The Royal City of Rabanastre was a beautiful and bursting with activity, but it was also unfortunately large as well.

Everyone who lived there knew this fact well, and visitors were warned when entering to pay careful attention to where they were suppose to go.

Vaan walked around a corner and growled, annoyed, "I want to go to the clan hall, not the fountain!"

He turned around in a full circle, "I swear this city shifts positions or something…"

"Well, this is not where we wanted to go," Balthier complained, hands on his hips.

Fran frowned, "We followed the directions perfectly."

"What directions?" Vaan asked.

"Right, left, left, left, go around the fountain, down the alley, right, right, and then another right at the man with the funny hat." Balthier recited, counting it off on his fingers.

Fran pursed her lips, "It was a left at the man with the funny hat."

"No, it wasn't."

"Yes, it was."

He sighed, "Fran, please, it was a right."

Fran shook her head, but Vaan drew their attention by rapidly waving his hands in front of them, "Guys, guys," he said, "did you ever think that the guy with the funny hat moved?"

The sky pirates exchanged a glance, and Vaan sighed, "Look, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, I've lived here my whole life but I still get lost."

"That's not the way to the bazaar, that's-" Vaan started to say, only to have Ashe wave her hand to dismiss the comment, "Do not interrupt me!"

He rolled his eyes and trailed behind her, only to have them both turn into a head end. She frowned and put her hands on her hips, "I thought this was the way!"

"We all think that," Vaan said, shrugging.

When the moogles had announced their amazing device that could instantly transport someone, or a group of people, all across the city of Rabanastre, everyone was thrilled.

Everyone but a certain Bangaa who mentioned his suspicions, including why the moogles did such a service seemingly for free.

It got Vaan thinking, as it was odd, but he withheld judgment since the device was helpful.

But then the moogles began saying odd things whenever they asked to use the Moogling.

It started out with simple suggestions and a height requirement before using it, but then the things they said seemed to get stranger.

"We suggest having at least six phoenix downs in your inventory when using the Moogling."

Vaan made a face, "How come?"

"Oh…we just think it's a good idea." the moogle said, dodging the question.

Penelo shrugged, "We should carry that many anyway, I'm sure it's not a big deal."

"I don't know, this is weird…" Vaan said.

It had been awhile since the group had returned to Rabanastre, and when they traveled there, they discovered the Mooglings were still in effect.

But this time when they tried to use the device outside the Giza plains exit, the moogle was quick to mention;

"Please be aware that when using the Moogling certain strange symptoms have been reported."

"…Like what?" Penelo asked worriedly.

"Symptoms such as, but not limited too, skin discoloration, headache, loss of hearing and fainting. If these symptoms persist for more then three days, we suggest consulting a white mage."

Vaan stared at him, dumbfounded by the long list, while Basch looked confused, "Why is this…perilous device still used if they cause such things?"

The moogle laughed nervously, "Well, no one has told us to stop,"

"If only we could trick all the imperial soldiers into this thing," Vaan quipped, rolling his eyes.

They all stood around the device and the moogle added at the last second, right before they disappeared; "If you feel a sensation akin to spiders crawling on your skin, that is normal and in most cases, temporary."

"Wait, wha-"

The glittering effect of the Moogling faded and they appeared into the city in an instant.

Vaan frowned and looked down, "Where is my vest?"

"Looks as though it did not rematerialize," Basch remarked.

Vaan glared at him, "You think?"

The other man shrugged, and Vaan glared down at the moogle and stated sarcastically, "You'd better add that to your list,"

The moogle was scribbling, "Already doing it!"

"I was….never mind." he muttered, walking off, annoyed.

"Please sign this waver before using the Moogling."

Vaan reached out to take the paper, but Balthier stopped him, "Don't just sign it!"

"Oh, good point," Vaan said, flipping the page to look it over.

There was quite a bit of information listed, and Vaan began reading it out loud.

Most of it listed was things that the moogles has already informed them of, though Vaan caught a clause that had never been mentioned before.

"Loss of personal property, including but not limit too; Gil, weapons, certain armor, both in inventory and on your person, items and jewelry, have been reported."

The blonde hero looked up and glared at the moogle, "You're going to steal from me?!"

"Oh no, noes! We would never!" the little moggle insisted, waving his hands in front of himself.

"Sure you wouldn't," Vaan commented sarcastically, disbelieving.

He waved the paper in front of the moogle's face, "I'm not signing this!"

"Then I'm afraid you can't use the Moogling." the creature told him, shaking his head.

Vaan grumbled, and Penelo shook her head, "I'm not sure it's worth it! Look at all these awful things listed!"

"There's only a slim chance of any of these things happening," the moogle attempted to explain, as if that made it better.

Ashe frowned, "I hate to have to use it, but we have no choice."

"Next time they'll be telling us people have gone missing when using this…" Vaan mumbled.

The moogle plastered it's cutest, most sheepish grin on his face.

Vaan did not find it comforting.

Vaan was on a mission. A mission to expose the Moogling for what it was.

"Hey!" he yelled, stomping up to the nearest moogle, "I know your plan!"

"Err, what plan?" the little creature said, looking around nervously.

Vaan glared at her, "I know all about the last time the Moogling was used, in Arcadia!"

"I have no idea what your talking about!" the moogle insisted.

Vaan pointed at it, "Oh no, you tried to use this same device years ago in Arcadia, but they threw you out. Something about a plot to take over the world!"

The moogle took another look around, and then stopped, frowning, "So, you heard about that, huh?"

"I did! And now I know what your trying to do!" the hero accused.

The moogle laughed, "So what if we are? How will you stop us? Who will believe you?!" The creature shrugged, "We may have some master plan, but you know nothing of it! And even if you think you do, it won't matter. No one will believe you, and you can't stop us!"

The moogle walked up and peered up at him, "Besides, if we leave this city, then you'll have to walk everywhere, and we all know how that works for you!"

Vaan tightened his hands into fists, "I'll find a way to expose you,"

"Good luck!" the moogle said, winking, before returning to her spot beside the device.

Vaan sighed, "Somehow, someday, we'll have to deal with this. Though, I suppose the danger is minimal in comparison to the giant fortress in the sky…"

Author's Note: This is the joke that started the whole idea for this fic...see, my brother and I have always gotten lost in Rabanastre, (has anyone else?) and then I made the joke that the Moogling was dangerous, and this joke spiraled into what you read above. Everytime we went to the city, one of us would come up with something else that could go wrong with it.

And just think if moogles WERE out to take over the world? Who would see it coming? It would be a good story...