Our Girl Scootaloo

Part 3 of 3

by Cozy Mark IV & Jan. McNeville

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-made work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. Please support the official release

Chapter Three point Six: Cultural Differences

With Rarity in the passenger seat, Tammy found that her three friends suddenly had time for a night on the town after all. Sick days were called in, apologies made, and before long the five of them were on their way to a local salon.

"You're in for a treat tonight Rarity, the salon we're going to is the same one that Scootaloo uses from time to time."

"Oh my goodness! Our little Scootaloo has learned the importance of being ladylike?" Rarity asked hopefully.

Tammy looked momentarily uncomfortable and dodged the question with another question. "What do you normally have done when you go out?"

"Oh! Well, first I'd start with a pedicure, then have my hair done, and then I like to check to see if they have anything new in the makeup section, then on to perfume, and perhaps a stop to have my eyelashes curled and-" She was speaking fast enough that she momentarily ran out of breath.

"Well, you shouldn't have any shortage of new things here. And as long as you let them get some photos of you, I think they will probably be happy to let you have it all for free. They're part of a large chain, and that's the deal they have with Scootaloo."

Rarity's eyes were alarmingly large as a grin lit up her face. "Free salon time?"

…

After the initial surprise had worn off, the stylists at the salon were delighted to work with her, especially given that when Scootaloo came in, the regular employees were unceremoniously herded out and 'more professional' stylists brought in.

The first hour was spent looking over all the different products on hoof for the discerning pony. While some things like lipstick and eyelash curlers were essentially unchanged, all the brand names were new, and with the encouragement of the manager (who was one of those who had been scorned and not trusted to work with Scoot,) she began to replace ALL her supplies from Ponyville, including at least one of all the right colors and shades.

To her surprise, some 'utterly essential' items were only available in a single example, and that in Scootaloo's colors.

"But how do you get by without proper concealer? These compacts are obviously well made, but these won't work with my coat."

One of the stylists fielded that question. "Well, we humans do a lot with our hair," She said as she brushed out her long blond locks. "But we don't really like hair anywhere else. Have you noticed that we only come in a couple of shades, mainly brown to white? That's because you're seeing our skin, not our coats."

"You mean none of your makeup is compatible with the brilliant white hair of my face?"

They all shared an surprised look. "Well, no, not really. Our makeup is designed to go onto skin, not fur. Human women usually shave off what little fur we have." She said stretching out her legs for Rarity to see.

"You... You shave off your beautiful coats?!" Rarity asked in astonishment.

Looking at her shocked expression, Tammy couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I don't think you could call our natural hair 'beautiful'." She thought about it for a moment, then fished out her cell phone and pulled up a picture for Rarity. "Here. This is what my husband looks like in his boxers."

Rarity cringed. "Eww! But that's..."

They all stared at her. "Now do you understand?"

"That's what you would look like if you let your coats grow out?" She asked with a look of disgust. "I... Umm... Yes. Yes, I think I understand."

"I know we have some gaps in our lineup for your species, but we can still do a few things you might enjoy." The manager chimed in. "We still have everything we need to do a full pedicure, and we could see if Scootaloo's old shoes fit you." She added, gesturing to a plaque on the wall with four beautifully carved aluminum shoes. "How does that sound?"

Rarity had that look again. "Oh my goodness! I've never seen shoes like these before! Who designed these?"

The manager smiled. "It was some friend of Scootaloo's. They were made on a CNC machine out of solid blocks of aluminum. She seemed to like them, and if you like, we can put them on you after your pedicure."

She nodded enthusiastically and the staff got to work, some of Tammy's friends joining in when they were able. One of the more experienced stylists who had watched and learned how to work with Scootaloo took down the shoes, along with the two part epoxy needed to secure them in place.

In a couple of hours the girls emerged from the store carrying so many bags that even Rarity was having trouble lifting it all. The staff gave them a heartfelt sendoff and they all piled back into the car, Rarity's borrowed shoes making an interesting 'clack' noise on the hard concrete.

"That was wonderful!" Rarity beamed as she pulled the door closed. "Where are we going next?"

The four women shared an uncomfortable look.

"Should we go to our usual spot?" Tammy asked.

"Umm... I don't know..."

"Yeah... that could be awkward..."

"Doesn't she count as a kid?"

Rarity puffed up her chest indignantly. "I most certainly am not a foal![ I am a full grown mare! Now what is all this about?"

"Well... We usually go out to ladies night at the club..."

Rarity looked at her expectantly. When nothing more was forthcoming she asked. "And?"

"And it's... a strip club."

"And?"

Tammy's three friends were looking more and more startled, and even Tammy, who had spent a few extra hours with Rarity was a bit surprised.

They tried to explain the concept in small words.

"Well, we all go to the club, and we watch hot guys strip naked..."

Rarity had raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Is that all?"

Now they were really starting to look uncomfortable in the back seat. "Well... Sometimes they have women in tight outfits come and tie up the guys... for fun..."

