Chapter 11:

Panic

"She had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, like when you're swimming and you want to put your feet down on something solid, but the water's deeper than you think and there's nothing there."
― Julia Gregson, East of the Sun

Ryura walked through the forest, expertly moving over fallen logs or other things that might trip a person up. The only sounds which greeted his ears were those of the wildlife and Kagome's soft breathing. What was he going to do? He had taken Touga's words to heart, but his advice had left him nothing except confusion. Was he to abandon her, and not even form a friendship with her if he felt he couldn't love her? Or was he supposed to attempt to love her, just so he could remain as her friend, or at least an ally?

As he moved, his mind wandered even further and he thought on the pack Kagome traveled with. If Touga's warning and advice meant what he thought it did, then that would mean no male would ever be allowed to travel with Kagome if they couldn't romantically become involved with her. No, that couldn't be what his advice meant. Miroku traveled with the Miko, and Sesshoumaru seemed to hold a respect for her he would normally never grant a human. He didn't include Inuyasha, since the hanyou had already hurt her in the past.

If he had a free hand, Ryura would've face-palmed.

Friendship, love, family. There wasn't just one form of caring for a person; the ways to love a person were endless. In the short amount of time he knew them, Ryura could tell Sango loved Kagome as if they had been born sisters. The Kitsune was another example of this different types of love. Kagome was not his real mother, but he looked at her like one. She was his world, and without it Ryura was sure that world would fall apart, just as his own had.

Touga wanted Ryura to love Kagome as a friend; a companion. He wanted her heart to have a soft place to land when the world became too much, and he didn't want her to be betrayed by someone she cared for. Kagome's heart was vast and she never closed it off. Each person she grew close to she loved in various ways. Sango as a sister, Shippou as a son, Miroku as a wayward and perverted brother – as wrong as that felt to think. She loved and trusted Sesshoumaru as a confidant, Rin as perhaps a daughter. Inuyasha, however, was the one who held the largest portion of her heart reserved for the one she wanted to be with. To marry and have children with. Perhaps even form a Soul Bond with, since Inuyasha was half youkai.

Ryura realized that Touga had simply wanted to warn him should he come to be one of those Kagome held close to her heart, in whichever way, that he should take care not to abuse her trust. He was to care for her as if she was his family. To support her when she needed it, and he knew Kagome would do the same for him. She already had, pleading for his life when she thought his soul was about to be obliterated.

He smiled faintly and went back to focusing on where he was going. He couldn't help but wonder though what exactly Inuyasha had done to upset Touga. Choosing to be with another, even if they were made from clay – Ryura shuddered at the thought – shouldn't be that big of a sin. It happened everyday and to damn Inuyasha for it would be hypocritical when Touga himself had done the exact same thing to Lady Inukimi, when he had taken Izayoi for a wife and sired Inuyasha.

Perhaps, he thought, one day someone would enlighten him and finally he would be able to put his curiosity over the situation to rest. Until then, however, he would only observe the hanyou carefully and see if he could figure it out on his own if no one felt like telling him. Ryura wasn't usually one to pry into the private lives of others, considering he had no idea what to do himself if he had a relationship, but he couldn't help but be curious.

In his arms Kagome began to twitch and he glanced down at her while stepping over a good sized rock. Her cheeks were flushed but she didn't seem to have a fever. He leaned down slightly and sniffed, then pulled back and muttered incoherently. Her illness seemed to be quickly vanishing, leaving Ryura at a loss. What was wrong? People didn't normally twitch as much as she was, nor did their face flush for no reason.

He noticed the bits of blood on her lips and instantly came to a halt. Ryura's feet felt like they were trapped in stone. He couldn't move them. His arms felt weak and he was forced to lower himself into a kneeling position to carefully lay Kagome down before he dropped her. What had he done?

Kagome twitching became more sporadic. Her head jerked to the side quickly and her legs began to shake. If she was coherent, she'd be able to tell Ryura that what he was seeing was called a seizure in her era, but since she wasn't, Ryura began to freak out. Looking down to his hands he saw blood that was quickly drying covering his claws and finger tips. He remembered trying to get Kagome to stop chewing on her lip, but she must have done it again when he wasn't looking. It was the only way she would have been able to ingest his blood.

