Disclaimer: See last chapter
~ Chapter Seven ~
~ "I don't love you back." ~
Hotch slammed his hand down on the table, looking around at his team members, his friends, his family. They could see the anger in his eyes before he turned around, this time his hand colliding with the wall behind him.
He shook his head, clenching his fist as he thought about what had happened three days ago. He knew he should have stayed with her, he should have known better. He should have placed someone in that room with her, there was so much more he could have done and he did nothing. He just assumed she would be safe because of her gun, he assumed she would be safe because she had insisted he leave her alone. He had assumed and he was wrong.
Emily looked at her boss in shock, he was usually so calm, he never let Reid's kidnapping effect him, as much as she knew it had, but then she knew that although he loved Reid like a son, he loved JJ so much more, and in a different way. None of them would ever forgive themselves if anything happened to her, they knew they had to find her soon. Nothing could happen to her, she was strong, she would be safe... she kept trying to convince herself, they all did. But deep down, they knew it wasn't true.
Hotch looked down at the floor, and then towards the board, JJ's face smiling back at him, the words missing written above her photograph in large, red letters. He sighed, red meant danger, red meant blood, red meant rage, anger, hate. He shook his head, refusing to let the tears fall from his eyes as he looked up at the words. Red also could mean courage, determination, strength and love.
"Just hang in there." He whispered to the photograph, his fingers dancing lightly along her beautiful smile, ignoring the group behind him. For once in his life Hotch didn't care, he no longer cared that he was showing his true feelings in front of people he would have to work with, he didn't care about anything other than getting her back any more.
"We're going to find her, she's strong, she knows we will find her." Emily smiled, trying to convincer herself as well as those around her, as she stood up and put a hand on Hotch's shoulder. He nodded, his fingers leaving JJ's face as he turned around, muttering something about needing some time alone before walking out.
He looked around the bathroom, kicking a wall as tears fell down his pale face, she was gone and he had no idea how to help her. He knew this guy was obsessed with her, he killed for her, he was in love with her but that didn't help with the case, none of that told them where she was.
He heaved a deep sigh, looking at himself in the mirror as he raised his fist to punch it, he hated himself so much right then. He hated himself for leaving her alone, he hated himself for thinking that everything would be okay. He hated himself for giving into her so easily. Yeah, she wouldn't have been speaking to him if he or someone else stayed with her, but at least she would be safe. At least she would be in his arms when they had caught the guy. But no, she was alone with that guy and at the moment none of them had anything to go on to find them.
He let his hand drop, turning away from the mirror as more tears fell down his face. He should have known this would happen, he should have protected her and now she was alone and she was scared, and anything could happen to her. Anything.