Mailey's POV #11
I stand in a clearing of bushes waiting to see the hovercraft. I'm worried that that is Deanie's canon. I'm worried that I will have to fight the Capitol on my own. I'm worried about everyone. Nobody wishes someone dead, at least not me anyways. I see the hovercraft high up in the air over near the cornucopia and cringe. People were killed there, helpless people. Not only were people's physical bodies killed but so were people's humanity. Bear lost his humanity at the beginning of the games and gained it when he died. He gained his while I lost mine. I killed my best friend so I'm just as bad as the Capitol. I'm just as bad as the peacekeepers that burned down that house in District 2. No one is good anymore and there is nothing I can do about it.
A tear rushes down my cheek as I think of both Bear and Cleasy. I can't dwell on it anymore. All I can do is try to make up for it and stop anyone from enduring this pain any longer. Two more cannons go off one after the other and I cringe again. I hate to say it, but I will find out if Deanie is dead once I go back to the tree in a half hour. I turn around and place my machete in my belt and pull out the spile. I place the one end of it to the tree and grab the butt of my knife and smash it against the spile. The tube goes straight in and in a second a stream of warm fresh water comes out.
My mouth instantly goes to the tap and devour the water grudgingly. Although I hadn't been in this arena long, the sun beaming down on me had made me so much more thirsty. I let the water fall on my head, over my ponytail and feel my body cooling off. I slowly pull my head from the tap and take the flask out of my bag and fill it up. I should of gotten Deanie's flask, but I'll fill it up for her later. As I twist the cap on the flask I realize that my hands are shaking. I look closer at my finger nails and see dried blood. I screech as I drop the flask on the ground and rub fast at my nails. I feel tears on my face and can't hold them back anymore. The blood doesn't come out of my nails. I drop on my knees and lean my shoulders and head against the tree.
"Bear." I mumble holding my hands close to my chest. "I'm sorry." I wrap my arms around me and try to squeeze the tears out. I hear a rustle come from the bushes and stand up with my machete in my hand. I stand in front a tall blonde girl. She has a dead squirrel by the tail. I can ask her to join me and Deanie. She gives me a quick smile, drops the squirrel and runs towards me. My mouth opens and nothing comes out. My machete pushes forward automatically and she falls to the ground with the machete in her throat. My hands clamp over my mouth. I just killed a second person. I lied to myself. I'm just like everyone else. I'm killing to save myself. I pull the machete from her neck and see her blood over lap Bear's dried blood. The machete feels uncomfortable in my hand so I place it in my belt. The cannon rings in my ear and I grab the squirrel, spile, flask, and bag and run towards the volcano.
I throw my stuff on the ground and shrivel up beside the tree. My head fits in my knees and I begin to cry uncontrollably. I see Bear's blue eyes as I close my eyes and I scream. My body rocks back and forth. Bear said he would keep me safe but he wasn't keeping himself safe. He didn't keep himself safe from me. The one person he trusted, killed him.
I hear trees to my left rustle and I don't bother moving. I don't deserve to live. I'm not going to kill someone to save me. My head stays rested on my knees as I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I look up to see Deanie looking down at me. Her green worried eyes bore into mine. She exhales deeply and looks away from me. I expect her to walk away and leave me alone but instead she drops her trident and bag and sits beside me on the ground and embraces me in a hug. I don't refuse her hug I just grab her back and hold her with me. She pats my head as I whimper and tears stream down my face.
"Its alright Mailey." I close my eyes. "I agree with you, we don't have to be controlled by them." She lifts up my head. "We will protect each other." I nod at her and stand up quickly. I grab my squirrel and Deaine's monkey.
"No ponds?" I ask trying to act normal, but can't stop shaking. She shakes her head then stands up to peel off her jacket. The grey shirt she wears underneath is soaked in sweat.
"I'll get some dry sticks." She turns on her heals and walks to the tree line. I take the squirrel and begin to skin it with my knife. She comes back with less than an armful of sticks and places them on the ground. She then gently piles them together and strikes a match to them.
Deanie aggressively stomps the fire out as I take my last bite of the squirrel. The sun has nearly set and it will be completely dark in a few minutes. She looks down at me with a smile that looks strange on her.
"Its as if you haven't eaten in years." She sends me a joke and I give her a weak smile. She ate the whole monkey while I ate the whole squirrel. "Its getting dark so we should set up a place to sleep." She walks past the log and over at the volcano. I watch her disappear between the forks of the rock and a few seconds later she pops her head out. "I think this is a good place." I walk over and see where she is pointing.
"Sounds good." I give her a smile. A cannon goes of in the distance and I try to ignore it.
"I'll take first watch and then I will sleep." I shake my head. I don't feel like sleeping just yet.
"No, you've been working hard. Just relax." She nods in agreement after giving me a worrid look.
"Alright, but only for a bit." I nod at her and hold my machete in my hand. She crawls in the crevice with her coat off. "If you get cold, use my coat." She says. I nod then she lowers herself in between the rock with her trident in her hand. Her feet hang out a little bit, but thats all you see of her.
Another cannon goes off as I sit down beside Deanie's feet. I keep my machete laid across my knees ready for any intruders. Although I'm not going to kill them, so I hope no one will come. I look down at my machete and see the dried blood. I look away almost instantly. I should get Deanie some water I think. I stand up and grab the spile from my bag and pluck Deanie's flask from the ground. My feet make very little sound as I wonder over to a trees. I stay in eye distance of Deanie. I smash the spile into the tree with the butt of my machete with ease and a stream of water flows. As the water flows to the ground I grab my machete and begin to clean it. Surprisingly the blood washes off faster than it did from my fingers. After about a minute of washing I place the machete in my belt and pull out the flask. Before I am half way filling up the flask, its completely dark. I close the flask once its filled to the top and walk towards Deanie.
The Capitol's anthem begins to play and I look up at the night sky. The sign of the Capitol appears and then the words 'The Fallen'. I don't see the girl or boy from district 1, I see the small boy from 2. The tall blonde girl that I killed today was from three. I look down at my feet then look back up at the tributes. Bear's eyes look back at me and tears fill my eyes yet again today. His face disappears and I watch as the nameless tributes go by. Most of them small children. Then Fyodors' face is brought on the screen. I think about his hate towards me near the end. He probably was never like that until these games. He was probably just like Bear. Sweet, kind, loving, and smart. The games, the Capitol, and President Snow changes people for the worse. I think this time it has to change for the Capitol.
I walk over to Deanie and plant my butt on the ground beside her and look into the trees. I look down at her feet. I look at the trident that is peaking out of the crevice with her feet. She is holding the handle while she sleeps. Its like she's always had to watch and be alert even while she was sleeping. Even before these games. I hope I can gain her trust enough that she will follow through with not killing anyone. There are 6 people left, not many people to search to kill but more likely to bump into. I'm willing to fight the capitol as long as she is by my side. I'm willing to start a team.