..for the life of me, I cannot believe, we'd ever die, for these sins...

The rest of the semester was a blur. Castiel hung out with Brandon and Sarah regularly, and also Charlie. Sometimes all of them would get together, but more often it was Charlie and Castiel. They would geek out constantly, rewatching old episodes of Star Trek and Stargate. Charlie loved to sing and dance too, and they were often blasting her stereo and goofing off in her room. She even organized a flash mob one day during lunch, set to "Walking on Sunshine." Sometimes Laurie was also around when Castiel and Charlie were hanging out, but he always felt like a third wheel.

Castiel hadn't told Charlie about Dean but he had been tempted to a few times. He still thought about him often but his friends distracted him enough that he felt ok most of the time. Late at night, he sometimes looked back at those old texts. That last text from Dean always made him wistful. "miss u. angle."

His heavy courseload also kept him busy, and he was often studying at the library until closing time. Then he would move on to the late night on-campus coffee shop to finish up. He was getting an average of 4 hours of sleep a night, and lived on black coffee. Before he knew it, finals were here. Castiel was exhausted after he turned in his last paper, and very much looking forward to relaxing during break.

And then he was back home and everything seemed different. He had been getting used to living in the dorm and seeing friends at all hours. The first weekend at home he slept late and spent the rest of the day reading or watching TV. It was kind of boring.

Late Sunday afternoon of that weekend, when the sky was already darkening to dusk, Castiel was reading on his bed when he saw movement through his window. Looking across the way, he saw that Dean was back from school.

Castiel's heart sped up a little. His mouth felt dry as he watched Dean moving around his room. Suddenly Dean looked up through the window. He paused, and as Castiel watched, he moved up to the window, cranking it open to the cold winter air. Dean waved one hand out and looked at Castiel through the window.

Castiel quickly got up from the bed, tossing his book aside. He opened his window and gave Dean a tentative smile.

"Hey dude. How's it going?" Dean said easily. His hair was a little longer, Castiel noticed, but otherwise he looked the same. Beautiful.

"Hi Dean. I'm good. How was your semester?"

"Pretty awesome." Dean admitted. "College chicks, man. Pretty awesome."

Castiel felt his heart drop, but kept his smile on and nodded.

"How 'bout you?" Dean asked. "Got any action going on?"

Castiel shook his head.

"Too busy studying, I bet." Dean laughed. He smiled at Castiel.

Castiel agreed. "Yup, that's me."

"You haven't changed, man. That's what I like about you." Dean said. Castiel figured it was a compliment.

"So what are you up to during break?" Dean asked.

"Not much. Just hanging out at home." Castiel admitted.

"Me neither. We have to go to my grandparents' for Christmas, but that's just a few days. Otherwise I"ll be around."

Castiel was happy that Dean would be nearby, and that they were talking again. If they were just friends, that was better than feeling like he didn't exist on Dean's planet.

"That's great." Castiel said simply.

"Well, see you around, Cas. Sammy wanted to go out for burgers, so we're leaving now."

"Have fun. I'll see you later." Castiel waved. He watched Dean pull his head back in the window and crank it shut. Dean left the room, and Castiel was still staring out the window. He shivered from the cold and shut the window.

...

Castiel saw Dean a few times before Christmas, just around town or across the way through his windows. Dean spent a lot of time with Sam, catching up with his brother after his semester away. Castiel often saw them leaving or coming back with the Impala. One time they unloaded a Christmas tree from the top of the car. It seemed so domestic, and Castiel smiled at the thought of Dean and his brother decorating it together.

Dean hadn't spoken to Castiel through the window again since the afternoon that Dean had arrived home, but Castiel felt hopeful. They were both busy with their families on Christmas. A couple of days after Christmas, Dean was back in town. When he got up to his room, he went over to his window and cranked it open.

"Cas." Dean called.

"Hey Dean." Castiel opened his window too. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Cas. Did you have a good one?"

"Yes. How was yours?"

"Great. I ate too much though." Dean patted his stomach. "I seemed to have avoided the freshman 15, but I can never resist my grandmother's pies."

Dean looked over at Castiel. He pulled a cigarette out and lit it. After a deep inhale, he blew the smoke out slowly. Even though Castiel didn't like it when people smoked, when he saw Dean purse his lips around the cigarette, it was difficult to look away.

"Are you busy on New Year's?" Dean asked casually. Castiel started, did I hear Dean correctly? Even if he did, he wanted to hear Dean say it again.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Castiel inquired innocently.

"Whatcha you up to on New Year's Eve?" Dean repeated patiently. He tapped his cigarette on the sill and took another drag.

"Um, uh, nothing. I'll be at home." Castiel responded lamely.

Dean blew out the smoke he was holding in his mouth. He held the stub between his index and middle fingers.

Looking at the cigarette instead of Castiel, Dean said, "You should come over. I have no plans- the house will be empty. Sammy's got a new girlfriend that he's going to see the fireworks with. My parents have a fancy party to go to. I'm gonna be lonely." He said the last part jokingly, but Castiel gulped.

"Sure. I'll come over on New Year's. Sounds fun." Castiel managed to reply in what he hoped was a normal tone.

"Awesome. You can even sleep over if you want." Dean winked. Castiel blushed furiously. Dean laughed and waved. He closed his window and left the room. Castiel stood there, the cold air keeping him grounded. He was feeling overheated. Images from prom night flashed through his mind, always readily accessible. He was not turning down an opportunity like that.

On the other hand, he didn't want to be used. He'd have to talk to Dean before they did anything, although that was assuming that was Dean's intent. Dean had been shamelessly flirting though, so Castiel was pretty certain he knew what would happen on New Year's. He felt a wave of desire in anticipation of the evening. It was only a few days away, but it seemed like an eternity.