Rarity's face immediately brightened. "Oh, one of those clubs! Of course, I'd love to go, it's just a pity I left my good flogger at home. Honestly, the one time I don't bring it with me."

All four women took a moment to pick their jaws up off the floor.

"You know about that?!"

Rarity gave her a confused look. "Well of course I do. Outfits for that kind of club make up a substantial portion of my business income. How do you not know this? I thought you said I was famous?" She finished with a look at Tammy.

Tammy stammered out. "I, but... Rarity, we know you from a children's TV show!"

It took a moment for her to process this tidbit of information that Dashie had neglected to mention.

She actually seemed offended by it.

"You mean you've never seen the 'Bit and Bridle' club? You've never heard of my friends Knotwork and Mistress Leash? You've never seen the straps and bridles I keep on display in the front of my store?"

Tammy looked thoughtful. "Actually, they did leave in the displays in your store... Is that why we never see anypony wearing a bridle on the show?"

"Well fetishwear isn't exactly common outside the club and the bedroom." Rarity conceded. "You have to be particularly daring to walk about in a control harness during the day. The only pony I can remember doing that is the mare who visited from Saddle Arabia." She smiled at the memory. "And oh, did her husband get some envious looks!"

The sound of mental gears grinding was almost audible as the four of them tried to wrap their minds around what she was telling them. At length she looked at Tammy. "Well? Are we going or not?"

Tammy shrugged, started the car, and they went.

...

As Celestia and Rainbow flew behind Scootaloo, the orange pony led the way to the hospital where she worked and studied. The three of them circled down to the empty helipad beside the building where Agent Tyler was waiting.

"Glad to see you're okay. Is everything all right?" She asked Scootaloo with a raised eyebrow.

Scootaloo turned to regard the Princess and Rainbow with a frown. "Yes, it was necessary to explain a few things about the local power grid, but I think the point has been made." Celestia looked sheepish as Scootaloo turned back to Agent Tyler. "Could one of your people put in a request with the prosthetics shop in the morning? If our friends elect to stay for any length of time they're going to need a heads up display like my old one in order to fly safely."

Tyler smiled. "Already done, though I don't expect to hear anything back until morning. I also took the liberty of emailing several local flight instructors to ask for lessons."

Scootaloo shook her head and really smiled for first time in hours. "Always one step ahead aren't you? Thank you." Turning back to Rainbow and Celestia she called out. "Hear that? We should have you two legal to fly on your own again in less than a week."

"What!?" Rainbow and Dashy shouted in cute, if indignant harmony.

"Relax, Rainbow." Scootaloo replied, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You saw what happened with the pole and the power lines. In this world you need a license to fly, and that means at least forty hours of practice in a human flying machine."

Rainbow's eyes widened. "Forty hours!?"

"Minimum. Most pilots need more than that to pass the test, but you should be happy; these lessons can cost a fortune, but I have a feeling you'll be getting them for free." She added with a grin and a sidelong glance at Tyler.

Before Rainbow could object further, Agent Tyler spoke up. "We can deal with all that in the morning, but at the moment we have more pressing problems. How many ponies did you bring to our world?"

"I brought the six element holders and myself." Celestia replied evenly. "But none of us seemed to have arrived in the same place. I had set the spell to deliver us to 'Scootaloo's location', but with three of her here, the spell must have been confused."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "It probably didn't help that I was in the chopper doing two hundred miles an hour either. That means that five of your friends are unaccounted for."

"Not quite." The agent added with a smile. "We found Twilight in the main campus library after she apparently drove the poor librarian half mad with questions. She's in a car on her way here right now. Pinkie Pie is also accounted for, though I didn't see the need to bring her in right away."

"Why not?" Rainbow asked, eyebrow raised.

"Because she has started a Pinkie party, and has already been booted out of a bar and a frat house for violating the building occupancy limits." The agent replied with a grin. "An hour ago she commandeered the fourteen thousand seat basketball Coliseum, and the party has only been growing since." She held out a tablet computer showing a live feed of the party which had already overflowed the floor and was pressing up past the first rows of seating. As the ponies stared, Pinkie appeared on the impromptu stage and began leading the group in song to something that sounded like dubstep.

"It just seemed like a shame to pull her away from this."

"When we caught up with Twilight, she reported seeing Rarity out enjoying herself with a group of young women. We have an agent keeping tabs on her, and she is apparently planning to catch up with us later of her own accord. At the moment she seems to be enjoying herself at a local salon."

Celestia nodded gratefully. "Thank you Ms. Tyler, that accounts for everypony but Applejack and Fluttershy."

The Agent's face fell at this. "Unfortunately, we don't know where they are. We alerted the local authorities to keep an eye out, but so far there have been no sightings. Do you have any idea what they will likely do in this situation? The more we know, the faster we should be able to find them."

