Start Chapter 12

***

"I'm sorry but only five of the team survived," Ancient told John and Teyla.

John barely restrained from slamming his fist down. "At least some of them survived," Teyla said when she saw that John appeared quite angry at the loss of the soldiers and scientists.

"Three Teyla, three good men and women died on that ship that I sent them to," John said as he angrily paced around the room.

"John it is not your fault you could not have known about the creature."

"No I could have asked what the yellow meant and then I never would have told them about the ship and the team wouldn't have gotten massacred by that thing."

"Colonel Sheppard the ship has been destroyed and the survivors are heading towards the carrier."

"Take us home then," he said leaving the bridge.

"Go, he may need someone to talk to," Ancient told Teyla as she watched the doorway John had just disappeared through.

"I believe he will want to be alone now," Teyla said still staring out the door still.

"Trust me he wants to talk to you."

"I do not think so, apart from here on the ship we have not spoken much since I told him I was pregnant." She said turning and facing Ancient.

"Really? He speaks very highly of you and often said you two were quite close."

"Are you sure?" She asked surprised to learn that John didn't seem to be so angry it was much more in line with how he was now acting.

"Yes quite sure he has problems with his emotions something you are aware of."

She bowed her head in quiet submission, "I will speak with him," her voice barely above a whisper. She turned and left the room and making her way to where she thought John was.

***

"John what are you doing?" Teyla asked as she entered the dim room with the only illumination coming from the laptop John was working on.

"Letters," he said quietly hovering over the computer typing.

"I am sorry I interrupted," she said slowly retreating towards the door.

"No stay I don't mind," he said without looking at her as his hands dropped to his sides.

"John it is not your fault you could not have known."

"I told them to go get that ship I didn't ask what the colors meant," he said as he turned around to face Teyla.

"No one did that when the sensor array was found."

"But there was no one to ask when I activated that I could have asked the old man."

"John how could you have known? There was nothing to indicate the ancients ever transported anything like that on the ship."

"That doesn't change the fact that those people are dead and I sent them to that ship for no reason but I wanted to prove that this ship is worth it."

"This ship is worth it John we know so very little about it we just learned that it knew you when you came to Athos it knew you were there."

"But it won't tell us who even made him."

"He may tell us one day."

"But will it be worth those lives three dead."

"John do not blame yourself," She paused for a moment unsure if she should continue down her course, "come with me you can write the letters later."

He looked up at her his eyes desolate, "Where?"

"I have something I wish to show you," she said leaving the room with John in tow.

***

"This is what I wanted to show you," She said as they entered an observation room with a large glass dome overhead and transparent walls. She walked towards the window, "It's beautiful isn't it?"

His gaze wandered down from the thousands of stars down to her, "Yes the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

She turned around, "When I was a child and I looked to the stars I was afraid, the sky was where the Wraith came from but now I see the beauty my father talked about when he would stare at them." She walked towards him their eyes met and held each other in an intense gaze, "That is because of you John you and your people have brought hope to this galaxy you come from far away on a world that has never known the Wraith and yet you fight and die for strangers, people who would turn their weapons on you when they meet you. Yet despite the hostility you encounter you fight on in order to free them from the Wraith why?" she said as she stopped in front of him, "because you feel it is the right thing to do and everyone on Atlantis feels the same way," She walked passed him, "otherwise I would not have stayed with you this long."

He turned around and faced her, "That doesn't change the fact that they died."

"No it doesn't but they understood what they were in for and they went on they didn't have to go to Atlantis but they knew the risks and felt it was worth it."

"I sent them to that ship," he said turning back to the stars.

"You did not know," she said walking beside him again, "Which one is Earth."

"I don't know, you know I can't believe you haven't been there yet."

"One day perhaps," she said as she headed towards the door leaving him alone with his thoughts again.

"Teyla…Thanks," he said turning to look at her before she left the room.

She smiled at him, "Your welcome John."

***

"Do you really believe that?" Ancient asked Teyla when she returned to the bridge.

"Yes they have conducted themselves honorably in my experience with one or two temporary lapses in judgment."

"And you do not think they fight the Wraith for their own selfish reasons?"

"They have their own reasons and their actions are not entirely selfless but they returned to this galaxy even though they did not have to."

"Yes I saw that they were forced from Atlantis for some time it was difficult on them Sheppard especially."

"Are you sure? From what I understand Doctor Weir took it the hardest."

"Perhaps on the outside. Sheppard, as they all were I'm sure, was very distraught at the thought of leaving you to behind to fight the Wraith by yourself."

"Well Ronon and I did not fight the Wraith while the Ancients were in control of Atlantis."

"You must have been happy to see him again?"

"I thought I never would have seen them again of course I was happy."

"Sheppard was especially overjoyed at seeing you were safe and willing to remain with him."

"Really?"

"Yes he missed you when he was on Earth did he not tell you?" Ancient said feigning ignorance.

"Well yes but not to the extent that you claim," she said calmly.

"Why did you take him to the observation room?" He asked as a few numbers quickly scrolled across him.

"I thought he might enjoy the view and I hoped he would understand that we are fighting for all those stars."

"Most of those stars do not actually have gates."

