Start Chapter 28

"John, I have to go," Teyla said sadly.

"Ok, you know where to find me."

***

Teyla entered Kanaan's quarters, "Kanaan how are you?"

"I am well Teyla although I have missed you. How have you been?"

His words were kind and she happily smiled, "I am well."

"Come I have made us dinner."

She looked at him uneasily he was being far too nice and formal, "thank you."

Teyla sat down opposite Kanaan. She stared at her food lost in her thoughts. "Teyla where were you today?"

"What? Oh I was with John."

"John?"

She winced, she sensed that Kanaan had a problem with John and he was unlikely to get over it any time soon. "Yes John, do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, I do not like how much time you have been spending with him."

"He is my friend."

"And lover?"

"Kanaan I have not been unfaithful to you."

"Teyla I do not think I can trust you with him."

"You cannot control every aspect of my life."

"Teyla it's me or him."

She stopped unsure of how to respond. She closed her eyes, lowered her head, took a deep breath. Her voice was low barely above a whisper, "John." She got up and left his quarters heading back to her own.

She stayed there for a few hours crying for her son, Kanaan, John, and herself. Eventually however she knew she had to get up and do something. She wandered mindlessly through the city hoping to collect her thoughts.

***

She found herself at the door to John's quarters. She palmed it open. She activated her radio and sent a quick message to John, "John can you come to your quarters please." She waited a few minutes and heard him open the doors himself. She was shrouded in darkness, but he was illuminated by the light from the hallway, it was enough for her to notice how nervous he looked. He stood in the doorway unsure of what to do. "Teyla?"

"In here."

He stepped into the room searching for her; seeing him so nervous and human injected her with a dose of confidence and she closed the gap between them standing mere inches from him, "did you mean it?"

"Uh…mean what?" He was unnerved by how quickly she had gotten close to him.

"What you said on the Wraith hive." She looked up at him hope filling her eyes.

He smiled to her, "Teyla, I love you."

Her heart soared; she had longed to hear him repeat those words since she'd gotten off the Wraith hive. "John, I want….I want you."

She pulled him down into a heated kiss. She smiled against his lips as she maneuvered them towards the bed. When he sensed what she was doing he pulled back, "Tey I don't think you...it's." He knew that she didn't fully understand what this would mean for him.

She smiled for a second at him calling her Tey before she was lost again in the feel of him against her, "shhhh, I-we both want this."

Her hands had already found their way underneath his shirt and she pushed him down onto the bed with her. As he hit the mattress he realized he didn't care if she understood the importance of it; he loved her and he didn't want to be with anyone else.

***

She woke wrapped in his arms, smiling. She snuggled closer to him turning over and stealing a good morning kiss from him.

He had awoken a few minutes prior and quietly enjoyed the feel of the sleeping woman in his bed. When she awoke and snuggled closer to him he was slightly reminded of the last time she had done something like that. Another lifetime ago back on the ship. He knew what that night meant even if Teyla didn't. "Good morning beautiful."

She smiled at him a wondrous glorious smile, "I think I'm rather fond of waking up this way."

"So am I, I want to stay but Rodney wanted me to help explain some things."

"You're going to leave me for Rodney?"

"Do you have any reason I should stay?"

"I think I can think of one or two."

***

Teyla whimpered beside him as he slipped out of her grasp and planted his feet on the floor. "I'm sorry Tey but I really do have to go."

She smiled sadly at him, "I guess I'll just have to entertain myself than," she crossed her arms and pretended to pout.

"He turned back to her, "hey I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Perhaps I should show you what you'll be missing," she said as she planted light kisses on his back as he sat there searching for his discarded clothes.

"No really I need to go."

"Stay."

"Teyla, if you ask me that one more time I'm liable to say yes."

"Please stay," she smiled at him.

"Tey."

She smiled at him until he opened the door.

"John are you really going to leave me here and go see Rodney?"

"I wish I didn't have to," He said sadly. He turned and smiled at her, "I love you."

He left before she was able to respond.

She watched the door close behind him. She turned over and closed her eyes hoping to catch another few hours of much needed sleep. A few minutes later the door opened again admitting Morgan. Her entrance startled Teyla who instinctively covered herself in John's sheets. "Hello Teyla."

Teyla smiled uncomfortably, "Hello Morgan, can I ask why you are here?"

"I was looking for John," Morgan lied.

"He is with Rodney."

