I'm trying a small section that'll be a detour into first person.
Start Chapter 23
She sensed the Wraith move away from John and looked up at him but rather than the old grizzled face she was expecting to see she saw the same man who she had been arguing with a few hours before. He looked like he was still alive, "John are you?" however from the way his head was hanging she knew that he wouldn't be answering her. She was totally confused the Wraith had to have fed on John and yet John was still young.
"How did your companion kill himself?" the Wraith asked calmly as it reentered the room. She continued staring at John her eyes locked with his he looked as if he would wake up and smile at her at any second but the Wraith had just told her that he was dead.
"How has your companion killed himself?" it asked again advancing on her with some kind of syringe in its hand. It approached her again demanding to know what happened to John it stuck the syringe into her arm and smiled, "Your child shall take his place." He said opening the cocoon. She felt the drugs take effect immediately and slumped in unconsciousness.
***
She awoke with a start back in her cocoon. "Your child is becoming one of us." The Wraith said sticking another needle into her arm. "A truth serum," it told her as it released the serum into her blood stream dulling her senses.
The effect was immediate, "I truly do not know what John did to himself," she said fighting the unconsciousness that threatened her, apparently a side effect of the drug.
"You will tell me what I wish to know and you will pay for what he kept," it flexed its fingers preparing to feed on her it wouldn't kill her but take a few years to temporarily satisfy its hunger. She felt its hand on her chest and wondered if minor feeding would kill her child. Then that hit her, her child…her child…he was gone. Tears slipped down her face, it didn't matter anymore none of it mattered, John and her child both gone within hours of each other. Hey eyes closed and she waited for the Wraith to begin draining her life. When it didn't she tried to open her eyes but found herself unable to do so. She considered allowing unconsciousness to claim her but she knew the nightmares that would come with it she fought it.
She managed to get her eyes open for a moment but could not make sense of what she saw. It appeared that the Wraith was on the floor knelling before another glowing humanoid figure. Her eyes closed again and she fought with all of her strength to get them open again but she drifted off.
When she came to she was no longer upright and she was moving her arms were draped around something warm, soft, and…and human. Someone was carrying her! She struggled to open her eyes to see who it was carrying her but she wasn't able to open her eyes. "Go back to sleep you're going to need a lot of sleep in the coming the days," she found herself immediately complying with the mysterious order.
***
When she awoke again she was still aboard the Wraith hive but this time she was in the dart bay she didn't know why the Wraith hadn't killed her or the person carrying her yet but she hoped their luck would hold out. She realized that whoever was carrying her probably didn't know where to take her, "Atlantis," she choked out.
"I know. fear not I will get you there safely now sleep you are going to need your rest but before you do I have one other thing to ask of you."
"What?"
"You must speak to Sheppard immediately please do that first." She again felt her body betraying her and immediately complying with the order to sleep and an overwhelming desire to talk to John, but she realized he's dead.
"D…De," she couldn't finish the sentence as she drifted off again.
***
She awoke again and felt more rested she didn't try and open her eyes at first but when she heard the steady beep…beep…beep of a heat beat monitor her eyes flew open and she found that she was able to focus on her surroundings again. She saw Doctor Keller walking past towards another patient and called to her, "Doctor Keller."
The doctor stopped and turned back to Teyla, "good you're up."
"Did John make it back?" She felt the need to speak with him and despite the ridiculousness of asking if a man she saw die was back she had to.
"Yes how did you two get back?"
"I must speak with him."
Keller looked at her sadly Teyla appeared numb and unconcerned with the doctor's look, "Teyla we need to talk first."
"What about?" Teyla asked still unable to notice the doctor's tone and eyes.
Keller took a deep breath, "Teyla I don't know how to tell you this.
"Tell me what?"
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry Teyla but you…you're…the baby it's...it's gone," she said enveloping Teyla in a hug. Teyla felt overwhelmed for a moment before she felt numb again and unable to feel anything.
"I'm sorry I must speak to John," she said leaving Keller and passing Carter on the way out of the infirmary. Keller stood rooted in place shocked by Teyla's behavior Keller walked over to Carter hoping for some answers.
"Any luck?"
"No Rodney was unable to get the door open and Ronon's method didn't work to well either we've got no idea how he was able to do it but he's locked himself in their pretty good."