She smiled, "True." The door opened allowing John admittance into the room. Upon entering he gave them a weak smile before moving over to the chair and sitting down.

"Is there something you would like Colonel?" Ancient asked as he activated another hologram next to the chair.

"Take us back to Atlantis but otherwise no just want to get some sleep."

"Very well Colonel Sheppard although I thought you were going to be sleeping in the bed tonight I had hoped to run some simulations."

"Does being in the chair prevent you from doing that?"

"It would wake you so yes."

"What about the observation lounge?"

"You would not be able to sleep there it will be very loud," He said already knowing how the conversation would end having run the simulation several dozen times.

"Would it be ok Teyla? I'm sorry but I don't see any other choice," he said staring at Ancient.

"It will not be a problem John."

"Thank you," he said heading towards the comfortable bed and blissful sleep that he had so looked forward to during his first few weeks on the ship.

"What kind of simulations are you going to be running?" Teyla asked as she sat down in the chair.

"General diagnostics," he replied casually.

"That could not have waited until morning?"

Ancient dropped his smile and took on a more serious tone, "He needs the rest he won't get it in that chair or anywhere else on this ship for that matter I really hope you do not mind."

She thought for a moment it wasn't uncommon for her people to share a bed during difficult times and she had done so after her father had been taken. "I do not, however I think he is very uncomfortable with the idea."

"Yes he is but he needs to sleep and he will despite his discomfort at sleeping in the same bed as you."

"It is not common among them to share their beds with another who they are not intimate with," she said getting up from the chair and wandering around the room.

"Would you like me to activate the cameras in the room?" he said bringing them up without waiting for her response.

"What no I should not," she started before looking at the screen, "What the-- turn it OFF now." Ancient jumped back in surprise at her angry response.

"Why?" he asked as the video continued to stream in.

"This is not right I should not spy on him like this," She glared at the blue figure as the numbers momentarily paused.

"He watched you through these same cameras he told you did he not?"

"Not while I was naked I imagine that he would be quite upset if he discovered that I was watching him like this."

"You may be correct, I will reactivate the cameras when he is done."

"Thank you," Teyla said looking at the screens before they died.

"He is finished should I activate them again?" he asked and she nodded in response when the feed filled the screen again she saw him staring out the window. "This is more acceptable I assume?"

"Yes although I probably should not be doing this," she as he turned toward the camera smiled and shook his head. "Does it have sound it looked like he said something?"

"It does but I do not think that you should be listening in on him," he said as John slipped into the bed and closed his eyes.

"Why?"

"He may begin talking in his sleep and if he does he may not want you to hear what he is saying."

"Does he talk in his sleep?" She said concentrating on his mouth to see if it was moving at all.

"Sometimes, he may say something he doesn't want you to hear."

She nodded accepting his answer for the time being, "Why didn't you tell John about what the yellow meant?"

"I thought he knew and that he was sending a team to destroy the ship," he said regret written across his face.

"What was that thing doing on the ship?"

"I do not really know the Ancients may have been doing my research on ascension or perhaps they wanted to try and use it as a weapon by that time my part in the war was pretty much over that fleet was one of the last attacks before the siege of Atlantis."

"What happened to the fleet?"

"The Wraith attacked it perhaps that creature did help the Ancient ship although it appears to have turned on its masters."

"Why did they attack empty space there was nothing there for the wraith?"

"Now there isn't," he said turning away from her. The numbers slowly but continually slid across his figure.

"I don't understand…"

"The Wraith were starving for food they needed to keep fighting but all of their food sources were depleted so when they attacked a world the cullings were very violent they would take out entire worlds populations. In order to prevent the Wraith from doing so the Ancients would have attempted to relocate the people and used their fleet to buy the time. When they finished relocating the people they would take out the system in order to deny the Wraith the territory," he explained continuing to stare out the main window.

"Taken out?"

"Cause the local star or stars to go supernova and wipe out all life and planets in the system."

"That seems rather drastic."

"It was but that policy was implemented only at the very end of the war I think three star systems were destroyed due to that policy."

"Why was Atlantis not destroyed?"

"I'm sorry but that is classified."

"Haven't heard you say that in awhile."

"You can access the sensors now if you would like," he said turning back towards her.

"Can I listen into what John is saying?"

"No he would not want that," Ancient looked annoyed at having to continually repeat himself.

"Yet you allow me to watch him undress," she said a small hint of her previous anger finding its way into her voice but mixing with a little playfulness.

"I did not think he would mind that," he said causing Teyla to eye him suspiciously for a few minutes.

"I think I will retire now," she said still eying him.

"Goodnight Teyla."

***
"I must go Teyla is approaching," Ancient said to the seemingly asleep Colonel on the bed.

"Why?"

"She did not know I was talking to you and I do not want her to know," he said disappearing.

"Wait why didn't you tell her we were talking?"

"I have my own reasons and does this mean you are more open to using the mental link?"

"No," Sheppard said curtly as he shut down the link and attempted to go to sleep.

***

The door slid open and she quietly made her way to the bed, "Turn off the lights please," she whispered. He complied a moment later turning the already dimmed lights completely off leaving only the light of the stars to illuminate there room.

End Chapter 12