him but she still wanted him to stay. She hated herself for wanting him to stay, she didn't want to talk to him, she didn't want to listen she wanted to kiss his lips, to feel him inside of her...less than an hour after she had had another man inside of her she was thinking of Elliot, craving Elliot. What was wrong with her?
"I'll see you soon," he gave her a soft smiled and walked towards the front door. He had to leave before he did something stupid, like touched her. He knew the second he touched her all bets would be off. He hated himself for wanting her so much, and he hated Mark for ruining what may have been the perfect opportunity to try. To try and be rejected but at least he'd know what it felt like, to kiss her, to feel her soft lips against his. Maybe she'd even kiss him back before she slapped him in the face? "Uh, Liv, I am really sorry about-"
"Don't mention it...really, please don't ever mention it again..." she forced a smile.
What a night.
They hadn't mentioned it. In fact they had barely spoken at all. After having time to think about what had happened, after the alcohol and shock had worn off the embarrassment set in. He could barely look at her without thinking about what he had seen, without thinking of her skin, her breasts, her toned stomach...Jesus. He had thought about her in the shower after he had left her house, as he'd gripped his hard cock and slowly brought himself to a climax...he'd even called out her name. Now, he could barely keep his dick in check when she was around. God forbid she bent over or showed any cleavage.
The dreams were back. The dreams that she had finally managed to get rid of, the dreams that haunted her every night for nearly two years were back. She wanted him, she'd wake up in the middle of the night desperate to have someone beside her, anyone just so that she could fuck it out. Plastic simply didn't do the job.
"Hey."
They both looked up and froze as Mark walked into the precinct. "Uh, I'm early, I'm sorry but I thought I could just come and pick you up-"
"Uh," she stood up almost immediately. "I'm sorry, I'm not ready uh, I lost track of the time. I'll go and get ready now, do you want to wait outside?" She asked, praying for the answer to be yes.
"No, it's okay I'll wait here. Take your time." He gave her a soft smile. Shit, he was perfect. He was perfect and she didn't want him. She returned the smile and walked away, leaving Elliot, Mark and Munch alone in the squad room. She only hoped that Mark was clever enough not to try and talk to Elliot.
"It's uh, good to see you again," Mark started nervously.
"You two have met?" Munch asked, unable to ignore the fact that Elliot looked as though he was about to blow a fuse.
"Uh, yeah you could say that. No hard feelings though...right buddy?"
"Right," Elliot spoke through gritted teeth. This guy wasn't right for her, there was no way he was good enough for her. He should have felt bad, should have felt guilty that he'd broken the brothers code of well and truly cock blocking but he didn't give a shit. Who the hell did this guy think he was?
"Maybe, knock tonight?" Mark laughed nervously; trying to have a conversation with Olivia's partner was like pulling teeth. The least the guy could do was be polite. He wasn't asking for an apology, though he damn well deserved one.
"Oh?" Munch raised his eyebrows as far as they could go. This date was getting more and more interesting by the second. "Saw something you shouldn't have Stabler?" the older man teased.
"Shut up Munch." Elliot didn't even bother to look at him. Munch glanced at Mark who looked as though he was ready to jump ship. Elliot was a miserable son of a bitch, throwing his toys out of the pram because his partner had a date.
"More like saw everything he shouldn't have."
Elliot looked up, Jesus, the douche had a death wish. Munch grinned from ear to ear. "Stabler, did you walk in on your partner in the act?"
"Shut. Up." Elliot was proud of just how well he was handling his anger. The bastard who was going to fuck his partner was just stood there, stood there waiting to fuck her again.
"You know, the whole dark and brooding thing...you've got it down, and I'm sure the ladies love it but me? Not so much-" before Munch could finish Elliot was up and heading towards the locker room.
"Uh, is he always this charming?" Mark asked, only slightly deterred by his dates miserable partner.
"Oh, yeah, pretty much. You're lucky he didn't hit one of us, that's his speciality, he hits things..."
"What did I do?" Mark asked wondering why the other man had taken offense.
"It's not you, trust me, it's not you."
After knocking Elliot walked into the locker room to find Olivia struggling to zip up the zip on the back her dress.
"Now you learn the art of knocking," she teased, sighing as she failed to reach the zip.
"Oh, yeah, that. I've been practising at home, I'm practically an expert," he smiled, moving slowly until he was behind her. He watched as her chest rose quickly as soon as he touched her. He could have sworn that she had just shivered. He ran his finger along her bare arm, this time there was no mistaking the shudder. He moved his hands to her zipper and pulled it up almost torturously slowly.
"Elliot..." she couldn't think straight. She wasn't supposed to feel weak at the knees; she was too old for that. She turned to face him, raising her head just an inch so that she didn't have to look him directly in the eye.
"Don't go out with him." There wasn't an ounce of uncertainty in his voice. It wasn't a request, more like a statement.
"Why?" She hadn't meant to sound so out of her depth. Her voice barely managed the one syllable. He was too close, he was never this close. She took a step back and found her back pressed against the locker.
"Because he's not right for you-"
"He's a nice guy-" why was she justifying her date to him? There had been a time where she would have laughed in his face if he had tried to dissuade her from a date. Now, however, she felt as though she had to come up with at least one damn good reason as to why she was going out with Mark.
