"I'd say I told you so, but that wouldn't quite cover it." Vaan gripped, glaring at his friends.
When they failed to reply, he continued sarcastically, "It will be fine if we park the Strahl in Archades, no one will know!"
He gestured to the five imperial guards surrounding the airship, "I'd say they know!"
Vaan had been against parking the Strahl in the Archades aerodrome from the start, but the others assured him that they would be fine and that no one would notice.
Obviously, they were incorrect.
"Alright, let me handle this. I'll do all the talking." Vaan said.
He took a deep breath, schooled his expression and casually walked over to the only guard not preoccupied with inspecting their ship.
"What do you think your doing?" he asked sharply, putting as much haughty annoyance as he could into his tone.
"We're inspecting this airship. It is suspected of belonging too a dangerous group of rebels."
"This is our ship,"
The guard turned to face him squarely, "Is it now, then I'll have to question you."
"Do you know who we are?" Vaan asked, put out.
Penelo poked him in the back as a warning, but he ignored her.
"I know who the Strahl belongs too," the guard retorted, hand resting on the handle of his sword.
Vaan scoffed, "That is not the Strahl."
The soldier looked at the ship, then at them, then back to the ship, and finally settled on them once more.
"It matches the description and it also has the name Strahl painted across the side."
"Of course it does, it's supposed to look like the Strahl. It's part of our gimmick." Vaan replied.
The man stared at him for a few seconds before asking in confusion, "Gimmick?"
"You really don't know who we are!" he said, feigning shock.
The guard shrugged, "No, I don't."
"Well," Vaan said, tossing his head back and announcing conceitedly, "We are Vaan and the Sky Pirates."
"Your Sky Pirates?" he said, drawing his blade halfway.
The blonde boy heaved a sigh dramatically, "No, we're The Sky Pirates. It's our group's name."
"Group…name?" the solider asked, cocking his head to one side.
Vaan rolled his eyes in one long, exaggerated motion to sell the lie, "Yes, we're a band of course."
"A band?" he replied, looking them over in an unconvinced fashion, "Really…"
"Yes, we are quite popular."
The guard crossed his arms, "Well, I've never heard of you,"
"Never?" he said, now acting hurt, "That surprises me. We get mobbed wherever we go in…Balfonhiem."
Still seeming dubious, although it was hard to tell with the helmet, the soldier crossed his arms, "A band? What kind of music do you do?"
"Heavy metal." Vaan said evenly, as if it were true.
There was a pause.
"Really…I've still never heard of you."
"Do you listen to heavy metal music?"
"Well, no, but-"
He held his hands open wide, "Then that explains it!"
The guard sighed in complete confusion, "Alright, let me get this straight, you guys call yourselves sky pirates as a band name and knowingly travel around in an airship that matches the description of a wanted vehicle."
Vaan smiled, nodding, "Uh huh! Like I said, it's part of our gimmick. Outlaws are cool; all the fan girls and boys say so."
The man assessed their group, "I'm still going to have to question you. What are your names?"
"Well, I'm Vaan, like I said, and the others are named after the famous judges." he explained patiently and slowly.
"Judges?"
Vaan nodded again, "Yes, Judy, Milian, Alex, Joe Brown and Mathis."
"I've never heard of them." the soldier informed him, sounding puzzled once more.
The young man rolled his eyes, "I'd say you need some time off! Where have you been that you haven't heard of us, or the famous judges?"
"Well, I…I've been gone awhile, I suppose, but still…Where have you guys played?"
"Where haven't we played?" he countered.
The man paused, "Oh, I see…and where are you headed after leaving here?"
"Um…" Vaan glanced at the ship and then back to him, "Well, I'd tell you, but only a select few are invited to this next concert. We're very exclusive."
"Really?" he said, sounding less disbelieving and more impressed.
Vaan nodded, "Oh yes, but of course, we won't be going anywhere if you keep us here much longer. I mean, we have a tight schedule with our itinerary."
