7

Evenings...mornings... there never was a moment during the day when she would feel better.

When she entered her apartment – or more precisely the apartment Alejandro was renting for her – she felt like she was entering a no man's land. She did not feel at home at all. Even though he had let her choose the furniture to make herself comfortable, she always felt like she had cheated, which was the case. She HAD cheated, but she had to, it was meant to be.

Yet, feeling surrounded by furniture which was not hers made her feel like she was trapped within the dull walls of a prison. She suddenly felt out of breath and she quickly headed for the kitchen corner and poured herself a large glass of water from the tap. After a couple of gulps, she caught her breath and looked around. She put the glass in the sink and headed for the couch where she let her body fall heavily. Her head was leaning against the armrest and her eyes were focusing on the bulb of the elegant lamp on the side table. She would have remained there for a while, lost in dark thoughts, if she had not noticed a tiny detail, something which had no reason to be, something that made her shiver and sit up in a very fast movement. She turned and leaned to get a closer look under the lamp, whose foot was decorated with bronze ivy leaves rising to the top of the lamp, engulfing the bulb in a delicate design.

Delicately hidden within the design, Tessa saw what she would never expect to find: a tiny microphone.

OK, I should have expected this. Now the question is: who did this? Alejandro? I don't think so. I found the guy to be eventually rather honest, if I don't take into account his snow business. Ricardo? Yeah, may be, I never could stand the nerd, I can't explain it but he sort of gives me the creeps. One of the body guards? Most probably, yes, one of them, acting on behalf of Ricardo. Sebastian looks kinda cool but I really can't stand that Matt Perkins. His smile looks so fake and he gives me the impression he is always on to something bad. Now, I guess there is more than one of these little suckers! I'd better check the whole place. Good for me I live alone in here and I never shared my thoughts openly with anyone, either in the apartment or on the phone. Gee, I could have been spotted and then what? Big trouble. Right, let's hunt for the little spying bastards now...

And thinking so, she slowly stood up and went to the radio. She turned it on and put the volume at a high level to cover her moves across the apartment and prevent anyone listening and making a guess at what she was doing.

She first thoroughly checked the living room and the kitchen corner. Another microphone had been installed under the little bar counter. Then she moved on to the bedroom and found another one hidden under the telephone set. Figures! Clever guys. Finally she thought she'd better check the bathroom; after a detailed search, she found a fourth one behind the mirror. The devices were so small that they could practically be hidden in the smallest spaces. She hesitated to check the rest room, hoping whoever did this was not evil enough to go that far. After a very detailed search, she did not manage to find any there.

At least I have some privacy here.

What now? For sure, I cannot take them away. I'm here to pretend. So let's pretend I did not notice anything.

She came back to the little bar in the living room, opened the cupboard, took a bottle and poured herself a small glass of Martini, added two ice cubes and a slice of lemon. Before drinking, she seemed to remember something and put the glass back on the counter. She walked to the couch where she had left her purse and took a pill box from it. She took one white pill and headed back to the counter to fetch her glass. She put the pill in her mouth, smiled for a brief instant and swallowed it with a long sip of her cocktail. Then she sat again on the couch and smiled to herself.

So far so good, she thought. It was high time they made a move at me. Maybe now things will go a bit faster and I can get out of here.

She put the glass on the table in front of her and leaned back on the couch, still smiling. But her smile was just a reflex, to let go of the stress, the fear, the pain. Not the pain she was feeling now, for she was feeling none. But the pain she remembered, the one lurking in the depths of her memory, the one that left scars, the one that almost took her life once, it seemed like ages ago.

She closed her eyes and tried to fight away the souvenir of what she had gone through. But there was no way she could prevent the images from popping up in her mind, like the million hoppers in Egypt. They kept coming and begging for more, more of her attention, more of her denial. But she was too weak now to fight them off.

She was walking in the street, alone, heading back for home. It was dark already and only a couple of almost defective street lamps were transforming the area into a zombie zone where it was nevertheless safe to walk, the area where she lived had always been safe. She was almost in front of her place when she saw him, walking towards her. And she smiled. He had finished early that day, which meant they could spend a quiet and long evening at home, at last.

When she was only a couple of feet away, a big shadow suddenly emerged from the corner she was passing by and grabbed her, putting a knife in front of her throat. The man in front of her froze, then very slowly walked to her and her attacker, speaking in a reassuring tone, trying to disarm a critical situation. He usually was very good at it but this time, the shadow seemed to be coming right from a mad terror movie and pushed the knife close to her flesh. She could feel the cold of the blade, she was scared but she did not show it.

The man in front of her stepped a bit closer, slowly, his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace. The last thing she remembered was a biting pain in her throat, she could not utter a sound, she fell and darkness wrapped her in her cold blanket.

When she woke up, she was in a hospital, with a thick bandage around her neck, an IV line in her arm and no one by her side to watch her sleep.

All they could tell her later was they were sorry. He was gone. He had tried to save her from the madman, but right after she fell, they engaged into a merciless fight and he had been stabbed several times. When the paramedics arrived, it was not too late for her.

But it had been too late for HIM.

Her hand moved to her neck, covered by her turtleneck. She let the tears flow in silence, swallowed hard a couple of times and opened her eyes.

Snap out of it, girl, you'd better be careful if you wanna live through this! You cannot change the past. And you only have a little idea of what's gonna happen, or what may happen. So get a grip and move on. This is now. Watch out, you still have a job to do.

She drank the rest of her glass, stood up, put the glass in the kitchen sink and headed for the bathroom. While she got undressed, she started to sing for herself, out loud, the song she loved to sing when she felt bluesy like tonight. She sang her heart out, with all the emotion she could put in her performance, just for the good feeling that it would generate inside of her, for the good memories it would bring, for this was the song he loved most hearing from her.

The man with the headphones started to smile when he heard the voice of the young girl. She had such a wonderful voice. However he never felt sorry thinking that one day, his boss could ask him to take care of her. And without a sigh, he turned the volume of his equipment a bit louder and listened to the words...

Amazing grace...how sweet the sound that saved a wreck like me...

Yeah, like you... indeed... but I will take care of that... all in due time.

S*H ~ S*H ~ S*H ~ S*H ~ S*H ~ S*H ~ S*H ~