Youkai blood, Dragon Youkai blood to be more specific, wasn't mean for human consumption – hell it wasn't even meant for youkai consumption! It was poisonous and so far no remedy for it had been found. It was up to Kagome now, and her reiki, to decide if she lived or not.

Dear Kami above, Touga was going to kill him.

Ryura pushed against her with his youki in an attempt to get her reiki to come to life. It quickly responded with an angry crackle along her skin. When Ryura was satisfied he reigned in his youki. Now all he could do was watch and wait.

Kagome began to thrash violently, forcing Ryura to pin her down by her arms. When her lower body started making up the lack of thrashing from her upper body, Ryura was actually forced into the embarrassing position of hovering over her and pinning her legs with his and her arms with his hands. His bare hands were smoking now because her crackling reiki, but if it kept Kagome from injuring herself, he could put up with it.

If someone came across them, which was unlikely, they would have either seen a blood covered youkai trying to do something horrible to a human woman, or they would have seen Ryura's horrified and flustered face and quickly lost themselves to laughter because of the hilarious way he was looking at the woman under him.

Gasping loudly and her eyes opening, Kagome woke with a start, her body stilling. She panted with the exertion of using her power to the point she had. Besides feeling drained, Kagome felt a lot better considering not more than five or so hours before, she felt like she was on her death bed.

And then she noticed Ryura over her, staring at her with wide eyes and looking like he wanted to crawl under the nearest rock. Kagome took a mental picture of the look on his face and quietly filed it in her brain under "this is what embarrassed looks like." The look was apparently contagious, because soon enough Kagome found herself with a blushing face all the way to her ears and shoulders.

"You... um, Ryura?" she squeaked.

The Dragon Daiyoukai shot up from his position and was three feet away from her before Kagome could finish blinking. He glanced at her but quickly looked away, turning his back on her and mumbling an apology.

Damnit, he was a Dragon Daiyoukai, Patriarch of one of the oldest noble Houses to exist in Nippon, former General of the Four War Gods – murderer extraordinaire – and Lord over the Eastern Lands of Nippon, but here he was, blushing and sputtering like an embarrassed child. He didn't know whether to be mortified or just give up and let Touga take him.

Kagome slowly rose to her feet and awkwardly twisted her foot around in the dirt. Well, that had been an experience and a half. She folded her arms over her stomach and lowered her gaze to look at her foot still twisting away. She knew why Ryura was holding her down. While it might not have seemed like it, she was aware of what was going on while she was having the seizure and had came to the same conclusion Ryura had; she must have ingested his blood that was left behind from before. Even with as little as Kagome knew about youkai, she knew that Dragon youkai blood was deadly at best.

"Come on," Ryura said after a few more minutes of embarrassed silence. "Your village is close."

With that said he walked ahead of her and she quickly scrambled to catch up to him while brushing dirt and leaves off of herself. Her arms went to fold behind her back as she walked, her eyes watching the braid his hair was in sway back and forth.

"Why do most youkai I've met have long hair?" She suddenly asked. "You, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, Tsuyoshi, and the Phoenix in the War Gods. Even Kouga and Naraku have long hair. I think the only ones I've seen without long hair are that Tiger you were with on Horai Island and Ginta and Hakkaku."

"The Phoenix was Kyora and the Tiger, Jura. I'm not for sure who Kouga, Ginta, and Hakkaku are, but generally youkai with long hair hold some position of political power," Ryura replied. Speaking about something other than his embarrassed state was fine with him. Didn't mean he could look her in the eyes yet, but he could talk now. He kept his gaze forward as he walked, not looking back to Kagome once.

He heard Kagome hum thoughtfully then say, "Huh, I guess that makes sense. Ginta once called Kouga a Prince. Sesshoumaru is a Lord, Inuyasha is the son of the Inu no Taisho and a Princess, Izayoi. You're a Lord. But Tsuyoshi and Kyora? What are their positions?"

"On top of being a water Dragon Daiyoukai, Tsuyoshi was my sire's General, now my Steward until I can build an army. Kyora was the son of a delegate from China," the Dragon said with a nod. "Youkai females generally do the same things, and from what I understand humans are the same way."

"Naraku's body is the corpse of a warlord, so I think we can safely assume that humans practice the same." Kagome had sped up to walk alongside Ryura, though she found she couldn't look at him either.