Celestia frowned. "The only thing I can be sure of is that they will be out looking for us. You should alert as many humans as possible so that when they are found they know where to go."

"Very well, that's what I have been working on so far." Tyler replied with a nod. She paused and looked off into the distance as someone messaged her. "And Scootaloo? Twilight just arrived at the main entrance. I believe I can handle the introductions from here," She gestured to Rainbow and Celestia, "but if you wanted to introduce yourself to Twilight, I took the liberty of setting up a library media room for you on the third floor."

Scootaloo's eyes lit up, and she quickly excused herself. Rainbow looked confused until Agent Tyler reminded her: "Scootaloo is a doctor. She's been hoping to compare notes with Twilight for years now."

...

As Agent Tyler led Rainbow and Princess Celestia down the hall to the staging area, a man in robes and a white collar caught sight of the group and introduced himself.

"Princess Celestia I presume?" He asked with impeccable manners.

"Yes?" She asked, bringing the three of them to a stop in the hallway. "Who might you be?"

"Father Schmidt, Princess." He replied, holding out a hand to shake her hoof. "Do you have a moment that I might speak with you?"

Celestia turned back to the agent with a questioning look, but didn't quite catch the mischievous glint in Tyler's eye. The agent shrugged. "Why don't you talk in that side office over there." She indicated an empty room off the corridor, walked over and turned on the lights. "I'll drop Rainbow off and catch up with you in a few minutes." As Celestia walked in, Tyler whispered in her ear. "Don't agree to anything and try not to get too worked up."

Celestia raised an eyebrow, but Agent Tyler had already turned away. Rainbow gave her a shrug, then followed after. Once they were out of sight around the corner, Rainbow asked. "Why did you do that? Couldn't church have waited until we found the others?"

This time their was no mistaking the grin on her face as she answered. "After what she put Scootaloo and her family through tonight, I feel it is only right to introduce her to a representative of the Catholic Church." She thought for a moment, and her expression became friendlier. "By the way, did you have a religion where you came from? You mentioned in the helicopter that your father kept you hidden, so you couldn't have gone to church proper, but did you have a faith inside the home?"

"Well..." Dashie remembered back to the first time her father had introduced her to the faith, and the warmth and comfort it had brought her. She also remembered, all too clearly, the way he had to keep his faith secret at his work for fear of reprisal, and the hateful letters he had tried to hide from her.

"Could we please not talk about this?" She asked, visibly shrinking away.

Feeling like a complete heel, Agent Tyler's face fell. "Of course. I'm sorry Dashie. I didn't mean to pry."

…

"I believe I understand the basics." Celestia answered. "And your Pope and Jesus seem like very nice humans, but what is this 'hell' that you keep referring to?"

Father Schmidt thought for a moment before continuing. "Hell is the place where the souls of the damned go; those who die without having accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. It is a place of pain and suffering, of fire and brimstone were the dammed burn in agony for all eternity."

The princess blanched visibly at his description. "Burn?"

"Yes." He replied evenly. "It is a place of torture and horror. The damned may have their skins peeled off slowly with a dull knife, or their bodies dipped into vats of burning fire, screaming as their flesh burns away."

The princess was now noticeably paler with a tinge of green around her face. "That's horrible! What kind of evil pony would stand by and allow such a thing?"

The priest scoffed. "Our Lord God is not a pony, Princess; we were created in his image, and redeemed from sin by the sacrifice of his one and only son. Our God is merciful, and only requires us to accept him as our one true God in order to avoid the pits of hell."

"But I have never heard of this 'God'! Nor have any of my ponies in Equestria."

Father Schmidt sighed. "That is unfortunate, as it means all those who ever died there, died in sin, and are now in hell. All the more reason you should make an appointment with the Bishop to invite some of our missionaries to your world as soon as possible."

That seemed to shake Celestia, and she eyed Schmidt darkly. "You are saying then that all the ponies who have ever lived and died in Equestria, all my stallions, mares and foals are now burning in your hell?"

"So it is written, yes." He replied, mistaking her rising anger for a crisis of faith. "The mares screaming as they watch their foals torn apart by wild animals, their stallions suffering as white hot pokers are slowly twisted into their eye sockets... But if you act now, we can ensure that no more are lost us."

...

Half an hour into Rainbow's introduction to the world of humans, Celestia stormed into the room and slammed the door behind her. Agent Tyler looked up at her. "Did you have a nice talk?"

Rainbow turned around and nearly fell out of her chair seeing the princesses face contorted by rage, small flickers of lightning arcing around her horn.

"The stallion and I had a difference of opinion." She managed through gritted teeth. "I do not think I will be speaking with him again soon."

The Agent teaching the class looked to Tyler for help, but received only a shrug in reply.

"Um... Okay then. Would you like to join Rainbow here? We're going over the basics of the human world so you can move around without getting into trouble or getting hurt."

With an effort, Celestia took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "Yes, thank you. I would like that very much."