Disclaimer: I do not own ThunderCats 1985 or 2011. Seriously, I don't.
Monkian, the very strong, but not-so-smart, spy of the Mutants of Plun-Darr, was patrolling the forests of Third Earth, looking out for any signs of ThunderCats or other trespassers. In his hands he carried a mace on a chain, and his favorite shield, a magical monkey-faced Monkian Shield that could shoot projectiles out of its mouth as a means of attack and defense. It had always been like a badge of honor to him, because only the leader of the Monkians was allowed to wield it.
It was strangely quiet in the neighborhood. Monkian knew that didn't forebode well, because the ThunderCats were always so damn quiet when they snuck up on a Mutant. But what he was going to encounter that day was not a ThunderCat, or one of their allies, either.
Suddenly, a huge, beastly creature came down from the trees and landed in front of Monkian. The Mutant started. It looked strangely like another Monkian; in fact, it looked almost exactly like him, but there were some differences. This Monkey was huge and hideous, with a very feral face that looked like it had spent most of its existence growling at one thing or another. His helmet was also spiked, and he looked like he was much more bloodthirsty than any normal Mutant. Monkian trembled a little.
The hulking Monkey looked him up and down. Then it said, "I never knew there was a spitting image of me. Of course, you're too small and weak to stand up to my strength."
"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Who are you to tell me how strong or small I am, big boy?" he said back. "I'll have you know that the Simian Mutants are the strongest, cleverest, and longest enduring of all the Mutant races of Plun-Darr! And anyway, you look too big and muscular to be from Plun-Darr. You look like a native of Third Earth."
"Hmm, as Addicus, one of Mumm-Ra's strongest generals, I'm not surprised that you would think that way, puny Monkian," said the Monkey named Addicus, smiling callously.
"Hoo! Hoo! What do you mean you're a general of Mumm-Ra?" Monkian exclaimed, "My cohorts and I work for him, and he never told us about you!"
"And he never told me about you," Addicus said. "Tell you what, Monkian. You look like you're a decent challenge, not to mention looking for a challenge yourself. So let's fight, one on one, and whoever wins is the better, stronger, and smarter Monkey. And if I win, I will be top Monkian on Third Earth, and as for what I'll do with you, well, let's just say that you look mighty tasty, Simian."
"And if I win," said Monkian, "I get to be top Monkian on Third Earth. Wait a minute! You want to eat me? A fellow primate? What are you, a cannibal?"
Addicus licked his lips. "Do we have to use such a harsh word, puny Monkian?" he said, "I just like to feed opportunistically whenever I can. And I don't like to leave anything to waste when I win a fight." He grinned.
Monkian was aghast. "You're insane, Addicus!" he shouted.
Addicus stared at him mockingly and said, "And I thought Monkeys had no use for fancy shields."
"This is a Monkian heirloom, you jerk!" Monkian yelled, "Every leader of the Monkian race carries it with him."
"Well then, I guess I can do what I like with it after I win," Addicus smirked.
Monkian sighed. "Let's just get on with this silly fight, okay?" he demanded.
"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, little ape," Addicus stated, "Because I give no quarter in battle, and I expect none from my opponents in return."
"Hoo, hoo! No problem," Monkian said, "We Mutants follow the same philosophy when we fight."
Addicus bared his sharp teeth. "Then begin."
Monkain stood in a guarded position, waiting for Addicus to make the first move. He figured that if this guy was so vicious, he would naturally want to throw the first punch. And he did.
Addicus growled and beat his chest like an angry gorilla. Then he attacked. He leapt towards Monkian, going for his throat, but the smaller Monkey dodged the attack. Monkian proceeded to swing his mace at Addicus, but Addicus sidestepped it easily, and he laughed.
"Nice moves, Monkian," he mock-complimented him, "But you'll have to be faster and more clever than that if you're going to beat me with those puny weapons. Aaarrrrgh!" He flexed his huge muscles.
Monkian was not thrilled to have picked a fight with this hulk of an ape that stood before him. Trying to think of a strategy, Monkian suddenly shot a cannonball from his Monkian Shield, aiming it at one of Addicus' legs.
Addicus howled in pain and hopped about. When he had calmed down, he looked at Monkian and asked, "How did you do that?"
"Simple," said Monkian, "Observe." He fired another cannonball at Addicus, which grazed the side of his torso. This made Addicus really mad.
"Clever weapon, Monkey," he said, "But now that you've revealed its properties, I can fight around it much more easily."
Monkian instantly regretted openly demonstrating the Shield's capabilities. But he was well into this battle now, and he had to finish it. There was no way this crazed barbarian was going to let him run away with his life.
Addicus moved his large hands around in the air, almost as if trying to hypnotize Monkian, but the smaller ape was ready to counterattack this time. The bigger ape moved in, and Monkian swung his mace again, managing to do some mild damage to Addicus' helmet, though not enough to tear it apart. Then he scooted out of range as fast as he could, but Addicus clawed at his torso, almost tearing into him.
Monkian knocked Addicus' sharp-nailed hand away from his body, quickly checking for damage. There was nothing seriously hurt there. He fired a cannonball again, aiming for Addicus' face, but to his astonishment, the ape monster reached out and knocked aside the close-range cannonball.
"Good, good!" Addicus remarked, "You're doing better than I thought you would. But I still know who's going to win this fight, so bring it on, because I intend to get my meal."
"Exactly how often are you so talkative during a battle, Addicus?" demanded Monkian.
"Whenever I want to, Monkian," said Addicus, as if the question meant nothing to him, which it probably didn't.
Monkian wanted to show this bastard what it felt like to be taunted. He wanted to replace that smug, feral expression on scary Addicus' face and replace it with awe, amazement, fear, and respect. Addicus, in turn, wanted his own dignity, whatever dignity a barbarian had, anyway, by winning this fight and killing his foe.
Then they both attacked at the exact same moment. Addicus fired a hard punch into the Monkian Shield. It didn't break or shatter, but the force behind the attack sent Monkian falling over backwards on his back. But at the exact same second, the Shield fired a laser ray from its mouth, and it enveloped Addicus' hand. Howling in pain, Addicus struggled to put out the flames of the laser, and then nursed his hand.
He glared at the slowly recovering Monkian as he got up. But behind that glare, Monkian could have sworn that there was a hidden respect there.
"I think we're through here," Addicus said, "I have made my point, and so have you." He started to walk away.
Monkian, confused, called after him, "What about the fight? Who won? Did I win? You didn't eat me."
Addicus jumped up into the tree branches. "Haven't you figured it out, puny Monkian? It was a draw. We both have the strength and the power of the Monkeys to give us meaning in our lives. Now if you'll excuse me, I must find something else to sate my hunger."
And with that, he swung away through the trees and disappeared.
Monkian never saw him again. But his experience with Addicus, the pale Monkey, had taught him not to take any foe for granted ever again. If the odds were in Addicus' favor all the time, he would have to learn to become smarter in his fights against the ThunderCats.
Blessing the fortune of the sacred Monkian Shield, he went back to patrol, realizing how much potential he himself had. He actually felt a little sorry for Addicus. That guy was a wretched soul who lived only to fight and eat. At least, Monkian still had the potential to rule Third Earth and muscle out the ThunderCats. This thought comforted him for a long time afterwards.