"Miko wear their hair long, as well. To see yours as short as it is, is a bit surprising," Ryura mumbled with a small glance in her direction. "The clothing you wore when I first met you do not denote you a Miko, either, but rather a..." he trailed off, not wanting to offend her.

"A what?" Kagome asked almost pleadingly. She always wondered how people looked to her, but she was too afraid to ask before now.

She had seen looks people would give her whenever she would pass them on the road as she traveled, or how some women would give her disgusted looks while in villages that weren't Kaede's. Whenever she tried to ask Inuyasha or Sango why that was, her throat would constrict painfully and she wouldn't be able to get the question out of her mouth.

Ryura sighed through his nose and prepared himself for Kagome to burst a blood vessel, "A prostitute. You dress as if you were a prostitute."

Instead of anger like he expected, Kagome's pace slowed down until she stopped walking altogether. Ryura stopped as well and turned back to look at her. Her head was bowed and he couldn't see her face, but he could smell salt on the air.

Wonderful, just wonderful. He made her cry.

"S-so is that why Jaken... Always calls me a whore?" She whispered.

Oh, well. Ryura had dug his grave, now he had to lie in it. He squared his shoulders and nodded once, "Yes, it is."

"And why Inuyasha sometimes runs off men when we have to stop at a village?" She asked next.

"Most likely. Inu have a strong sense of smell, more powerful than any other youkai. He was possibly able to smell the male's want for you," Ryura mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

Kagome looked up to him then and she held a hard look in her eyes. "Because you've saved me twice so far, I think I owe you an explanation. You're a Lord. If I'm seen as a whore, it won't do your reputation any good if you're seen with me. I don't want to harm Sesshoumaru's reputation either."

"Kagome, my reputation isn't really the greatest-" he was quickly cut off.

"No, I want to, so please, let me." She said.

Ryura nodded jerkily. If that's what she wanted, who was he to really try and stop her?

"Where I come from, what I wore when you first met me was my school uniform. For people my age it can be considered formal wear," she began. "When I first arrived in this era, I didn't know what was going on. I wasn't even aware I had the Shikon no Tama inside of me, or that I was a Miko."

Kagome paused to step slightly closer to him so she wouldn't have to speak so loudly.

"You see, in my era youkai don't exist. They're myths. I've never felt another youkai's presence besides Inuyasha's when he comes with me. I had no idea what Inuyasha was when I first met him, when I released him from the seal Kikyou placed him under fifty years ago," Kagome said then turned her head upwards to look at the moonlight cracking through the treetops.

She inhaled deeply before continuing. "I was given a Miko uniform after a battle, when the Shikon no Tama was ripped from my side. My shirt was torn and bloody, so Kaede had me take a bath and put on the red hakama and white haori. The response I got from Inuyasha is one I never want to get again. He told me to take it off, because I looked too much like Kikyou; that it reminded him too much of her."

"He compared you to her, didn't he?" Ryura asked, and Kagome nodded.

"He has, and still does sometimes. Since I'm her reincarnation, he's pretty disappointed that I'm not just like her." Kagome was looking away again, staring up at the trees. "He thinks I should have been born knowing how to fire a bow as well as she can, how to use my reiki as well as she can, and know exactly what she did. He expected me to act like her, and when I didn't, he had a problem with it – mind you, this was a long time ago now. But every now and then, when I miss my target, I catch him looking at me with that same look. It's like his eyes are screaming at me that Kikyou would have made the shot."

Ryura moved to stand beside her and he too looked up at the moonlight. With his arms folded over his chest, his elbow was slightly brushing against Kagome's arm. "Have you ever been trained to use a bow?" He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but he failed miserably. Now he understood why Touga had been so angry with Inuyasha.

"No. I'm flying by the seat of my pants," Kagome admitted, ignoring the anger in Ryura's voice. "And now I have the Sacred Longbow of Mount Azusa. I don't know what I'm doing half of the time with it. I just follow what my heart tells me to do."

"Do you want to learn?"

Kagome looked at him with seriousness and nodded, "I always have, ever since I found out I would be fighting while here. Just..."

"Inuyasha has never give you the chance to train." He finished for her. "Because he thinks you should already know what to do."

"Yeah. He thinks I'm lazy," Kagome muttered angrily. "I've been so tempted to just give up, tell Inuyasha that if he thinks Kikyou is better than I am, then he should have her track down the shards so I can go back home and stop ruining my life there."