He was pretty sure that the lie was being bought thus far, and watched as the soldier thoughtfully rubbed his chin and looked over his shoulder at those surrounding the airship. Finally he glanced back and sighed, "Well, I will admit it would be pretty stupid for the real sky pirates to park their airship in our aerodrome!"
He started to laugh and Vaan joined in, "Yeah, it would be!"
He heard someone scoff behind him but paid it no mind. He had warned them, after all, and it was a sad state of affairs when he was the most focused and logical of the group.
"So," the guard said conversationally, "What's some of your songs? Or is that too exclusive to tell me, too?"
Vaan waved his hand at the man, "Oh, of course not! They are…" his eyes flicked down, and he caught sight of the sword hanging from his waist.
"Deathbringer, and…" he glanced over his shoulder at his friends for help, but they were just blank stares. "Fulminating Darkness and Shatterheart."
The guard nodded his approval, "Those are amazing song titles!"
"I know," Vaan replied, smugly crossing his arms, "I came up with them myself. You could say they just…popped into my head."
The guard glanced at them, this time without the suspicion. "So, what do you guys play?"
"Drums." they all replied in unison, glancing at each other afterwards. Vaan winced, spared a moment to glare over his shoulder at them, and then smiled nervously at the solider.
He frowned, "I thought you said you were a heavy metal band…"
"We are, a heavy metal percussion band. It's revolutionary. I'm also the led singer." he said quickly.
The soldier nodded, taking in all this information, "Pretty cool, I always wanted to be in a band!"
"Really?"
"Oh yeah, I mean, it would beat this job. I have to give out tickets for parking, how boring is that? Not like you guys, you guys probably have some amazing stories to tell me!"
Vaan chuckled nervously, "Oh, we sure do, we sure do…"
"But really, how long have you been around? I can't remember ever hearing about you."
He held up a finger, "Or have you heard of us and just not known?"
"Huh?" the guard said, scratching his head.
Vaan gestured to a nearby window, "Remember that explosion out at sea a few weeks ago?"
"Sure, everyone saw that!"
"That was our last gig."
The man gasped in awe, "No way! Oh my gosh, how are you going to top it? I mean, that had to be incredible!"
"It was something, I'll tell you that much. How are we going to top it? Wouldn't you like to know."
The man seemed to slump, "Yeah, I'm not really in the loop…"
Vaan looked around and then lowered his voice, "Tell you what, if you forget about this and don't tell any of our fans where we're headed, I'll give you some free tickets to our next concert."
"Are you serious?" the soldier said, sounding uncannily happy.
Vaan nodded, "Yes, here you go."
He handed him some blank sheets of paper, leading the man to stare at it.
"These…look blank to me."
"The ink is special. The information will only appear on the paper under the lights of the concert hall."
"Really? That's amazing!"
Vaan grinned, "You could almost say it was unbelievable."
He held the paper reverently, "Thank you so much! I can't wait to hear Deathbringer!"
Vaan just grinned and the soldier called to the others, "All right, let's move out, this is nothing, let's go."
They grumbled and shrugged but wandered out of the hanger anyway. While their new fan stayed behind to see them off.
"Thanks again, I'll see you guys soon! Oh, wait, where is this concert?"
"Rabanastre." Vaan replied distractedly, hurrying to shoo the others onto their craft so they could get away.
"Awesome!"
They scrambled into the ship and Vaan hissed, "Drive!"
"He thinks we're a band," Basch mentioned, sounding dumbfounded.
Ashe's eyes were wide, "He thinks we gave him tickets!"
"Won't he be surprised when he loses his job?" Vaan commented, wishing the engines didn't take so long to heat up.
Out the window they could see the guard waving them off.
"How did we lose to these guys?"
Author's note: This...Ha, this. So, during a cut scene in-game I was looking at the party and I thought; "Wow, what a group we make. They look like a band..." Thus, I shared my observation with my brother and the above was born over the course of an entire day of play. I must give him credit, this was co-written for sure! And, I always laugh whenever they park the Strahl in Archades...