"Nice? That what you want?" He was playing with fire, not quite sure when he had become so brave. Maybe as Mark stood downstairs in his crappy suit with a grin on his face, feeling like he was the luckiest bastard in the world. He took a step forward, closing in on her and watched as she swallowed the lump that was in her throat. "You want nice and reliable?"
"I...What are you doing?" she asked as he reached for her hand and pressed it against his chest, exactly where his heart was. "El..."
"Can you feel that?" he asked, his heart was racing. The thought of her with anyone else had done that to him. "Can you?" he asked as she closed her eyes and simply allowed herself to feel his heart beating against his chest.
"Yes," she barely whispered. She took a deep breath as Elliot place his free hand over her chest, her heart was beating so hard she was sure that he could hear it. "What is this Elliot?" she asked, snapping out of her daze. "You...you're jealous?"
"He's not right for you,"
"How do you know that? You don't know anything about him-"
"I know that you're settling, you think I don't know you well enough by now?"
"So what if I am, this has nothing to do with you-"
"I'm asking you, please don't go out with him," he was pleading, Elliot Stabler was pleading. He watched as she processed what he was saying.
"What do you want from me?" She was trying to stand firm, to stand her ground and ask him who the hell he thought he was but she was failing miserably. She could barely speak.
"I don't know..." he brought his hand up to her face, cupping her cheek softly. He didn't know. He had been asking himself the same question since that night and he couldn't tell her. He wanted her, that much he knew. He just hadn't figured out the finer details yet. "I thought I could fight this-"
"Elliot..." she closed her eyes. She wanted to tell him to back off, to remind him that they were still partners and she had a date waiting downstairs but she'd lost the will to speak.
"I can't keep watching these assholes take you out. Thinking about you being with them...it kills me," he admitted. Seeing her with Mark had brought all of the feelings he had secretly harboured to the surface and he knew that unless he was completely honest he would never be able to get past it. There was every chance that she was going to knee him in the balls and tell Cragen but he was ready to take the risk. He brought his lips towards hers, slowly. She didn't move. His racing heart began to go onto overdrive as she lifted her lips towards his. Jesus, it was finally happening.
"Hey, you two, prince Charming is waiting downstairs!" Munch knocked on the door abruptly.
Olivia nearly jumped out of her skin as the realisation of what she was about to do hit her, hard. She was about to let her partner kiss her. Her partner. Elliot. "Jesus."
"Don't!" He held his hands up as she tried to walk past him. "Don't talk yourself out of this."
"Elliot, do you have any idea what just nearly happened?" she asked, bringing her hand to her mouth, trying to convince herself that she wasn't desperate to feel his lips over her own. "This...is crazy. You don't get to tell me who I can and can't date-"
"Please-" he started, watching as she managed to push herself past him and walk towards the door. "Don't do this-" he stopped as she quickly pulled open the door and let it slam behind her.
He had been stood outside her apartment for twenty minutes. He knew that she was in. He could hear the music playing on the other side of the door. It had taken exactly 19 minutes for him to summon up the courage to knock. Knocking, he had decided, was a very good idea. He looked up as he heard the click of the door and there she was.
"El, it's late-"
"I'm sorry, I uh, I know I'm probably interrupting something...I...Mark is gonna hate me but I just...I don't want you to hate me," he had thought about what he was going to say. He hadn't intended to sound quite so weak as he'd said it. "That's all I wanted to say, don't hate me." He turned to walk away and stopped as he heard...
"Come in."
"I don't think mark would-"
"I'm on my own."
"Apparently Mark didn't find the idea of a three way relationship that appealing." she admitted as the both sat on the sofa. "As soon as we got in to the car he asked if he could drop me home."
"I'm sorry-" he lied.
"No you're not," she sighed. As she'd sat alone she had thought about what she wanted from Elliot and it was everything she couldn't have. Elliot would never love her, he may want to sleep with her but there was no way that he could ever match her feelings. She couldn't even fathom the thought of him seeing her as anything more than a friend. She had already gone through this years ago and she hated that she was back to convincing herself again.
"He was a nice guy-" he stopped, realising his choice of words. "Nice."
"Elliot, I don't know what this is. If you're jealous, or you're having some sort of mid life crsis and you're scared that you're going to end up on your own or you want us both to be lonely cat people when we're older but it's not fair. We both know that you don't have feelings or me, you're like my brother and I-" his lips silenced hers.
As soon as his lips touched hers she was lost. Her brain was screaming for her to hit him, or push him away or anything but her body refused. As he softly pressed the palms of his hands against her cheeks and pulled her closer she fought the urge to pinch herself. His tongue forced itself into her mouth and she nearly lost it there and then. His lips were softer than she imagined, his kiss more forceful, there was nothing "nice" about his kiss. Nice simply wouldn't do it justice.
Every inch of her body was tingling as he brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her even closer to him. She felt as though she was about to come there and then. She had never, ever had a kiss like this.
She had imagined this moment so many times but if she'd known how amazing it was, how good it felt to kiss him, she would have done it long ago. Just as she realised that she too could be an active participant in the kiss he pulled away leaving her in complete shock. She immediately missed the feel of his lips against hers.
"Now tell me that I don't feel anything for you."
I would love to hear what you think, would you like to know what happens next?