Morgan glanced around uncomfortably, "Teyla, if you don't mind me asking, did you and John…have… sex?" She looked mortified at the idea.

Teyla smiled, "yes, I chose what I wanted and took it."

Morgan's eyes went wide, "do you have any idea what you just did!"

"Besides John?" The Athosian laughed she felt free and happy for the first time in a long time.

Morgan's eyes flashed with anger, "now is not the time for fun and games."

"What's the matter we're both adults, I thought about my decision and I want John."

"Teyla did John explain his mating rituals?"

"With words? No we were kind of preoccupied."

"Teyla, you don't understand John mates for life."

Teyla paused for a moment, "so John will not be with anyone else besides myself for my life?"

"No, for his."

"His life?"

"Yes."

"And if I die?"

"He won't mate again."

Teyla laid there stunned into silence. After a few minutes and many attempts she finally managed to choke out a two words, "how-why?"

"You're aware that John and his species weren't the result of evolution, but of genetic manipulation and design?"

"Yes."

"Well when the original three were constructed they eventually noticed that the third one was rather promiscuous and they worried that he had a looser moral and ethical code than they would have liked. Considering their power their creators correctly felt that a strong moral and ethical code was necessary. When they created John they did everything in their power to ensure that he would have a strong moral code."

"They succeeded I take it?"

"For the most part."

"What about the first two?"

"They ended up becoming each other's mates."

Teyla felt sick and betrayed at the thought of what she had just done to John, he would never mate with someone else again. She knew she would feel compelled to join him permanently so that he would not be alone for eternity. "How did they?"

"Make him that way? I don't know and he's never helped us get anywhere near that level of advancement. How advanced his creators truly were is unknown as he refuses to discuss them."

"Why?"

"It is painful for him and he does not wish to give away everything they could do."

"If John didn't want to alter your development why reveal himself at all?"

"His beliefs are complicated, but the primary reason was because did want to help us but not to the point where we would be achieving their level of technology."

"He said he wanted to help Earth and the rest of humanity with its technological development."

"He will help you get to our level but not anywhere beyond that."

"Morgan, John offered to help me ascend and join him."

"That would be a major undertaking one and I would suggest you think long and hard about it as once you go down that road there is no turning back. Be aware also that the council does not look kindly upon that prospect and would do everything they could to deter John from that course of action."

Teyla nodded. "Am I interrupting something?" John asked as he walked in on the two.

"No I was just leaving, and I imagine you and Teyla have other matters to attend to."

Teyla turned towards John and he felt her anger radiate out towards him, "you should have told me."

John detected the anger in her voice, "Teyla what's wrong?"

Her anger peaked, "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME."

John backed up and raised his hands in a defensive posture, "told you what?"

Her eyes were ice, "that you mate for LIFE."

"I did not think it would matter."

"Doesn't matter? John you just committed yourself to me for eternity and I've never even told you that I wanted anything more than sex."

"Do you?"

"That is not the point." She knew that truthfully she did want more, much more.

"I think it is."

"John you just chose me without even considering that this might not work out. What would you do if I died or left you?"

"Would you?"

"John!"

Teyla, I love you there's no one else I'd rather be with."

She shook her head, "John how could you be so rash?"

"I tried to tell you, but I got lost after you kissed me."

She tried to be angry with him, but felt her will breaking under his touch and gaze. "John."

He took another step closer to her, "I can't say I'm sorry."

"Do you understand the position you put me in?"

"What position?"

"Force you to be alone for eternity or give up my life."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to put you in that position.

She finally felt the last ounce of anger evaporate as his lips gently brushed against hers. She smiled, leaning into him and deepening it. As her tongue fought with John's she was reminded of their sparring sessions, she felt a momentary desire to engage him in one. That thought however was quickly discarded as she felt the passion within him. "No, John we need to-"

"-Damage is already done."

***

She drew lazy circles on his bicep while he dozed peacefully next to her. She felt him slowly begin to stir beneath her touch, "John we really need to talk about this."

He nodded knowing it was inevitable, "Teyla, I trust you. I love you. I'm not going to wait around and see if anyone better comes along, that's not what I want."

"John I…I don't want to hurt you-"

"But you can't say yes."

"No."

"I understand, I'll be leaving in a few days."

"I'll miss you."

"Tey, you just have to say my name, I'll never leave you alone for long."

"I…I…John I-"

He placed his finger on her lips silencing her, "I never needed the words."

End Chapter 28