"What do you mean?" Ryura asked with a confused expression.

"Everyone, no matter who they are, are given free education. Sure, there are private institutions, but your family has to have quite a bit of money to be able to attend. This education and how well we complete it follows us the rest of our lives, and because of that, our choices for jobs are either extremely limited or very open," Kagome explained. "Since I'm here fighting off Naraku and trying to gather together the jewel I broke, my education is slipping."

Ryura was silent to that, thinking over what she had said. Kagome was the one who broke the Shikon no Tama? His attention was returned to her when she began speaking again.

"My grandfather has had to come up with excuse after excuse to explain why I'm missing so many days of school. I'm pretty sure half of my teachers think I'm on my death bed because grandpa got a hold of a medical reference book awhile back," she said with a chuckle. "But we've had it set up where as long as I do the assignments and try to make it to class for tests, that my situation will be treated as if I'm home-schooled, or taught from home by either a tutor or my mother. And yet again, whenever I have to go home for those tests, Inuyasha thinks I'm being lazy and skipping out on my duty as a 'shard detector', as he's called me."

Ryura bristled at that. Inuyasha just wasn't rude, he was apparently stupid, too. Kagome was sacrificing her life in her birth era to put back together the Shikon no Tama and help her friends defeat Naraku, and Inuyasha had the gall to go and treat her as he did?

"Kagome," Ryura said to gain her attention when he settled down. She turned her eyes on him and waited with her head tilted to one side.

"I am going to be perfectly blunt. Inuyasha is an idiot. A crass, boorish idiot. If you wish to be trained, I will train you myself. I'm not unfamiliar with a bow," he said evenly. "If you wish to return to your era to take the tests you spoke of, I will take you to the well. All you need to do is ask."

Kagome smiled brilliantly at him. "That's wonderful! Thank you so much, Ryura! I was planning on asking Kaede and Miroku to help with my reiki, anyway. If it wasn't for you forcing my reiki to act, I probably would have died back there. I don't have any control over it unless I'm firing an arrow."

"Y-you were aware of what was happening?" Ryura sputtered. That means she had been able to feel everything he did. His cheeks colored in a soft blush and he looked anywhere but at her.

Kagome nodded softly and the embarrassed silence returned until Ryura cleared his throat and moved his red gaze to her. "When we meet up with the others, I will speak with Tsuyoshi of your situation with your clothing. He is more familiar with feminine styles than I am, considering he dealt with my sire's court far more than I ever did as a child. That is, at least, if you will permit it."

"If it'll stop people from calling me a whore? Sure, go for it."

Ryura half-grinned at her and after a moment, they resumed walking. Kagome chattered away, telling him of her era and the advancements from the era they were currently in. She told him of previous adventures she had with her friends, and he found out that he was not the only one who attempted to kill her in the past. Every person she held dear was at one time an enemy.

When she started telling him of the first time Sesshoumaru tried to kill her, Ryura couldn't help but laugh.

"He was so angry when I popped out of his poison and started yelling at him!" Kagome exclaimed. "I don't think I've ever seen a person look so shocked and angry at the same time!"

"So that's what he meant by the only time you've ever held a sword was to taunt him!" Ryura roared between bouts of laughter. He never, ever thought that a human woman would be able to get the drop on Sesshoumaru.

Kagome laughed as well. "More than likely- wait he said I held a sword to taunt him? When?"

"He was telling me of how my swords chose a temporary master, but wouldn't say who, and made me understand that you were an archer and never held a sword except to taunt him with," Ryura explained once he stopped laughing.

Grinning now, Kagome shook her head. She did sort of taunt him with it, especially when she handed the Tessaiga to Inuyasha and told him to beat Sesshoumaru. That was probably a worse insult to Sesshoumaru that surviving his poison was.

"Kagome, why are you so...comfortable around me?" Ryura suddenly asked.

Kagome had been expecting a question like that. She stopped walking and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt until he turned to look at her.

"It's because you've saved me. You've saved me not once, but twice now, and I'd like to think I've helped you, even though it was a little bit," she answered with a smile.

Ryura chuckled softly and ran a hand through his bangs, "You have. I was debating on ripping apart Nippon until Naraku came out before you showed up. If you hadn't came when you did, I wouldn't be standing here now."

Kagome smiled a smile that was bright and dazzling, and as they resumed walking, Ryura felt himself smiling as well.