"We should tell Teyla," Keller said reaching for her radio.
"No Rodney thinks that if anyone can get in there it would be Teyla he says the door works it's just not admitting anyone in there."
"Then why can't he bypass it?"
"We don't know."
"Did you see her though? She seemed like she didn't even care about her baby."
"I know I couldn't believe it, something happened to them on that ship and I don't think we want to know what it was."
***
She approached his door as some sort of unfeeling zombie. She approached the door and it opened without her activating the sensor. As soon as it opened she seemed to come alive again she looked warily into the room it was pitch black the light seemed to stop at the entrance way and cross no further. She stepped into the room slowly cautiously, "John?" she asked her voice wary. As the words escaped her mouth she felt something surge forward in front of her it was quick just as she sensed its movement she felt someone's mouth on hers. She felt his tongue enter her mouth quickly and a moment later she felt a shock and he recoiled. Light streamed into the room blinding her. It quickly dimmed revealing John standing before her looking slightly embarrassed by his actions. She looked up at him confusion in her eyes.
"Sorry about that."
She felt her mind begin to return to a normalcy she hadn't felt since she'd seen him die but while the foggy haze that had prevented her from thinking was gone no answers had replaced it. She looked up at him hoping he would have some answers for her, "John what happened on that ship? Why am I unable to feel anything for my child? Why did you kiss me?"
He interrupted her realizing she would have still more questions, "Teyla I'm sorry I really am but I'm the cause of your lack of feelings and I can explain the others." She looked at him strangely, "Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you."
He was making no sense to her, "how John?"
He stepped closer to her she felt him exhale, "Close your eyes."
She closed her eyes although she wasn't entirely sure she could still trust him, he was acting very different. A moment later she felt a strange sensation and when it passed she opened her eyes only to find that she was no longer on Atlantis but back on the Wraith Cruiser. As she looked around the room her eyes fell upon the impossible she frantically searched for John eyes wide with fear and shock. She found him a few feet behind her smiling, "John what is this?"
"Watch," he said continuing to smile at her. As she turned to look back at the room she saw three Wraith enter two stayed by the door and another moved towards John. She recognized the words as those the wraith had said just before it had fed upon John.
"John what is this?" She asked confused about why she was seeing this.
"You're reliving a memory your body is still on Atlantis don't worry," he told her walking right behind her she felt his breath on her neck.
As the wraith moved to feed she turned and faced him, "Why are you making me watch this John?" she asked her voice pleading with him to stop it but it continued as she heard herself utter an anguished cry across the room.
"I want you to understand, Teyla, I need you to understand."
"What about the others?" she asked realizing she didn't know how Rodney and Ronon had made out in the rescue operation.
"They can find out in other ways later, but I need you to understand first."
"Why me?"
He smiled at her as he took a few steps away from her. Teyla saw the Wraith reenter and inject her with something. She saw herself slip into unconsciousness and knew that this was the last thing she had a clear memory of. She was dragged out of the room, by the two lesser Wraith. She followed her body through the Wraith ship finally ending up in surgery.
***
The Wraith stood over her admiring the knife, newborns were a prized commodity among the Wraith, they had such life force to give. Teyla was shocked to hear the Wraith's thoughts. "Kind of scary the first time isn't it?" John asked from behind her. "Hearing their thoughts, they're so weird." He gave her his charming smile in an attempt to disarm her. She turned her attention back to the scene.
The male may have died, but he intended to savor this newborn. He moved over to his "patient" a wicked smile playing across his face. He lowered the scalpel to her bare belly. On the verge of making his first incision he growled when he heard another approach. "Forgive the intrusion commander, but the Queen has ordered you to not feed on the child." The minion paused for a moment afraid that the scalpel would end up in his neck. Seeing that it wasn't he quickly continued, "We have learned much from the hybrids research and she wishes to test it out on this one."
He hissed at the minion, "Bring me the syringes with his formula and I can have it finished within the hour." He turned back to Teyla's body and growled.
