Okay, so I've only got three chapters. Here's the final one for today.
22. Seeking Help
Rain comes to Forks. Even in the summer.
When it was one of those days, I stayed in my room with my guitar playing restlessly.
"Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping into it
And letting go
And no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone"
There was a soft rap on the door.
"It's open," I said, continuing to pluck. Caleb came in.
"You seem pretty restless," he commented.
"Very."
"Why?"
I tried keeping my mouth shut, but telling somebody might help lift the weight off my chest.
"I'm so confused, Cale," I said. "I think I need professional help."
"Confused about what?"
"Yesterday, when you were in Seattle, I took a trip 'round the state on my motorcycle," I began. "I went to Port Angeles, Tacoma, the Makah rez, even . . . but it felt . . . lifeless.
"Then, my subconscious led me to La Push," I said the name with emphasis. "And I found myself saying 'welcome home' to me."
"It's very simple you know," he said. "You still love him."
"I don't—" I began, but my thoughts flitted back to my hunt. "Well, at least my subconscious does."
Caleb became deep in thought.
"You know what?" he finally said. "I'm giving you the day off. You have at least twelve hours to think this through." With that, he stood up and closed the door behind him as he exited.
I began plucking the guitar again, but I got sick of the sound. I need my piano.
I ran to the house and saw the piano on the slightly raised platform in the middle of the room.
I began stroking the keys, playing just like the kid I was supposed to be.
Then I remembered the intro to one of my songs. Come to think of it, it has a double purpose. It's not just about unrequited love, it's also about regret. Regret of letting go.
"The rain falls on my windows
And the coldness runs through my soul
And the rain falls, oh the rain falls
I don't want to be alone
I wish that I could photoshop all
Our bad memories
Coz the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
Won't leave me alone
If you come back to me
I'll be all that you need
Baby, come back to me
Let me make up for what happened
And come back (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Lower east side of Manhattan
She goes, shopping for new clothes
And she buys this, and she buys that
Just leave her alone
I wish that he would listen
To her side of the story
It isn't that bad, it isn't that bad
And she's wiser for it now
I admit I cheated
Don't know why I did it
But I do regret it
Nothing I can do or say
To change the past (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Everything I ever did
Heaven knows I'm sorry, babe
I was too young not to see
You were always there for me
And my curiosity
Got the better of me
Baby, take it easy on me
Anything from A to Z
Tell me what you want to be
I open my heart to be
You are my priority
Can't you see you've punished me
More than enough already
Baby, take it easy on me
(Baby, take it easy on me)
Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back to me
(come back)
Baby, come back to me Baby, (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
(come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Na na na na, Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na, Na na na"
I finished the song with a flourish.
"I need you, Jake," I finally said, braving to mention his name after so long. "I need you to come back."
Now I sincerely wish I hadn't slapped his face.
I'll be posting the rest tomorrow including the surprise and the song index. Please review! Thanks so much! :)