***
After another couple of minutes in which nothing happened the three wraith reentered and one approached Teyla while the other two stayed by the door. She saw the lead wraith approach her it looked as if it were preparing to feed. She looked around to find John and noticed that he was several feet away from her now. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Johns body encased in the cocoon still. He appeared alive and well—if acting strangely—but he was definitely dead in that cocoon. She stared at his face it looked like he still could have been alive she imagined it was still warm. As her eyes came upon his—the living one standing off to the side-- she smiled slightly knowing that he was still alive. She sought him out wanting to make sure that he was still alive and she wasn't dreaming; that they had in fact escaped this nightmarish ship. She looked around and saw that he had moved far away from her for whatever reason she looked back over to the dead version of him. She walked towards the corpse slowly as if afraid she would change history, her eyes searching everywhere on him for a sign of life. When she was a few feet away his eyes burst open exploding with light. She jumped back as tendrils of light escaped from his eyes she saw that the rest of his body seemed to be glowing as well. The cocoon exploded a moment later giving her a good look at his naked arms which appeared to be glowing slightly. "John?"
"My body is partly ascended. Energy is flowing through me," he answered from across the room as the other John stepped out of the cocoon to the shock of the wraith. The one that had been about to feed on her stepped back and moved away from John the other two raised their stunners preparing to fire. John's head snapped to them and he hissed at them as they fell to the ground dead.
The other wraith fell to its knees something she knew wasn't voluntary by the look in its eyes John walked slowly over towards it; when he was right in front of it he looked at his hand. He inspected it staring at his palm and then turning it over and continuing to stare at it he closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment. When he opened his eyes again the skin appeared paler and a faint smile appeared on his lips he leant down next to the wraith and whispered something into its ear. Teyla watched the wraith and for the first time in her life she saw a wraith tremble in fear. She heard the wraith cry out in pain a moment later. She looked at the wraith confused as to what was causing it pain as her eyes crossed its chest she saw something she never thought she would Johns hand feeding on the wraith. She spun around to face him he had anticipated her move and was already holding up both of his hands palms facing her showing her that he was not a wraith, "I can change my DNA at will," he explained.
"Where is Colonel Sheppard?" she demanded of him.
"I told you to call me John when were off duty and I'm right here," he said as the world around them froze.
"You just told me you can change your DNA. John cannot," she advanced towards him angrily.
"Teyla it's me John."
"Then prove it tell me something only he would know," she demanded closing in on him.
"Like what? Missions? First meeting? Final words?" he asked knowing that he would be able to tell her everything but not whether any of it would satisfy her.
"What was the last thing he said to me?" she said continuing her advance on him.
"I apologized for not being strong enough to protect you," he said smiling at how wrong he had been.
"What was the first thing you asked me when we were alone?" she asked stopping her advance towards him.
"If I looked through you," he smiled remembering when he had no knowledge of the wraith and none of the memories that he was now burdened with.
"What did you say to me on the Daedalus on the way to Sateda?" she asked taking a few steps back away from him.
"That you were all family to me," he said hoping that this was her final questions.
"Who are you that you know these things?" she asked again standing a few feet from him.
"Teyla it's me, John, but perhaps you should continue to watch," he suggested as the scene moved forward again.
She turned and watched as the wraith fell back dead and John slowly moved over towards her. He whispered something to her quietly she could barely hear it but she knew it wasn't any language she had ever heard before. He then placed his hands on her, closed his eyes and bowed his head. She saw an incision on her belly heal immediately.
He continued smiling at her as a white light began to surround him. It was similar to when she had witnessed ascension before but different he was maintaining his human form, "John?" every time she asked a question she simply became more confused. As his body became light she saw something she had never heard or seen before multicolored bands began rippling around and through him. "In simple terms Teyla I am ascended I am the reason you got off that ship, can't feel anything for your son, and the reason you felt the need to speak to me."
"Why did you do that?"
He approached her slowly and spoke with a quiet affection, "Because I never could allow harm to come to you."
She took a deep breath preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have, "What are you?"
He smiled at least she hadn't run away screaming she was handling this better than he expected, "You know the ancients ascended to a higher plane of existence right?"
"You are an ancestor?" she asked skeptically some of the powers he had demonstrated she had never heard of the ancients possessing.
"No. The ancients inhabit one plane of existence now I inhabit another one."
"If you are ascended why do the ancestors not stop you?"
"They can't, they've tried before and failed," he said his eyes dimming as he remembered when the ancients had last attempted to stop him and what he had had to do in order to prevent them from doing so.
"They failed?" she asked in total shock that a species as powerful as the ancients could fail to stop one man.
"Yes I inhabit a much higher plane than the one the ancients inhabit and because of that my power is much greater than that of the ancients. I can answer the rest of your questions when this is over please watch," he asked as her memory resumed. She nodded and turned away from him. The wraith was on the floor dead and he was walking towards the cocoon that she was trapped in. She was still unconscious as the cocoon opened and he approached her. A look of concern flashed over his eyes as he saw her condition he placed his hands on her and closed his eyes again. "I needed to heal you I'm sorry I couldn't save your child."
"Why couldn't you?"
"The Wraith experimented on him, he wasn't human anymore."
"You can change your DNA, why cannot you not fix my son?"
"I can't change another's DNA. To do so would violate some of my highest laws."
She realized she wasn't feeling much of anything for her son, no grief. "You are still blocking my emotions?"
"Yes," he said as she turned back to the cocoon where John and finished healing her. He then gathered her in his arms and left the room heading for the dart bay. She realized that when she had woken up she had been in his arms as he carried her out of the ship. Her thoughts were interrupted when he spoke to her again, "Would you like me to stop?"
"Stop what?" she asked as he approached her.
"Inhibiting your emotions," he said standing in front of her staring into her eyes.
She was surprised at his willingness to stop she had expected to have to demand that he stop but now faced with the choice she wasn't so sure, "I…I."
"You don't have to decide now," he said as she looked up into his eyes. She found herself unable to look away as the world faded around her to be replaced by his quarters on Atlantis.
"I must leave I have business to attend to and you must be tired," he said moving to the door. She turned slowly suddenly feeling as if she hadn't slept in days. "You can sleep here if you want I have no need for it any longer," he said as he walked out the door closing it behind him. She stood their speechless she wanted to see her people but she was exhausted and the bed looked so very comfortable.
***
Several hours later
"Rodney look at this," Sam said looking at one of the control room screens while Rodney was busy with the long range sensors.
"Yeah it's our power usage to output, looks normal," he said arriving at the console tablet in hand.
"Look at the output," she said tapping the screen where the output reading was.
"What? That's not possible," he said a mixture of surprise and fascination in his voice about the impossible readings.
"That'd be about what 10 or 12."
"It has to be some sort of error I'll have someone run a diagnostic," he said tapping a few keys on his tablet to confirm the data.
"Rodney I don't think it's an error," she said looking at the screen.
"Why?" he said looking up at the screen, "now that's impossible what could possibly be using that much power." He said seeing that their power consumption had increased to almost match their new power output.
"I don't know but let's start running every diagnostic we can."
He began walking away when both of their radios came to life, "Please meet me at the top of the control spire in five minutes," they heard Sheppard say.
***
They stepped out of the teleporter eager to find out why Sheppard had called them here. They stepped out on the balcony and saw Sheppard his back facing them hands on the railing, "Hello Doctors," he said mysteriously.
"Colonel why did you call us here?" they asked approaching him slowly.
"Your questions about the power usage," he said still staring out into the city.
They stopped a few feet from him, "What about them?"
"Would you like the answers?" he said slowly removing his hands from the railing and letting them fall to his sides.
"You know what's causing it?" Rodney asked as Carter took another step towards him.
He turned around slowly, "Yes," his body was bursting with energy. As he faced them they both jumped back away from him.
"John what is happening to you?" Carter asked trying to sound as friendly as possible.
He smiled at her as more of his body was converted into energy and bands of energy appeared around him. "Come I wish to show you something," he said moving through them and heading towards the teleporter they had just left out of. It took a moment, but they both realized that John was now ascended.
"What?" Rodney asked again following him.
"Get in," he ordered brusquely stepping into the teleporter.
"Where are we going?" they both asked stepping inside. He didn't answer them and instead just tapped the screen activating it.
***
They emerged from the teleporter in a seldom used section of the city. "We're by the hyperdrive engine," Rodney commented emerging from the teleporter. John continued down towards a staircase Sam and Rodney followed now sure that something was happening with the ships drive but still unsure of what exactly was happening. They followed him silently down two flights of stairs arriving at a rarely used door.
He turned and faced them standing just in front of the door, "You wanted to see where all that extra power is going?"
"And where it's coming from," Rodney added as Sheppard opened the door and stepped inside. The room was spacious and contained a number of screens and a large window which overlooked the previously empty interior of the spike. They walked to the window and looked down into the interior, "What is that?" They asked looking down and seeing a shimmering energy field.
"That is a shield and where your power is going," he said moving over to the nearby controls and looking at the readouts. "To be more specific it's the tertiary shield a backup in case the first two fail."
"What are they there for?" Carter asked moving over to the readouts while Rodney remained at the window.
"Containment procedure and to use up all the extra power," he answered adjusting a few of the controls.
"What kind of containment is this?" Rodney asked now looking at the readouts as well.
"A three shield containment system the first shield is sustained long enough for the second shield to build up a charge at which point it takes over the containment and draws enough power to sustain itself while the third shield exists solely to protect Atlantis in the event that the second shield fails."
"But what is it containing?"
Sheppard smiled at them as the third shield faded and was replaced with the first shield surrounded by a thin second one. Looking at the readouts they saw that this was where all of their power was going although they still had no idea where it was coming from. He turned to them, "Watch and keep your minds open to all possibilities."
They walked over to the window and stared down as John moved behind them. With their attention firmly focused on the shields they didn't notice as his body turned into energy as he began ascending. Noticing the light behind them they turned to look at its source, "Sheppard what are you doing?"
"I will explain later now watch the shields this is something you two don't want to miss," he said and they slowly turned around still eying him but trusting him enough to turn around. A moment later they saw a flash of light and energy washed over the first shield which held for a moment as the second shield flashed a bright green a moment later the first shield collapsed and the light in the center expanded to meet the second shield which held.
"What is it?" they both asked still staring at it.
"A White hole," he said standing next them appearing fully human again.
"But…But those…they don't exist," Rodney sputtered while Carter having more experience with the impossible remained silent.
"Normally yes but I am not subject to the same laws that you are I can break them and follow them at will. When designing Atlantis I decided on many security measures to make sure that the power this provides would not be abused and the shields would be safe from damage and tampering."
"Where is the power for the shields coming from?" Carter asked as Rodney stood in silent amazement.
"Extra ZPMs that are heavily secured. With this power however you will be able to run many additional systems including the full defensive and offensive systems."
"Wait Atlantis has weapons beyond that of drones?"
"Yes drones are nothing compared to what a fully powered Atlantis can fire."
"What are you?"
"I am ascended,"
"Why don't the ancients stop you and how do exist like that? Orlin couldn't." Carter asked looking at the screens again and seeing how much power her teams would have to use for their experiments.
"They tried once and failed miserably so we've reached an understanding. As for Orlin, well my kind are able exist in both states simultaneously the Alterans are not able to do so."
"You defeated the Ancients?" Rodney asked in disbelief.
"Yes would you like me to explain our history?"
"Yes," Rodney answered immediately.
Sheppard took a breath in preparing for his response, "There are many planes of existence the Ancients inhabit an ascended one. I inhabit a much higher ascended one because of what I am I can understand more of the universe than the Ancients can and I can exert more control over it. I believe in interfering on the lower planes this as you can imagine was a point of contention between us. When the war against the wraith started they allowed me to participate but as more and more began to ascend and they decided that I shouldn't be fighting in the war anymore and attempted to stop me. I resisted and they failed, some died in the fight but most survived. They knew I didn't want to fight them but I knew they couldn't defeat me so we struck a deal where I wouldn't interfere for a time and then I could interfere without their opposition."
"So we just got lucky that now all of a sudden you can do whatever you want?"
"Not entirely the Ancients can still oppose my actions, which is why I have not wiped out the Wraith yet. Colonel Carter could we use the conference room as somewhere to review my actions?"
"Why would you have it here?"
"Atlantis was their capital city and some still have a certain fondness for it."
"No why here on this plane?"
"Well you will have a say in the matter of course and so it will be held here."
"Oh we're going to have a say in this?"
He moved towards the door opening it with his gene, "Of course we would not act without your consent."
"Who will be representing us?"
"That is your choice," he said heading back up the stair case and towards the rest of the city.
They remained down in the observation room for some time simply absorbed in the energy readouts and the impossible singularity that was now powering their city. After syncing the tablets with the Ancient machines they headed back up the stairs following the path John had lead them down hours before.
A/N- More should be clarified in future chapters. Hope you enjoyed, and in the event you didn't realize yes this is the Secret that the title refers to. I might update this in the future if it's unclear so let me know.